:baby_symbol: Parenting advice - you're gonna get hit
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I definitely agree with the correction. Not you only will be embarrassed, but those who witness it may be, too. If your wife is with you, I guarantee she will be (at least my ex would have been); I hope your sofa is comfortable for sleeping on. :)
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May as well drop this here.
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FTFY
Gram'd - bz
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Clicked link; opened in new tab. Read article. Returned to this tab. Confused, because while I was gone, Discourse had scrolled this tab to post #1.
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They do. They just don't care while they are having a tantrum. As @hardwaregeek said, kids are very adept at context-switching.
Think of the tantrum as an IRQ. Your job is to get them back to user-space. Getting them to break, continue, or throw an exception are some of the means at your disposal.
Definitely.
As mentioned previously all kids are different so you need to find a way of breaking them out of the tantrum space. It might be making them laugh, it might be taking them aside where they can calm down, or whatever. But you can't do anything until you break them out of it.
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Here's another piece of indispensable unsolicited advice:
We found that our boys didn't develop linearly, which was my expectation.
As examples.
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I thought that sleeping through the night would involve slightly longer gaps between feeds until it got to 6/8 hours or whatever. Instead we just found that one night we fed him at 11pm, had no wake up at for the 3am and then were woken at 6am for the morning feed.
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Toilet training the younger boy. He just wasn't getting it despite him begging us not to put him back in nappies. Going through 8 changes of pants a day with no improvement for forever. Then one day he goes off on his own to poop and since then he's had zero accidents.
It can be frustrating and hard (and seem like things will never get better) but you never know when a hugely welcome change could be a day away.
HangInThere.jpg
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our boys didn't develop linearly
Oh, yes. It's very much plateaus and breakthroughs. Some things may improve continuously, at least once they get past the initial breakthrough, but it's rarely slow and steady; even the skill improvements that are more or less continuous are really more like a series of tiny plateaus and breakthroughs.
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I thought that sleeping through the night would involve slightly longer gaps between feeds until it got to 6/8 hours or whatever. Instead we just found that one night we fed him at 11pm, had no wake up at for the 3am and then were woken at 6am for the morning feed.
When that happened with our first, we both thought that the other took care of the middle of the night feeding. When we realized that neither of us had, we then wondered if we slept through it. It was not until the next night that we realized he was just sleeping 7-8 hours a stretch at night.
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I did almost all the nighttime feedings, so I was very pleasantly aware of when sleeping through the night happened. Unfortunately, it happened at almost exactly the same time #2 arrived, so still no sleeping through the night for me. :(
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If I recall, that happened around the six month mark. How many kids did you have in the pipe?
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For us, it took almost exactly two years for both #1 and #2. However, it did settle down pretty quickly to a fairly easy routine of a single waking that seemed to correspond reasonably well with my sleep rhythms, so it wasn't too awful, even though it seemed to last a really long time. Neither of my kids were ever fussy about bottle temperature, so there was little or no prep time — just grab a bottle, pop it in, sit in the rocking chair half-asleep for a few minutes while they sucked it down, then back to sleep. Oh, yeah, and change a diaper before or after the feeding.
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Don't be like this lady:
http://www.psmag.com/health-and-behavior/help-my-son-has-become-an-eco-conscious-monster
I can do nothing right in my teenage son’s eyes. He grills me about the distance traveled of each piece of fruit and every vegetable I purchase. He interrogates me about the provenance of all the meat, poultry, and fish I serve. He questions my every move—from how I choose a car (why not electric?) and a couch (why synthetic fill?) to how I tend the garden (why waste water on flowers?)—an unremitting interrogation of my impact on our desecrated environment. While other parents hide alcohol and pharmaceuticals from their teens, I hide plastic containers and paper towels.
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The first hint that my indoctrination was working came when Cory was 12. We were in Costa Rica, about to hike through the rainforest, and he refused to apply bug repellent. Despite my dozen monologues about mosquitoes carrying deadly diseases, he declined the oily liquid. As payback for my antipathy toward all things chemical, my boy spiked a 103-degree temperature and briefly appeared on the brink of death from dengue fever.
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I am reminded of the napkin incident when my son wipes his oily, pizza-stained hands on his jeans or an upholstered dining room chair, or when he leaves a sticky trail of locally grown organic orange drippings from the kitchen to the dining room because he wants to save a napkin.I have stopped buying oranges.
...
The next time Cory takes the stage he’ll be 3,000 miles away. When I think about the distance, a desert of grief leaves me aching to connect with my baby. Then I find him in the kitchen inspecting recently purchased produce. “Why did you buy asparagus when it’s out of season and grown in Mexico?” he asks, brandishing a limp spear. “It’s not even really asparagus.”
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>The first hint that my indoctrination was working
Indoctrination is a good thing that every parent should aspire to do to their children.
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He interrogates me about the provenance of all the meat, poultry, and fish I serve.
Here's $30. For the week.
The stovetop/range and fridge space are free because I'm a nice guy.
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@boomzilla said:
He interrogates me about the provenance of all the meat, poultry, and fish I serve.
Here's $30. For the week.
The stovetop/range and fridge space are free because I'm a nice guy.
@boomzilla said:
He interrogates me about the provenance of all the meat, poultry, and fish I serve.
Here's $30. For the week.
The stovetop/range and fridge space are free because I'm a nice guy.
I would imagine that most people who aren't Komsomol candidates would agree Mom should've started pushing back much earlier.
Forget "here's $30". "You can use your allowance to buy however much organic tofu you want, but outside of that you'll eat what's on your plate and you'll like it."
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Forget "here's $30". "You can use your allowance to buy however much organic tofu you want, but outside of that you'll eat what's on your plate and you'll like it."
And if you don't eat it for dinner, you can have it for breakfast. And if not for breakfast then lunch...
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And if you don't eat it for dinner, you can have it for breakfast. And if not for breakfast then lunch...
As a picky eater with a child who's a picky eater I generally try to avoid making food the boy actually dislikes.
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I resemble that remark. But there are limits. Especially when it's something that the kid has liked since forever but prepared slightly differently. I'm not talking about large portions, either. But if my kid started pulling the crap from TFA, they might be.
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something that the kid has liked since forever but prepared slightly differently.
Oh, that. Yeah. Son went through several months of "no, I don't like wheat bread." All comments to the effect that "yes you did, you just stopped eating bread for a while and forgot" were ignored. So I waited a couple months longer until he forgot about that, and then when he started saying he wanted sandwiches again, bought...wheat! I waited until he'd eaten a couple of sandwiches with the wheat bread to drop the hammer: "you know, that's what you used to eat a long time ago, until you went without it for a while and then insisted you never liked it."
I got to use the same trick two more times before he caught on.
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Forget "here's $30". "You can use your allowance to buy however much organic tofu you want, but outside of that you'll eat what's on your plate and you'll like it."
You missed my point... "you'll eat whatever you can scare up on $30... and like it."
There would be no "what's on your plate". Just what's on my plate... and that's mine.
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You missed my point... "you'll eat whatever you can scare up on $30... and like it."
No, I understood that. I was going to offer the $30 as an offset to whatever I serve, as in "you can skip out on as many of my meals as you can afford, if you want to turn your nose up at what I serve." Also, I forgot to mention, that $30 is his allowance, so food competes with everything else he'd want to use the allowance for. A subtle twist o' the knife.
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that $30 is his allowance, so food competes with everything else
Oooh. You are mean.
I was gonna let him keep his allowance to buy coffee, art supplies, iphone apps and stuff...
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Made from fossil fuels! Disallowed!
The apps aren't. Re-allowed!
Besides that's his own moral dilemma - not mine.
FWIW - my phone case is made from upcycled dinosaur bones in a petrochemical plastic shell.
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The apps are made from recycled coffee.
Which probably comes from a different hemisphere! Too many food miles!
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Oooh. You are mean.
I prefer to think of it as "providing a valuable life lesson" because that's what it is--and it's something with far-reaching consequences.
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I prefer to think of it as "providing a valuable life lesson" because that's what it is--and it's something with far-reaching consequences
And so do I ;)
I was just lenient in thinking that "here's what we spend on your food - not to mention our time and effort bringing it to you - good luck with staying fed...." was educational enough.
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Yeah, so...
[img]http://sevenseventeen.ca/images/5w6d.jpg[/img]
Three years of trying, two years of fertility treatments, more IUIs than I can count, one miscarriage (17 weeks =( ), and now one IVF (and 5 weeks and 6 days) later...
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@Lorne_Kates said:
Yeah, so...
We're back to "how do you pronounce 'so....'"?
Congratulations.
If I understand correctly!!
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We're back to "how do you pronounce 'so....'"?
I pronounce it with a soft g instead of a hard J, so it sounds like "gift"
Congratulations.
If I understand correctly!!
Thanks, and yes you do. I figure if any group of people would recognize an ultrasound photo on sight, it'd be the folks in this thread. =)
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@Lorne_Kates said:
so it sounds like "gift"
<The whole "This is baby" Banner gave it away, actually >
And so it is!
We here at WTDWTF have a gift for you.. a whole thread of unsolicited advice!!
Just what you always wanted.
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Don't be this woman:
Yeah, yeah, the Bad Ideas thread is .
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Absolutely, congratulations to you and the mom-to-be!
And condolences to the poor kid who's going to have to put up with you as a dad. ;)
Oops, that should have been a reply to @Lorne_Kates, obviously.
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the child’s father emptied a water bottle in the kitchen and filled it with vodka to take to a friend’s house
Why the fuck wouldn't he have just taken the vodka bottle to his friend's house?
Filed under: i'll most likely regret asking
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Why the fuck wouldn't he have just taken the vodka bottle to his friend's house?
Maybe his friend is a priest.
You don't know!
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Maybe his friend is a priest.
Still a . Actually, most priests are allowed to drink vodka (except Mormons, of course).
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Still a . Actually, most priests are allowed to drink vodka (except Mormons, of course).
Wouldn't it be MORE suspicious drinking out of a bottle?
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We here at WTDWTF have a gift for you.. a whole thread of unsolicited advice!!
I've been reading and taking notes. Better than anything my family would offer.
Filed under: After all, they raised me.
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Absolutely, congratulations to you and the mom-to-be!
And condolences to the poor kid who's going to have to put up with you as a dad.
It won't be that bad. I can be extremely level headed and rational.
{checks post history}
Fuck.
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@Lorne_Kates said:
Filed under: After all, they raised me.
If you keep doing what you've been doing, you will keep getting what you've been getting.
Of course...I am not sure what is worse...raising another Canadian or another er. ;)
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@Lorne_Kates said:
Three years of trying, two years of fertility treatments, more IUIs than I can count, one miscarriage (17 weeks =( ), and now one IVF (and 5 weeks and 6 days) later...
The very best of luck to you guys. Be prepared to lose lots of sleep in a good cause.
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Congratulations! And best of luck.
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Don't be this woman:
In fact, don't be either of those parents.
@the article said:Hetlet said the couple quickly realized that the mother had mistakenly used vodka instead of water.
The father became irate and strangled the woman, according to Hetlet.
“The argument started, and the focus did not become let’s make sure our baby is ok, it became let's blame each other for this,” Hetlet said.
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@the article said:
Hetlet said the couple quickly realized that the mother had mistakenly used vodka instead of water.
The father became irate and strangled the woman, according to Hetlet.
“The argument started, and the focus did not become let’s make sure our baby is ok, it became let's blame each other for this,” Hetlet said.
And then their son grew up to be this guy:
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Their son will be doing well if he makes it to adulthood at all.
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Oops, that should have been a reply to @Lorne_Kates, obviously.
Uh-huh.
Sooooo believable.