Windows 10 upgrade causes marital bliss, AKA, The official over-sharing thread
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I thought you guys would find this mildly amusing.
@RedditDumbass said:
Loaded up WIN 10 last night and left it on to do its thing. Woke up to wife asking why I set it to rotate all my porn images right on the desk top view. I have no idea how to shut that feature off and that computer is staying shut down until I do.
https://np.reddit.com/r/Windows10/comments/3f5won/tablet_view_is_showing_saved_porn_images/
and then this reply...
@AnotherRedditDumbass said:
I have the same problem OP! Some of my porn files are showing up as "most viewed" every time I open the file manager. Luckily, I have no wife, and no one else uses my laptop. Still would prefer not to have this problem, though.
Filed under: Windows 69
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At the risk of repeating myself...
Am I the only one who thinks that the solution to this is "Don't do
DrugsPorn"Oh? I am the only one?
Carry on then.
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Am I the only one who thinks that the solution to this is "
Win 10"DrugsPornThere. That's better.
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Nothing wrong with a healthy appetite for erotica :)
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Am I the only one who thinks that the solution to this is "Don't do Porn"
For those who aren't willing to "jack it in" (haha), why on earth would anyone need to save porn to their PC nowdays? If you really need to, creating an encrypted archive is very easy.
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If you really need to, creating an encrypted archive is very easy.
Even better: An encrypted USB drive ...
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Jesus, you have like 17 different genders, how is it you're socially conservative?
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Nothing wrong with a healthy appetite for erotica
of course not, but then some people get weird when they discover their partner does porn.
so.... ok. you can do porn if you want to, but don't try to hide it from your SO because that's not cool. (remember kids, as Pinkie Pie says: Sharing is Caring!)
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Jesus
I am not he.
you have like 17 different genders
No, I have one. just one.
it is a nonstandard one, but still just one.
how is it you're socially conservative?
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humor is apparently very subjective.
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humor is apparently very subjective.
Sorry to break it to you, but it wasn't a very good joke :)
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it wasn't a very good joke
:'(
i guess i should cancel my standup routine then. the whole thing hinged on that joke.
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To all women of the world reading this: your husband watches pr0n, your boyfriend watches pr0n and your DAD watches pr0n.
Now, if you want to know if your SO is a liar, ask him if he ever masturbates. The answer, always, should be yes.
why on earth would anyone need to save porn to their PC nowdays?
Because a connection to the Internet isn't always present/reliable/private?
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Now, if you want to know if your SO is a liar, ask him if he ever masturbates. The answer, always, should be yes.
Always? Seems like a barrier to posting...
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your husband watches pr0n, your boyfriend watches pr0n and your DAD watches pr0n.
Also your mom, sister, and daughter. Porn ain't sexist.
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why on earth would anyone need to save porn to their PC nowdays?
Some sites you don't want to be caught going to more than once. Once could be a mistake. Every other night is a pattern.
"You told me when we got married that you weren't a furry!"
"I'm not! I swear, babe!"
"Well, then why are you watching furry porn with a tail in your ass?"
"... ... ...there's a logical explanation for all of this if you'll just give a me minute..."
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@DoctorJones said:
why on earth would anyone need to save porn to their PC nowdays?
Some sites you don't want to be caught going to more than once. Once could be a mistake. Every other night is a pattern.
"You told me when we got married that you weren't a furry!"
"I'm not! I swear, babe!"
"Well, then why are you watching furry porn with a tail in your ass?"
"... ... ...there's a logical explanation for all of this if you'll just give a me minute..."... It's a font! Yeah, that's right. It's just another programming geekery font.
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if you want to know if your SO is a liar, ask
himherif she ever masturbatesAlso true.
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Better yet, ask what they masturbate to. You probably have one or more of those things in common without realizing it, if you haven't had this conversation yet.
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@Eldelshell said:
if you want to know if your SO is a liar, ask
him herit ifsheit ever masturbates
Also true.Pretty sure __S__tack __O__verflow is a website... probably unable to masturbate
Filed Under: Just saying!
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Pretty sure Stack Overflow is a website... probably unable to masturbate
I for one welcome our new robotic overlo- OH GODDESS! WHAT ARE YOU DOING?! STOP THAT! NOT IN FRONT OF THE CHILDREN!!!!!!!!
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Pretty sure Stack Overflow is a website... probably unable to masturbate
Gender Identity is completely separate from Sexual Preference. Just because you identify as a website, does not mean you have to be asexual- even if that combination is relatively common.
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OH GODDESS! WHAT ARE YOU DOING?! STOP THAT! NOT
IN FRONT OFON THE CHILDREN!!!!!!!!heh heh
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Pretty sure you need reproductive organs to masturbate (though you could prove me wrong)...
Filed Under: Also: Jeff made SO
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OH GODDESS! WHAT ARE YOU DOING?! STOP THAT! NOT
IN FRONT OFON THE CHILDREN!!!!!!!!
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Pretty sure you need reproductive organs to masturbate (though you could prove me wrong)...
Filed Under: Also: Jeff made SO
Dude was able to webify SSDS, and convince us all to use it instead of say, forking TDWTF and running phpBB or something else that sort of works instead.
What can't he do?
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@RedditDumbass said:
Loaded up WIN 10 last night and left it on to do its thing. Woke up to wife asking why I set it to rotate all my porn images right on the desk top view. I have no idea how to shut that feature off and that computer is staying shut down until I do.
so.... ok. you can do porn if you want to, but don't try to hide it from your SO because that's not cool. (remember kids, as Pinkie Pie says: Sharing is Caring!)
Speaking of kids, did anyone at Microsoft even consider this consequence, especially on a common computer that children might have access to? That's the real issue. SO issues resulting from this (if any) can be worked out, but explaining such "photography" to a 7 year old can be challenging.
NOT IN FRONT OF THE CHILDREN!!!!!!!!
'd.
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And why else would we have a facility to create multiple user accounts on a personal computer? I guess our culture needs to mature a bit for people to understand that having multiple personalities use the same profile is not a good idea.
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You probably have one or more of those things in common without realizing it, if you haven't had this conversation yet.
I'unno. Women seem to have this sick fascination with penises.
I mean seriously, what normal person wants to see men in their porn? It's like having a nice, delicate creme brulee dessert, topped with whipped cream, fresh strawberries, and a Bratwurst.
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Always? Seems like a barrier to posting...
Nah, I can post just fine
Better yet, ask what they masturbate to.
That's a question you might very much regret. One of my relationships actually ended partially because of exactly that.
@Eldelshell said:
if you want to know if your SO is a liar, ask
himherif she ever masturbates
Also true.There are women who think female masturbation is disgusting. Don't ask me why, I'll never understand it (especially since they usually don't think the same about actual sex, which is way more messy). But they exist.
Filed under: Is this the official over-sharing thread?
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Well if your SO doesn't, and you're a male, you might want to consider the implications.
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Women seem to have this sick fascination with penises.
Not All Women.
Well if your SO doesn't, and you're a male, you might want to consider the implications.
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There are women who think female masturbation is disgusting
Not All Masturbation necessarily involves touching fluids. There's a trick a lot of girls pick up around puberty involving a table corner... ;)
Filed Under: Google table-kun for details
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involving a table corner
Also lots of things that aren't fingers. Well, one's own fingers.
Filed under: the inevitable purple dildo joke goes here
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There's gotta be a German word for that... Tafelbergfuking?
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Google is always a for jokes.
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Re: German language and masturbation:
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In Germany it's custom to do that sort of thing on the (Boomzilla's) lawn ...
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ceUJloDBzRM
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Not All Masturbation necessarily involves touching fluids. There's a trick a lot of girls pick up around puberty involving a table corner...
Google is Down right unhelpful, but I think I get the idea...Ios: the reply box does not follow when I scroll, so I had to scroll up like 10 Posts to reply.
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Re: German language and masturbation:
I love how it's the first hit for me when you search for
Staubsaugern
. Must be a very common problem...
Filed under: inb4 personalized search joke
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Re: German language and masturbation:
@de.wikipedia.org via Google Translate said:
The patients each had non- erect penis inserted in the eleven centimeters long intake of the vacuum cleaner to be by the airflow sexually stimulating to leave. They were, however, come into contact with the rotating fan of the device suffered multiple contusions.
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This reminds me of my favourite masturbation news story. The original page seems to been taken down but there are a few c+p about.
September 19, 2007 03:55pm
A MAN who broke into his neighbour's home west of Brisbane and used her vacuum cleaner and a detergent bottle as sex aids has avoided jail.
Jamie Thomas Lacey, 27, was high on LSD and amphetamines when he broke into the house at Millmerran in September 2004.
He pleaded guilty today in the Brisbane District Court to burglary and wilful damage.
The court was told his neighbour returned home on September 29 to find her bathroom in a total state of disarray.
Crown prosecutor Julie Aylward told the court pornographic magazines and clothes were strewn around the room, and that a makeshift sex aid constructed from a Toilet Duck bottle, a piece of wood and a latex glove had also been left behind.
The woman's vacuum cleaner had also been left in the bathroom.
Lacey's defence barrister, Shaun Gordon, argued there was no proof his client had used the vacuum cleaner as a sex aid, but Judge Tony Rafter said it was unlikely it had been used for cleaning.
"I'm sure that your client didn't hoover the carpets,'' he said.
Police attended Lacey's house just days after the incident was reported.
During the search police uncovered a black carry bag filled with condoms, gloves, creams and a tapered wooden stick.
Lacey told police it was his "masturbation bag'', but denied any knowledge of the burglary.
He was arrested in December 2006 after police finally matched his DNA to that found on the latex glove attached to the Toilet Duck bottle.
He later told police he had vague recollections of the offence, but said his memory was jumbled as he had been a heavy drug user at the time.
Mr Gordon told the court his client had since cleaned up his life and that he was now the father of a seven-month-old child.
He told the court his client had held down a good job at Kilcoy Pastoral Company for two years, and Judge Rafter agreed it would be counter-productive to send him to jail.
Judge Rafter sentenced him to 12 months' jail, which he ordered to be served in the community as an Intensive Correction Order.
I think it's the level of detail I enjoy the most.
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Judge Rafter agreed it would be counter-productive to send him to jail.
Judge Rafter sentenced him to 12 months' jail,
Someone's vindictive XD "Oh yes, I agree, jail would be quite counterproductive." "So I'm off the hook?" "Nope! Jail for you!"