The bad jokes topic 🐴🍹👨
-
wait, how am i involved in that subconversation?
-
From LR 22 ⇒ Suppressors ⇒ You.
Sometimes you just don't know what you're getting into.
-
with a throwaway line about actually good luck managing to get something useful passed by congress?
okay....
-
Seems legit to me.
-
That Congress thing was about suppressors...
-
with a throwaway line about actually good luck managing to get something useful passed by congress?
Even if they did, the President would veto it. Gonna have to wait a couple more years at least...
-
eeh. it'll take at least 12 years to get through the house and congress anyway. who knows which party will be in controll at that point and by what margin.
-
Probably the worst joke I ever saw was in an xmen comic. They were fighting someone named Legion, who apparently had godlike powers, and Bishop tries to absorb his powers, gets owned, then Legion comes out with this mind-boggling put down: “Nice Maneuver. What does the ‘M’ stand for? Moron?”
I figure either the writers were having a really hard time coming up with witty one-liners, or they put that in there to show just how deranged this Legion guy truly was.
-
They were fighting someone named Legion, who apparently had godlike powers,...
So...godlike powers, but somewhat less than godlike one-liners.
-
“Nice Maneuver. What does the ‘M’ stand for? Moron?”
Are you sure it wasn't Legion quipping about the "M" brand over Bishop's eye?
-
"I see," said the blind man, as he picked up his hammer and saw.
-
Q: You are in a room with no windows, doors or any exit. The only items are a mirror and a table. How do you escape?
A: You look at the mirror, then look at the wall. Then back in the mirror, to see what you saw. You grab the saw, and you saw the table in half to make two halves. Then you put the halves together to make a
whole. Climb out through the hole!
-
video game logic!
-
Great. Way to ruin that for me.
-
"I see," said the blind man as he pissed into the wind, "It's all coming back to me now."
-
What do you call a glass dinosaur?
[spoiler]Py-Rex[/spoiler]
-
@Yamikuronue said:
That is a beautiful four.
Some might say it's… fantastic
I'm not even sorry
-
That hurt my brain cells. In fact, the damage is so bad I feel like I should avenge them.
-
-
"Damn hothouse flowers, these kids these days. Bitching about having to walk three blocks to school. Little wimps don't know how easy they have it.
"Why, when I was in school, my parents made me walk to school eight miles, each way, along the shore of the lake. Except when it was frozen: Then they made us walk across in -30°F weather, two miles across the ice, uphill, both ways!"
(mutter...mutter...)
-
This popped up on another forum I'm active on:
Decided to sue a glue-factory after I glued myself to my seat. They threatened to take all I have, I am unmoved.
-
That was a real seat-of-your-pants joke
-
-
Why shouldn't you give Elsa a balloon?
[spoiler]She'll just Let it Go[/spoiler]
-
Caller: "My house is on fire!! Come quick!"
911: "Where are you? How do we get there?"
Caller: "Don't you guys still have those red trucks...?"
-
Just got FIFA 16 (early on the Blatter market) and I have to say it is incredibly realistic.
As soon as I put the disk it says "Game is corrupt", but after that it keeps going as usual anyway.
-
The word "efficient" should only have one f...
-
I used to love the smell of summer meadows. It took me back to playing as a kid.
Now, thanks to Glade, it lets me know when my wife has had a massive dump.
-
Bad musical joke (and true story) heard on the radio a few minutes ago:
A string quartet was preparing for a concert, and wanted to be able to focus on their music, despite any distractions that might happen, so they practiced in unusual places with lots of distractions. For example, they practiced the Bartók quartet in a bar. Why? Because there was a lot of bar talk there.
In American English, at least, "Bartók" and "bar talk" are pronounced identically.
-
Infinitely many mathematicians walk into a bar. The first one orders a beer. The second one orders half a beer. The third one orders a quarter of a beer, and so forth. The bartender pours them two beers and says, "You guys need to know your limits"
-
Braaaaaiiiiinzzzz!
What do Zombie Vegetarians say?
[spoiler]GRAAAAAAAIIIIIIINS![/spoiler]
-
What do Zombie Vegetarians say?
GRAAAAAAAIIIIIIINS!
Zombie Plumbers?
[spoiler]Draaaaaiiiiiiinnnnnnnsssss[/spoiler]
-
What about zombie bird watchers?
[spoiler]Craaaaneeees[/spoiler]
Filed under: INB4 thread gets renamed to
bad zombie jokes
-
What about zombie circus performers?
[spoiler]Flaaaaaaaaaaaaaames[/spoiler]
-
What about zombies exhibiting enthusiastic approval?
[spoiler]Acclaaaaaaaaim[/spoiler]
... concerned about the amount of sulfur dioxide and nitrogen oxides in the atmosphere?
[spoiler]Acid raaaaaaaaain.[/spoiler]
... that were investment bankers?
[spoiler]Capital gaaaaaaaains[/spoiler]
... that have just had their houses compulsorily bought by the government?
[spoiler]Eminent domaaaaaaaaains[/spoiler]
Ok - I'll stop now.
-
What about zombie pilots?
[spoiler]Plaaaaaaaaaaaaaanes[/spoiler]
Could also work for zombie carpenters.
-
Could also work for zombie carpenters.
-
-
Why are pirates always shown with a parrot on their shoulder?
[spoiler]I don't know, they just arrrrr[/spoiler]
-
Just half-heard on some shite film the other half is watching...
Confused between the difference between hardware and software? Just remember, they're the opposite of [spoiler]people; with computers the software goes into the hardware....[/spoiler]
-
-
What about zombie
circus performersblog posters?[spoiler]Flaaaaaaaaaaaaaames[/spoiler]
FTFY
-
-
-
Did you accidentally search for voltdemort?
For context:
https://thehunt.insnw.net/app/public/system/zine_images/4434973/original/c5df2af465ea37764d1f72ab5079b111.jpg
You still can't quote a post containing only an image? Had to use l33t h4x0r skillz to make the quote above. :shakesfist:
-
I didn't sleep well last night so I made my coffee this morning with Red Bull instead of water. I got half way to work before I realized I forgot my car
-
I used to be addicted to mud wrestling, but I've been clean for 4 years now.
-
Guy walks into the doctor's office:
Guy: My sex life isn't going so well.
Doc: Don't worry, we won't leave you hanging.
-
Whooshed on this. Is the guy Michael Hutchence?
-
Are you, like, not male then? And also totally unknowing of male anatomy?