:book: Teh Oﬃcial Discopædia (ﷺ, @abarker, creator and prophet of the Discopædia)
This is the Official Discopædia. Only definitions should be added to this topic. Discussion regarding this topic should be handled in Teh Official Discopædia Meta. Any non-definitions will be jeffed to that topic.
Effective 11 May 2015, All new definitions must contain a citation of a previous usage in order to be wikified and indexed as a discodefinition.
Definitions will be wikified and indexed as discodefinitions at the whim of TL4+s.
Chrome on Android
Dicsores, Dicksores, DickSores
Discourse Magic; Discomagic
Doing It Wrong™
Duplicate Thread IDs
Intellectual Property Theft
Post-Discourse Stress Disorder
(post withdrawn by author, will be automatically deleted in 24 hours unless flagged)
The Church of the Civilized Discourse Construction Kit, abbr. TCotCDCK
What the ■■■■■■■ (WT■)
What the Jeff (WTJ)
White Screen of Death abbr., WSOD
An official, unofficial alternate name for Discourse.
Dicsores, Dicksores, DickSores
Use of these alternate spellings generally indicates a greater level of frustration from the poster.
- A bug that won't be fixed because the user is Doing It Wrong™
- A bug that won't be fixed because the developers don't like the people who discovered the bug.
A person that creates and maintains code for Discourse but would never be classified by any sane developer as 'a developer'.
The title may also be given in honour to non-Discourse code authors if they share the same level of expertise and attitude.
- Set of time units used on Discourse. In some cases, this is a result of Discorounding. In other cases, it is the result of a supposedly sliding window that actually has a hard reset (e.g., likes rate limiting). In every case, it is the result of Discologic. Do not expect Discotime to match real time.
- Time measured relative to when Discourse was inflicted on this forum. Usage: a long discotime ago.
- The time which Discourse takes to apply an edit. Whether an update to the forum, editing a post, or even saving an initial post, all are discotime. Example: I was stuck in Discotime while Dicsourse saved my post.
A state of consistent inconsistency.
Thanks to @Accalia for identifying the synonyms and antonyms.
- A peculiar kind of logic which only makes sense to a Discodev, or Jeff Attwood. But mostly Jeff. Often characterized as "Jeff Doesn't Get It", or JDGI for short.
- An Illogical Logic that seems to be completely Illogical until one discovers the beautiful Logic within the Illogic, then discovers that the Logic is, in fact, BS
Something which doesn't exist.
A failure related to an activity within Discourse, typically one which is simple and should just work as expected.
- A fan of music from the 1970s, or disco music in general
- Someone who likes Discourse. See also: insanity, madness, Discourse Syndrome
@blakeyrat knows what I'm on about
Discourserability (may have alternate spellings)
Description of commonly-used features and tasks that are very difficult to locate unless you are a DiscoDev.
A mental illness, similar to Stockholm Syndrome. Symptoms include:
- Original dislike to outright hate of Discourse.
- Gradual change to acceptance
- Acceptance later replaced by actually liking Discourse.
At present, all cases of Discourse Syndrome have been associated with actual users of Discourse. It is feared that cases could occur with other WTF software.
See also: Discophile
A fundamentally broken feature due to the DiscoDevs' belief that quoting other users is unconditionally Doing It Wrong™, however this feature sees widespread use in the Real World. Hilarity ensues because the bugs-to-posts ratio involving DiscoQuotes is much greater than 1.
A non-standard form of searching which is less effective than traditional searching.
The Discourse implementation of searching which sometimes hijacks the native browser search feature based on some Discologic known only to Discodevs. This implementation also performs Discosearching.
A non-standard form of rounding numbers which is less accurate and more Discoursistent than traditional rounding
A unit of time that may range from less than one real minute to more than one real day. The actual upper limit has not yet been accurately mapped. When counting down, a Discoday will often, though not always, end at midnight UTC, even when Discourse advises otherwise.
See Also: Discotime
Thanks to @Arantor for remembering the bit about midnight UTC.
A unit of time that may range from less than one hour to more than an hour. It seems that a disco hour may be as little as 20 real minutes, or as much as 100 real minutes. Due to Discologic and Discoursitency, this relationship is subject to change without notice.
See Also: Discotime
A unit of time that may range from a few real seconds to several real minutes. No precise relationship has been determined.
See Also: Discotime
A Discourse bug.
The strained relationship between the official Discodevs and members of what.thedailywtf.com. Seen in the early days of what.thedailywtf.com, but still alive on meta.discourse.org.
UPDATED (11 Sep 2015): Discodrama culminated in DiscoGate.
An exclusionary zone that due to Discologic is meant to bring everyone together. Named after Frequent Flyer lounges that are frequented by alcoholic pilots and airport hookers and usually only visited on long layovers when you are already pissed.
See also: An area that @blakeyrat does not have access to because he is opposed to gamification, despite spending nearly every waking hour playing video games.
The Church of the Civilized Discourse Construction Kit
Group to which Discophiles, Discodevs, and those who suffer from Discourse Syndrome belong. Those truly committed to Discourse will try to convince others that Discourse is the one true forum software, and will likely refer to Jeff Attwood as a prophet. Those who associate with TCotCDCK will gloss over Jeff's inability to follow his own words by stating that he can do no wrong. When asked if we must follow Jeff's words or his actions, a TCotCDCK zealot will tell you that Jeff's words will lead you to happiness.
Avoid at all costs.
Feature imagined by his holy greatness Jeff.
Whatever Jeff is on when he thinks of his feature changes for Discourse.
A state of being so overwhelmed by Discobugs, that you begin to not even notice them anymore. This condition may be a precursor to Discourse Syndrome.
If you suspect you may be experiencing Bug Blindness, please seek help immediately. There is still hope.
Posting a comment.
Unpaid work done to improve software that is open-source in name only. Basically slave labor to help line Jeff Atwood's pockets as it improves his software. Most bug reports will be closed as WONTFIX or ASDESIGNED, or just deleted without comment. Filing too many bug reports may get you banned from meta.d. Too many bug reports will be seen as complaining, even though the software is shit.
No definition found in the Discopædia. You must be Doing It Wrong™.
Useless graphic on the right of browser windows that has no meaningful connection to anything whatsoever. Just a random graphic that changes size and position as you navigate through Infiniscroll wonderfulness. Forget everything you have ever known about its function.
Some worthless, piece of shit, mobile OS invented by Google solely to make things harder for the Discodevs. What's that? You say Discourse works fine on your Android device? Shut up. You're obviously Doing It Wrong™. Or lying. Even Jeff's old Nexus 7 agrees with me.
Shortened colloquial form of meta.discourse.org that is the definitive source for gamification and social engineering re: forum software. Also, the perfect iteration of bug tracking software. It is where you go if you want to see how Web 42.0 is going to be. So far ahead of its time that mere mortals will have difficulty understanding what they are on about.
"Abandon all hope ye who enter here"
Related definitions in normal dictionaries: taking the piss, self-reinforcing motivation, echo chamber, fool's errand, etc.
Pop-up social engineering dialogs that show you how to Do It Right or shame you when you are Doing It Wrong. Specifically engineered to prevent topics like this where one user might foolishly attempt to make several distinct posts instead of lumping everything in to one post. They also try to prevent user participation when someone has a lot to say on a topic by making them feel like they are talking too much.
Term was originally coined by @blakeyrat, who to this day insists he did not come up with it and that it is a "stupid fucking term" that someone like him would never use.
Color coding intended to convey additional information about a list of items. Supposedly, items which have a Heatmap applied progress from a neutral color to red, to a dark orange, and finally to a bright orange. The Heatmap is supposed to draw your attention by indicating and increase in ... something which is generally not immediately visible. It's supposed to to be good. Also, Heatmaps are, according to the Discodevs, obvious.
See Also: Coldmap
That was Jeff's idea, not yours.
noun, website, Discourse-forum
A place where Bugs are discovered, tears are being had and blakeyrat is going rampant!
Also a place nobody on meta.d is allowed to link to.
As of 11 October 2015, WTDWTF is no longer recognized by the DiscoDevs as an official Discourse install.
Color coding intended to convey additional information about a list of items. Supposedly, items which have a Coldmap applied progress from a neutral color to a dark blue, to a paler blue, and finally to a really pale blue. The Coldmap is supposed to draw your attention in a KEEP AWAY fashion by indicating a decrease in ... something which is generally not immediately visible. It's supposed to to be bad. Also, Coldmaps are, according to the Discodevs, obvious.
See Also: Heatmap
As with ™, Ⓡ indicates an idea that was Jeff's and not yours. However, Jeff started to register that idea, and then forgot about it. As a result, the registration is invalid, and Jeff's use of Ⓡ may constitute fraud. It could also invalidate his claim to the idea.
Please consult @apapadimoulis,Esq, MD, FACS, MBA, eMBA before using an idea marked with ® as your own.
Frequent poster to what.tdwtf. Known for his frequent fits of rage referred to as "blakeyrants" where he drones on and on and on about topics such as, but not limited to: how the Mac Classic was the greatest piece of computing hardware to ever be conceived, how games he does not like are shit, how open source software is complete shit and always will be, how he hates Like buttons, how C# is the greatest computer language ever conceived of by man (this view is somehow not incompatible with his view on the Mac Classic), why anyone who uses PHP is a fucking moron, HyperCard was the right way to program even though the rest of the world thought it was slow and retarded, etc. Most blakeyrants tend to be about how his personal worldviews should be canon. Very prone to rage quits. Long overdue for a rage quit. Always returns after a rage quit without even acknowledging that he has been gone and that his quitting made him look like a complete bellend.
Almost always the amount of days since last bug in Discourse.
See also: Bug, Null
Not a Number
Almost always the last day without a bug in Discourse.
See also: Bug, Zero
Intellectual Property Theft
No definition found in Discopædia.
See instead: local server caching
serial PHP abuser
Frequent poster to what.tdwtf. Known for abusing PHP, for liking PHP, and for admitting to being TRWTF on many occasions. In @blakeyrat's view, a fucking moron.
A fictional character of front page stories by Erik Gern. Hanzo appears to be an alias of one Hanz M., an IT specialist for Hesse University’s Dresden campus. The introduction to his stories goes something like this:
Like a ninja in the night, Hanz M., AKA Hanzo, stalks across Hesse University’s Dresden campus. The go-to man in the IT department, he fixes the messes that others leave behind. These are his stories.
Present Tense: Hanzoing
Past Tense: Hanzoed, alt: Hanzo'd
- To beat another user to posting something.
- To edit a post soon enough after posting that the edit pencil doesn't appear. Also known as a Ninja Edit.
- A derrière with a lot of bling. Having a lot of shiny stuff in the trunk.
- A totally ridiculous embellishment hiding a stinking bug. Mostly there to cover a design failure.
An epidemic of Discourse Syndrome. Also known as DiscoBola.
See Also: Discourse Syndrome
Doing It Wrong
- To do something in a way other than the way Jeff would do it.
- To do something that Jeff wouldn't do.