The Official Funny Stuff Thread™
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@BernieTheBernie My dad used to get paid that way, 13 4 week 'months'. Every 7 years they had a 'week 53' iirc to get the calendar lined up again. Most companies here will pay you, and charge you, on calendar months though.
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@topspin said in The Official Funny Stuff Thread™:
@Zecc said in The Official Funny Stuff Thread™:
Next up in the mythical man month, how many women do you need to deliver a baby in one month?
It might be a matter of reframing the question. Pregnancy is a highly parallelizable task, so if what you want isn't a baby in a month's time but 9 babies after 9 months then 9 women would be a good approach
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@Jaloopa said in The Official Funny Stuff Thread™:
@topspin said in The Official Funny Stuff Thread™:
@Zecc said in The Official Funny Stuff Thread™:
Next up in the mythical man month, how many women do you need to deliver a baby in one month?
It might be a matter of reframing the question. Pregnancy is a highly parallelizable task, so if what you want isn't a baby in a month's time but 9 babies after 9 months then 9 women would be a good approach
We call that "latency vs. bandwidth".
Or maybe I should change that to "the mythical parallel program", where you throw increasingly more cores at a single-threaded problem hoping it will become faster.
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@bobjanova said in The Official Funny Stuff Thread™:
@BernieTheBernie My dad used to get paid that way, 13 4 week 'months'. Every 7 years they had a 'week 53' iirc to get the calendar lined up again. Most companies here will pay you, and charge you, on calendar months though.
I get paid every two weeks. I can't think of a regular payment I make that isn't due on the same day of the month every month, though.
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@boomzilla I get paid every half a month (which is not the same as every 2 weeks). Coming from Poland, it's quite fascinating how irregular the pay periods are in USA.
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I get paid whenever the last digit of the epoch-day indicates a corresponding digit position between pi and phi. But Hebrew Nationals come 7 to a package.
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@Gąska said in The Official Funny Stuff Thread™:
@boomzilla I get paid every half a month (which is not the same as every 2 weeks). Coming from Poland, it's quite fascinating how irregular the pay periods are in USA.
My current and last job both paid twice a month. Which isn't either half a month or every two weeks. This ones on the 5th and 20th (or the previous working day if that's a holiday or weekend).
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@Benjamin-Hall said in The Official Funny Stuff Thread™:
@Gąska said in The Official Funny Stuff Thread™:
@boomzilla I get paid every half a month (which is not the same as every 2 weeks). Coming from Poland, it's quite fascinating how irregular the pay periods are in USA.
My current and last job both paid twice a month. Which isn't either half a month or every two weeks. This ones on the 5th and 20th (or the previous working day if that's a holiday or weekend).
One place I worked was the 15th and last day of the month. (I'm currently on the every 2 week plan.)
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@dcon said in The Official Funny Stuff Thread™:
@Benjamin-Hall said in The Official Funny Stuff Thread™:
@Gąska said in The Official Funny Stuff Thread™:
@boomzilla I get paid every half a month (which is not the same as every 2 weeks). Coming from Poland, it's quite fascinating how irregular the pay periods are in USA.
My current and last job both paid twice a month. Which isn't either half a month or every two weeks. This ones on the 5th and 20th (or the previous working day if that's a holiday or weekend).
One place I worked was the 15th and last day of the month. (I'm currently on the every 2 week plan.)
Yeah, that was the previous job as well.
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@dcon said in The Official Funny Stuff Thread™:
@Benjamin-Hall said in The Official Funny Stuff Thread™:
@Gąska said in The Official Funny Stuff Thread™:
@boomzilla I get paid every half a month (which is not the same as every 2 weeks). Coming from Poland, it's quite fascinating how irregular the pay periods are in USA.
My current and last job both paid twice a month. Which isn't either half a month or every two weeks. This ones on the 5th and 20th (or the previous working day if that's a holiday or weekend).
One place I worked was the 15th and last day of the month. (I'm currently on the every 2 week plan.)
I've been on both of those plans at various jobs. Most contracting seems to be weekly. One I've never had is monthly; that seems to be rare in the private sector, at least in tech.
Filed under: Another not-funny derailment in the Funny Stuff thread
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@boomzilla said in The Official Funny Stuff Thread™:
I can't think of a regular payment I make that isn't due on the same day of the month every month, though.
Off-hand, I think cell and maybe some other utilities (if not currently, then previous places I've lived) bill on a 30-day "monthly" cycle.
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@HardwareGeek said in The Official Funny Stuff Thread™:
One I've never had is monthly
I have. But not in a very long time. It really sucked.
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@HardwareGeek said in The Official Funny Stuff Thread™:
One I've never had is monthly; that seems to be rare in the private sector, at least in tech.
I've been paid monthly my entire career.
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@Gąska said in The Official Funny Stuff Thread™:
it's quite fascinating how irregular the pay periods are in USA.
*blinks* Apparently "every 2 weeks" is not logically a mathematically regular period. Who knew?
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@Tsaukpaetra "two weeks" often means "every even-numbered week of the year, plus some kind of compensation for missing out on week 53". So not quite regular. Also, I thought it's obvious I meant that the pay period is irregular from job to job. Compare to Poland, where virtually everyone - be it a construction worker, a waiter, a cashier, a corporate manager, a telemarketer, or a programmer - is on a monthly pay period, and the pay day is almost always the 10th day of the month.
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@Gąska Ah, that's a feature of free-market (inspired) economies.
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@Gąska said in The Official Funny Stuff Thread™:
Also, I thought it's obvious I meant that the pay period is irregular from job to job.
No. And I was going to comment that the period defined as "every half a month" was mysteriously more regular than "every two weeks".
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@Gąska said in The Official Funny Stuff Thread™:
"two weeks" often means "every even-numbered week of the year, plus some kind of compensation for missing out on week 53"
I've never seen that... It's always just been every other week completely ignoring EOY
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@dcon said in The Official Funny Stuff Thread™:
@Gąska said in The Official Funny Stuff Thread™:
"two weeks" often means "every even-numbered week of the year, plus some kind of compensation for missing out on week 53"
I've never seen that... It's always just been every other week completely ignoring EOY
Another perfect example of irregularity! Isn't shit fun?
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@Gribnit said in The Official Funny Stuff Thread™:
@GOG said in The Official Funny Stuff Thread™:
@hungrier My calendar doesn't have 14 months in it, thank you very much.
Then your calendar is 2 months less good than one that does. Get a better calendar.
Pffff...2020 had like 40 months.
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@dkf said in The Official Funny Stuff Thread™:
@BernieTheBernie said in The Official Funny Stuff Thread™:
But I guess, in this special case, he would not be tricked.
I believe some employers work like that. Not that it gives you any more overall per year.
I get paid every two weeks, my husband gets paid twice a month.
Two months a year I have a more money and that extra payment doesn't have the transit deduction because that is deducted from my paycheck twice a month.
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@HardwareGeek said in The Official Funny Stuff Thread™:
@dcon said in The Official Funny Stuff Thread™:
@Benjamin-Hall said in The Official Funny Stuff Thread™:
@Gąska said in The Official Funny Stuff Thread™:
@boomzilla I get paid every half a month (which is not the same as every 2 weeks). Coming from Poland, it's quite fascinating how irregular the pay periods are in USA.
My current and last job both paid twice a month. Which isn't either half a month or every two weeks. This ones on the 5th and 20th (or the previous working day if that's a holiday or weekend).
One place I worked was the 15th and last day of the month. (I'm currently on the every 2 week plan.)
I've been on both of those plans at various jobs. Most contracting seems to be weekly. One I've never had is monthly; that seems to be rare in the private sector, at least in tech.
Filed under: Another not-funny derailment in the Funny Stuff thread
I got paid monthly when I worked for a remote company while I was pregnant and a couple months after.
The transition was challenging from every two weeks to once a month. Depending on the timing, I could be a significant time without income.
Much easier to go the other way.
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@HardwareGeek said in The Official Funny Stuff Thread™:
I've been on both of those plans at various jobs. Most contracting seems to be weekly. One I've never had is monthly; that seems to be rare in the private sector, at least in tech.
My job (full-time, private sector) pays monthly
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Filed under: Emergency funny injection
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@kazitor said in The Official Funny Stuff Thread™:
Filed under: Emergency funny injection
THANK YOU!
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@kazitor You don't find the bullshit that Americans have to put up with funny?
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@Gąska said in The Official Funny Stuff Thread™:
@kazitor You don't find the bullshit that Americans have to put up with funny?
I find it more sad than funny. Just not enough schadenfreude.
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@Karla said in The Official Funny Stuff Thread™:
I got paid monthly when I worked for a remote company while I was pregnant and a couple months after.
What kind of remotes did they make?
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@Karla said in The Official Funny Stuff Thread™:
Much easier to go the other way.
Depends. Most of my regular bills come out in the first few days of the month. If I'd only got half of my normal amount at the end of the previous month that would make it a tricky couple of weeks, followed by two weeks of surplus
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@Zecc said in The Official Funny Stuff Thread™:
@Karla said in The Official Funny Stuff Thread™:
I got paid monthly when I worked for a remote company while I was pregnant and a couple months after.
What kind of remotes did they make?
git remotes!
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@dkf said in The Official Funny Stuff Thread™:
@HardwareGeek said in The Official Funny Stuff Thread™:
One I've never had is monthly; that seems to be rare in the private sector, at least in tech.
I've been paid monthly my entire career.
In two of my previous jobs, I was paid every 4 weeks, which meant my payday was usually on a different day of each month, and also meant I was paid 13 times per year. It was weird and annoying.
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This comment could go in the puns thread, but
I hope they've taken measures to avoid a re-pete of this incident.
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@Tsaukpaetra said in The Official Funny Stuff Thread™:
@Gąska said in The Official Funny Stuff Thread™:
@kazitor You don't find the bullshit that Americans have to put up with funny?
I find it more sad than funny. Just not enough schadenfreude.
Funny and sad are pretty much the same thing, admit it.
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@Tsaukpaetra yeah, I keep some of those in my travel bag in case I find fun stuff to put eyes on while I'm on vacay.
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@HardwareGeek another tweet from same account:
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@Jaloopa said in The Official Funny Stuff Thread™:
@Karla said in The Official Funny Stuff Thread™:
Much easier to go the other way.
Depends. Most of my regular bills come out in the first few days of the month. If I'd only got half of my normal amount at the end of the previous month that would make it a tricky couple of weeks, followed by two weeks of surplus
I resolved the good two weeks/bad two weeks by paying half of my rent on each paycheck.
And twice a year, I can skip one of those payments.
This way I never really have to think about it.
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@Karla said in The Official Funny Stuff Thread™:
@Jaloopa said in The Official Funny Stuff Thread™:
@Karla said in The Official Funny Stuff Thread™:
Much easier to go the other way.
Depends. Most of my regular bills come out in the first few days of the month. If I'd only got half of my normal amount at the end of the previous month that would make it a tricky couple of weeks, followed by two weeks of surplus
I resolved the good two weeks/bad two weeks by paying half of my rent on each paycheck.
And twice a year, I can skip one of those payments.
This way I never really have to think about it.
Another way is to make enough not to live paycheck to paycheck.
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@Zecc said in The Official Funny Stuff Thread™:
@Karla said in The Official Funny Stuff Thread™:
I got paid monthly when I worked for a remote company while I was pregnant and a couple months after.
What kind of remotes did they make?
training
INB4:
It was the funniest thing I could think of to respond.
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@dkf said in The Official Funny Stuff Thread™:
@Zecc said in The Official Funny Stuff Thread™:
@Karla said in The Official Funny Stuff Thread™:
I got paid monthly when I worked for a remote company while I was pregnant and a couple months after.
What kind of remotes did they make?
git remotes!
There was no source control.
~Cries in code.~
Part of the reason I left.
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@Gribnit said in The Official Funny Stuff Thread™:
@Karla said in The Official Funny Stuff Thread™:
@Jaloopa said in The Official Funny Stuff Thread™:
@Karla said in The Official Funny Stuff Thread™:
Much easier to go the other way.
Depends. Most of my regular bills come out in the first few days of the month. If I'd only got half of my normal amount at the end of the previous month that would make it a tricky couple of weeks, followed by two weeks of surplus
I resolved the good two weeks/bad two weeks by paying half of my rent on each paycheck.
And twice a year, I can skip one of those payments.
This way I never really have to think about it.
Another way is to make enough not to live paycheck to paycheck.
Sure is.
I live in NYC in a pretend 3-BR/1-bath and have 4 kids living at home.
We started our marriage at least $50K in the hole due to his divorce (even if you win you lose because of lawyers) and continued custody bullshit because his ex is lazy and entitled (she also got a free lawyer).
I can only change what I can control and a lot of the last 20 years was not in my control (other than leaving which was on the table at some point).
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@Karla said in The Official Funny Stuff Thread™:
@Gribnit said in The Official Funny Stuff Thread™:
@Karla said in The Official Funny Stuff Thread™:
@Jaloopa said in The Official Funny Stuff Thread™:
@Karla said in The Official Funny Stuff Thread™:
Much easier to go the other way.
Depends. Most of my regular bills come out in the first few days of the month. If I'd only got half of my normal amount at the end of the previous month that would make it a tricky couple of weeks, followed by two weeks of surplus
I resolved the good two weeks/bad two weeks by paying half of my rent on each paycheck.
And twice a year, I can skip one of those payments.
This way I never really have to think about it.
Another way is to make enough not to live paycheck to paycheck.
Sure is.
I live in NYC in a pretend 3-BR/1-bath and have 4 kids living at home.
We started our marriage at least $50K in the hole due to his divorce (even if you win you lose because of lawyers) and continued custody bullshit because his ex is lazy and entitled (she also got a free lawyer).
I can only change what I can control and a lot of the last 20 years was not in my control (other than leaving which was on the table at some point).
Yeah, I just wanted to make you sad. I hear bars are opening back up.
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@Gribnit said in The Official Funny Stuff Thread™:
@Karla said in The Official Funny Stuff Thread™:
@Gribnit said in The Official Funny Stuff Thread™:
@Karla said in The Official Funny Stuff Thread™:
@Jaloopa said in The Official Funny Stuff Thread™:
@Karla said in The Official Funny Stuff Thread™:
Much easier to go the other way.
Depends. Most of my regular bills come out in the first few days of the month. If I'd only got half of my normal amount at the end of the previous month that would make it a tricky couple of weeks, followed by two weeks of surplus
I resolved the good two weeks/bad two weeks by paying half of my rent on each paycheck.
And twice a year, I can skip one of those payments.
This way I never really have to think about it.
Another way is to make enough not to live paycheck to paycheck.
Sure is.
I live in NYC in a pretend 3-BR/1-bath and have 4 kids living at home.
We started our marriage at least $50K in the hole due to his divorce (even if you win you lose because of lawyers) and continued custody bullshit because his ex is lazy and entitled (she also got a free lawyer).
I can only change what I can control and a lot of the last 20 years was not in my control (other than leaving which was on the table at some point).
Yeah, I just wanted to make you sad. I hear bars are opening back up.
Hey, compose your own music!