The Official Funny Stuff Thread™
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I think if he reads the fine print, he'd find out they promised him "up to 150 Mbps." I'm sure they would proudly confirm that 2 Mbps meets their contractual obligations and that he's getting "...everything he paid for.".
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Old guy doesn't give a fuck:
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I think if he reads the fine print, he'd find out they promised him "up to 150 Mbps."
I just hope they didn't promise “up to 150 Mbps, or more!” While trivially true (except for the unlikely case where they hit exactly the headline rate) I still utterly hate that linguistic construct.
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The sign behind it says 'NO MORE MALE & FEMALE -'
I bet it'd be funny too.
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no onebox?
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[spoiler][/spoiler]
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I like how the dad just leds go of the chair to make sure the kid gets all the blame.
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http://justsomething.co/wp-content/uploads/2014/08/advertising-placement-fails-13.jpg
Apparently, my ad blocker blocked advertising-placement-fails-13.jpg:
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Same here. I posted it from mobile and saw that it was fine, later when someone replied to the thread I was on a PC, and saw my post was blank - I was kind of surprised but, you know, when in doubt - blame Discourse, so that's what I did at first.
Only some time later, when visiting the thread again, I decided to check the raw of my post and the filename was a sufficient clue to find the problem.
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They came from all quarters, the four Regents of the GOP, come down from Capitol Hill: the Bush Clan advanced, all in gold, mounted on yellow horses, bearing shields that blazed with golden light; Cruz, the Angel of the South came on, followed by his hosts, the Tea Party Delegation, mounted upon blue steeds and bearing shields each with the insignia of a dismembered serpent; from the East rode Little Marco, whose horsemen carried shields bearing an orange tree insignia; and from the Midwest there came Kasich, whose Establishment Delegation were clad all in green and held before them shields each bearing an elaborate dollar sign insignia wrought of silver and gold. Their hooves did not appear to touch the grasses, and the only sound in the air was the music, which grew louder.
"Why do the Regents of the GOP approach?" Trump found himself saying.
"They come to bear my bones away," replied Cruz, still smiling.
The four Regents drew rein, their hordes at their backs, and Trump faced them.
"You come to bear his bones away," said Trump, "but who will come for yours?"
The Regents dismounted.
"You may not have this man, oh Trump," said the Regent of the Bush Clan, "for he belongs to the Party, and we of the Party will defend him."
"Hear me, Regents who dwell upon Capitol Hill," said Trump, taking his Aspect upon him. "Into your hands is given the keeping of the Party, but Trump takes whom he will from out the Party, and whenever he chooses. It is not given to you to dispute my Attributes, or the ways of their working."
The four Regents moved to a position between Trump and Cruz.
"We do dispute your way with this one. Lord Trump. For in his hands he holds the destiny of our Party. You may touch him only after having overthrown the four Powers."
"So be it," said Trump. "Which among you will be first to oppose me?"
"I will," said Jeb!, drawing the Sword of Chang.
Trump, his Aspect upon him, sheared through the soft metal like butter and laid the flat of his scimitar along Jeb!'s head, sending him sprawling upon the ground.
A great cry came up from the ranks of the Bush Clan, and two of the golden horsemen came forward to bear away their leader. Then they turned their mounts and rode back towards Kennebunkport.
"Who is next?"
Little Marco came before him, bearing a straight blade of silver and a net woven of moonbeams. "I," he said, and he cast with the net.
Trump set his foot upon it, caught it in his fingers, jerked the other off balance. As Rubio stumbled forward, he reversed his blade and struck him in the jaw with its pommel.Two silver warriors glared at him, then dropped their eyes, as they bore their Master away to the East, a discordant music trailing in their wake.
"Next!" said Trump.
Then there came before him the burly Regent of the Midwest, who threw down his weapons and stripped off his tunic, saying, "I will wrestle with you, Trump."
Trump laid his weapons aside and removed his upper garments.
All the while this was happening, Cruz sat in the shade of the great tree, smiling, as though the passage of arms meant nothing to him.
Kasich caught Trump behind the neck with his left hand, pulling his head forward. Trump did the same to him; and the other did then twist his body, casting his right arm over Trump's left shoulder and behind his neck, locking it then tight about his head, which he now drew down hard against his hip, turning his body as he dragged the other forward.
Reaching up behind the Kasich's back, Trump caught his left shoulder in his left hand and then moved his right hand behind the Regent's knees, so that he lifted both his legs off the ground while drawing back upon his shoulder.
For a moment he held this one cradled in his arms like a child, then raised him up to shoulder level and dropped away his arms.
When the Regent struck the ground, Trump fell upon him with his knees and rose again. The other did not.When the riders of the Midwest had departed, only the Angel of the South, clad all in blue, stood before Trump.
"And you?" asked Trump, raising his weapons again.
"I will not take up weapons of steel or leather or stone, as a child takes up toys, to face you, Trump. Nor will I match the strength of my body against yours, nor will I oppose you with cell phoones and Tweets" said Cruz. "I know I will be bested if I do these things, for none may dispute you with arms or social media."
"Then climb back upon your blue stallion and ride away," said Trump, "if you will not fight."
Cruz did not answer, but cast his blue shield into the air, so that pieces of the serpent spun and became a continuous circle, growing larger and larger as it hung above them.
Then it fell to the ground and began to sink into it, without a sound, still growing as it vanished from sight, the grasses coming together again above the spot where it had struck. A slimy ooze arose at the site. From its center arose a massive and ancient looking tree.
"And what does that signify?" asked Trump.
"I do not actively contest. I merely poach delegates. Mine is the power of passive opposition. Mine is the power of trolling, as yours is the power of destruction. While you can destroy anything I send against you, you cannot destroy everything, oh Trump. Mine is the power of the shield, but not the sword. My slime will oppose you, Lord Trump, to defend your victim."
The Blue One turned then, mounted his blue steed and rode into the South, the Tea Partiers at his back. The sound of the music did not go with him, but remained in the air he had occupied.
Trump shrugged and advanced once more, his blade in his hand. "Their efforts came to naught," he said. "Your time is come."
He struck forward with his blade.The blow did not land, however, as a slimy tentacle arose from the ooze between them and struck the scimitar from his grasp. He reached for it but the slimy tentacle quickly pulled the weapon beneath the surface of the ooze where it could be seen no more.
Cursing, he reached for his cell phone as to release a mighty and terrible Tweet.
A huge tentacle arose from the ooze, came swaying before his target, and knocked the phone from his grasp. Then it disappeared into the dark pool carrying Trump's phone far into its vasty depths.
Cruz's eyes were closed in meditation and his halo glowed in the shadows.
Trump took a step forward, raising his hands, and ooze rose about his ankles, holding him where he stood.
He struggled for a moment, trying to pull himself free. Then he stopped and raised both hands high, throwing his head far back, death leaping from his eyes."Hear me, oh Powers of the RNC!" he cried. "From this moment forward, this Party shall bear the curse of Trump! No living thing shall ever stir again upon this ground! No bird shall sing, nor snake slither here! It shall be barren and stark, a place of rocks and shifting sand! Not a spear of grass shall ever be upraised from here against the sky! I speak this curse and lay this doom upon the defenders of my enemy!"
The dark pool of ooze began to recede, but before it had released him there came a great splintering, cracking noise, as the tree whose roots held together the GOP and in whose branches the delegates were caught, as fish in a net, swayed forward, splitting down its middle, its uppermost limbs tearing apart the sky, its roots opening chasms in the ground, its leaves falling like blue-green rain about him. A massive section of its trunk toppled toward him, casting before it a shadow dark as night.
In the distance, he still saw Cruz, seated in meditation, as though unaware of the chaos that erupted about him.
Then there was only blackness and a sound like the crashing of thunder.
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I bet that would be hilarious if I had the time to devote to reading the wall of text.
But I don't.
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I'd take that bet, actually.
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http://www.wbir.com/news/boombox-triggers-airplane-brawl/76265669
Prior to landing, two customers who appeared to be intoxicated, were playing loud music on a boom box speaker. Several other customers asked them if they could turn down their music. The first two ladies refused to do so and stated "What are you going to do?" Then to provoke the other customer they were holding up their boom box in the air waving it around. This prompted the second group of customer to approach the first group and a fight broke out.
If you are playing a goddamned boombox on an airplane...you deserve every ass-beating that you get.
Amusingly, even though a fight broke out on an airplane, reports so far say that no one was charged. I wonder if the cops just thought to themselves, "I would have beat her ass also." and let it slide?
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I am less than impressed by the grammar skill of the Spirit Airlines spokesperson who wrote that statement. Also, it's pretty safe to say that nobody involved in the incident can accurately be described as a lady.
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Indeed. I mean, there is the "justifiable homicide" as a defense, so there surely is something like a "justifiable battery"?
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so there surely is something like a "justifiable battery"?
In the case of someone playing a boombox on an airplane there should be.
Same goes for assholes who take off their socks and shoes. They also need beaten with a rusty chain.
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Same goes for assholes who take off their socks and shoes. They also need beaten with a rusty chain.
Naw, if they need to air those things so badly then you simply provide the needed air for them. Simply throw them out of the airlock.
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They don't generally build airlocks into jetliners.
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They should.
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The first two ladies refused to do so and stated "What are you going to do?"
"I'm gonna go all Spock on you."
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But, sadly, the ending is wrong...
Then there was only blackness and a sound like the crashing of thunder; and delegates fell upon the Trump like drops of rain. For the Cruz had miscalculated and the act of felling the tree upon the Trump had given him all the delegates needed. He smiled, primped his hair into place, and made a certain sign in the direction of the oblivious Cruz. "No one wins against the Trump," he whispered.
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@boomzilla played Undertale?!
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I have no idea what Undertale is.
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Not what I would call the best spawn point in the world..
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Taken from Sinfest
Filed under: Might need to start a pun thread. Oh wait, that's pretty much everywhere here.
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I found @Lorne_Kates tumblr.
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However, 19-year-old Rusty Shackleford of Lombard, in line to attend the
Trump rally, said he was there to "support the man who wants to make
America great again."Rusty Shackleford? BWAHAHAHAAA!!!
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Wow. Looks like he's gonna whip that right into shape.
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