The Official Funny Stuff Thread™
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@Gąska said in The Official Funny Stuff Thread™:
Posts should contain at least 2 character(s)
But there were 3, not even counting the narrator. Or are deer not considered characters?
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@obeselymorbid how much character do you expect from a porn video?
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@Gąska said in The Official Funny Stuff Thread™:
@obeselymorbid how much character do you expect from a porn video?
Paraphrasing NodeBB, Porn should contain at least 2 character(s).
Solo videos are too boring for my taste.
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@Zecc said in The Official Funny Stuff Thread™:
I couldn't find the original in the author's site, but here's a couple of others:
And a link to the Instagramp: https://www.instagram.com/jeroom.inc/
I'm pretty sure Jeroom has been posted here in this forum before.
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A young woman walks into a Chartered Accountant’s Office and tells him that she needs to file her Tax Returns.
The Accountant says, “Before we begin, I’ll need to ask you a few questions.”
He gets her Name, Address etc and then asks, "What’s your occupation ?”
“I’m a Prostitute,” she says.
The Accountant is taken aback and says, “That's too gross. Let’s try to re-phrase that."
The woman says, “OK, I’m a high-end call girl”.
“No, that still won’t work. Need something more acceptable."
They both think for a minute ; then the woman says, “I’m an elite poultry farmer.”
The Accountant asks, “What does poultry farming have to do, with being a prostitute ?”
“Well, I raised a thousand cocks last year.”
Chartered Accountant : “Brilliant ! ! Poultry Farmer" it is !!! And Agricultural Income is tax free !"
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@DogsB said in The Official Funny Stuff Thread™:
A young woman walks into a Chartered Accountant’s Office and tells him that she needs to file her Tax Returns.
The Accountant says, “Before we begin, I’ll need to ask you a few questions.”
He gets her Name, Address etc and then asks, "What’s your occupation ?”
“I’m a Prostitute,” she says.
The Accountant is taken aback and says, “That's too gross. Let’s try to re-phrase that."
The woman says, “OK, I’m a high-end call girl”.
“No, that still won’t work. Need something more acceptable."
They both think for a minute ; then the woman says, “I’m an elite poultry farmer.”
The Accountant asks, “What does poultry farming have to do, with being a prostitute ?”
“Well, I raised a thousand cocks last year.”
Chartered Accountant : “Brilliant ! ! Poultry Farmer" it is !!! And Agricultural Income is tax free !"
Though her address would probably give it away.
Jane Smith
Corner of Main and South streets
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@Zecc said in The Official Funny Stuff Thread™:
I'm pretty sure Jeroom has been posted here in this forum before.
Now there's an extra funny B*****n...
I think we've definitely seen this one before:
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@boomzilla said in The Official Funny Stuff Thread™:
@da-Doctah said in The Official Funny Stuff Thread™:
@Zecc Two kinds of TIL here. The ones who don't know the ones from the Scream movies, and the ones who don't realize that those movies were parodying a commercial that was playing around that time.
Third kind: the ones who don't know that Scary Movies were parodying the Scream movies.
Fourth kind: the ones who've never seen any of the above.
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@DogsB I wondered what the slant will be in that joke
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@BernieTheBernie said in The Official Funny Stuff Thread™:
"Color does not matter at all. They all taste like chimps."
Isn't it more like "the color means fuck all, they all taste like chimps"?
Not that it changes much.
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@Applied-Mediocrity said in The Official Funny Stuff Thread™:
@DogsB I wondered what the slant will be in that joke
Did you just talk about slant in italics? That's a bold move.
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@Zecc said in The Official Funny Stuff Thread™:
@Applied-Mediocrity said in The Official Funny Stuff Thread™:
@DogsB I wondered what the slant will be in that joke
Did you just talk about slant in italics? That's a bold move.
I would like to underline that I didn't mean to capitalize on any style of humor that could not be justified here.
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@Applied-Mediocrity said in The Official Funny Stuff Thread™:
@Zecc said in The Official Funny Stuff Thread™:
@Applied-Mediocrity said in The Official Funny Stuff Thread™:
@DogsB I wondered what the slant will be in that joke
Did you just talk about slant in italics? That's a bold move.
I would like to underline that I didn't mean to capitalize on any style of humor that could not be justified here.
Something lead me to believe you're obliquely hinting at typography here. Not to be too diacritical, it is sort of funny. Different strokes for different … em, families.
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@LaoC said in The Official Funny Stuff Thread™:
Something lead me to believe you're obliquely hinting at typography here.
:surprised-Pica-chu:
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@Carnage said in The Official Funny Stuff Thread™:
Isn't it more like "the color means fuck all, they all taste like chimps"?
Not that it changes much.Hm "ist egal" means "does not matter", or if you try to stick closer to sentence structrure "is irrelevant". You correctly saw that "egal" is prefixed with "scheiß(e)" which denotes fecal matter, used as a swear word, and thus could be translated with "fuck". That makes then "Color is fucking irrelevant".
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@boomzilla I heard that one but with a Tool solo.
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@BernieTheBernie said in The Official Funny Stuff Thread™:
@Carnage said in The Official Funny Stuff Thread™:
Isn't it more like "the color means fuck all, they all taste like chimps"?
Not that it changes much.Hm "ist egal" means "does not matter", or if you try to stick closer to sentence structrure "is irrelevant". You correctly saw that "egal" is prefixed with "scheiß(e)" which denotes fecal matter, used as a swear word, and thus could be translated with "fuck". That makes then "Color is fucking irrelevant".
Perhaps better, "don't mean shit."
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@LaoC I'm kerning for some space between these type o'graphical puns.
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@Zecc said in The Official Funny Stuff Thread™:
a Tool solo.
I object! Those only last a month and I'm in lockdown for 4 songs and two interludes. Just 6 more months to finish the album.
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@Luhmann said in The Official Funny Stuff Thread™:
@Zecc said in The Official Funny Stuff Thread™:
a Tool solo.
I object! Those only last a month and I'm in lockdown for 4 songs and two interludes. Just 6 more months to finish the album.
Now listen to some Fauna.
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Okay, here's an 18+ joke for you guys. NSFW, obviously!
19
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So, I'm watching phasmophobia on twitch, and the person is playing the game, in the trailer, watching the monitor to see their teammates.
I suddenly realized that I'm watching a monitor, showing a girl watching a monitor, watching a virtual character, watching a monitor, watching a virtual character, that represents a real person playing the game.
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@xaade So, does this earn the "Yo, we put an X in your X so you can X while you X" or the "We need to go deeper" meme?
I'm confused.
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@error_bot xkcd Dwarf Fortress
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https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iQFITo_LkN8
It's a bit long but seriously, I can see why the guy lost his mind... (you can begin at ~5:00 if you want to get to the pertinent part)
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@LaoC said in The Official Funny Stuff Thread™:
@Applied-Mediocrity said in The Official Funny Stuff Thread™:
@Zecc said in The Official Funny Stuff Thread™:
@Applied-Mediocrity said in The Official Funny Stuff Thread™:@DogsB I wondered what the slant will be in that joke
Did you just talk about slant in italics? That's a bold move.
I would like to underline that I didn't mean to capitalize on any style of humor that could not be justified here.
Something lead me to believe you're obliquely hinting at typography here. Not to be too diacritical, it is sort of funny. Different strokes for different … em, families.
(& @dkf, @Benjamin-Hall)
Aren't you all just a font of puns?
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@Rhywden said in The Official Funny Stuff Thread™:
Okay, here's an 18+ joke for you guys. NSFW, obviously!
19That's 18++
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@El_Heffe said in The Official Funny Stuff Thread™:
Hey, that means, Wales will be far ahead the German province then...
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@djls45 said in The Official Funny Stuff Thread™:
@LaoC said in The Official Funny Stuff Thread™:
@Applied-Mediocrity said in The Official Funny Stuff Thread™:
@Zecc said in The Official Funny Stuff Thread™:
@Applied-Mediocrity said in The Official Funny Stuff Thread™:@DogsB I wondered what the slant will be in that joke
Did you just talk about slant in italics? That's a bold move.
I would like to underline that I didn't mean to capitalize on any style of humor that could not be justified here.
Something lead me to believe you're obliquely hinting at typography here. Not to be too diacritical, it is sort of funny. Different strokes for different … em, families.
(& @dkf, @Benjamin-Hall)
Aren't you all just a font of puns?That's the black letter truth.
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@Rhywden said in The Official Funny Stuff Thread™:
Okay, here's an 18+ joke for you guys. NSFW, obviously!
I was expecting something more like this:
Adult only, NSFW
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@boomzilla said in The Official Funny Stuff Thread™:
@BernieTheBernie said in The Official Funny Stuff Thread™:
@Carnage said in The Official Funny Stuff Thread™:
Isn't it more like "the color means fuck all, they all taste like chimps"?
Not that it changes much.Hm "ist egal" means "does not matter", or if you try to stick closer to sentence structrure "is irrelevant". You correctly saw that "egal" is prefixed with "scheiß(e)" which denotes fecal matter, used as a swear word, and thus could be translated with "fuck". That makes then "Color is fucking irrelevant".
Perhaps better, "don't mean shit."
OK. Me see: people study English Ruthers University. Study good people grammar. No study white racist master grammar.
(Can't find that post now; I think it was some where in the "diseducation" thread.)
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@loopback0 It really sounds like someone had great fun inventing these group names and by some strange luck managed to get them in general use. Because they are effing absurd.
In Czech we have just (equivalent of) herd for herbivorous mammals, pack for carnivores, troupe for simians, apes and cavemen and flock for everything else (birds, fish, insect). Ok, and swarm, but that's a specific phenomenon; not every flock of bees is a swarm.
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@Bulb "School" of fish. ...First saw that one in Submarine Titans, and was thoroughly confused: A school. For fish.
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@Bulb said in The Official Funny Stuff Thread™:
It really sounds like someone had great fun inventing these group names
A flock of geese is a generic term that describes a group of geese that is in any physical location. A gaggle of geese describes a flock of geese that is located on the ground or in any body of water. A skein of geese describes a flock of geese as they fly through the air.
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@acrow said in The Official Funny Stuff Thread™:
@Bulb "School" of fish. ...First saw that one in Submarine Titans, and was thoroughly confused: A school. For fish.
There's a gag about that in the Beatles animated movie "Yellow Submarine"....
"Look, a school of whales!"
"They look a bit old for school."
"Perhaps they go to university?"
"University of Whales?"
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@Zecc said in The Official Funny Stuff Thread™:
skein of geese
A skein? A flock of geese does not fly in anything tangled, it always flies in a mesh of neat diagonal lines with regular distances—no goose with its right mind would ever let the perfectly good energy in the wake vortex go to waste.