The Official Funny Stuff Thread™
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Time to cement shards of glass on the chimney top.
When our student house got burgled the burglars broke off the pieces of glass from the top of the wall and left them in a neat pile on the floor. They then kicked their way through all the locked internal doors but, as I never locked mine, I had the only door that closed for the next two months until the landlord sorted it out.
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I had the only door that closed for the next two months until the landlord sorted it out
...by breaking the lock on your door.
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Shutdown begins 36 seconds ago?! Thanks for the notice, I guess, Windows.
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I have no idea whether this is real or fake, but it made me smile:
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..... bigger version that's actually readable?
I just had to click twice to get it to readable size.
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@RTapeLoadingError said:
I had the only door that closed for the next two months until the landlord sorted it out.
...by breaking the lock on your door.
That's right. He broke in, locked my door and then kicked it in.
Apart from the only locking door I also had the only TV and video (it was the 90's). The TV was a 28 inch with a CRT, deeper than it was wide, and strictly a 2-person lift. The video was a top loader. The advantages of owning things that are too old, heavy and shit to steal.
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The TV was a 28 inch with a CRT, deeper than it was wide, and strictly a 2-person lift.
I remember those. My back prefers that I forget…
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I was just browsing the forum before going to sleep and that post made me laugh so hard I woke my wife up and our dogs are looking at me like I am crazy.
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I have no idea whether this is real or fake, but it made me smile:
There's a very fine line between dumbass fucking stupidity and comedy genius, but he seems to tread it well.
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wisdom, not as awesome as knowledge in the short term, but waaaaaaaay better in the long term.
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I would rather have +10 INT and fry the teacher with my lighting hands
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Damn you to B*****m.
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From Clients From Hell, which doesn't seem to have discoverable permalinks to their stories (TRWTF):
A nice looking couple brought their computer in for repair.
Client: It just stopped working.
*They added offhandedly that they been smelling a “plastic” smell, and had also recently replaced a missing slot cover.
I nodded, outlined my usual fees and told them to expect a call when I’m done.
I cracked it open, but nothing could have prepared me for what
I’d uncovered. Dildos. Dildos everywhere. Melted dildos everywhere.They seemed a little surprised when I called them back in, and looked
downright mortified when I showed them the cause of their computer
trouble.
It turns out that their toddler found mommy and daddy’s fun-time stash and jammed the computer full of dildos, which had melted from the heat. It looked like a Jell-o factory had exploded in there.
Even worse, they turned to me, and asked:*Client: But you can still fix it, right?
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And an obligatory Markdown failure, I tried to copy the formatting from the original site and instead of italicizing stuff it left asterisks in.
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doesn't seem to have discoverable permalinks
No, they don't, but here's a link anyways: http://clientsfromhell.net/post/101252604457/a-nice-looking-couple-brought-their-computer-in
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With Colorado’s airwaves packed in the final days of the state’s Senate race, NARAL had to cut down its last-ditch anti-Cory Gardner advertisement for length. The full version, as obtained by National Review:
From the link in the article, which pretty much sums up the actual ad:
According to NARAL, wanting to make birth control over-the-counter is the same as banning it, and that will cause condoms, which are also available over-the-counter, to disappear entirely from stores. Or something.
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I cracked it open, but nothing could have prepared me for what I’d uncovered. Dildos. Dildos everywhere. Melted dildos everywhere.
@algorythmics, was it one of your submissions?
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According to NARAL, wanting to make birth control over-the-counter is the same as banning it
My head just asploded.
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From the link in the article, which pretty much sums up the actual ad:
They have a tough uphill battle to save Mark Uterus.
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A nice looking couple brought their computer in for repair.
That's actually better than finding snakes in the computer.
Filed under: No that's not your cat hissing at you.
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And an obligatory Markdown failure, I tried to copy the formatting from the original site and instead of italicizing stuff it left asterisks in.
Single lineTwo
lines
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no, but it should have been.
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True, but I just highlighted the text I wanted to italicize, clicked the italicize button, and it didn't italicize. That's a bug. The formatting buttons should Just Work™.
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Maybe not classically funny, but I think it's about what these guys deserve:
Here's the article's author describing a guy...
It’s not that I approve of [the Israelite School of Universal Practical Knowledge's] message, but I admire their honesty. It’s helpful when your self-declared enemies are so eager to make themselves known.
...who said this over a loudspeaker in Philly:
May the white man die today. May the Chinese man die today. May the East Indian man die today. … All your sons is [sic] homosexuals. All your women becoming homosexual. And becoming whores.
The scriptures say black woman, shut your damn mouth.
We’ll be happy for it man. When we can take your little white children with them big heads man and them blond—and that blond hair, right, and the blue eyes and smashed [sic] they head against the walls man. I wanna catch one coming out the womb and rip him from his feet and take him and smash his head against the damn floor man.
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Just Reddit things.
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And just like that, I've learned Neil Armstrong has passed away.
@boomzilla said:SMH
So much hate? Shaking your head?It's a little early for Saturday morning hangovers.
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Could you spoiler tag that? Please?
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Thanks, @boomzilla!
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Prepare to facepalm like you've never facepalmed before!
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Seriously, how stupid can you get?
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(not the best infinite facepalm edit but it'll do.)
No it is fine. It reaches a strangely hypnotizing WTF level
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i did think it strangely appropriate*.
* that is a hard word to speel! i tried four times before i said screw it and let chrome spell it for me.
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i'm a bad spellar. so i lampoon it. somewhat regularly.
does it annoy? i can stop. maybe.
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so i lampoon it.
I know!
i can stop
Not for me!does it annoy?
does it annoy i fun poked it about
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does it annoy i fun poked it about
not in the sloghtest. I'm actually pretty bad at hiding my emotions, even in text. As RaymondChen might say, I have all the subtlety of a thermonuclear bomb.
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