The Official Status Thread
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I literally parked on a sheet of ice this morning and almost fell three times getting my bag out of the passenger side.
Anytime I hear about slipping on ice, or I slip on ice myself, I am reminded of something that happened many years ago:
Our area had just gotten a lot of freezing rain and calling conditions treacherous would be kind. My company truck at the time was a Chevy dually with a 454 and a Vortech, which made things even worse for driving. I took a guy with me as some guys out in the field needed additional help. I drive up to where they are at in an unfinished development that had massive crowns in the road for some reason. I pull up on the wrong side of the road and my door was at the curb. We both get out of the truck (the guy I was delivering was a portly fellow) and I start walking to where the crew was and realize that no one was following me...
Then I hear it. Laughing. I walk back over to the truck and he is nowhere to be found, but I still hear him laughing. I walk around the truck and he is stuck under the truck. When he shut his door, his feet went out from under him and he slid and lodged himself under the truck. I laugh and then BAM, my ass hits the road.
The rest of the situation was like a 'Three Stooges' routine, with all of us laughing despite our bruised tailbones while continually trying (and failing) to get a fat man out from under a truck while standing on a solid sheet of ice.
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Nice
I used to live at the bottom of a very steep hill; worse, it was inside an apartment complex, so you could tell where the road became the apartment complex's issue because our lazy landlord never had it salted or plowed. Needless to say, one winter I came out to find the entire road one slick sheet of ice. There was a line of three cars waiting at the cul-de-sack at the bottom, taking turns trying to make it up and failing. One guy with good winter tires and a big truck made it up, and two gave up and went back into the parking lot.My husband finally convinced me I could make it if I gave it a shot, so I gunned it up the road... and began sliding sideways, toward the rail-less cliff overlooking the parking lot below. I freaked out, barely managed to come to a stop, and parked the car on the road, freaked out. My husband came rushing up to meet me and I told him, I can't do this, you drive, get me back to the parking lot. So of course I slip out of the car to let him drive... and promptly fall on my ass, having forgotten that I was on a sheet of ice.
I called out that day >.>
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You need this:
According to the article, the app is supposed to prevent me from calling my ex. What I really need, though, is an app that prevents me from drunk texting the woman I'm currently dating. Got an app for that?
And possibly this:
https://play.google.com/store/apps/details?id=net.iqwerty.freepee&hl=en
Why would I need a bathroom when there are perfectly fine bushes and trees everywhere?
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According to the article, the app is supposed to prevent me from calling my ex. What I really need, though, is an app that prevents me from drunk texting the woman I'm currently dating. Got an app for that?
Just keep drinking until you lack the motor skills to even unlock your phone. Boom.
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Why would I need a bathroom when there are perfectly fine bushes and trees everywhere?
Because...reasons.
Relevant bit:
1:11: I trip over a bush, stumble into it, and begin throwing up. Out of my mouth. And nose. It is not pleasant.
1:14: I can’t figure out why my legs hurt so much. I look down at them in between heaves. I have no pants on. Thorns and branches are embedded in my shins.
1:18: The vomiting is over. I am now trying to stop the bleeding. A bright light hits my eyes. I am not happy. I tell the owner to “get that fucking light out of my face.” The owner of the light identifies himself as an officer of the law. I apologize to the officer, and ask him what the problem is. A long pause ensues. The light is still in my eyes. “Son, where are your pants?” Remembering past encounters with the law, and realizing there is no one around to bail me out of the county lock-up, I summon every bit of adrenaline in my body to sober myself up. I apologize again, and explain to the officer that my pants are in the restaurant that is less than 50 feet away, and that I came outside to share my sushi with the bush. He doesn’t laugh. Another long pause. “You’re not driving tonight are you?”, “Oh, NO, NO, NO…no sir, I don’t even have a valid driver’s license.”
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Just keep drinking until you lack the motor skills to even unlock your phone. Boom.
That is my normal strategy. Anything worth doing is worth overdoing.
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Just keep drinking until you lack the motor skills to even unlock your phone. Boom.
Do you remember those old mobile phones back in the nineties, which had a huge-ass "phone book" (🕮) button? I once stood in front of a bouncer and managed not to find my contact list on that thing (for some reason I don't remember, I needed someone's phone number). Somehow, they still let me in. That's the last thing I remember…
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Anything worth doing is worth overdoing.
The Mythbusters approach.
Hedgehog approved
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I used to live at the bottom of a very steep hill
Not trying to be a one-upper, I just have a lot of good stories from the construction days in the winter. You reminded me of this:
The construction world is full of people with strong personalities and big egos. Very few people will admit that they have not done something, or ask for guidance. One winter we had a job building a very large earthen berm. Just digging dirt in one place and placing it someplace else. They send a guy out to run a dozer and when he gets there I ask him if he was comfortable doing the job on frozen ground. "Oh yeah! I have 20+ years experience! No problem!"
Fine, whatever. I had gotten used to being the young superintendent that all of the old guys looked at as not knowing anything. The berm by this point was ~50' tall with 3:1 slopes, so the slopes were ~150' in length from top to toe.
Side note: Dozers have tracks that look like this:
http://www.skeltonassociates.com/wp-content/uploads/2010/08/DozerTracks.jpg
Great traction when force is applied forward and backward, not so much side to side. In fact, when you look at them from the side...the grousers look a hell of a lot like ice skates.
He warms up the D8R, charges straight up the completely frozen slope (force applied forward and backwards) and has great traction due to the rough texture. Right before he gets to the top he turns 90 degrees (like an idiot) and the 82,000 lb machine comes down the slope like a skier. It was rather impressive really.
I was sitting in my truck, laughing my ass off. Some wisecracks are made on the radio. No impacts or anything, he was fine. Nothing hurt but his pride.
Lunchtime comes, one of the "big personalities" on the crew was our fuel man. New guy gets out of the dozer, fuel guy gets in and yells (sarcastically and facetitiously) that it smells like someone defecated in the machine. The guy left for lunch and never came back.
Guess his pride was pretty well injured?
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Not trying to be a one-upper,
Liar.
The construction world is full of people with strong personalities and big egos.
Also: racists.
the 82,000 machine
Dollars or Pounds?
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Liar.
Pfffffbt, if I were I would be a better one-upper than you are.
Also: racists.
Yeah...when you have a point, you have a point. There were incidents in that respect also...not as funny though. Well, one of the stories is...now that I think about it.
Dollars or Pounds?
Good catch. Pounds, as a measurement of weight.
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Good catch. Pounds, as a measurement of weight.
Dollars would be more like, "this idiot is going to destroy a pretty expensive piece of equipment", pounds is more like, "this idiot is going to kill himself or someone else". SO IT MATTERS.
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Dollars would be more like, "this idiot is going to destroy a pretty expensive piece of equipment"
Dollars would be more like $750,000-$800,000. ;)
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Dollars would be more like $750,000-$800,000.
Ah but there are bulldozers in the $85k range, and remember in this theoretical scenario we don't know the gross weight of the dozer. And we already know your images are just yanked from Google Image Search as examples. SO I WIN AGAIN.
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Dollars would be more like, "this idiot is going to destroy a pretty expensive piece of equipment", pounds is more like, "this idiot is going to kill himself or someone else". SO
IT MATTERSIT'S FUNNY EITHER WAY.
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Ah but there are bulldozers in the $85k range, and remember in this theoretical scenario we don't know the gross weight of the dozer. And we already know your images are just yanked from Google Image Search as examples. SO I WIN AGAIN.
You and @boomzilla are either the same person, or brothers. ;)
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You and @boomzilla are either the same person
That would be some epic sock-puppeteering. Who would waste that much time?
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SO I WIN AGAIN.
Ok guys, time to give some forumpoints to the man, he worked hard enough for them...
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Ok guys, time to give some forumpoints to the man, he worked hard enough for them...
He still owes me and @abarker $50. We placed a lien against him. His forum points are now ours.
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He still owes me and @abarker $50. We placed a lien against him. His forum points are now ours.
Now we need to come up with a forumpointzzz to USD conversion system that fluctuates based on current market conditions …
Until then, forumpointzzz will continue to be claimed, but cannot be counted toward the amount owed.
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Very few people will admit that they have not done something, or ask for guidance.
This is a man thing, not a personality / ego thing, IME.
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This is a man thing, not a personality / ego thing, IME.
You are correct, but it was much more pronounced in that environment. At least from my experience. It was also exacerbated due to the fact that I was ~20 when I went in to supervision and I was supervising people that were in some cases more than twice my age.
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Now we need to come up with a forumpointzzz to USD conversion system that fluctuates based on current market conditions …
easy! one foprumpointzzzz is worth
(1/(1BTCtoUSD * 1USDtoJPY * 1USDtoINR)) * sqrt(-1)
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Looks like imaginary money to me...
Again, I'm sorry...
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Looks like imaginary money to me...
Well spotted good sir! well spotted indeed. although to be more "correctorly" about it it is complex money that happens to have a zero "Real" money component.
:-P
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Status: salaried employee once again.
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Status: caught up.... for now.
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(1/(1BTCtoUSD * 1USDtoJPY * 1USDtoINR)) * sqrt(-1)
Hmmm, let's see ...
i
for converting from imaginary forumpointzzz to real currency, good.- Simplifying units:
1BTCtoUSD * 1USDtoJPY * 1USDtoINR
isUSD/BTC * JPY/USD * INR/USD
which simplifies to(JPY * INR) / (BTC * USD)
. Since this is the denominator, and we are targeting USD, I take it that you are working on the assumption that forumpointzzz are equal ton / sqrt(-1) * (BTC / (JPY * INR))
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If this is an accurate analysis, then I believe that we can use your formula, after it undergoes some additional "obfuscation".
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not correct really. that simplifies the units all right, but the exchange rates are not linked.
it is entirely possible that converting BTC to JPY and Converting BTC to USD and then from USD to JPY will yield different amounts of JPY (assuming of course that there are no brokerage fees for the conversion)
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not correct really. that simplifies the units all right, but the exchange rates are not linked.
it is entirely possible that converting BTC to JPY and Converting BTC to USD and then from USD to JPY will yield different amounts of JPY (assuming of course that there are no brokerage fees for the conversion)
I never claimed the exchange rates were linked. I was only:
Simplifying units
I wasn't trying to simplify the calculation, I was just trying to determine what your base assumptions were. There was nowhere in my post where I advised replacing
1BTCtoUSD * 1USDtoJPY
with1BTCtoJPY
. Tell the council in your head to stop pursuing strawmen.Also, just because we use the intermediate conversions to perform the calculations doesn't mean that we actually need to perform those transactions. Brokerage fees for the intermediate conversions are a non-factor.
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I never claimed the exchange rates were linked. I was only:
:blink: you didn't?
/me goes and rereads your previous post
of course you didn't. grabbed the sharp end of the sword on that one.
/me wanders off in search of First Aid
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/me wanders off in search of First Aid
Somebody want to make sure she gets there?
@RaceProUK
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She's a fox. Licking her wounds is her version of first aid.
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Who would waste that much time?
Have you seen my post rate?
@abarker said:Somebody want to make sure she gets there?
@abarker has summoned me, and so I appear
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Status: keep saying "PMI" (Personal Medical Information, an acronym nobody uses except my twisted brain) instead of "PHI" (Personal Health Information, the industry standard term). Made worse by all previous positions only having "PII" (Personally Identifiable Information). I hate acronyms.
From now on, I'll just call PHI "Phil".
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@RaceProUK 20d6
Wait a sec...
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Error: Dice not found
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Status: Foot cramp for solid 5 minutes now. This is new.
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It's a secret, but the typical assumption is that you need to get at least 85% on a test with 30 questions. The trouble is, the sample problems are only "representative". A lot of the exam problems will be completely new to me. And I need to get them all done in under 6 minutes each, on average. So I always aim for 95%, in under 6 minutes each, for the sample problems.
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Status: Picked some some funny Euro money. One step closer to being ready for a long weekend in Belgium at the end of the week.
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My condolences
I have actually been to Belgium; it's a nice little country. Great beer too
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It's a secret, but the typical assumption is that you need to get at least 85% on a test with 30 questions.
You are about to take a test where you do not even know what a passing grade is? What fresh hell is that? Do they at least tell you what your score was?
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I've been before like 10-11 years ago. Looking forward to sampling the range of beers again.
It's being followed by a few days in Manchester so I guess that's more beer sampling.