The nerdy jokes thread (bonus original title mode!)
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"Is that a banana in your pocket, or are you just happy to see me?"
"Neither, it's my new iPhone 6"
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Do you know the keyboard shortcuts for incognito mode in Firefox and Chrome?
It's Ctrl + Shift + (P or N).
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All our computers went down yesterday afternoon, so we had to do everything manually.
Took me twenty minutes to shuffle the cards for Solitaire.
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Shouldn't the Smithsonian's Air and Space Museum be empty??
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It's only called incognito in Chrome. In Firefox, it's called private browsing.
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And InPrivate in IE.
Also activated by CtrlshiftP, btw.
Filed under: Sounds very private, doesn't it?
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I don't think this one has been posted yet:
Why was 6 afraid of 7?
Because seven eight nine. But seven wasn't the only one:
[spoiler]69[/spoiler]
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What do you call a very famous, very bright Spanish man?
EL ED.
Filed under: l looks too much like I
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Today during class , I was getting every question right, so this girl goes...
Girl: 'Wow , he's such a nerd'.
Teacher : 'Cut it out! He could be your boss one day, you know!'
Me : 'Highly unlikely , I don't plan on being a pimp.'
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www.reddit.com/r/thathappened
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How many programmers does it take to change a light bulb?
[spoiler]None. It's a hardware problem.[/spoiler]
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What do you call 8 hobbits?
[spoiler]A hobbyte[/spoiler]
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There's a band called 1023MB. They haven't had any gigs yet.
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I saw a picture on Facebook of a young girl in glasses holding up a handwritten sign that said:
"I got bullied in school for wearing glasses. My classmates called me a nerd. Please share if your against bullying."
Now the nerds are going to bully her tomorrow, for mis-spelling "you're".
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two cats on a roof, which slides off first?
[spoiler]the one with the smallest mew![/spoiler]
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Bad news for fans of a certain British SciFi programme:
[spoiler]
[/spoiler]
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And that's why commata are important!
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What's the difference between a joke and a formal thought disorder?
Clanging / slanging / bangen / ragged / ajar.
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My teenage son left home without his phone this morning.
When he returned he asked "Has the sky always been that colour?"
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I tried to download the new Band-Aid song to raise money for victims of the ebola outbreak,..
But my anti-virus software wouldn't let me.
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i don't think that's a joke... he probably hasn't seen the sky in years thanks to that phone....
wait... no, that was the joke....
sorry, too much blood in my caffeine system.
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The inventor of predictive text has died.
His funfair will be hello on Sundial.
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Adam and Eve: The first people to not read the Apple terms and conditions.
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During a recent audit by a company, it was found that an employee was using the following password:
"MickeyMinniePlutoHueyLouieDeweyDonaldGoofySacramento"
When asked why she had such a long password, she rolled her eyes and said: "Hello! It has to be at least 8 characters and include at least one capital!"
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This is the ultimate Discourse:
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This post is deleted!
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It's even better: we'll still like it when the post is eventually rebaked…
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I for one, like Roman numerals.
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What would the guy from les mis be if you took away his value? A pair of Jeans.
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Say what you will about Hitler, but he really put the ‘not’ into ‘Maginot line’.
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Call of Duty: Advanced Warfare has AI-controlled machine gun turrets. But the AI is really slow and stupid, and it's rare for them to actually get kills unless you surprise someone or you're playing against idiots.
The little badge you get when your AI turret gets a kill is named "Maginot".
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Thanks, Ben
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BUG: Belgium is not censored in oneboxes.
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It's a joke, it's nerdy, fuck off.
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Hitler is the only man that has ever killed Hitler...
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You know who else wanted to kill Hitler? Yeah, Hitler.
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Yeah, but you know who's punched Hitler?
This guy:
source: http://images2.fanpop.com/image/photos/13200000/Rory-and-the-Doctor-Talk-The-Pandorica-Opens-rory-williams-13234278-500-281.jpgWell, first he pointed a gun at Hitler, then punched him, then he stuffed him in a cupboard.
Edit: Localized image with reference to source.
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broken_image_DISCOURSE!!!!!!!.jpg
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Tried a fix. How's it look now?
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It's visible now, though I have no idea who it is.
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It's visible now, though I have no idea who it is.
Rory Williams, from Doctor Who. He's got a wicked crazy timeline.
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the French military did not want to compromise Belgium's neutrality.
Too bad the Germans had no such self-imposed limitations.
BUG: ■■■■■■■ is not censored in oneboxes.
But is when quoting text from a onebox. Discoursistency!
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Too bad the Germans had no such self-imposed limitations.
I think the idea was that if Germany invaded through the low countries, Britain would have no choice but to get involved, whereas if it was just Germany vs France, it might have been a different story.
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Not so nerdy, but for want of a better place to dump this...
Yesterday I saw a dishevelled old hairy tramp recycling putrefied rubbish, swearing at strangers and begging for money after his family spent all his on heroin.
[spoiler]I just thought: No, Bob Geldof - I'm not buying your shite record this time.[/spoiler]
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My new avatar actually fits in here:
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I would never be seen anywhere near terrible games like Call of Duty!
Because you prefer other terrible games like Dwarf Fortress?
Filed under: Only intended to be humorous, not intentionally directed against dwarves