The nerdy jokes thread (bonus original title mode!)
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3 perfect logicians walk into a bar, and the bartender asks, "what're y'all having?".
When all but one has died of old age, he orders a beer.
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3 bartenders walk into a bar.
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@hungrier said in The nerdy jokes thread (bonus original title mode!):
Bae, eh?
This is Bae
Dijkstra's been dead for 20 years. He must have been a fucking pedo.
Pedo Bae.
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IEEE 754 is a double standard
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@Gribnit said in The nerdy jokes thread (bonus original title mode!):
3 bartenders walk into a bar.
It wasn't all that dense, so none of them said, "Ow!"
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@djls45 I was stuck on decidability again, thanks.
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@hungrier wow fuck I thought Pokémon were easy but no length and no terminator is gonna be a problem.
ed. don't panic, this is an interned stringizard's data in the literal pool
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@Gribnit It's easy, just stop reading when you get to
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@hungrier that's copper. Look at the bend radius!
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@Gribnit The ends look like they could be optical, but you may be right
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2!=2
Mathematician: this is fine.
Programmer: this is wrong.x=x+1
Mathematician: this is wrong.
Programmer: this is fine.
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@Mason_Wheeler huh.
For the first case, mathematicians don't use any numbers bigger than that if they can help it.
For the second case, programmers don't use any numbers bigger than that if they can help it.
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@Benjamin-Hall may your line be stricken with hereditary syphilis, your crops falter and wither, your sky tear asunder, and your football team lose more than the statistical average.
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@hungrier said in The nerdy jokes thread (bonus original title mode!):
@Gribnit The ends look like they could be optical, but you may be right
Yeah they're optical connectors. It'll be bend-insensitive fibre.
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"Bendable fibers", targeted toward easier installation in home environments, have been standardized as ITU-T G.657. This type of fiber can be bent with a radius as low as 7.5 mm without adverse impact.
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@Boner is there really such a fragile situation in Denmark???
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@Gribnit said in The nerdy jokes thread (bonus original title mode!):
fragile situation in Denmark
Why did you paraphrase
something is rotten in the state of Denmark
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@BernieTheBernie said in The nerdy jokes thread (bonus original title mode!):
@Gribnit said in The nerdy jokes thread (bonus original title mode!):
fragile situation in Denmark
Why did you paraphrase
something is rotten in the state of Denmark
B/c I can't read flags properly, but a coalition government shaped like a nand gate is no good for business.
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@Mason_Wheeler also a good idea. You could spam these all over town with decreasing annoyance.
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@boomzilla Eliot went to Harvard. It's full of people with slightly-above-average to far-above-average intelligence but with maturity levels matching the general population or worse. Literally everyone would have noticed.
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This is from a series of FB posts that my son sent me (with some grammar and spelling errors fixed):
[Dungeons & Dads:]
Free worldbuilding idea:Wizards have the same trust in magic that software designers have in software, which is to say, almost none at all.
"Are you fucking kidding me? I worked in a reagent shop for a few years. I don't trust any of that stuff. Who the hell knows what other components are in the ashes."
"Yeah, I was in the circle that made Alston's Divine Circle of Teleportation. There's some pretty nasty corner cases you can get into, but the headmaster published it without us. I just take ships. It's way safer."
"I call bullshit on that Necromancer channeling spirits of loved ones. What did he say he was using? 'Medium Conduit Runic Circles'? That's just a bunch of buzzwords slapped together, and they don't even interact with each other."
"I've been looking at this scroll all morning, and I'm 90% sure that the scribe didn't even look at the standard for pyromancies."
[digitaldiscipline:]
"Help Desk, this is Gloriline. What did you fuck up this time?"
indistinct vocals
"Dave, I've seen the news, and, frankly, I can see the ash cloud from here. You paid for extended support, not enabling support."[purewriting:]
"I can't get this fucking spell to work, Jane. Can you look [at] it?"passes scroll
a few moments of silence"I think you missed a bookend rune right here-"
"GODS DAMN IT! IT'S ALWAYS SHIT LIKE THAT! THANK YOU!" angrily scribbles on parchment
(It takes five more aggravatingly tiny adjustments before the spell works)
[crazy-pages:]
I don't play wizards anymore because they're too much like my day job.[drackir:]
Instead of an orb, the wizard has a little statue of a duck he tells his spells to and then swears when he spots the obvious mistake.[beachfox:]
You beat me to it! I was going to add that the reason why wizards and witches always have familiars around is so they can Rubber Duck at them until they realize what the mistake with their spell is!Outsiders get it wrong and figure the familiars are somehow teaching spells to their owners, but no. It's just explaining to Firewing what you're trying to do with this teleportation matrix, until you realize that you've been using telepathy crystals to power it the whole time like a FUCKING IDIOT!
[Dungeons & Dads:]
"Someone call spell support; that's the 5th mis-cast today ."
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@HardwareGeek well yeah. Except it's the other way around, and all we get is poor facility with martial weapons, iffy strength and agility, and the ability to get foolishly talked into solving hard problems.
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@Mason_Wheeler so I'm either chaotic good (on my desktop with 3 screens, 2 of which are the same size) or Lawful neutral (my work laptop and aux screen).
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True neutral!
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My window alignment is chaotic neutral, but they're a little better-aligned than that.
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@Mason_Wheeler I fail to see how these relate to D&D alignments.
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@PleegWat
It's more likely to get free internet pointzzzz when posted on reddit
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@PleegWat said in The nerdy jokes thread (bonus original title mode!):
@Mason_Wheeler I fail to see how these relate to D&D alignments.
Stop trying to align Divs & Divs and just embrace tables already.
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@Watson said in The nerdy jokes thread (bonus original title mode!):
My window alignment is chaotic neutral, but they're a little better-aligned than that.
I'd actually like to try that, but neither of my "chaotic good" monitors rotates.
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@PleegWat Also, I've got two monitors, identical, both wall-mounted, one a centimeter lower than the other.
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@PleegWat said in The nerdy jokes thread (bonus original title mode!):
one a centimeter lower than the other.
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@HardwareGeek I'll be more careful aligning the wall mounts after the move.
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@PleegWat said in The nerdy jokes thread (bonus original title mode!):
@Mason_Wheeler I fail to see how these relate to D&D alignments.
Aside from chaotic evil, surely.