The nerdy jokes thread (bonus original title mode!)
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How many posts are in the Likes thread?
- But we're Doing It Wrong™ so Discourse changes the number on me in arrogant self-defense.
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People respond well to incentives, they're just also really poor at making them.
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If you did the price increase only on the cheapest stuff but as a tax (say if the cost is < this then tax (yeah I know that would be raise the prices so don't get hit by tax but still)) that was tagged for the medical bills of those you are supposedly targeting that would kinda work. You know if all of the assumptions played out (which they wouldn't).
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- alcohol excise duty and VAT more than already cover the purported medical costs. Alcohol is already taxed too much.
- this would be the thin end of the wedge, and when (as will be inevitable) it's not perceived to 'work' there will be incessant calls from the puritanical brigade for further increases in the MUP.
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Alcohol excise duty and VAT more than already cover the purported medical costs. Alcohol is already taxed too much.
The allegation is that they don't cover the policing costs as well as the medical costs.Mine's a beer.
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The allegation is that they don't cover the policing costs as well as the medical costs.
"Allegation."
Indeed. Considering the impression is that the (UK) police are doing too little actual policing these days I find that argument somewhat specious.
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People love simple explanations, too.
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For every phenomenon, there's a simple explanation that's precisely, exactly wrong.
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If you did the price increase only on the cheapest stuff but as a tax (say if the cost is < this then tax (yeah I know that would be raise the prices so don't get hit by tax but still)) that was tagged for the medical bills of those you are supposedly targeting that would kinda work. You know if all of the assumptions played out (which they wouldn't).
We've managed to ramp up the price of a pack of cigarettes from about $1-2 to $4-5 here in 10 years. Think it got the smokers any better care? (it didn't). Or perhaps that it stopped heavy smokers from buying cigarettes? (neither, thanks to our beloved friends behind the eastern border).
It doesn't change much. The heavy drinkers will switch to moonshine, the occasional drinkers will grip their teeth and pay up, and the government will use the money for whatever they need today.
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Think it got the smokers any better care? (it didn't). Or perhaps that it stopped heavy smokers from buying cigarettes? (neither, thanks to our beloved friends behind the eastern border).
Note that I was just saying that if the tax money was flagged to only pay for one category of stuff (your first question) that it could be justified. Lowering the amount used by people that use heaviest isn't really the point, just defraying costs from them doing so. I also know that politicians can't keep their hands off of money that is flagged for anything, which is why I put the big ass qualifier of "If your assumptions played out" on all of it.
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Trying to bring the funny back:
As a part of an experiment an engineer, a physicist and a mathematician are locked in a room for 6 months. The room contains enough canned food to last them for at least six months, with some extra on the side, just in case. The only thing they are allowed to take with them is a pen.
Six months later, the scientists running the experiment start opening the rooms.
Upon opening the engineer's room they immediately see all the cans opened and empty in one corner, and the engineer coming towards them with a smile on his face and visibly fattened.
"So, how did you survive?" they ask him.
"Oh, it was easy." says the engineer "I just found the weakest point on the can, poked it with the pen, and the rest was smooth sailing."Next up, they open the physicist's room. They find half the cans opened and the physicist greets them, skinnier but in good spirit.
"So, how did you survive?" scientists ask him.
"Well, it was a bit tricky," he says "I knew that I could open the can with enough force applied. It took me a few days, but I eventually calculated a way to throw it against the wall so it cracks open. I usually managed to open just one a day, but that was enough."Lastly, they open the mathematicians room, but the mathematician is nowhere to be seen. Investigating, they find all the cans neatly in a corner, all still closed, and a skeleton leaning on the opposite wall, full of equations. In the top corner it said: "Conjecture: Humans require food to survive. Let's assume the opposite...."
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The price change isn't a tax. It's a price floor. The money goes to the liquor companies.
Also, most people's drinks are already above the price floor. So the floor wouldn't affect them at all.
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The price change isn't a tax. It's a price floor. The money goes to the liquor companies.
Presuming this is going back to the MUP stuff (mobile site provides no context) in the UK it's generally assumed that the retailers will be getting their cut (if not all of it.)
Also, most people's drinks are already above the price floor. So the floor wouldn't affect them at all.
Which is why the anti-fun organisatians' next shroud-waving exercise will involve ratcheting up that floor. Because the proposed floor 'didn't work. '
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Filed under: funny cos it's true
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@blakeyrat would pretend this is a lie.
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Well, it is a pie chart. Which is kind of like a cake.
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A physicist, mechanic and a programmer were on holiday in the alps. One day whilst driving on the steep alpine roads their brakes fail. They weave their way down the mountain constantly building up speed, and have a few close calls with oncoming traffic along the way. All three of them are absolutely terrified by their impending doom and are ready to meet their maker. The situation seems dire, but they suddenly spot an escape road. They veer off onto the escape road and come to a gradual halt.
After they all thank their deities and regain their composure, they go about trying to figure out what's went wrong.
The physicist says, "excess heat must have been building up from all of the heavy braking that we've been doing. If I can model the behaviour I may be able to figure out why the brakes failed."
The mechanic says, "I've got some tools in the boot, give me half an hour and I might be able to fix the problem."
The programmer says, "Lets go again and see if we can reproduce it!".
Filed under: an old one but a good one
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I could have sworn that was already in this thread, but apparently it isn't.
there is however an epic story made by some wordsmith magician fellow. it's quite a read, you should look it up.
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That programmer's a fake!
Real programmers are too valuable to waste their time on hardware issues.
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The man who invented the iPhone battery has died.
His funeral will take plac
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Real programmers are too valuable to waste their time on hardware issues.
What about
INTEGER PROGRAMMERS
?
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What about
INTEGER PROGRAMMERS
?Integer programming problems take forever, so those guys probably have extra time.
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What about INTEGER PROGRAMMERS?
I'm a
COMPLEX PROGRAMMER
.
Filed under: A significant number of my programming achievements are imaginary.
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In the same style:
A mechanic, an electrician and a programmer are traveling together in a car. Suddenly, the car sputters and stops dead in it's tracks.
The mechanic says, "Must be the fuel injection, probably got clogged up. We're not moving an inch without a replacement."
"No, no", the electrician says, "must be a flat battery. We're not going anywhere unless we find a way to charge it."
The programmer says, "Guys, guys, chill. How about we try closing all windows, getting out and getting in again?"
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I could have sworn that was already in this thread, but apparently it isn't.
It could be, but we have no way of knowing
Filed under: if only search wasn't horribly broken
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Hey. @PJH, I see people getting "Nice post" badges outside /t/1000, and they aren't backlogged. Bug?
http://what.thedailywtf.com/badges/6/nice-post
Example:
http://what.thedailywtf.com/t/the-nerdy-jokes-thread/1025/315?u=onyx
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Nice Posts are still global. Yes, 10 likes outside of /t/1000 gets you 2 badges.
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Ah, makes sense.
Now back to our scheduled, mildly funny programming.
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You have no idea how many hours I've wasted and how much emotional distress I've suffered. My ex-wife and I published an online magazine for a while, and we were too cheap, or something, to spring for real publishing software. If I had a dollar for every time we argued because I couldn't make it "just work," ...
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If you were using Word for an online magazine, I'd argue you deserved every bit of it.
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Use PDFs! Everyone loves them.
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At least his disclaimer is perfectly correct, he really does have no idea what he's talking about.
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For his problems:
- pretty much every browser has PDF functionality built-in/close enough where the transition is transparent
- not having a PDF viewer these days is like not having JavaScript enabled. if you can't handle it, that's your problem, you're not worth my time.
- this thread (last dozen posts or so)
- HTML and CSS also really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really suck.
And this is coming from a guy that doesn't like PDFs.
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Well, his article was from 2008, and things have improved but there's still use cases for PDFs that the web won't satisfy and that's where you need to get from digital to print and be consistent about it.
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Well, his article was from 2008, and things have improved but there's still use cases for PDFs that the web won't satisfy and that's where you need to get from digital to print and be consistent about it.
CRAP. That reminds me. I should probably do a print stylesheet for my site.
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CRAP. That reminds me. I should probably do a print stylesheet for my site.
People still print webpages off that aren't very specific things?
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It's an event-based site, so printing off the event details (especially the location and directions) can be very handy for the older people.
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Use PDFs! Everyone loves them.
After fighting with Word to make the document, we published it as PDF. That brought its own headaches. The target market for our magazine was little old ladies who barely knew how to click links in IE; trying to tell them how to install Adobe Reader (this was before browsers had PDF support built-in), I can even.
In my defense, almost everything about the magazine was my ex-wife's magazine. For some reason that I still don't understand, when she got a business license, she did so as a partnership. You could not pay me enough to do web design for her; for all her good qualities, when it comes to stuff like this, she's a client from hell.
I will take credit/blame for three things about the magazine:
- Using PDF to publish, because there was no way in hell HTML was going to satisfy her pickiness about the reader seeing everything laid-out on-screen exactly the same way she saw it.
- Setting up the web site so only paid subscribers could access it (a bit of a WTF the way I did that) and the PayPal account to take the money.
- A fair bit of the content.
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And this is coming from a guy that doesn't like PDFs.
They're great for actual documents. But they're probably misused more often than not.
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Im a
STRING PROGRAMMER
.[code]
enum Programmer {Cowboy, Senior, Brillant, Ninja, Wizard, OldSchool, PHP};
[/code]
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enum Programmer { Cowboy = 1, Senior = 2, Brillant = 4 , Ninja = 8, Wizard = 16, OldSchool = 32, PHP = 64 };
FTFY
Filed under:
PHP | NINJA
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Before you marry someone you should let them use a computer with slow internet connection...just to see who they really are.
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Cowboy
belongs toCoder
, notProgrammer
(slight difference)
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Hmm.
Cowboy | Wizard
.
Filed under: [I put on my robe and cowboy hat](#tag)
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Use PDFs! Everyone loves them.
We have given that guy so much damned traffic. All of it is us bitching about him, or pointing out what an asshat he is. Or exploring his hypocrisy. Analytics don't take that in to account though. He just thinks he is Doing It Right. "My traffic is up, the world loves me!"
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When they buried the man who invented Tetris, the whole cemetery disappeared.
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They had to rotate the coffin a bunch of times until they found a place it fit snugly, vertically.