THE BAD IDEAS THREAD
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@morbiuswilters said:
@Ben L. said:
My arms are tired because they became sentient and then started working out because they didn't like who they were.
Well, at least they didn't waste their time on one of those diets.
Please, everyone knows that diets don't exist.
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A laser that shoots beams of light with a frequency of 0 hertz
An E.T. themed PDA app for the Game Boy Color that asks you way too many personal questions (yes, such a thing exists)
Fax machines that fax messages written on stone tablets
Erectile dysfunction medication which doesn't cure your erectile dysfunction but instead causes you to grow a second, equally useless, penis
Computer chip flavored potato chips
A planet that doesn't have any gravity
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@ekolis said:
Computer chip flavored potato chips
Potato chip flavored computer chips
Chocolate chip computer chips
Computer chip cookies
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@joe.edwards said:
@ekolis said:
Computer chip flavored potato chips
Potato chip flavored computer chips
Chocolate chip computer chips
Computer chip cookies1 18.25 ounce package chocolate cake mix. 1 can prepared coconut pecan frosting. 3/4 cup vegetable oil. 4 large eggs. 1 cup semi-sweet chocolate chips. 3/4 cups butter or margarine. 1 2/3 cups granulated sugar. 2 cups all purpose flour. Don't forget garnishes such as: Fish shaped crackers. Fish shaped candies. Fish shaped solid waste, Fish shaped dirt. Fish shaped ethyl benzene. Pull and peel licorice.. Fish shaped volatile organic compounds and sediment shaped sediment. Candy coated peanut butter pieces, Shaped like fish. 1 cup lemon juice. Alpha resins. Unsaturated polyester resin. Fiberglass surface resins. And volatile malted milk impoundments. 9 large egg yolks. 12 medium geosynthetic membranes. 1 cup granulated sugar. An entry called 'how to kill someone with your bare hands'. 2 cups rhubarb, sliced. 2/3 cups granulated rhubarb. 1 tablespoon all-purpose rhubarb. 1 teaspoon grated orange rhubarb. 3 tablespoons rhubarb, on fire. 1 large rhubarb. 1 cross borehole electro-magnetic imaging rhubarb. 2 tablespoons rhubarb juice. Adjustable aluminum head positioner. Slaughter electric needle injector. Cordless electric needle injector. Injector needle driver. Injector needle gun. Cranial caps. And it contains proven preservatives, deep penetration agents, and gas and odor control chemicals. That will deodorize and preserve putrid tissue.
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A 20-octave piano.
A portable sundial.
Italics that slant the other way.
Helium life jackets.
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@dhromed said:
@Snowyowl said:
Helium life jackets.
Hydrogen gas life jackets.
Chlorine gas life jackets.
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@Ben L. said:
@dhromed said:
@Snowyowl said:
Helium life jackets.
Hydrogen gas life jackets.
Chlorine gas life jackets.
Iron filings life jackets.
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No I did not vandalise Wikipedia so I could cite it in support of my incorrect spelling, whyever do you ask?
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I didn't know you misspelled it.
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An electric piano that only plays C#
(The firmware will be programmed in, obviously, Go)
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@Lorne Kates said:
An electric piano that only plays C#
(The firmware will be programmed in, obviously, Dart)
FTFY
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Invent gaydar machine. Although you have to give them credit, I think, for calling it the Fruit Machine. Minus credit to the author for implying that Communists infiltrating government agencies during the Cold War wasn't bad for national security.
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@joe.edwards said:
@ekolis said:
Cow Chips: hearty new beef-flavored snacks from Frito-Lay!Computer chip flavored potato chips
Potato chip flavored computer chips
Chocolate chip computer chips
Computer chip cookies
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@da Doctah said:
Cow Chips: hearty new beef-flavored snacks from Frito-Lay!
Cow chips: From cows. For cows. Now with extra BSE!
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@boomzilla said:
Minus credit to the author for implying that Communists infiltrating government agencies during the Cold War wasn't bad for national security.
No.. please.. I can't stand another argument with the Euro-twats right now, listening to them tell us that Stalin just wanted to give everyone in world a kitten and it was just evil US corporations which tried to stop the glorious Marxist-Leninist revolution of the people..
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@morbiuswilters said:
No.. please.. I can't stand another argument with the Euro-twats right now, listening to them tell us that Stalin just wanted to give everyone in world a kitten and it was just evil US corporations which tried to stop the glorious Marxist-Leninist revolution of the people..
But...but....Alger Hiss was innocent!
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An alternate reality where Karl Marx and Richard Stallman are not the same person.
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@boomzilla said:
@morbiuswilters said:
No.. please.. I can't stand another argument with the Euro-twats right now, listening to them tell us that Stalin just wanted to give everyone in world a kitten and it was just evil US corporations which tried to stop the glorious Marxist-Leninist revolution of the people..
But...but....Alger Hiss was innocent!
And the Rosenbergs weren't selling nuclear secrets to Stalin--they were just patriotic Americans falsely accused and murdered!
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@boomzilla said:
The Constitutional Right to Goat Love
Must be a coincidence that it's not far from Ben L.
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@boomzilla said:
Hahahahaha, I'm just sad that it wasn't a dumbass tourist again (though it does make me question how long he has lived there, most of us have pretty good tolerance so the "he'd been drinking" doesn't really work as an explanation).
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@locallunatic said:
though it does make me question how long he has lived there, most of us have pretty good tolerance so the "he'd been drinking" doesn't really work as an explanation
My scientific study of 'Alaska State Troopers' re-runs tells me that quantity often overcomes any tolerance issues.
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This one is particularly amusing. The author is pretty clueless, and so are many commenters. Some of the useful idiots try to flesh out how such a scheme would work to get undesirable jobs completed, and end up recreating some combination of feudal villeins and Maoist Cultural Revolution like that was a good thing.
The level of self absorption and cluelessness of supporters of such a thing is just mind blowing. @TFA said:"Imagine the creativity, innovation and enterprise that would be unleashed if every citizen were guaranteed a living. Universal income provides the material basis for a fuller development of human potential."
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Basic income for everyone is the kind of thing that you propose as a 5-year-old when you're first exposed to some aspects of economy, like where your parents go every day and why things cost money.
And then you grow up, and find that money is just a means to express some subjective idea of value.
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@dhromed said:
And then you grow up, and find that money is just a means to express some subjective idea of value.
Too bad not everyone grows up. Hell, by that criterion, most people don't. Including many sitting Congressmen.
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@DrBen said:
Including many sitting Congressmen.
They should take a page out of agile development and conduct all sessions and hearings of Congress standing up. Lawmaking would improve almost immediately.
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@boomzilla said:
They should take a page out of agile development and conduct all sessions and hearings of Congress standing up. Lawmaking would improve almost immediately.
Yeah, but can you imagine all the legislation Big Seat would ram through? "S.B. 489: A free sofa for every US family... All in favor? Okay, it's unanimous, just like 'Free lawnchairs for every US family' and 'Public benches every 5 feet of sidewalk'.."
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@boomzilla said:
Wishing that your great grandmother had the services of Planned Parenthood available when she was an unwed teenager and pregnant with your grandmother.
Well, I can't disagree with her on that one.
Is it just me or are a lot of left-wingers full of suicidal ideation? It's like "We're miserable and don't want to be alive, but we're stuck here, so we're going to make you wish you weren't alive, too!"
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A massively multiplayer online game where you can't control your character directly - you have to write an AI program to control him/her.
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@joe.edwards said:
A massively multiplayer online game where you can't control your character directly - you have to write an AI program to control him/her.
An MMORPG where you control a character other than the one the camera follows.
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@joe.edwards said:
A massively multiplayer online game where you can't control your character directly - you have to write an AI program to control him/her.
I don't know, this idea kind of fascinates me, in the sense that the game is playing itself. I'm thinking basically a MUD or maybe roguelike, all the characters are NPCs, each of them trying to carry out some goal (eke out a living, rob banks, catch bank robbers). Each NPC or object is a program that responds to events like "tick" (once per turn), "talk", "attack", etc. Rather than solve the halting problem, event handlers that time out will forfeit that response, and its character will be penalized.
Also, actions cost some kind of stamina or action points that regenerate over time.
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And as long as the game is properly balanced (for computers) it could be a nice exercise in AI. You could have several teams competing with each other, etc.
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@joe.edwards said:
A massively multiplayer online game where you can't control your character directly - you have to write an AI program to control him/her.
That actually sounds really cool. VF4 had a feature where you could take a bot into a training session and fight with it. It would learn based off of what moves/techniques you showed it, and then you could use it to fight other bots. There was even a reward/punishment system, where you could give your bot feedback on whether or not it was doing well. It was at least moderately entertaining.
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@Snowyowl said:
FOOF filled life jackets@Ben L. said:
@dhromed said:
@Snowyowl said:
Helium life jackets.
Hydrogen gas life jackets.
Chlorine gas life jackets.
Iron filings life jackets.
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@El_Heffe said:
@Snowyowl said:
FOOF filled life jackets@Ben L. said:
@dhromed said:
@Snowyowl said:
Helium life jackets.
Hydrogen gas life jackets.
Chlorine gas life jackets.
Iron filings life jackets.
Life jacket life jackets, for when you're drowning in life jackets.
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@Lorne Kates said:
@El_Heffe said:
@Snowyowl said:
FOOF filled life jackets@Ben L. said:
@dhromed said:
@Snowyowl said:
Helium life jackets.
Hydrogen gas life jackets.
Chlorine gas life jackets.
Iron filings life jackets.
Life jacket life jackets, for when you're drowning in life jackets.
But what if you drown in life jacket life jackets?
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@joe.edwards said:
@Lorne Kates said:
@El_Heffe said:
@Snowyowl said:
FOOF filled life jackets@Ben L. said:
@dhromed said:
@Snowyowl said:
Helium life jackets.
Hydrogen gas life jackets.
Chlorine gas life jackets.
Iron filings life jackets.
Life jacket life jackets, for when you're drowning in life jackets.
But what if you drown in life jacket life jackets?
ask a metametadjinn!
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Mothers love their children the same way Winston loved Big Brother.
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@bgodot said:
Mothers love their children the same way Winston loved Big Brother.
Mothers who love their children the same way Winston loved his job.
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@joe.edwards said:
@Ben L. said:
ask a metametadjinn!
Man. I don't know if I can read through another Hofstadter book.I'd have read this by now if it was available for Kindle. Which it still isn't. I was going to give it a try.
There are pirate PDFs available but no one seems to want to shut up and take my money.
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Offering to exorcise vagina ghosts with your penis.
Tempting, though.
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This post contains a image.
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Forgetting where you put your booby traps:
A 50-year-old town man died Saturday after he apparently became the victim of booby traps he had set to protect marijuana plants on his property, Albany County Sheriff Craig D. Apple said.
...Ricketts was driving an ATV in the backyard of his property around 2:30 p.m. Saturday when was nearly decapitated after running into a fine, nearly invisible wire that was among the fortifications set up around four large marijuana plants, Apple said.