Nobody shares Drunk better than this.
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@Maciejasjmj said in Nobody shares Drunk better than this.:
I suppose it's some sort of subconscious association - drunk sex is not something you usually do with your wife after a long day of work and thinking of England.
Well, I hum the Star Spangled Banner and think about baseball, but why not? What have you got against drunk wives?
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@lucas1 the fuck are you talking about, I used to wake up like that every day for a couple years, drunk or not
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@blek said in Nobody shares Drunk better than this.:
@lucas1 the fuck are you talking about, I used to wake up like that every day for a couple years, drunk or not
Apparently @lucas1 is fully clothed whenever he becomes unconscious.
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@Tsaukpaetra Anyone who's fully clothed when they fall unconscious. I mean, at least take your watch off or something, don't be an animal!
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@lucas1 said in Nobody shares Drunk better than this.:
You guys are shit at being drunk.
I woke up this morning with only my boxer shorts on while lying on the sofa have no idea why.First you tell us we suck at being drunk, then you tell us you woke up on your own sofa? Ha, amateur!!!
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@asdf Oh, good point. I once woke up on a park bench, with a bloodhound that someone was walking in said park licking my still drunk face. Imagine you wake up with feeling sick, cold, and sore from lying on a park bench for a few hours, and the first thing you see is this:
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@asdf I woke up without knowing where my trousers were (which contain my access to money in my own house). I think I had a bit of a panic attack. My sister suffers from them badly. I just spaz out and have one every few months.
I used to have horrible nightmares of failing uni because I didn't do my dissertation in the dream. I woke up a lot of times having to tell myself "don't worry you have a degree and it was 4 years ago, you passed". I actually spoke to a guy today with a similar nightmare.
I woke up once so drunk I phoned my boss ... I said "I am too drunk to order a taxi in Spanish" while speaking Spanish.
I also passed out once at a party (due to a spiked drink I think) and ended up sleeping on a sunbed (past 5pm thank god). I then woke up with people shouting around me and stopped a fight between my mate and his girlfriend's brother.
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@blek I once woke up behind my friend's sofa, which stood directly next to the wall, so there was no way I could have fallen down there; I must have crawled into that space somehow. Took me half an hour to figure out where I am (I was still pretty drunk) and another ten minutes to get out of there. He was really relieved when he saw me, since he had woken up before me and searched the whole house and the garden. (It was around -15C outside, so there's no way I would have survived sleeping on a bench or something…)
@lucas1 said in Nobody shares Drunk better than this.:
I woke up once so drunk I phoned my boss ... I said "I am too drunk to order a taxi in Spanish" while speaking Spanish.
Side note: Why is it so much easier to talk in foreign languages when you're drunk?
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@asdf said in Nobody shares Drunk better than this.:
I once woke up behind my friend's sofa, which stood directly next to the wall
Are you a cat?
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@asdf said in Nobody shares Drunk better than this.:
Why is it so much easier to talk in foreign languages when you're drunk?
I think it's because you tend to overthink foreign languages. Like, when you speak your primary language, your language center just translates thoughts into the right words automatically, but when you try to remember a word in another language, it's the same as trying to remember someone's phone number you barely know: mentally taxing. So if you just let the language center do the work, it comes out easier.
Just a theory though.
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Why is it so much easier to talk in foreign languages when you're drunk?
I dunno. I think I am not worried about being wrong and just speak. I ended up with Spanish Girlfriend for a bit with my appalling Spanish.
Seriously there was this attractive girl that speaks a bit of Spanish and she studied it. I was with my rubbish Spanish running rings around her and honest to god with have a native Spanish speaker in the office and he was just laughing his tits off on how I was butchering his language.
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@asdf said in Nobody shares Drunk better than this.:
I once woke up behind my friend's sofa
I once woke up behind local barracks.
It's fun when you open your eyes, stand up with some difficulty, and the first thing you see is a sign saying "MILITARY PROPERTY - ENTRY STRICTLY FORBIDDEN".
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@blek said in Nobody shares Drunk better than this.:
Are you a cat?
There was just enough space for a human being to lie there. The sofa was not rectangular, but had an angled back rest.
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I think we have established I am the drunk with the biggest mouth, not the biggest exploits
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@Yamikuronue I call bollox.
You tend to be more confident on making mistakes and being fine with it, and people tend to correct you politely. I had a chat with a kickboxer (I used to do boxing) and my English girlfriend at the time said "how do you understand that guy" .... me "I box, he boxes and I got what he was saying". A lot of communication is body language, I only understood 40% of the convo but I understood what he was saying to me.
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@Maciejasjmj said in Nobody shares Drunk better than this.:
I once woke up behind local barracks.
Abandoned barracks or barracks that were still in use? I've been to quite a few nice clubs located on abandoned military property…
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@asdf said in Nobody shares Drunk better than this.:
Abandoned barracks or barracks that were still in use? I've been to quite a few nice clubs located on abandoned military property…
From what I know, still in use. Also some five kilometers from the last pub I remember.
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@lucas1 Oi! This is a drunk thread, not depression thread. Don't be that kind of drunk.
It reminds me, though... 2 weeks ago I was spending the weekend with some friends at a cottage. Obviously large amounts of alcohol were involved. Sometime around 1 AM I checked my pockets and realized I couldn't find my car keys. Which was a pretty big fucking problem because we had just enough cars there to get everyone home, and on top of that I was supposed to drive our blind friend home - don't get me wrong, he's impressively self-sufficient, but I'd still feel bad just sending to a bus, and he lives on the other side of the city so I'd waste at least an hour getting him home and then going back to my place. And then a couple more hours getting back to the cottage to pick up my car.
I seriously could not, for the life of me, find those keys, I checked everywhere. Now, this cottage is really interesting in that it's next to a river, and the only access road wide enough for a car to go through is on the other side of that river. So what you do is drive up to the opposite side and then take this tiny motorboat across. Which is great, because then you have a tiny motorboat to drive around the river drunk as fuck... but I digress.
I knew that earlier we went back to the parking spot to pick up some stuff we forgot in my car's trunk, so I thought maybe I lost the keys there - so I made my friend go with me (the boat really needs 2 people). Didn't find them. Now, I'm not the kind of person to get a panic attack, so eventually I just went with the flow and decided to leave the search to the morning - and went to sleep, @lucas1 style, in my boxers, on the couch (in a sleeping bag).
Now, IMAGINE MY FUCKING SURPRISE WHEN I WAKE UP IN THE MORNING, GRAB MY TROUSERS, AND THE FUCKING KEYS FALL OUT OF MY POCKET. They were there the entire time, but I was so drunk I couldn't find them. In my own fucking pocket.
(Also the saga continued when I spent an additional hour looking for my watch that I took off before going to sleep, but you get the idea.)
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@Yamikuronue For me it's actually often easier to express myself in English...
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@blek said in Nobody shares Drunk better than this.:
(the boat really needs 2 people)
And the wolf will eat the sheep, and the sheep will eat the cabbage?
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@Maciejasjmj Nobody eats the cabbage because nobody wants to turn the cottage into a gas chamber.
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@blek said in Nobody shares Drunk better than this.:
@lucas1 Oi! This is a drunk thread, not depression thread. Don't be that kind of drunk.
I wasn't being depressed I was joking about my own shit and talking honestly.
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@blek said in Nobody shares Drunk better than this.:
They were there the entire time, but I was so drunk I couldn't find them.
I think I already told the story about me and my old Siemens phone in some other thread. TL;DR: When you're really drunk, you can actually manage not to find the contact list on one of those old phones with a giant button.
At least you didn't actually lose your car keys that day. One pair of keys to our old family car (this was when I was still living with my parents) is still lying 5m under an intersection in my home town, because I fell into the foundation pit on my way back from a bar.
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@asdf said in Nobody shares Drunk better than this.:
I fell into the foundation pit
I admit defeat - I don't think I can top that :-D
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@lucas1 Sure, OK, but I wanted to be a part of the cool crowd and hate on you a bit... *sadface*
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it no problem man.
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@blek In my defense, the construction site had not been there the last time I had walked alongside that road a week before and there was no barrier on the sidewalk. I was really lucky that I landed on soil and not on steel bars or something similar.
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@asdf Lucky, sure, but imagine all the cool scars you could have had if you actually fell on exposed rebar!
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@blek said in Nobody shares Drunk better than this.:
imagine all the cool scars you could have had if you actually fell on exposed rebar
Thanks, but no thanks, I don't want to impale myself for that. Especially since I already have enough scars from stupid accidents, one of which is on my face, clearly visible to everyone. ;)
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NO NO. I got enough injuries cycling to and from work sober.
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@lucas1 said in Nobody shares Drunk better than this.:
I got enough injuries cycling to and from work sober.
^ This. Half of my scars, including the one on my face, are from cycling accidents that happened while I was sober.
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@asdf I ride a single speed and most of it was just hitting manholes (lol sure there is a lots of gay jokes there).
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@Yamikuronue said in Nobody shares Drunk better than this.:
@asdf said in Nobody shares Drunk better than this.:
I'm better at math when I'm slightly drunk
I'm better at sex while slightly drunk :D
I have more frequent sex because of alcohol. I've read somewhere that semen produces antidepressant chemicals and that people who have sex more frequently live longer.
If I am too far gone...I can't finish (I still enjoy the ride of almost)...if my husband is too far gone...he finishes too soon.
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@Yamikuronue said in Nobody shares Drunk better than this.:
@xaade That could be it, but the effect I'm talking about seems legit enough: it helps me relax and get out of my head a bit, and lowers my filters a bit, so I end up trying things and saying things I would normally just think about and be too embarrassed to bring up.
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@Yamikuronue said in Nobody shares Drunk better than this.:
I have a hard time parsing what you're talking about a lot of the time.
It is quite easy!
#define xaade //
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@blek said in Nobody shares Drunk better than this.:
Alright, I've had 4 beers so far and I have 8 more in the fridge. AMA.
Just don't have sex after that amount. That's not what @Yamikuronue and @asdf were talking about. ;)
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@Maciejasjmj said in Nobody shares Drunk better than this.:
@asdf said in Nobody shares Drunk better than this.:
I once woke up behind my friend's sofa
I once woke up behind local barracks.
It's fun when you open your eyes, stand up with some difficulty, and the first thing you see is a sign saying "MILITARY PROPERTY - ENTRY STRICTLY FORBIDDEN".
It would be more fun if you saw a blank sign. You know, being on the other side.
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@asdf said in Nobody shares Drunk better than this.:
@blek said in Nobody shares Drunk better than this.:
They were there the entire time, but I was so drunk I couldn't find them.
I think I already told the story about me and my old Siemens phone in some other thread. TL;DR: When you're really drunk, you can actually manage not to find the contact list on one of those old phones with a giant button.
At least you didn't actually lose your car keys that day. One pair of keys to our old family car (this was when I was still living with my parents) is still lying 5m under an intersection in my home town, because I fell into the foundation pit on my way back from a bar.
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On Wisconsin!
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@boomzilla I have been to two of the top ten cities, then.