Installing phpBB
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So I am setting up a forum for a site I administer. I decide on phpBB. Can you fucking believe the process I went through to get it installed:
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google for phpbb download
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"click the huge orange button to the left"
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google pbpbb install - https://www.phpbb.com/community/docs/INSTALL.html
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uncompress .zip
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copy to subdirctory on site
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go to install page
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it does a compat checklist
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give it existing db user/pass combo
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it works!
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create admin username/password
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advanced settings - mail username/pw
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done - db created
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login as admin
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told to move or delete install directory
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done. It's installed, just configure and do plugins and shit
Total time: less than 30 minutes
?!? I mean jesus fuck where the hell are the Dockers? Where's the VM? Why didn't it take me 2+ weeks? How come I didn't need the creator of the software to tell me how I'm using it incorrectly?
No. No this won't do at all.
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It was so easy to install that I actually had it running on my own website when I was 12 years old, with no help from anybody else. Keep in mind I barely understood how to use a computer when I was 12, much less install forum software...
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@Lorne_Kates said:
Total time: less than 30 minutes
By which time your installation was already pwned 3 times, probably.
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@Lorne_Kates said:
Total time: less than 30 minutes
By which time your installation was already pwned 3 times, probably.
It's the latest version, so give it 45 minutes.
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@Lorne_Kates said:
It's the latest version, so give it 45 minutes.
I'd even bump it to 47, the latest release is strictly security-oriented.
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@Lorne_Kates said:
Total time: less than 30 minutes
?!? I mean jesus fuck where the hell are the Dockers? Where's the VM? Why didn't it take me 2+ weeks? How come I didn't need the creator of the software to tell me how I'm using it incorrectly?
No. No this won't do at all.
apt-get install phpbb3
just wasn't doing it for you?
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apt-get install phpbb3
just wasn't doing it for you?I think it wouldn't work. He'd have to do
urpmi phpbb
and that would pull an extremely obsolete version.
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apt-get install phpbb3 just wasn't doing it for you?
nooooope.
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phpbb+windows
Can it get any worse?
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phpbb+windows
Can it get any worse?
http://i.imgur.com/O6qrZ25.png
(In all fairness, this is just the dev server-- the prod server is on a proper VPS)
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@Lorne_Kates said:
(In all fairness, this is just the dev server--
RUN AWAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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Here's two nickels, kid. Get a new CPU when you get rid of that creaking XP.
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You took that screenshot 7 years ago, right?
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You took that screenshot 7 years ago, right?
http://i.imgur.com/nqsid4t.png
Here's two nickels, kid. Get a new CPU when you get rid of that creaking XP.
Sweet, now I can afford @boomzilla's mom TWICE!
Filed under: At least I have SP3 installed
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You took that screenshot 7 years ago but inexplicably set the clock forward by 7 years when you did, right?
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You took that screenshot 7 years ago but inexplicably set the clock forward by 7 years when you did, right?
In the offchance that I would need it for a forum post in seven years for a forum that I wasn't even a member of yet?
Yes.
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Also:
http://i.imgur.com/H0J2R3w.png
(I blanked out the serial number so no one pirates my license and causes XP to fail the Windows Genuine check... owait)
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Oh come on, that's obviously Photoshopped.
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Are you hosting this with WampServer in prod?
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47
Have a like. Because I'm the only one that has a weird love for that number it's likely to be your only one. Well, on those grounds at least.
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Because I'm the only one that has a weird love for that number
Yeah, wanted 42, but it didn't fit.
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@Lorne_Kates said:
Total time: less than 30 minutes
This is to make up for all the time you’ll spend chasing around the settings to find the one you want to change that you know you’ve seen before but can’t for the life of you remember where it is, and/or the settings that appear to be available in several different locations but which don’t quite seem to do the same thing or turn out to be the ones you want at all.
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I used to know a xp serial by heart. K4HVD something
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@Lorne_Kates said:
?!? I mean jesus fuck where the hell are the Dockers? Where's the VM? Why didn't it take me 2+ weeks? How come I didn't need the creator of the software to tell me how I'm using it incorrectly?
No. No this won't do at all.
This is simply because you chose to go the old school, unsupported and very risky way of installing a software.
Here are some steps you need to consider if you want your forum to almost work after 10+ days of fiddeling about.
1.) Get rid of Windows XP:
Let's face it, your copy of Windows XP SP3 is very insecure. They said so on the radio. You need to switch to a more secure version of Windows. We reccomend Windows 98. This is a very secure version because nobody uses it and therefor there are no viruses. Also, we once used it for 5 minutes on my grandmas computer without internet connection and we couldn't find a virus!2,) Get a VM with a Linux distribution
This step is vital in case some smart asses in a forum you frequent ask about the operating system you are on. Remember, Windows 98 is only secure because you are the only person smart enough to use it.
The easiest way to handle this is to create a Virtual Machine running a Linux distro.
So if the forum users ask, you can simply say: "I am runningWindows 98I meanUbuntuArch-Linux with a kernel I had to compile myself."
After that you can post a screenshot of a terminal you have open. Nobody can see what Linux version you have if all they see is a terminal.3.) Find yourself a docker-image of PHPBB
Docker is all the rage. Somebody HAS to have uploaded a docker image that is totally virus free and has all you need for your phpbb goodness.
If it doesn't exist, just post your problem on a known hacker forum. These guys will be able to give you the docker image in no time!4.) rename some folders
Vital security step. If the attacker doesn't know you renamed your admin/ folder to amdin/ he can't hack it. Simple as that. If you don't know how to make code unreadable / unmaintainable / a mess, feel free to go to http://meta.discourse.com to ask for free advice.5.) Install Discourse
super vital step. Has multiple advantages:
a) everybody trying to hack PHPBB will be thrown off.
b) you need a new docker image.
c) it's free so code quality doesn't matter
d) You can talk to Codinghorror about your new product
e) Discourse MAY replace e-mail according to a very trustworthy source.And there you go. Got your perfect PHPBB installation in just 5 weeks.
Filed Under: For more helpful tricks visit http://what.thedailywtf.com
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After that you can post a screenshot of a terminal you have open.
You're You missed some vital steps like making a photo, faxing, obtaining a wooden table, a printing machine, developing your own typeface with rubies.
Man, are you unprofessional!
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rubies
You fool! Only recently have we learned that ruby ist actually really slow. It's all ruby and not discourse being a broken pos.
Also, you are a fool once more for suggesting the steps as you did.
If you used a camera, a fax machine, a wooden table and a printer, it's like announcing to the world that you want to get robbed.
I sure as he'll hope the op doesn't listen to your downright stupid Internet opinion! Next time, try to do some heavy research like me, before you endanger unsuspecting, nice forum users!Filed under : that being said, what do you think of desktop search for the masses?
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@Lorne_Kates said:
So I am setting up a forum for a site I administer. I decide on phpBB.
You should have chosen something like http://www.t3k4.com !
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Vital security step. If the attacker doesn't know you renamed your admin/ folder to amdin/ he can't hack it.
True brillance!
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Or, maybe, translate all endpoint names to Polish or something.
Filed under: We secure your sites by running the source code through Google Translate!
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Prawdziwa równowaga
Filed under : works
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But what if you get hit by a Polish virus?
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Prawdziwa równowaga
Went to translate that, Google defaulted to translating to Esperanto
But what if you get hit by a Polish virus?
Wouldn't work, I wouldn't know how to spell "delete" in Polish.
Filed under: 500 Internal Server Error. Which wasn't OK!
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You should have chosen something like http://www.t3k4.com !
How ironic, when I clicked on the "Discourse sucks" topic, I got this:
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Filed under : Google is not too sure about this one](#tag)Addendum: wait billance ?
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It actually did translate "true balance" for you because of the typo. "True brillance" would be... uh... "Prawdziwa błyskotliwość"?
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I think your lemon downloads cannot be edited.
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Prawdziwy blask
Apparently
Filed under :polished that search
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Why did you bother posting a screenshot of Windows 10?
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"True brillance" would be... uh... "Prawdziwa błyskotliwość"?
I'd go (especially in this context) for wyjątkowo błyskotliwe. Otherwise it just sounds akward.
Btw, I was watching with my father Roman Polanski Wanted and Desired the other night and he needed subtitles, but the version we bought! didn't provide them. Unfortunately, I could only find ones that not only were out of sync, but were also made using Google Translate. There were a lot of funny things there, but the funniest one was that it treated name Roman in the meaning of Rome (rzymski, in Polish). Rzymski Polański's stil gives me a chuckle.
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Pleased to meet you, mr. Polanski Jr.
Fuck, if my mother asks, I was killed by Manson.
Oh, wait!
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wyjątkowo błyskotliwe
That would be "truly brilliant". Wrong part of speech.
Rzymski Polański
I used to be convinced that the Zorba dance comes from a movie about a guy named Greg Zorba.
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That would be "truly brilliant". Wrong part of speech
Wrong part, but good translation. You know this (Polish?) saying: that translations are like women: beautiful aren't faithful and faithful aren't beautiful.
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@Lorne_Kates said:
Sweet, now I can afford @boomzilla's mom TWICE!
Wow, Christmas is gonna be awesome this year!
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@Lorne_Kates said:
?!? I mean jesus fuck where the hell are the Dockers? Where's the VM? Why didn't it take me 2+ weeks?
I know right? It's like it comes from some kind of parallel universe where you can copy a program into a computer and it just runs. How crazy is that?!