Sales Pitch-Driven Development
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@accalia said:
Kaarl can tell the difference
As long as Long Jim is around with the button for the chock collar I'm not worried.
didn't you hear? Long Jim got collared by the police last month. he's sitting in the county lockup waiting for his trial date.
DA says they're going to try for the death penalty, but i doubt Jim will live to see the trial me. He sold out too many people to survive in prison long.
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@accalia said:
county lockup
Isn't that where Short Jim is too?
nah. Short Jim went down in the arrest. A stray bullet got him in the heart.
his funeral was last week, and i distinctly remember seeing you there. have you forgotten already?
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his funeral was last week
I think you are mixing up Short Jim and Short John. Last weeks funeral was Short John. I had a thing with his sister for a time. Right before she started drinking from the furry cup.
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I think you are mixing up Short Jim and Short John.
ah. you're right there. my mistake.
. Right before she started drinking from the furry cup.
she ran off and joined the circus after that, didn't she?
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Yeah, so about that sales pitch driven development...
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I think we need some Jeffing here...
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Did you see her Lion act? Impressive!
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Did you see her Lion act? Impressive!
I did see it. it was pretty good, but not near as good as Lucy's Lynx act last year.
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I missed that one! Too bad she won't be performing that any time soon.
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I missed that one! Too bad she won't be performing that any time soon.
yeah, the Minx voted her out of the troupe five stops ago.
They had some sort of falling out i heard.
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She shouldn't have slept with Johnny.
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Yeah, so about that sales pitch driven development...
"Look, I'm saying that ALL..."
Err...wrong thread, sorry.
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I document the shit out of everything! If you insist on telling me something in person or over the phone, imma immediately send a "confirmation email" out on what I understand the information given was.
Company I'm at insists that as much communication as possible happen only through calls or meetings. The reason? Discoverability (not a discopaedia term). If you write in a mail "I can't have this done in the time you promised the client", and the client sues you, they can have the court request relevant mails and basically auto win. That is at the slimiest end. At the other end, a developer might use lawyerly language that is wrong or exaggerated, but is treated as if the developer knew what he was talking about in a lawsuit.
So it's safest for the company to not have anything in writing. Yay.
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Our group is completely opposite. Not only do they encourage emails, you must put the project number in the subject line so that they can blast it out to all team members and upper management. If the email is not related to a project it still gets forwarded to most/all management.
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Of course, on this particular incident, the VP over the team responsible for producing the documentation and reviewing the output and took the material loss has dodged all attempts to discuss the actual problem (Which for the record is "We gave you exactly what you asked for. And then you lied.") and has had the balls to say "I don't think the actual cause is relevant to who's going to pay for it".
Yeaaaaah ... it sounds like it is time to start interviewing while taking long lunches, and bail out hard. Bonus points for walking out on your last day after giving them no notice, and doing the Cartman double bird flip without looking back, on your way out. Extra bonus points for saying, "screw you guys, I'm going home." As you do it ;)
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Extra bonus points for saying, "screw you guys, I'm going home." As you do it
I did actually say that on my last day at my previous job
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The joy is waiting to quit until the boss yells at you so you can tell him to fuck off because he's a piece of shit.
Yup, this. If I have decided to bail out of a toxic place (has happened to me twice so far), I immediately secure new employment, and as soon as the new place is ready for me, the company itself decides how hard I quit. If they are in-my-face assholes, then my inner Cartman comes out :D
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Actually, that may not work depending on what kind of boss you have.
I've met a few bosses who respond by saying that they have tons on email everyday so that they can't inspect every mail they see, and they bite back by saying that it's they trust me to correctly interpret their word on the meeting as my job and he'd become very upset that I failed him on that.
Needless to say, I didn't work there long...
I have never faced that particular cognitive dissonance in a manager before, but if I did, I would be looking for a new position pronto, and planning my exit. You don't have time to read my emails? I don't have time to work for you. How's that for time management, asshole?
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I did actually say that on my last day at my previous job
I love you <3
Agreed. That's why I leave later. But I also consider it's my responsibility to press for clarification when being sent a unclear requirement.
If it's indeed a problem caused by unclear requirement instead of shifting requirement, I have no problem in accepting it's my fault.
@Cheong, it sounds like you are having a bit of Stockholm syndrome here. Get out while you can, buddy. It'll be OK. Sometimes the devil you know isn't better than the unknown.
I wish I could say I wasn't familiar with SPDD, but there it is. On more than one occasion I had a company owner (these were small companies, of course) tell me that they'd already been paid for a product that was absolutely impossible to implement - as in, no amount of time or money could make it work, violates-causality level BS - and that I had to have it working by Friday or the company would go under. Ugh.
@ScholRLEA, I was in a similar boat in my last office. They had bought some crappy CRM thing without involving the technical staff, and decided to build up their entire everyone on top of it (ignoring the fact that the CRM platform wasn't meant do to that), and came to me demanding I implement security for it, and to start working with it, and helping them integrate their existing (old as shit) crap on top of it. I think I actually may have broken the sound barrier with how fast I reached for my phone to dial up a friend to get the hell out of there o_O
Company I'm at insists that as much communication as possible happen only through calls or meetings. The reason? Discoverability (not a discopaedia term). If you write in a mail "I can't have this done in the time you promised the client", and the client sues you, they can have the court request relevant mails and basically auto win. That is at the slimiest end. At the other end, a developer might use lawyerly language that is wrong or exaggerated, but is treated as if the developer knew what he was talking about in a lawsuit.
So it's safest for the company to not have anything in writing. Yay.
@Kian, yeah ... no ... as soon as I hear a company tell me they don't want me putting things in writing in case they get sued in the future, I am afraid I am going to need to head for the hills shortly after that. I will, of course, as I leave, send myself an e-mail documenting the SHIT out of everything that had been going on there so far, and BCC my non-work account on it as well. Then I would send a tip to whatever regulatory body most applied to that company that they were in need of a good auditing :D
Our group is completely opposite. Not only do they encourage emails, you must put the project number in the subject line so that they can blast it out to all team members and upper management. If the email is not related to a project it still gets forwarded to most/all management.
@brianw13a, and that is why I don't ever want to have the word "manager" in my title, in any way. I can ignore that crap HARD as a developer. My PMs can handle that crap -- it's what they are paid for, after all ;)
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Medium Johnny is the fluffy one?
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Management: you did? Well, can't remember any of it.
"I can't remember misleading you. Dick." - things devs would like to say.
I document the shit out of everything!
I actually come across people still who use terms such as "issue-management is a tool of oppression". In this case the person is slightly older than me and I realise I must have seen more shit-filled trenches than him.
I'm in my early 30s. Is this normal?
People are dropping out of this company like flies (including me) and somehow I'm more seasoned than somebody else here. I thought I was relatively sweet and innocent.
The joy is waiting to quit until the boss yells at you so you can tell him to fuck off because he's a piece of shit.
I had a colleague who handed in their notice shortly after the boss acted in this way, and dropped him name a lot in the exit interview. A bit less dramatic I guess.
Been there, done that.
I feel like it needs a short colloquialism for it. CYA and SPDD don't seem to cover how management 'forgot' things and it's the devs fault for having less clout.
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Wasn't that James?
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I actually come across people still who use terms such as "issue-management is a tool of oppression". In this case the person is slightly older than me and I realise I must have seen more shit-filled trenches than him.
I'm in my early 30s. Is this normal?
He sounds like a crazy hippie / hipster. Not really normal, but all too common.
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Not really normal, but all too common.
paradox?
Normal is what is common.
If 100 years from now, everyone is a hunchback, and there's 1 person born upright. The upright person will have the disease.
At best they'll be viewed as the physiological parallel of a savant.
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@boomzilla said:
Not really normal, but all too common.
paradox?
Normal is what is common.
If 100 years from now, everyone is a hunchback, and there's 1 person born upright. The upright person will have the disease.
But the phrase "too common" just says that it happens more than it should, in the opinion of the speaker.
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But the phrase "too common" just says that it happens more than it should, in the opinion of the speaker.
I'm not good with figures of speech.
They go over my head, and my reflexes are too slow to catch them.
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he couldn't be arsed to sign the marriage certificate with his full name? that's sad
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Ugh, RaceProUK changed her username to Luhmann.
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I just give up on my old nick
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Apparently a great way to russle blakeys Jimmie's
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Oh, right, carry on then.
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@Cheong, it sounds like you are having a bit of Stockholm syndrome here. Get out while you can, buddy. It'll be OK. Sometimes the devil you know isn't better than the unknown.
Maybe, but I consider it's professional's quality to check what you have on hand before you go ahead to plan or build. If you did the checking and found something is missing or isn't in place, you have to ask.That's one of the reasons why they should pay veterans more than others, besides having reality-proofed skill level and often much faster coding speed.
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Apparently a great way to russle blakeys Jimmie's
Not that great. And he was just saying what the rest of us were thinking.
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Management only cares about stuff that gets them fresh profit. Everything else is a burden. That's why terms such as "technical debt" exist.
The great thing about technical debt is that like real debt, it has compounding interest, and if not addressed, it will eventually ensure that nothing in the system can ever change because the "system" is a rat's nest of last-minute hacks.
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he couldn't be arsed to sign the marriage certificate with his full name? that's sad
what do you mean? he did sign with his full name.
Jonathon MacDavidson X.
we're pretty sure his parents mixed up the middle initial and last name fields on his birth certificate.... but he won't talk about that so it's mostly a giess.
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If 100 years from now, everyone is a hunchback, and there's 1 person born upright. The upright person will have the disease.
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So I can rustle your jimmie's too?
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Jonathon
Really? His full name is Jonathon? I didn't know that. Wait until I tell the boys about that one.
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Where the fuck is that from?
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Really? His full name is Jonathon? I didn't know that. Wait until I tell the boys about that one.
yeah, he really hates being called by his full name though. goes off in a huff and sulks for days if you call him by his real name.