TIL I'm autistic
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Maybe I am overreacting, but there's no excuse for someone to blaze into a thread and accuse someone of inventing a real medical condition.
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Because he's like a girl who got an iPhone 5 instead of 6 on her 16th birthday, and now screams her life is over and her parents never loved her. While, next door, a father beats the shit out of his kid for not bringing him beer fast enough.
As I said in the OCD argument - by claiming you have an illness that disables millions of people from having a normal life just on the basis that you can't do one largely irrelevant thing, you're basically sticking the middle finger to every person in those millions.
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He's overreacting for sure. I might sound overly accusative, but it's fully intended. I wish I'd have had someone to yell at me at one point during my teenage years.
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The thread kind of started with "I have arbitrarily decided I have a medical condition based on WebMD". It's not like it's a stretch.
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Because he's like a girl who got an iPhone 5 instead of 6 on her 16th birthday, and now screams her life is over and her parents never loved her.
So later on, when he says it's not really affecting him all that much, that was him crying out to be treated like a special snowflake?
@Yamikuronue said:The thread kind of started with "I have arbitrarily decided I have a medical condition based on WebMD". It's not like it's a stretch.
It's not an excuse to treat him like scum either.
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and accuse someone of inventing a real medical condition.
I thought he clarified that he didn't mean to say that autism was fictional ...I might sound overly accusative, but it's fully intended.
You still kind of sound like an asshole.
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I'm going to repeat it once more and that's it: He created a topic on a public message board to talk about the medical diagnosis he just came up for himself. That's all the information you need.
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Then what's the point of the OP?
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if we isolate environmental factors that are contributing to his condition, he could get better,
How old is he? We noticed by 2 or so our son wasn't looking at people in the eye when talking to them, and made a point of always telling him "look at me" when talking to him. Later, when he was diagnosed with Aspergers, the doctor said that was probably the best thing we could have done.
I know a woman with an autistic son who, after he was diagnosed, realized he had been doing the same thing--not meeting people's eyes when talking to them, from an early age.
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You still kind of sound like an asshole.
At this point I don't care what I sound like. If you think telling someone they should stop trying to pretend to be a special snowflake is being an asshole, more power to you. I'm beyond caring about my reputation in an internet messageboard.
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It's probably from when they injected you with mercury as a kid.
Well-played. But normally you're supposed to @-mention whoever you're trolling.
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You still kind of sound like an asshole
@dstopia, that's my job in this kind of thread.
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I thought he clarified that he didn't mean to say that autism was fictional
Yes he did. Doesn't excuse the original accusation.
@Maciejasjmj said:Then what's the point of the OP?
The way I read it, it's 'Oh, I might be autistic, but hey, it's not all bad'.
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If only someone who knows she has it had recommended that… oh, wait, I did!
Are you a doctor?
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Including steaming in and accusing him of inventing a medical condition.
Yeah, because nobody does that.
ETA: I was going to go back and put a
here but this thread's getting tedious. Although on the positive (?) side, it's real close to the point where someone needs to increment the flamewar counter.
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I don't know what you're referring to, but I sure as fuck have never done that.
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You could say it in a less assholeish way that wouldn't cause more or less reasonable people to go nuclear on you?
See, there's a difference between what you say and how you say it.
Intentions are yet another thing entirely.
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@Maciejasjmj said:
Then what's the point of the OP?
The way I read it, it's 'Oh, I might be autistic, but hey, it's not all bad'.That just raises more questions. Actually, one.
What's the point of the OP?
"Oh, I might be autistic, but actually, that changes nothing, and nobody cares, and I don't even really know, and why am I even typing those words?"
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I don't know what you're referring to, but I sure as fuck have never done that.
I didn't say you did. Lots of other people do, though. You must have heard "don't look up your symptoms on WebMD or you'll be convinced you have $horrible_disease". It's all over sitcoms too.
If you haven't heard that, well, listen to the advice.
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"Oh, I might be autistic, but actually, that changes nothing, and nobody cares, and I don't even really know, and why am I even typing those words?"
Flamebaiting? Trying to find friends?
Or even better: Who cares?
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Look, I'm not going to tiptoe around people's sensibilities on the fucking internet. I didn't even say anything extremely harsh, the one thing that might have been remotely bad is calling him a coward (and I stand by it, by the way).
Next time I'll attach trigger warnings, would that help? [TRIGGER WARNING: Asshole], something like that.
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Next time I'll attach trigger warnings, would that help? [TRIGGER WARNING: Asshole]
Someone hit me with a trigger once. I need a trigger warning for trigger warnings. [insert Knights of Ni "oops, now I said it" here]
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Ok, you are a motherfucking moron.
There is a difference between criticizing someone and calling them out on something they do wrong and being completely despicable towards them.
You veered into the latter which is something ASSHOLES do.
Of course, ASSHOLES do not realize that you can criticize and be harsh without being an ASSHOLE about it.
Good fucking riddance.
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What's the point of the OP?
What's the point of most of the threads here? To talk about stuff. And that's what we were doing, right up until Mr Asshole stomped all over the thread with his shit.
@FrostCat said:I didn't say you did.
Good ;)
@FrostCat said:Lots of other people do, though.
I know; it's a bit shit.
@FrostCat said:You must have heard "don't look up your symptoms on WebMD or you'll be convinced you have $horrible_disease".
Yep; that's why I recommended he seek professional advice.
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How old is he?
He's 13 now, and can carry a conversation when he wants to.
Yes, he had many of the same symptoms. Problem was, just before he turned 2, his younger brother was born - colicky (and diagnosed as such). No one in our household got any sleep for a year after that. I chalked up my older son's lack of social interaction and development to sleep deprivation as the younger one would literally wake up screaming every 2 hours during that first year.
By the time things settled down to "normal" the older one was 3 1/2. That's when my wife started getting him looked into and checked out. As a lot of things on autism still wasn't worked out or widely known yet, It wasn't until he was almost 5 that we had enough correct information to go on where we started seeing results (heavy metal detox, gluten-free diet being the two big factors that, when addressed, led to big gains in his progress, other items attempted prior not having much effect).
In short, I'm grateful to have my older son back.
We noticed by 2 or so our son wasn't looking at people in the eye when talking to them, and made a point of always telling him "look at me" when talking to him. Later, when he was diagnosed with Aspergers, the doctor said that was probably the best thing we could have done.
+1
Multiple therapists we've had work with him in the early years have told us the same thing.
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Look, I told you I'm beyond caring. You won't get a reaction from me.
Have a reply.
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Thank you!
I'll print it out and pin it on my wall next to all the posts that blakeyrat thanked me in.
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Asshole or not, he's still right. @xaade posted stupid shit and got called out on it by @dstopia and me. That we're aggressive towards stupid shit is, well, pretty much the whole point of the forum here.
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Well, I agree with your and his contents - I even liked your post (and I agree with it).
I just felt like @dstopia went a bit too far.
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@Maciejasjmj said:
What's the point of the OP?
What's the point of most of the threads here? To talk about stuff. And that's what we were doing, right up until Mr Asshole stomped all over the thread with his shit.So "I have nothing to say. Discuss." The OP conveyed precisely zero information.
He doesn't know that he has autism, he doesn't know if he doesn't have autism, he appears to hardly know what autism is other than what the WebMD-like pop quiz told him.
Assuming the post isn't asking for special treatment, and it's not @xaade wanting to discuss his self-derived condition, I honestly don't see what kind of discussion did he want to spurt.
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Assuming the post isn't asking for special treatment, and it's not @xaade wanting to discuss his self-derived condition, I honestly don't see what kind of discussion did he want to spurt.
I find a lot of threads he starts are a bit like that; he's an unusual fellow
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Looking to justify your inability to interact with others by inventing a medical condition is the lamest form of cowardice. Either do something about your social anxiety, if that bothers you too much, or just own up to your behavior.
I'm talking about self-diagnosed people. The actual condition is real. What people like xaade are doing is inventing the fact that they have it.
I had actually started typing a response to this, but work became a
to that. Now that this has spun into a flame war, not sure if it will matter. But I'll try anyway.I get what you're saying.
I don't see @xaade quite fitting that description here. My impression is he legitimately isn't sure what to do about it and was reaching out for some feedback for discussion in this forum (hence the 'General' tag, not 'Sidebar WTF' or 'Funny Stuff' or the like). Part of that feeling is based on having conversations with him in this very forum about other topics and how he goes about it, which behavior matches what he's saying. The same advice @RaceProUK was offering to @CarrieVS applies to him as well: go find out from a professional.
I see about a dozen more posts have gone up while I wrote this, so probably got
'd at least - in any case, there it is.
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I'll print it out and pin it on my wall next to all the posts that blakeyrat thanked me in.
Will that make one post or two on your wall?
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It personally insults me that people feel like they should get waived off and treated like a special snowflake because they don't wanna put in the work to overcome their perceived failings.
That doesn't sound at all like what @xaade did to me.
You people are all crazy to sane people like me and @blakeyrat.
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You people are all crazy to sane people like me and @blakeyrat.
Tell me when we stop to be. That's when I'll start to worry.
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Tell me when we stop to be. That's when I'll start to worry.
Opportunity knocks...
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What's the point of the OP?
Eh...I see it as him talking with his online friends. If your RL buddy said something like that, what would you say? I don't have the perspective of a person diagnosed with autism, but I don't see the big deal about what he did.
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Wow, it's kind of funny coming back to everyone being pissed off about it.
At first I was going to write about my childhood experiences. Anxiety so bad it put me in the hospital. But you know what. It just feels like I'm falling into a trap here. Because without some shrink's stamp of approval on my forehead, it looks like people are just going to give me a hard time.
Quite honestly, it doesn't matter. Like I said, I get by. And I don't think it's severe enough that a doctor is going to put me on some kind of therapy. I've been diagnosed with anxiety and put on medicine and I hate it. I learned a breathing and heart rate control meditation technique that works well.
because they don't wanna put in the work to overcome their perceived failings.
Why don't you think I haven't worked hard? I go through a list of thoughts before I even speak, and that's saved me a lot of trouble. Trust me, what I write is filtered, but all manually.
I have to think about how much time I spend looking at a place on a person. I've learned it helps just to not look at people at all. I'll look up at their eyes, then look at a paper pad and write as they talk so they know I'm listening.
some will take STRONG exception
I typically try to avoid offending people straight out. But there are times where I just shrug and say feelings are the responsibility of the person having them.
insane self-diagnoses about mental health issues actually are
I'm not running out to a clinic and taking silver.
I have been diagnosed with extreme anxiety, and occasionally I'll go back and try a new medication. But I haven't had good experiences with them.
that will strip all blame from himself.
You know, I struggle real hard with being understood, with being socially acceptable, and with taming my tongue. I can tell you I'm not the kind of person that will act like a victim.
There's a degree to which I try hard to seem normal, and there's a point where I just vent out the stress of that effort. I often post here to that effect, which is why my posts seem odd.
I'm starting to understand why I feel like there's a problem with me, and I'm just trying reasonable things to improve it.
It's probably from when they injected you with mercury as a kid.
Nah, it's the stuff that claims to be made from organic fruit, and then contains worse fillers than the normal stuff. Go look at the contents of organic and normal sour cream. Holy crap is the organic one bad for you.
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You'll be able to cope better in the world when you realize everybody has psychological issues.
Everybody.
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Do dead people have psychological issues?
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I believe the most sane people, are those that are willing to admit how much they're screwed up.
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The sane person questions themselves, and looks towards improvement. They can afford self-criticism and often are their own worst critics.
The insane are absolutely sure they can't possibly be wrong. This is why they're so difficult, if not impossible, to help.
Ironic, isn't it?
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I'm not certain what the NHS provides but I doubt it's much more than a referral to a private therapist/counsellor
When I've gone to the GP asking for counselling, they've given me CBT after a few months on the waiting list, or suggested I go through MIND, which was a much better course and had a slightly shorter wait.
A lot depends on which counsellor you get, though
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finding out I wasn't X made a huge difference
You're not allowed in my gang any more, for a start.
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I'm starting to understand why I feel like there's a problem with me, and I'm just trying reasonable things to improve it.
It sounds to me like if you are autistic you've worked out for yourself the same sort of coping strategies that would be taught by something like ABA. An official label can help some people by vindicating their feeling of being different, but I'm not sure it would particularly help you out, if it even applies.
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I'm triggered by the word trigger.
