TIL I'm autistic
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I can't even get therapy for my social anxiety, because it turns out social anxiety is a
to explaining all this stuff to a stranger.It certainly would make it harder, but therapy for anxiety disorder things can be really really helpful so fighting against it to get to therapy could be worthwhile.
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Hmm… not really sure what to say if I'm honest. I will say though that if people are going to judge you negatively because of a genuine medical diagnosis, then they're probably not really worth knowing
No.. I mean if I turn out not to have it.
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This post is deleted!
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No.. I mean if I turn out not to have it.
Oh… but then if you don't have it, you won't be claiming to have it, so it's not an issue?
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Yes but that one person who I'm sitting in front of will know. It doesn't really matter whether no-one else will, that will be plenty awful enough, and I would always know it happened, and feel awful about myself. I just can't face that.
Oh… but then if you don't have it, you won't be claiming to have it, so it's not an issue?
But I would have claimed to have it and have tried to get a medical diagnosis for what turns out to be 'being generally useless at life, man up and deal with it'
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@RaceProUK said:
Oh… but then if you don't have it, you won't be claiming to have it, so it's not an issue?
But I would have claimed to have it and have tried to get a medical diagnosis for what turns out to be 'being generally useless at life, man up and deal with it'
From your post above though, it sounds like you're not claiming it, but others are on your behalf:
@CarrieVS said:I'm a sort of honorary member, since most of the autistic people and people who know autistic people think I seem autistic, including someone who told me they'd been assuming I had a diagnosis and just hadn't mentioned it and someone else who's also training to be a psychologist and gave me an official internet diagnosis.
So if it turns out you don't, you can correct them. And if they won't accept it, then that's their issue, not yours.Obviously I can't force you to do anything; that's up to you. But I will say that, personally, I prefer knowing to wondering.
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Yeah, I totally know where you're coming from and it really sucks
Have a sympathy cupcake?http://gadgether.walyou.netdna-cdn.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/11/most-beautiful-cupcakes-2.jpg
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I've worked foodservice and i know the hassle that the kitchen needs to go though when they are preparing an allergen free plate: prepare single serving from scratch, with tools that are freshly cleaned and sterilized, do not prepare any other food while the allergen free food is being processed, and a whole host of other things that basically mean the whole kitchen grinds to a halt until that allergen free plate heads out to the customer.
Thankfully, the pizza place I worked at a long time ago didn't get too many gluten free orders. However, if one came during the dinner rush it could take an hour or two to catch up on orders afterwards due someone having to get all the equipment and ingredients ready. Its worth the hassle for someone who could not enjoy a pizza otherwise, but anyone who intentionally orders gluten free for the wrong reasons deserves a treatment far worse than a professional food staff would ever give them.
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From your post above though, it sounds like you're not claiming it, but others are on your behalf:
Yes but, I will have gone to a doctor and said 'I think I'm autistic' and they tell me 'no you're not, there's nothing wrong with you'. And for the rest of my life I will know that I suck so badly at life that I thought I actually had a medical condition.
And if they tell me instead that I'm right, they'll say 'so what do you want to do about it' and I won't have anything to say, I just wanted to know. So I'll feel really embarrassed about having gone to see them and I'll know they're thinking ... I don;t know, that I just wanted to be able to say I'm autistic. Or that I'm wasting their time.
So if it turns out you don't, you can correct them. And if they won't accept it, then that's their issue, not yours.
That's not what bothers me. And I think they're probably right. I certainly have enough characteristics associated with autism that I think it's perfectly reasonable to think I might have it, it's only my irrational anxiety-based thought processes that make me dread the possibility.
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there's nothing wrong with you
One thing I've had to come to terms with is that if there's something bad enough that I think it's a condition, there's probably something wrong. It can be hard to tell due to not having the ability to be someone else and see what life is like for them for a while, but generally, you can tell.
When I went to get evaluated before, I was super nervous I'd get laughed at. But it wasn't like that at all. She totally understood why I might think that, and still took my concerns seriously despite them not turning out to be what she was there to evaluate me for. So if it helps you combat the jerkbrain impulses that say it'll be awful, there's some anecdotal evidence :)
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Well it's also compounded by the fact that I did go to my doctor about my anxiety a couple of years ago. And I was going to get counselling - through the university, since I was a student at the time and they provide free counselling services. But I screwed up (missed a deadline for replying to confirm I did want counselling because I didn't check my email for a couple of days) and was unable to bring myself to try to explain, either to the university or to my doctor, what had happened, so I just let it slide. I still go the same doctor, so she'll have my notes and probably remember me a little and I'll have to explain.
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I hope your uni has better counselling than mine. I tried to get counselling through my undergrad and it didn't end well >.>
Took me a while to realize that belittling your patient is a major sign that the counselor was incompetent, not that I was somehow that screwed up. A good one wouldn't make their patient feel terrible and scold them for it.
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I still go the same doctor, so she'll have my notes and probably remember me a little and I'll have to explain.
Sounds like a good place to start, at any rate ;)
@Yamikuronue said:A good one wouldn't make their patient feel terrible and scold them for it.
QFFT
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the hassle that the kitchen needs to go though when they are preparing an allergen free plate: prepare single serving from scratch, with tools that are freshly cleaned and sterilized, do not prepare any other food while the allergen free food is being processed, and a whole host of other things that basically mean the whole kitchen grinds to a halt until that allergen free plate heads out to the customer.
Good to know! I will do this for fun every time I go to a restaurant now.
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I hope your uni has better counselling than mine.
Well I'm not at uni any more, so it's irrelevant. Which also means I'd have to consider the cost. I'm not certain what the NHS provides but I doubt it's much more than a referral to a private therapist/counsellor.
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@FrostCat said:
Don't worry, that'll probably be a disorder in DSM VI.
Also sexism, racism, etc.
But at least they'd have to define it. Mostly people use the term without actually defining it. I suspect that there are two distinct definitions of racism. The one that I use: 1) Setting a double-standard based on race; and then the one that most people use who think that racism is a serious issue: 2) If you belong to Race X, you're racist, if you belong to Race Y, you can not possibly be racist.
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Good to know! I will do this for fun every time I go to a restaurant now.
And you'll hopefully enjoy the "special seasoning" on your food that you will richly deserve.
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I do enjoy coriander.
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I do enjoy coriander.
"Coriander", yes, certainly not cigarette ashes and whatever's at the bottom of the grease trap.
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I vote
sandwich. The stockroom is full of those.
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As long as I can order peanut allergy dessert after the main course, it's all good.
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http://nationalpeanutboard.org/content/uploads/fromefl/Peanut-Butter-Toffee-Bar.jpg
@Captain, you don't even need teeth to eat one of these!
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I suspect that there are two distinct definitions of racism. The one that I use: 1) Setting a double-standard based on race; and the one that most people use who think that racism is a serious issue: 2) If you belong to Race X, you're racist, if you belong to Race Y, you can not possibly be racist.
It's ironic that people who use the second definition are racists under the first definition.
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This is more for @CarrieVS and the OP:
One thing I've had to come to terms with is that if there's something bad enough that I think it's a condition, there's probably something wrong. It can be hard to tell due to not having the ability to be someone else and see what life is like for them for a while, but generally, you can tell.
When I went to get evaluated before, I was super nervous I'd get laughed at. But it wasn't like that at all. She totally understood why I might think that, and still took my concerns seriously despite them not turning out to be what she was there to evaluate me for. So if it helps you combat the jerkbrain impulses that say it'll be awful, there's some anecdotal evidence
This.
I will say that, personally, I prefer knowing to wondering.
And This.
When we had my autistic son tested, one of the follow-up tests recommended was an analysis of his genes to see if his issue was genetic. Turns out it wasn't, which told us 2 things: 1) if we isolate environmental factors that are contributing to his condition, he could get better, and 2) we didn't have to explore any genetic therapies (not that there were many 10 years ago anyhow).
In the process, among other things we discovered that his system reacts to gluten the way you or I would to morphine; cut that out, and after several weeks it was like he "woke up". I now have a son that's developmentally about 5 years behind his physical age, but according to the speech and occupational therapists, otherwise progressing normally.
Took me a while to realize that belittling your patient is a major sign that the counselor was incompetent, not that I was somehow that screwed up. A good one wouldn't make their patient feel terrible and scold them for it.
Finding competent help is part of the challenge. When dealing with new professionals in the field, it's like the job interview: you should be evaluating and interviewing them. @Yamikuronue nailed it on the head here, don't underestimate how important this is.
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It's probably from when they injected you with mercury as a kid.
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Looking to justify your inability to interact with others by inventing a medical condition is the lamest form of cowardice. Either do something about your social anxiety, if that bothers you too much, or just own up to your behavior.
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Looking to justify your inability to interact with others by inventing a medical condition is the lamest form of cowardice.
And congratulations on pissing off several members of this forum simultaneously.Seriosuly though, if you think that condition is invented, then you can go fuck yourself.
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I'm talking about self-diagnosed people. The actual condition is real. What people like xaade are doing is inventing the fact that they have it.
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What people like xaade are doing is inventing the fact that they have it.
And what if he really does have it?
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Then he should go to a fucking doctor. He sure isn't one.
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If only someone who knows she has it had recommended that… oh, wait, I did!
@RaceProUK said:Which has led you to a conclusion that may well be correct; still, I wouldn't rely on self-diagnosis. If you think you really are autistic, get a professional to check
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Then why the fuck are you insulting me in the first place?
Look, I'm going to explain it in simple terms why I was so aggressive: He's looking for an excuse. If he wasn't, he wouldn't be googling about conditions and crossing items off a list. If there's anything that's bothering him, he should seek help instead of trying to label himself with some magical title that will strip all blame from himself.
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He's looking for an excuse.
Bullshit:
@xaade said:Something's fucked up, but honestly I make it by just fine.
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Dude, he's coming up with his own diagnosis, I'm sure as fuck going to make assumptions that go beyond what he's saying.
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Including steaming in and accusing him of inventing a medical condition. Real fucking class, that.
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I'm accusing him because that's what he's actually doing by not going to a doctor. If he's got no one in his life to tell him how insane self-diagnoses about mental health issues actually are it might as well be some random fuckwad on the internet.
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re: @dstopia's reaction to @xaade's self diagnosis, called it:
Note: that without actual diagnosis some will take STRONG exception to referring to yourself like you have been.
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Guess what? That random 'fuckwad' that told him to go see a doctor? Me. Except I did it nice and friendly; I wasn't a 20ft dick about it.
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So what? I'm another random fuckwad and people who self-diagnose are absolutely despicable to me. Especially as someone who has had social anxiety growing up and has had to work painstakingly to overcome it. It personally insults me that people feel like they should get waived off and treated like a special snowflake because they don't wanna put in the work to overcome their perceived failings.
And guess what, me being absolutely vitriolic about him might actually help him recapacitate.
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It personally insults me that people feel like they should get waived off and treated like a special snowflake because they don't wanna put the work in to overcome their perceived failings.
Get over yourself; I've already told you @xaade isn't doing that.
@dstopia said:And guess what, me being absolutely vitriolic about him might actually help him recapacitate.
Yes, in the way that you clear an ear infection with a shotgun to the face.
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Get over yourself; I've already told you @xaade isn't doing that.
Dude he posted a topic on an internet message board about his own self-diagnosis. Can't you see what's happening here? I know you have diagnosed autism but this is one of the things you learn about understanding people and their motives through social interaction.
Yes, in the way that you clear an ear infection with a shotgun to the face.
Holy fuck, literal words on a screen are equal to a shotgun to the face.
I don't wanna have this discussion anymore if that's the way you're going to approach it.
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You're the one treating him like scum
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He wants to be treated like a special snowflake, I know. I'm sorry but that sort of thing provokes the opposite reaction on me.
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He wants to be treated like a special snowflake
What the fuck did I just point out to you less than twenty fucking minutes ago‽
@xaade said:Something's fucked up, but honestly I make it by just fine.
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I'm not going to repeat myself. I addressed that already.
I'm done with this discussion now. I know why you're so deeply offended about this whole thing but I'm not going to be a dick to you, too, because you didn't start this topic.
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I addressed that already.
No you didn't. You just continued being a condescending, aggressive, judgemental shitstain about it.
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@RaceProUK said:
From your post above though, it sounds like you're not claiming it, but others are on your behalf:
Yes but, I will have gone to a doctor and said 'I think I'm autistic' and they tell me 'no you're not, there's nothing wrong with you'. And for the rest of my life I will know that I suck so badly at life that I thought I actually had a medical condition.
So? Would you rather live your life blissfully thinking that you can't do shit about what you don't like about yourself, because oh well, you got dealt shitty cards in your life and that's it?
See, I think what scares the shit out of the self-proclaimed depressives, autistics, bipolars, etc. isn't that they're sick. It's that they're not.
Including steaming in and accusing him of inventing a medical condition. Real fucking class, that.
Look, as far as we know, he took one of those "simple ten questions to find you a medical condition you can identify with" tests and figured out he has autism. That's pretty much a middle finger to everyone who actually struggles to go through life with the condition.
And all that because I pointed out @xaade's communication skills make Swampie look like fucking Shakespeare. And he's all like "oh well, I guess I have a debilitating illness, because no way I could actually write comprehensibly".
He wants to be treated like a special snowflake, I know. I'm sorry but that sort of thing provokes the opposite reaction on me.
QFT.
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Look, as far as we know, he took one of those "simple ten questions to find you a medical condition you can identify with" tests and figured out he has autism. That's pretty much a middle finger to everyone who actually struggles to go through life with the condition.
And that excuses treating him like scum why?
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Is it just me or is @dstopia being overly accusative with his words and @RaceProUK overreacting?
