Ticketing WTF
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As we sometimes have to work with outside IT companies to help service our clients, we get to see the other side of ticketing systems and lately one of the other companies we work with (not by choice) has started this trend:
Any ticket that is closed by the first person to handle it gets "FIRST TOUCH!" appended to the status update. So, a person in your organization actually did their fucking job and this warrants all caps and an exclamation point? Since when is someone doing their freaking job worthy of that?
Edit: Removed an internal #, not that it matters.
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But gamification! And frist posts! People like those things.
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CLOSE REASON IS INVALID. TRY TO BE MORE DESCRIPTIVE.<or whatever
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But gamification! And frist posts! People like those things.
Gamification, done properly, can be a very effective tool. Most devs get it completely wrong though. And in this case, it is just stupid.
In this case, the ticket was for a simple password reset. If this warrants a "FIRST TOUCH!" status, you need to hire better people because the ones who cannot go all caps and bangs like a fucking tweeny sending a text should be shitcanned.
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Meh. Just be glad they can spell the whole sentence right. Probably the President's Daughter's firstborn is finally getting into computing.
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Oh! I thought this was going to be about any of the finest pieces of software out there.
It seems that for such an easy thing, by 2014 we would have it figured out, but no.
Other great piece of software is time managers (those where you input how long you've worked on a project). I'm with one right now called "Foxtrot" which is the biggest WTF I've seen in two months. I can't fully enjoy its crap because, although I selected English, 80% of the text is in Swedish.
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I can't fully enjoy its crap because, although I selected English, 80% of the text is in Swedish.
That is an amazing fail right there. If you have to break out Google Translate to do your job, shit has gone awry.
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First time in a long time I needed a manual for something not from... Wait for it... IKEA!
Now it makes sense.
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IKEA!
WTF does this graphic mean? Is that guy fucking his dresser? Do I have to do that to get it assembled?
http://frivolityontheedge.files.wordpress.com/2013/07/ikea_instructions.jpg
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@Intercourse said:
WTF does this graphic mean? Is that guy fucking his dresser? Do I have to do that to get it assembled?
Obviously not. See the X over the top-left graphic? That means you're not supposed to fuck it, but instead gently stroke it like the happy guy on the right.
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They really need to make this more clear. I would have fucked the dresser and broken it.
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I think it just means you need to fuck it on a rug/carpet rather than on a hard floor.
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@Intercourse said:
we sometimes have to work with outside IT companies to help service our clients
IT companies do that in your part of the world?
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I think it just means you need to fuck it on a rug/carpet rather than on a hard floor.
OK, so obviously we need to call IKEA and get a definitive answer on whether or not to fuck their furniture during assembly.
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IT companies do that in your part of the world?
Hmmmm, are you implying that IT companies suck, or that we service ;) our clients? Your comment could go either way.
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@Intercourse said:
Hmmmm, are you implying that IT companies suck, or that we service our clients? Your comment could go either way.
Well, I've known more than one company that has felt screwed by an IT company.
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If sucking isn't part of the service, I don't want to buy services from any of those companies.
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@Intercourse said:
OK, so obviously we need to call IKEA and get a definitive answer on whether or not to fuck their furniture during assembly.
Presumably they're already aware of the ambiguity over fucking their furniture and carry it on for shits and giggles, hence the bottom image.
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@Intercourse said:
help service our clients
I'm sure you can imagine how I interpreted this at first.
Also, is it just me, or did they spell "frist" wrong?
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Well, I've known more than one company that has felt screwed by an IT company.
Business is like 80% nepotism, and to that end one of our larger clients is partially owned by one of my girlfriends from back in the day. We remained friends, so when she bought in she fired their service and hired us. One day, I am talking to her in her office and a pushy salesman stops by to sell IT support. So here I am, sitting there grinning to myself as he tries to pitch her on their services without knowing who I am...and then one of the funniest things to ever happen to me at work occurred.
Ex-gf: "I have a very close relationship with our current IT service and do not plan on changing."
Pushy salesman: "If you gave our service a chance, I know we could develop a closer relationship than you have with your current service."
Ex-gf: "He used to fuck me in college, I am married now, it is unlikely you could get there."Everyone within earshot absolutely lost it.
She has always been very to-the-point.
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@Intercourse said:
Ex-gf: "He used to assemble IKEA furniture for me in college, I am married now, it is unlikely you could get there."
FTFY
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It lacks a certain ring to it. How about...
@Intercourse said:
"He used to fuck me like IKEA furniture in college, I am married now, it is unlikely you could get there."
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The new ticketing system for my company was released on Monday.
The "Close Ticket" button does not close the ticket.
I have a phone interview on Monday.
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Well, I've known more than one company that has felt screwed by an IT company. 😀
Nailed it.
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@Intercourse said:
WTF does this graphic mean? Is that guy fucking his dresser? Do I have to do that to get it assembled?
That really depends, doesn't it? Is it a SCHLÖNGG bookcase? Otherwise, are you “hexagonally equipped”?
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Oh wow, I found another Discourse bug.
Anyway. I have a ticketing WTF. And this is my own confession.
I built a helpdesk once. It had several states: new ticket, closed, deleted, ticket awaiting staff response, ticket awaiting user response. These states were not configurable in any way, shape or form and moved between states automatically (and the state was stored in the database every time it updated)
It is now 4 years on since I did this and I still feel guilty about it. The worst part is that I am not sure whether I should or not, and that it was precisely to the specification with which I was given in the first place.
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I built a helpdesk once
My boss has said that if we don't get a response soon on what new bug tracker is approved, we'll start writing one. Any tips?
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I'd start with a trip to Ikea or Nebraska Furniture Mart. If those aren't near, Office Depot or Staples may have something barely adequate.
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I think I can get away with IKEA under a loose definition of "building", but I suspect a COTS solution like those offered at Staples would be nixed for not following the proper procedure. Which is a real shame, this package has a lovely aesthetic, and the handle-based interface seems solid.
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I built a helpdesk once
Many WTF stories start like that, and in the middle they contain one of: XML, PHP, outsourcing, snowball or RegEx. They usually end with the company going belly up.
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My boss has said that if we don't get a response soon on what new bug tracker is approved, we'll start writing one. Any tips?
I guess it depends how integrated you need such a thing to be into the rest of your environment. Github's tracking system is fairly limited but the integration into the rest of the environment makes it at least usable.
Only suggestion I would really have is that JIRA should be avoided if possible. Other than that... probably best to ask the assembled masses here.
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Many WTF stories start like that, and in the middle they contain one of: XML, PHP, outsourcing, snowball or RegEx. They usually end with the company going belly up.
It contained PHP and some XML. It was built as an add-on to a certain forum software. No company involved.
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JIRA
JIRA's one of our frontrunner candidates if we can get approval. Any reason why? We're also hoping to get Bamboo which integrates with it, so it seemed like a no-brainer.
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Discourse can be used for bug tracking, and it's FOSS.
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Only suggestion I would really have is that JIRA should be avoided if possible. Other than that... probably best to ask the assembled masses here.
No, avoid abominations like HP QualityCenter...they make JIRA look good by comparison.
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Only suggestion I would really have is that JIRA should be avoided if possible.
I like Jira. I don't understand the hate. Several people have expressed this opinion, so could you clue me in on why you don't like Jira?
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Jira is the least WTF of them all. At least for dev teams, not sure about using it for ticketing with a helpdesk.
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HP QualityCenter
Sounds like it's time for another PSA from "OMG ew". That or one of the many pent-up rants I have about the state of SQA software (spoiler alert: it all sucks).
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To be fair, we're not looking to replace our helpdesk software, we just want to stop using the helpdesk software for defect tracking in favor of something we can actually get metrics out of.
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Not a bad idea, simply add a plugin to match the status of the ticket and have so much fun!
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JIRA's one of our frontrunner candidates if we can get approval. Any reason why? We're also hoping to get Bamboo which integrates with it, so it seemed like a no-brainer.
I had way too many bad experiences with JIRA in a former life. Though it could just as easily have been the corporate culture and poor implementation for all I know.
I do know that they were using it for tracking business processes and approvals of things beyond actual conventional tickets.
Then again we're talking about a former Fortune 500 company that crashed and burned in September 2008. You can probably figure out who it is from that.
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ew, yeah. I've seen some examples of how you could use JIRA as a test-tracking software and it looks like the general idea is all you need is a hammer since you can always pound a screw straight in.
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That's kind of my objection to it, I guess. I never got to see it in the environment in which it was properly intended.
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I've been using it daily for the last 6 years in different companies and it works quite well. Some projects are stupier than others in the flow of things, but in general, Jira and Bamboo behave quite well. Integration with BitBucket and GitHub is quite good as well.
My biggest concern with Jira+BitBucket is that they look exactly the same but, in Jira, comments are in Wiki format but BitBucket uses markdown light. I hope Atlassian got their shit together on this.
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Having seen Atlassian stuff in other contexts - notably SourceTree - I would not be entirely hopeful.
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My boss has said that if we don't get a response soon on what new bug tracker is approved, we'll start writing one. Any tips?
Ruby-on-rails with a smattering of Javascript appears to be popular recently.
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We use JIRA and rather like it. I am with @boomzilla in that I do not see where all the hate comes from. I do see how as others have said, if you shoehorn it in to a role that it was not meant for, it could be a real PITA.
Other options, depending upon what you need, might be one of the Redmine derivatives: ChiliProject, OpenProject, etc. Redmine itself is just too base and simple, but people have built some impressive forks of it.
the general idea is all you need is a hammer since you can always pound a screw straight in.
As I always say, if your only tool is a hammer you tend to treat all problems as nails.
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My boss has said that if we don't get a response soon on what new bug tracker is approved, we'll start writing one. Any tips?
The first bug seems to be that your boss needs approval to use an existing bug tracker but can authorize writing one from scratch.
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I like Jira. I don't understand the hate. Several people have expressed this opinion, so could you clue me in on why you don't like Jira?
It may be like the near-universal hate for Blackboard Learning System: it's the worst, except for all the other ones.