Apple Watch
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Whoosh badge
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So then we first need to build a machine that turns humans into Time Lords. Then everything else will be easy.
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Well sorry for the skeptics, but 5 years ago I said that wrist-computers were the inevitable future, and I still maintain it.
When fridges and washing machines already have computers, it makes no sense to think in 10 years we won't be wearing one in the most accessible place we have. Either that or the glasses.
http://futurama-madhouse.net/fanart/leila/leela05_01_by_leila.png
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Well sorry for the skeptics, but 5 years ago I said that wrist-computers were the inevitable future, and I still maintain it.
Sometimes it's nice to be able to use two hands.
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Why do I need a watch when I already have a phone?
Because Dick Tracy had it – you need one terribly, don't ask why, just buy!
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No mention of battery life. Translation: get ready to charge it every night
Charge your watch every night? Oh NO!
I used to have to wind my watch every night!
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So then we first need to build a machine that turns humans into Time Lords. Then everything else will be easy.
Just open that there fob watch. You'll be glad you did.
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Charge your watch every night? Oh NO!I used to have to wind my watch every night!
Exactly.
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I used to have to wind my watch every night!
I wind mine as a nervous habit/so I have something to do with my hands. Course this means that I occasionally need to pay for repairs due to overwinding, but it isn't really a big deal as fancy expensive one is only for special occasions.
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I wind mine as a nervous habit/so I have something to do
withwhen I have time on my hands.FTFY
Filed Under: Cue rimshot
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So many jokes, so little time.
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Charge your watch every night? Oh NO!I used to have to wind my watch every night!
WTF, how old are you?
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WTF, how old are you?
There are actually some people over 50 who know how to use the internet, believe it or not.
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There are actually some people over 50 who know how to use the internet, believe it or not.
I have slightly more than a decade before I reach 50.
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I have slightly more than a decade before I reach 50.
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You know Bort, the first year of the Simpsons was 1989, so I was alive then! Right around that time, I was probably sprouting my first pubes... someday you will go through that change too.
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sprouting my first pubes... someday you will go through that change too.
No! Mommy feeds me my whore-oh-moan-y sup-rest-ents so I can stay her sweet, little boy forever!
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Lemme get this straight:
It's a watch, the thing that sits on your wrist and tells the time.
But it costs $350 and if you get it wet you have to buy a new one.
And it has a full color backlit screen so it can... show you that it's currently 12:18. Yep, totally need something more advanced than the calculator I had in first grade for that.
For that matter, the TI-84 I had in high school has a bigger screen and costs more than three times less. It also tells the time, just like every other electronic device ever made.
So we're supposed to wear a phone on our wrist that just tells us the time, have another phone for texting pictures of our junk to 4chan (and apparently our credit card information as well) and a third phone for when we're at home and we need to look up a broken version of a website and the computer is all the way over there.
Also, all the features they announced as "nobody has ever done this before" are currently available in Android and Windows phones and have been since about two years ago. I'm excited to see what new features the iPhone 8 has when Samsung announces them next week.
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Also, all the features they announced as "nobody has ever done this before" are currently available in Android and Windows phones and have been since about two years ago.
Kind of what I thought when I first read it. Apple does not live in reality though. They know they can say anything and their rabid followers will just believe it.
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But it costs $350 and if you get it wet you have to buy a new one.
Add to that $700 for iPhone, because the thing is an accessory and can't run on its own.
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Lemme get this straight:
s/marketing/apple customer/
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So really it is a ~$1050 watch, all-in?
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Pfff, if you're a loser who only buys one watch.
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They are like Pokemon, gotta collect 'em all?
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https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LJvYvD4PX-Q&start=312&end=380
NO ONE HAS EVER DONE THAT IN THE HISTORY OF DOTA
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It just hit me, Apple literally took the worst bits from the original Samsung Galaxy Gear when making the watch:
- unbelievably expensive
- (likely) poor battery life
- requires iPhone 5Galaxy S3 or later
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It is a solution, looking for a problem, that causes more problems. The sad thing is, people are going to love them for it.
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Huh?
Basically "X is more than three times less than Y" translates to: Y>3X.
EDIT: or to generalize it: X is more than Z times less than Y -> Y>ZX, basically the more in the statement is saying Z could be bigger.
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Huh?
Well, it's $350, so three times that is $1050. Therefore, three times less than $350 is -$700.
Ben is saying that it is less than -$700.
Ignore @locallunatic.
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Basically "X is more than three times less than Y" translates to: Y>3X.
Yeah, I understand what he meant — although expressing it as X < Y/3 seems to me to communicate the intent more clearly — but what he actually wrote is twisted.
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For that matter, the TI-84 I had in high school has a bigger screen and costs more than three times less. It also tells the time, just like every other electronic device ever made.
Well, except for the TI-82, the TI-83, the TI-83+, the TI-86…
Filed under: I was the cool kid with my built-in-clock TI-84+, I also spent too much time writing flicker-free analog clock programs in TI-Basic
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Well, except for the TI-82, the TI-83, the TI-83+, the TI-86…
Everyone always forgets the TI-85.
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Hmm, I wonder whatever happened to my TI-83+ Silver Edition. I even had the calc-to-calc transfer cable and the USB cable.
Ah fun times, when I first started programming. We had all kinds of little BASIC apps for quickly solving problems in our algebra textbooks, plus the usual stupid infinite-loop-insult shenanigans. And since my Silver Edition had more memory than everyone else's, it was also the "backup drive" for everyone else's BASIC apps.
I had a TI-86 too but those sucked. No one knew how to work them and their dialect of BASIC wasn't quite compatible with the 83's.
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I'm excited to see what new features the iPhone 8 has when Samsung announces them next week.
That was actually last week.
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Rape Direction Finder
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Rambunctious Penis Fountain.
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Nah, I get plenty of Likes elsewhere.
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You, ah, hard up for a like by boomzilla, buddy?
@boomzilla only gives me the penis love.
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Even better: integrated beamer,
Ok first of all, what are you 6? Who says "beamer" instead of projector?
Secondly:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kbGVIdA3dx0#t=1m16s
Zardoz predicted all modern technology. (Skip to 1m16s in case the embed is fucked.)
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Who says "beamer" instead of projector?
Germans. They also say "handy" instead of mobile phone.
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Is this something like the UK's [Migration Watch][1]?
If not, ISAGN...
Ok - off to the bad jokes thread I go...
[1]: http://www.migrationwatchuk.com/
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TRWTF is whatever version of iOS they crammed in there. With the exception of the "communication" system, every single "app" they showed off there is ridiculous (top prize going to the photos app). The entire user interface model is a bloody mess. You can:
- crown up, which may zoom out or scroll
- crown down, which may zoom in (sometimes towards the start, sometimes towards the center) or scroll or select (sometimes towards the start, sometimes towards the center) or select the app at the center
- crown in for the "home" screen
- press the communication button to bother people
- gently tap on stuff to press buttons
- press on stuff to open menus
- force-press on stuff when you're really doing it wrong
- drag and pan
...and we don't know yet just how much double- and triple-tapping is going to be required here, iPhone home button style. OMFG USABILITY:
This was the situation in 2010, of course. Things have only gotten more complicated since then, especially with the iPhone 5's fingerprint reader and the iPhone 6+'s double-tap vs double-press gesture.
Just look at the screenshots and remember that those screenshots are actually wrist-sized and your finger is probably 1/3-1/4 the height of the screen.
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Some love for the TI-85! Mine is sitting on my desk right now, still gets used regularly.