:baby_symbol: Parenting advice - you're gonna get hit
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@izzion
At least it wasn't lost
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@HardwareGeek said in Parenting advice - you're gonna get hit:
Also, from what I know of Lamborghinis, they're not exactly family cars. I'm pretty sure that "lives" should be singular.
I have rode in the passenger seat of a Diablo along with the driver and two girls. In no way was it safe, but if you ever get the chance I can wholeheartedly suggest it.
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@Jaloopa said in Parenting advice - you're gonna get hit:
Number 3 is on its way
Well, you're soon to be outnumbered. How's your hairline? It's about to either recede or increase its pace.
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@Polygeekery my dad was barely thinning on top when he died, and he had 8 kids across several mothers. No, what I'm concerned about is acceleration of the greys I've started noticing in my beard
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@Jaloopa oh, yeah. That happens also. Have you seen the picture I posted in The Lounge? I didn't have any gray hair before getting married and having kids.
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@Polygeekery said in Parenting advice - you're gonna get hit:
I didn't have any gray hair before getting married and having kids.
I didn't have any before moving to California...
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@Polygeekery I go by the theory that it's a sign of being responsible and in charge, like how the lead gorilla becomes a silverback
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@Jaloopa like the hair follicle leads to a brain cell? So bald people have a lot of dead brain cells?
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@Polygeekery said in Parenting advice - you're gonna get hit:
@Jaloopa like the hair follicle leads to a brain cell? So bald people have a lot of dead brain cells?
Or their brains stopped oozing, so they have more (live) cells now...
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@HardwareGeek said in Parenting advice - you're gonna get hit:
@Dragoon said in Parenting advice - you're gonna get hit:
@djls45 said in Parenting advice - you're gonna get hit:
@Karla said in Parenting advice - you're gonna get hit:
We only give her Benadryl for car trips. She would get sick EVERY. SINGLE. TRIP. And I am a sympathetic vomiter. It would be awful for us both.
You probably shouldn't ever drive the Million-Dollar Highway between Ouray, CO and Silverton, CO. My sister was sleeping through it and still threw up. And she's only mildly sensitive to motion sickness.
Yeah, that stretch can be rough on people.
Sounds like fun. Anybody know where I can rent a Lambo?
That sounds like more of a stretch for a Ducatti.
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@dkf said in Parenting advice - you're gonna get hit:
That sounds like more of a stretch for a Ducatti.
But not for a Ducati?
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@Polygeekery So I didn't look up the name of the manufacturer…
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@Polygeekery said in Parenting advice - you're gonna get hit:
@dkf said in Parenting advice - you're gonna get hit:
That sounds like more of a stretch for a Ducatti.
But not for a Ducati?
I pause to count how many r and where are there in "Ferrari"
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@Applied-Mediocrity in @dkf's defense, I almost didn't catch it. I had to Google to make sure.
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Our 8 year old has been struggling with understanding why his 4 year old brother has different responsibilities and obligations than he does. We try to reiterate that, yes, he is "treated differently" but that he is treated the same as he was when he was 4 years old. But perspective of time is not a strong suit of kids.
So last night he was obviously upset and quite frankly massively pissed at me over it. To the point that he wouldn't talk to me. I couldn't get anything but a scowl out of him and a head nod in the affirmative when I asked if he was mad at me.
"I will make you a deal. I'm going to put a minute on the clock. For one minute you can say whatever you want, no consequences. You tell me exactly how you feel. Get it off your chest."
-shakes head no-
"Seriously, say whatever you want. Call me a jerk. Just say curse words if you want. But for 60 seconds you have the freedom to say whatever you want to me. I just want you to say it."It took seven seconds to clear the air and he didn't even curse. Then we had a really good conversation for over an hour and got a lot of things straightened out.
At the end he asked if he still had time left and then he used about 30 more seconds to jokingly slap me on top of my head with my own hand while laughing his butt off.
It might be worth it to keep that idea in your back pocket if you ever have a fuming child that you need to get to talk.
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@Polygeekery said in Parenting advice - you're gonna get hit:
: "I will make you a deal. I'm going to put a minute on the clock. For one minute you can say whatever you want, no consequences. You tell me exactly how you feel. Get it off your chest."
: We need universal health care and a wealth tax in this country.
: I TAKE IT BACK! YOU'RE IN BIG TROUBLE, MISTER!
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@Mason_Wheeler no.
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@Polygeekery said in Parenting advice - you're gonna get hit:
@Mason_Wheeler no.
Well, of course you've taught your kids better than that, but it's still funny.
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@boomzilla said in Parenting advice - you're gonna get hit:
@Polygeekery said in Parenting advice - you're gonna get hit:
@Mason_Wheeler no.
Well, of course you've taught your kids better than that, but it's still funny.
Of course it is. But when I read it I thought of how much feces would have been lost if I had done the same thing and made a similar joke. There would have been crying and gnashing of hypocritical teeth.
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@Polygeekery said in Parenting advice - you're gonna get hit:
I have rode in the passenger seat of a Diablo along with the driver and two girls.
Aren't these kind of cars only 2 seats?
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@sockpuppet7 said in Parenting advice - you're gonna get hit:
Aren't these kind of cars only 2 seats?
Yes. Your point?
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@Polygeekery I may be lacking imagination here, but I wouldn't expect it to be a comfortable trip, even with a lambo, girls and all
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@sockpuppet7
Obviously one girl was sitting on the stick
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@sockpuppet7 said in Parenting advice - you're gonna get hit:
@Polygeekery I may be lacking imagination here, but I wouldn't expect it to be a comfortable trip, even with a lambo, girls and all
It was not a long trip. No more than 15 minutes. They wanted to ride in a Lamborghini and hopped on my lap. If you cannot see why comfort was not one of my major concerns then I don't know what to tell you.
Although I would not recommend attempting it with anyone who is a member of the body positivity movement, for obvious reasons.
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A couple of years ago my mother-in-law had come to visit for the weekend. On Sunday morning I had a stress headache and after getting things setup for the kids in the backyard I laid down with an ice pack on my head and ended up falling asleep. Several hours later I wake up feeling better and I head to the backyard.
Probably due to the MIL being there my wife is......let's say, slightly inebriated when I see her. I'm going to guess that she is a bottle and half of wine in to her Sunday and having a "spirited" conversation with her mother. So I go start doing yardwork.
It wasn't long after that and my MIL heads home (in fairness to my wife, in no way was she wrong in what she was "discussing" with her mother, I just wanted to avoid it). The wife and I are sitting there talking and I notice that there are some branches that had fallen on to the roof in a recent storm and that there are also some limbs drooping down and touching the shingles. So I grab a ladder, my cordless reciprocating saw, a few extra batteries and head up to the roof to take care of that.
It is getting late in the evening so she says it is time for the kids to have a bath and heads inside. I am there on the roof cutting limbs up, sweeping the mossy stuff that falls from the trees off of the roof and generally enjoying the (finally) peaceful Sunday evening when I hear a familiar voice behind me.
"Hi daddy, what you doing?"
My heart froze. I turn around and our youngest (at the time he would have been two years old) is at the top of the ladder.....with his blanket in hand.
"Hi buddy, stay right there. Don't move. Let me come get you."
It was one of those moments where you absolutely cannot react. You cannot show fear, or else they might realize that they are currently in danger and do something to cause them to fall. So I walk over as casually as I can, reach over the top of the ladder while standing right on the edge of the roof (have I mentioned that I am absolutely shit terrified of heights?) and lift him over the ladder to (relative) safety.
I call my wife. She doesn't answer. This is one thing that can really bother me about her. I basically live with my phone. I have it on me at all times. If I forget it somewhere I feel naked until I have it again. She is the polar opposite and never has it on herself and when it is she has it on silent. To be fair, somewhere in the middle between those two is probably the "healthy zone", but that is how we are.
I call and call and call and call and she isn't answering. I take tools and beat on the roof over top of the bathroom where the oldest is taking a bath. I would find out later that he heard all of this and mentioned it to her and she said to ignore it as it is just daddy working. I call two neighbors. Neither are home. They answer but they are nowhere that they can help. Both are out of town. I'm on the roof, holding a two year old, who has his blanket and I'm absolutely sweltering and there is absolutely no possible way that I could safely get back on the ladder and get him down without help.
I am considering calling the fire department when my wife finally comes outside. She comes up the ladder, I hand off and my blood pressure starts to come back down.
My wife and I do not argue much, but later that night she and I had a "spirited" discussion of our own.
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@Polygeekery said in Parenting advice - you're gonna get hit:
I'm on the roof, holding a two year old, who has his blanket and I'm absolutely sweltering and there is absolutely no possible way that I could safely get back on the ladder and get him down without help.
I am considering calling the fire department when my wife finally comes outside. She comes up the ladder, I hand off and my blood pressure starts to come back down.
So why is it safe for her to carry down the ladder but not for you to?
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I think it is more the logistics of him getting on the ladder while holding the child (coupled with his fear of heights).
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@Mason_Wheeler said in Parenting advice - you're gonna get hit:
So why is it safe for her to carry down the ladder but not for you to?
You are confused about why it is not safe for me to get on the ladder either while:
- holding a toddler
- leaving him on the roof and having him walk over to me at the edge of the roof without falling off
And that it is safer for someone to come up the ladder and be handed the child while they are standing safely and securely on the ladder?
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@Polygeekery I guess I just figure, if you can tell him "stay right there and don't move" while he's on the ladder, and he'll obey and stay safe, you could set him on the roof within arm's reach of the ladder, tell him the same thing, and he'll obey and stay safe while you climb onto the ladder.
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@Polygeekery was your wife still three sheets to the wind at this point? I'm not sure I'd trust a two year old on a ladder to a drunk person either.
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@Jaloopa that particular situation had improved. But between handing him off to her, or any alternative, it was the best choice at the moment.
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@Mason_Wheeler taking the weight of a child when on a ladder could well be tricky if you're relying on them not to squirm, jump or otherwise do exactly the wrong thing at exactly the wrong time. An ability toddlers have in spades
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@Mason_Wheeler said in Parenting advice - you're gonna get hit:
@Polygeekery I guess I just figure, if you can tell him "stay right there and don't move" while he's on the ladder, and he'll obey and stay safe, you could set him on the roof within arm's reach of the ladder, tell him the same thing, and he'll obey and stay safe while you climb onto the ladder.
Yeah, okay. Get back to me when you have kids of your own. See if your answer changes.
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@Polygeekery said in Parenting advice - you're gonna get hit:
@Jaloopa that particular situation had improved. But between handing him off to her, or any alternative, it was the best choice at the moment.
Not being burdened with a fear of heights, I probably would have had her come up on the roof and been the receiver, but yeah, there's really no good solution. Well done for getting him down safely
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I probably would of done the same thing, I have held stuff of about a 2yrs old weight while going from roof to ladder and it is difficult when they are dead weight. Certainly up the difficulty when they are squirming. Hand off is certainly the safest approach I can think of.
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@Jaloopa said in Parenting advice - you're gonna get hit:
@Mason_Wheeler taking the weight of a child when on a ladder could well be tricky if you're relying on them not to squirm, jump or otherwise do exactly the wrong thing at exactly the wrong time. An ability toddlers have in spades
Not to mention "stand here at the edge of the roof, within reach of the ladder where if you stumble you will fall and break something" (also, the limbs I had removed from the roof were scattered on the ground below, I just remembered that part) is not something a responsible parent would do. Kids move, roofs are pitched, and he was holding his blanket which is a trip hazard.
In no way was there a safe method of getting him off the roof alone. If I had absolutely no other choice then I would have attempted it. Like, if we lived in Bumfuck Egypt and there was literally no one else around. But in that case I probably would have called the fire department before attempting it on my own.
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@Polygeekery said in Parenting advice - you're gonna get hit:
It was one of those moments where you absolutely cannot react.
I had another one of those moments this past summer. My MIL wanted us all to get together and take family pictures for her birthday. In her hometown there is this very old, very scenic park and she had chosen a particular tree to get pictures under. God only knows how old the tree is, but it spread out with these horizontal branches in all directions for 30-40 feet from the trunk. One of those branches goes over a small road by the canal.
I am talking to my wife's nephew about how he is doing in his freshman year of college and I hear:
"Hey daddy, look."
I turn around and our 8 year old is walking on one of the branches like it is a balancing beam and is every bit of 20 feet off the ground and right over the road. Once again, my heart sunk but I could not react. Just stay calm.
"Very cool buddy, but it's time to come down we are about to leave and go to the restaurant."
Once he is safe I tell him not to do such things because it is really unsafe and he could have broken his neck.
"You didn't act like it was unsafe."
"If I had made a big fuss about it you would have gotten scared and would have been more likely to fall."
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@Dragoon said in Parenting advice - you're gonna get hit:
(coupled with his fear of heights)
One thing I have noticed is that now that I am on ADHD meds my fear of heights has mostly gone away. I think it helps remove some of my impulsivity and therefore I don't have that "what if I decide to lean way over and fall" thing going on in my head.
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@Polygeekery the call of the void/imp of the perverse is pretty scary sometimes. I have less of that since I did a bungee jump. I know what it's like to jump off a crane, so I don't need to wonder any more
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@Polygeekery said in Parenting advice - you're gonna get hit:
She is the polar opposite and never has it on herself and when it is she has it on silent.
This is me too. Plus, I don't like talking on the phone and will let it go to voicemail where I say text or email me.
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@Mason_Wheeler said in Parenting advice - you're gonna get hit:
@Polygeekery I guess I just figure, if you can tell him "stay right there and don't move" while he's on the ladder, and he'll obey and stay safe, you could set him on the roof within arm's reach of the ladder, tell him the same thing, and he'll obey and stay safe while you climb onto the ladder.
As a short person who has climbed trees, shelving and various other things...it is often easier to get up than to do get down.
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@Karla said in Parenting advice - you're gonna get hit:
@Polygeekery said in Parenting advice - you're gonna get hit:
She is the polar opposite and never has it on herself and when it is she has it on silent.
This is me too. Plus, I don't like talking on the phone and will let it go to voicemail where I say text or email me.
It isn't that she doesn't like talking on the phone, she just places little importance on having her phone on her.
I also realize that "gets mad when his wife doesn't answer the phone" can be a sign of a controlling spouse. I have known people who anytime their SO does not answer they get all angry, thinking they are off somewhere doing something (or someone) that they shouldn't be.
That isn't the case with me. For me it is more like:
"I literally never call you unless it is something important, so for the love of god answer your phone."
We compromised by getting her a FitBit that she wears and helps alert her when her phone is on silent, or she left it in her purse, or wherever. It helps.....a little bit.
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@Polygeekery said in Parenting advice - you're gonna get hit:
@Karla said in Parenting advice - you're gonna get hit:
@Polygeekery said in Parenting advice - you're gonna get hit:
She is the polar opposite and never has it on herself and when it is she has it on silent.
This is me too. Plus, I don't like talking on the phone and will let it go to voicemail where I say text or email me.
It isn't that she doesn't like talking on the phone, she just places little importance on having her phone on her.
I also realize that "gets mad when his wife doesn't answer the phone" can be a sign of a controlling spouse. I have known people who anytime their SO does not answer they get all angry, thinking they are off somewhere doing something (or someone) that they shouldn't be.
That isn't the case with me. For me it is more like:
"I literally never call you unless it is something important, so for the love of god answer your phone."
We compromised by getting her a FitBit that she wears and helps alert her when her phone is on silent, or she left it in her purse, or wherever. It helps.....a little bit.
I leave it on my desk plugged in. At work and at home. On silent with vibrate off.
Even when I am out, it is in a pocket or something (unless on the train or waiting for something), on silent with vibrate off.
I only have it out with sound on when I am expecting him to message.
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@Polygeekery said in Parenting advice - you're gonna get hit:
I also realize that "gets mad when his wife doesn't answer the phone" can be a sign of a controlling spouse. I have known people who anytime their SO does not answer they get all angry, thinking they are off somewhere doing something (or someone) that they shouldn't be.
This drives me nuts. Because my wife always has her phone with her. WITH THE RINGER SILENCED!?!
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@boomzilla said in Parenting advice - you're gonna get hit:
@Polygeekery said in Parenting advice - you're gonna get hit:
I also realize that "gets mad when his wife doesn't answer the phone" can be a sign of a controlling spouse. I have known people who anytime their SO does not answer they get all angry, thinking they are off somewhere doing something (or someone) that they shouldn't be.
This drives me nuts. Because my wife always has her phone with her. WITH THE RINGER SILENCED!?!
Is this one of those differences between men and women?
I don't generally wear pants that have pockets or wear a belt so I'm not carrying it around the house or the office.
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@Karla said in Parenting advice - you're gonna get hit:
@boomzilla said in Parenting advice - you're gonna get hit:
@Polygeekery said in Parenting advice - you're gonna get hit:
I also realize that "gets mad when his wife doesn't answer the phone" can be a sign of a controlling spouse. I have known people who anytime their SO does not answer they get all angry, thinking they are off somewhere doing something (or someone) that they shouldn't be.
This drives me nuts. Because my wife always has her phone with her. WITH THE RINGER SILENCED!?!
Is this one of those differences between men and women?
I don't generally wear pants that have pockets or wear a belt so I'm not carrying it around the house or the office.
The phone is IN HER HAND. Or sitting on the table right in front of her.
I leave my phone on my desk most of the time. We'll be at dinner and we'll hear a text come in and my son will jump up to get it. At which point I yell at him to not do that.
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@boomzilla said in Parenting advice - you're gonna get hit:
@Karla said in Parenting advice - you're gonna get hit:
@boomzilla said in Parenting advice - you're gonna get hit:
@Polygeekery said in Parenting advice - you're gonna get hit:
I also realize that "gets mad when his wife doesn't answer the phone" can be a sign of a controlling spouse. I have known people who anytime their SO does not answer they get all angry, thinking they are off somewhere doing something (or someone) that they shouldn't be.
This drives me nuts. Because my wife always has her phone with her. WITH THE RINGER SILENCED!?!
Is this one of those differences between men and women?
I don't generally wear pants that have pockets or wear a belt so I'm not carrying it around the house or the office.
The phone is IN HER HAND. Or sitting on the table right in front of her.
I leave my phone on my desk most of the time. We'll be at dinner and we'll hear a text come in and my son will jump up to get it. At which point I yell at him to not do that.
Then nothing I said applies.