Tinder is shit
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@Groaner said in Tinder is shit:
I count at least five dealbreakers for me. Possibly more, depending on her career and physical appearance.
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@TimeBandit said in Tinder is shit:
@Tsaukpaetra said in Tinder is shit:
no thanks!
Did we just observed the first time you said you would not tap that?
Sometimes the Warthog wins...
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@Gąska said in Tinder is shit:
Most of these are sensible requirements. A lot of prejudice, but also a lot of red flags avoided. But some are straight up bullshit - like, WTF does she mean by "undue emotional labor"? Does she even know what a relationship is? That it involves relating with each other?
There's a lot of drum-beating lately about how women feel obligated to be their male partners' unpaid therapists and how men unconsciously and unfairly dump all their problems on women.
Some of it seems to come from a lack of communication.
Now, one can certainly demand an ideal partner with no unsolved issues or baggage, but in the long haul, for better or for worse, for richer or for poorer, in sickness and in health is pretty unambiguous about the need to support one's partner.
And "doesn't respect my career" sounds like she has a career in something very sketchy.
In another part of her profile, she talks about her house, and given her refusal to live in the suburbs, her house likely costs twice as much as mine, which means she's either some bigwig or her job literally revolves around poles.
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@topspin said in Tinder is shit:
I find some of them create self-fulfilling prophecies for the other side, e.g. never been in a relationship. If everyone does that, how can you ever have a relationship? But then, I don't know her age so maybe that's just excluding people who are way too young for her, who knows.
It's the dating equivalent of "you must have five years' experience."
Another one is the "no social support network". That sounds like "I don't make friends with people who don't have friends". (Or maybe that just hits home and I'm jaded, which really isn't her problem to deal with)
In general, desirable, well-adjusted people will be surrounded by other people. A shortage of friends is a relatively easy problem to solve - just spend a month or so on meetup.com and then you'll be wanting to scale back your new-found commitments.
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@Steve_The_Cynic said in Tinder is shit:
But it does suggest the the person who posted that isn't totally confident about her choice of career, and doesn't want any flak from her date about it.
I'm glad you mentioned that as it puts the requirement about not being unhappy with one's career in a new light. A whole new world of tells and red flags has opened up!
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@Groaner said in Tinder is shit:
There's a lot of drum-beating lately about how women feel obligated to be their male partners' unpaid therapists
Huh? The stereotype is that women rely on their partner/friends/family for emotional support, and men rely on themselves, not the other way around.
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@boomzilla said in Tinder is shit:
@Groaner said in Tinder is shit:
I count at least five dealbreakers for me. Possibly more, depending on her career and physical appearance.
I'm not surprised, as she was a hard pass for me even before the political leanings requirements.
I miss the old OkCupid where messages could be sent without a mutual like first. 24 dealbreakers is a pretty hefty list. If I was feeling charitable, I would suggest she rethink and trim down that list, as if you require someone to be above average in just three independent traits, you have already cut out 87.5% of the population.
Additionally, she needs to get away from the mindset that she can factory order a perfect boyfriend with all the options she wants, as the dating world is full of broken people just trying to find their way through this world.
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@Groaner said in Tinder is shit:
@Gąska said in Tinder is shit:
Most of these are sensible requirements. A lot of prejudice, but also a lot of red flags avoided. But some are straight up bullshit - like, WTF does she mean by "undue emotional labor"? Does she even know what a relationship is? That it involves relating with each other?
There's a lot of drum-beating lately about how women feel obligated to be their male partners' unpaid therapists and how men unconsciously and unfairly dump all their problems on women.
Like, men should stop talking about their problems? Talk about supporting traditional gender stereotypes.
Now, one can certainly demand an ideal partner with no unsolved issues or baggage, but in the long haul, for better or for worse, for richer or for poorer, in sickness and in health is pretty unambiguous about the need to support one's partner.
You know, once you marry (and IMO way before that, starting in the second year of dating), then you absolutely should help each other in times of need, including times of being extremely depressed and maybe even psychotic. But why put yourself in that position right from the start? With a person you barely know at that point?
or her job literally revolves around poles.
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@Groaner said in Tinder is shit:
In general, desirable, well-adjusted people will be surrounded by other people.
Guess I'm not desirable.
(The other part is tautological with being here)
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@Groaner said in Tinder is shit:
the
datingworld is full of broken people just trying to find their wayFTFY
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@Gąska said in Tinder is shit:
Like, men should stop talking about their problems? Talk about supporting traditional gender stereotypes.
As usual, feminists like gender stereotypes when they can extract a benefit from them. It's men's fault for keeping silent about their problems if their silence somehow indirectly harms women, but men are still expected to hold frame and act "masculine" as they have for the past several thousand years.
Occasionally, I'll see some virtue-signaling in Zuckeropolis about how men ought to feel comfortable sharing their emotions and challenges. If women truly wanted to incent this behavior, they would find ways to reward men for compliance, and men would quickly fall in line. As it happens, however, men are frequently punished for sharing such intimate details, so they revert to the tried and true masculinity developed over thousands of years.
You know, once you marry (and IMO way before that, starting in the second year of dating), then you absolutely should help each other in times of need, including times of being extremely depressed and maybe even psychotic. But why put yourself in that position right from the start? With a person you barely know at that point?
That's really up to the individual, in terms of what s/he is willing to tolerate in terms of risk vs. reward.
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@Groaner said in Tinder is shit:
as the dating world is full of broken people just trying to find their way through this world.
It's probably fair to say that the broken people are probably concentrated / over-represented in the dating world.
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@Zerosquare said in Tinder is shit:
@Groaner said in Tinder is shit:
There's a lot of drum-beating lately about how women feel obligated to be their male partners' unpaid therapists
Huh? The stereotype is that women rely on their partner/friends/family for emotional support, and men rely on themselves, not the other way around.
Women has complained that men don't talk about their feelings. When they do, it's apparently not good.
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@Groaner said in Tinder is shit:
Occasionally, I'll see some virtue-signaling in Zuckeropolis about how men ought to feel comfortable sharing their emotions and challenges. If women truly wanted to incent this behavior, they would find ways to reward men for compliance, and men would quickly fall in line. As it happens, however, men are frequently punished for sharing such intimate details, so they revert to the tried and true masculinity developed over thousands of years.
@Carnage said in Tinder is shit:
Women has complained that men don't talk about their feelings. When they do, it's apparently not good.
You do realize there's no one huge organism called "the women" you can blame for being hypocritical when some think men should be allowed to talk about their feelings, right? Geez.
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@topspin said in Tinder is shit:
You do realize there's no one huge organism called "the women"
Of course there is, women are identical.
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@topspin boobies
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@topspin said in Tinder is shit:
Mostly agreed.
I find some of them create self-fulfilling prophecies for the other side, e.g. never been in a relationship. If everyone does that, how can you ever have a relationship?Lie.
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You guys are just using it wrong...
How Tinder saved a woman's life while stranded in wilderness
Who says there’s no decent guys online? A road-tripping German woman was rescued from the treacherous Norwegian wilderness when she set up a Tinder account — and enlisted help from one of...
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@boomzilla said in Tinder is shit:
You guys are just using it wrong...
Not so sure about that:
It wasn’t clear whether Stian [the guy who rescued her] scored a date.
On the other hand, note to self: if you ever need help, look like an attractive woman. At least in your picture.
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@topspin said in Tinder is shit:
On the other hand, note to self: if you ever need help, look like an attractive woman.
This has been true long before Tinder.
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@error_bot xkcd tinder
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@Groaner said in Tinder is shit:
I don't tend to hang around groups that spend entire afternoons playing board games anymore
I feel personally offended by that statement.
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@dfdub said in Tinder is shit:
@Groaner said in Tinder is shit:
I don't tend to hang around groups that spend entire afternoons playing board games anymore
I feel personally offended by that statement.
i know, right? boardgames are awesome!
i'm on year two of a RISK game at work.
it sounds worse than it actually is, but we only play at Lunch and only do one round a meetup which is three times a day. so it's a long game, but not.... you know "couple of hours a day for 700+ days" its just "About 300ish turns"
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@Vixen said in Tinder is shit:
boardgames are awesome!
Especially playing new games until you've figured out the mechanics. It's even more fun when those games are cooperative.
However, there's an easy way to ruin every game night: Munchkin. It aways sounds like a good idea until you're two hours in and hate everyone, including yourself for agreeing to participate.
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@dfdub said in Tinder is shit:
@Vixen said in Tinder is shit:
boardgames are awesome!
Especially playing new games until you've figured out the mechanics. It's even more fun when those games are cooperative.
However, there's an easy way to ruin every game night: Munchkin. It aways sounds like a good idea until you're two hours in and hate everyone, including yourself for agreeing to participate.
Munchkin and its clones can DIAF. there's no skill only luck in those games.
CaH is..... not so good with not close frienemies... just because of what CaH is.
Monopoly is actually a decent game if you axe all the house rules and rule misunderstandings. all those do is break the game into a horrible horrible slog of no fun at all.
Risk is amazing, but if you don't want the game to grind to a halt at some point get the version of the map that connects new zeeland and hawaii, because otherwise a player can get all of Austrailia then sit their entire army on Papua New Guinean and say "FUCK OFF" to anyone who attacks more or less indefinitely.
Warhammer 44k is..... well it's a game that will eventually cost more than your car, but it's an amazing world and a hell of a good game. and if you're artistic enough to want to paint your own miniatures it gets even better. Protip. you can seriously reduce the cost of the minis by buying a good 3D printer and designing your own and printing them. if you get good at the designing you can even sell the STLs and printed models for money. which is cool!
The trading card games are.... fun and all but the whole "i don't know what i'm getting when i buy" thing is a bit of a turnoff.... also the second hand market for those things can be brutal. all the cards you have everyone else does so they sell for pennies on the dollar, if they sell at all.... and all the cards you want are tens to hundreds to thousands of dollars....
and of course there's all these new board games that keep coming out from indie developers! some of those are amazeballs, and the rest are totally fun to play!
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@Vixen said in Tinder is shit:
Warhammer 44k is..... well it's a game that will eventually cost more than your car
Well yeah! It's right there in the title. You didn't think 44K actually referred to the year, did you?
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@Vixen said in Tinder is shit:
The trading card games are.... fun and all but the whole "i don't know what i'm getting when i buy" thing is a bit of a turnoff.... also the second hand market for those things can be brutal. all the cards you have everyone else does so they sell for pennies on the dollar, if they sell at all.... and all the cards you want are tens to hundreds to thousands of dollars....
CCGs are pretty much dead for at least a few years. Most new or still alive titles are LCGs, where you know exactly what you get when buying a pack - which does away with pay to win insanity and makes you focus on actually playing the game.
and of course there's all these new board games that keep coming out from indie developers! some of those are amazeballs, and the rest are totally fun to play!
There's a lot of great games out there, and new great titles appear all the time, true. But I wouldn't say that all of them are fun to play. Sturgeon's law applies as always. Plus, with board gaming becoming more and more popular, some bad trends started to appear recently.
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@MrL said in Tinder is shit:
@Vixen said in Tinder is shit:
The trading card games are.... fun and all but the whole "i don't know what i'm getting when i buy" thing is a bit of a turnoff.... also the second hand market for those things can be brutal. all the cards you have everyone else does so they sell for pennies on the dollar, if they sell at all.... and all the cards you want are tens to hundreds to thousands of dollars....
CCGs are pretty much dead for at least a few years. Most new or still alive titles are LCGs, where you know exactly what you get when buying a pack - which does away with pay to win insanity and makes you focus on actually playing the game.
and of course there's all these new board games that keep coming out from indie developers! some of those are amazeballs, and the rest are totally fun to play!
There's a lot of great games out there, and new great titles appear all the time, true. But I wouldn't say that all of them are fun to play. Sturgeon's law applies as always. Plus, with board gaming becoming more and more popular, some bad trends started to appear recently.
Magic the Gathering? Still makes buckets of money and keeps the FLGS in business single-handedly. The rest of their business is peanuts comparatively.
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@Benjamin-Hall said in Tinder is shit:
Magic the Gathering? Still makes buckets of money and keeps the FLGS in business single-handedly. The rest of their business is peanuts comparatively.
That's why I wrote 'most'.
It's a terrible game btw. I was always amazed by its popularity.
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@MrL said in Tinder is shit:
@Benjamin-Hall said in Tinder is shit:
Magic the Gathering? Still makes buckets of money and keeps the FLGS in business single-handedly. The rest of their business is peanuts comparatively.
That's why I wrote 'most'.
It's a terrible game btw. I was always amazed by its popularity.
Same. But it's astonishingly popular and lucrative.
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@dfdub said in Tinder is shit:
@Groaner said in Tinder is shit:
I don't tend to hang around groups that spend entire afternoons playing board games anymore
I feel personally offended by that statement.
If you enjoy them, great! However, I don't, and way too many local meetups are focused around them. If you end up attending, it's invariably a 90:10 male-female ratio, with the 10% being "single, attractive, mentally stable, choose two," which does not make for good hunting grounds. Good hunting grounds are kind of the main reason to leave the house in the first place.
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@Vixen said in Tinder is shit:
i know, right? boardgames are awesome!
Let's play this complicated boardgame with RPG elements that takes half an hour to set up and each turn has several different phases that you now must learn and remember.
Ugh, ok, fine, I'll give it a shot.-20 turns later-
Okay, I think I'm finally getting the hang of how to play this!
Game over! I win! Now, let's discard everything you just learned and play a completely different game with equally complex setup and rules.
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@Groaner
Sounds like you need to start playing with friends instead of random strangers.
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@dfdub said in Tinder is shit:
@Groaner
Sounds like you need to start playing with friends instead of random strangers.I have. The experience is roughly the same with friends as it is with random strangers (and random strangers who eventually became friends).
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@Groaner said in Tinder is shit:
The experience is roughly the same with friends
Find better friends, then.
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@dfdub said in Tinder is shit:
@Groaner said in Tinder is shit:
The experience is roughly the same with friends
Find better friends, then.
And now you understand why I perform cost-benefit analyses and am utilitarian when it comes to potential friend groups!
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@Groaner said in Tinder is shit:
@dfdub said in Tinder is shit:
@Groaner said in Tinder is shit:
I don't tend to hang around groups that spend entire afternoons playing board games anymore
I feel personally offended by that statement.
If you enjoy them, great! However, I don't, and way too many local meetups are focused around them. If you end up attending, it's invariably a 90:10 male-female ratio, with the 10% being "single, attractive, mentally stable, choose two," which does not make for good hunting grounds. Good hunting grounds are kind of the main reason to leave the house in the first place.
While you complain about the lack of other options, I'm instead kind of envious about your apparently large supply of this. That one game meet-up I go to like every two months is largely the most social interaction I get.
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@Groaner said in Tinder is shit:
@dfdub said in Tinder is shit:
@Groaner
Sounds like you need to start playing with friends instead of random strangers.I have. The experience is roughly the same with friends as it is with random strangers (and random strangers who eventually became friends).
From my experience (board) gamers fall into two categories when it comes to game preferences.
Some like to play the same games many times. They feel comfortable in settings they know, they like to explore strategies deeply, and they like using tricks/combos they know well. Learning new games is not their favorite thing.
Others like to try new games all the time. They like to push their luck in unknown environments, they like the challenge of developing strategies while playing and they like comparing games. When given a choice between known game and a new one, they will always choose new one.
It seems you play with the wrong crowd.
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@topspin said in Tinder is shit:
@Groaner said in Tinder is shit:
@dfdub said in Tinder is shit:
@Groaner said in Tinder is shit:
I don't tend to hang around groups that spend entire afternoons playing board games anymore
I feel personally offended by that statement.
If you enjoy them, great! However, I don't, and way too many local meetups are focused around them. If you end up attending, it's invariably a 90:10 male-female ratio, with the 10% being "single, attractive, mentally stable, choose two," which does not make for good hunting grounds. Good hunting grounds are kind of the main reason to leave the house in the first place.
While you complain about the lack of other options, I'm instead kind of envious about your apparently large supply of this. That one game meet-up I go to like every two months is largely the most social interaction I get.
Well, there's nothing really magical about my methods - just go on meetup.com, look for things that are remotely interesting, and suddenly you have a relatively full calendar. Now, if you're in part of the world where there's not much going on, I can sympathize. I do have to drive half an hour across town sometimes for events, but that's partly my fault for choosing to live in the suburbs instead of the city.
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@MrL said in Tinder is shit:
@Groaner said in Tinder is shit:
@dfdub said in Tinder is shit:
@Groaner
Sounds like you need to start playing with friends instead of random strangers.I have. The experience is roughly the same with friends as it is with random strangers (and random strangers who eventually became friends).
From my experience (board) gamers fall into two categories when it comes to game preferences.
Some like to play the same games many times. They feel comfortable in settings they know, they like to explore strategies deeply, and they like using tricks/combos they know well. Learning new games is not their favorite thing.
Others like to try new games all the time. They like to push their luck in unknown environments, they like the challenge of developing strategies while playing and they like comparing games. When given a choice between known game and a new one, they will always choose new one.
It seems you play with the wrong crowd.
You are correct to infer that I prefer depth to breadth, which is how I ended up with 1600+ hours in KSP.
The board game enthusiasts I've met are the types who have invested thousands of dollars into their collections, and don't have bookcases full of games as much as entire walls of them. As you might reasonably expect, they want to play the many games which they have collected, which leads to the above scenario.
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@Groaner said in Tinder is shit:
You are correct to infer that I prefer depth to breadth, which is how I ended up with 1600+ hours in KSP.
KSP?
The board game enthusiasts I've met are the types who have invested thousands of dollars into their collections, and don't have bookcases full of games as much as entire walls of them. As you might reasonably expect, they want to play the many games which they have collected, which leads to the above scenario.
Yeah, that's me. I play new games very often. Very often buy new ones myself.
Most games are played once or twice. But those that stay in my collection are the best of the best, and those get many plays over the years.
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@PleegWat said in Tinder is shit:
@Zerosquare said in Tinder is shit:
@MrL said in Tinder is shit:
KSP?
More boosters!
Rapid Unplanned Dissassembly
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@Vixen said in Tinder is shit:
@PleegWat said in Tinder is shit:
@Zerosquare said in Tinder is shit:
@MrL said in Tinder is shit:
KSP?
More boosters!
Rapid Unplanned Dissassembly
Unscheduled lithobraking
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@PleegWat said in Tinder is shit:
@Vixen said in Tinder is shit:
@PleegWat said in Tinder is shit:
@Zerosquare said in Tinder is shit:
@MrL said in Tinder is shit:
KSP?
More boosters!
Rapid Unplanned Dissassembly
Unscheduled lithobraking
Women Aren't Nags—We're Just Fed Up
1927: Tinder - explain xkcd
Kerbal Space Program - Wikipedia
