How not to CV
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##Tip 6:
Either include personal information or not. Don't do this.
What's this, a fucking Anime video game from the 80-ies? "In the year 199x..."
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In AD 2101
war was beginning.
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Somebody set up us the bomb!
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Tip 7:
Good: Spruce up your knowledge laundry list with the technologies required in the job ad
Bad: Invest so little effort into this that it's painfully obvious what you didFiled under: MS Word's fiddly paragraph formatting to the rescue
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##Tip 8:
No. Just no.
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Agreed. The correct way to get that across is to throw out some zingers at your interviewer's expense.
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##Tip 9:
If you're gonna submit some actual code, make sure it's not.... you know, embarrassing.
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Chapta -> Complete Human Autodetecting Public Test Automation
Perfectly cromulent
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Tip 10
Sending your CV in a PDF? Good.
Sending your CV as a bitmap in a PDF? That's too primal for us, dude.
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@cartman82
That's a lot of JS.
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@RaceProUK What does it even mean that you are skilled in "BabylonJS"? You use a build system so you can write ES6?
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@cartman82 I think you're thinking of Babel; BabylonJS is a WebGL wrapper.
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@RaceProUK said in How not to CV:
@cartman82 I think you're thinking of Babel; BabylonJS is a WebGL wrapper.
Oh right! This guy is deep into 3D stuff...
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@Yamikuronue said in How not to CV:
How hard is it to join MENSA? I've seen a lot of idiots claiming to be members.
The problem with MENSA's tests, I suspect, is that they are a narrow measure of intelligence, and there are many people with highly ... uneven ... levels of intelligence across a wider range of measures.
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@Steve_The_Cynic Also, one of the requirements seems to be "Are you willing to work the word MENSA into a minimum of every third sentence?"
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@Steve_The_Cynic Mensa tests your IQ, which as a measure of a particular set of classes of problem-solving ability, is a number. But they don't measure anything that could reasonably be considered real-world intelligence, which is far more important.
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@RaceProUK said in How not to CV:
@Steve_The_Cynic Mensa tests your IQ, which as a measure of a particular set of classes of problem-solving ability, is a number. But they don't measure anything that could reasonably be considered real-world intelligence, which is far more important.
I think that's more or less what I said, with added specifics. ;)
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@cartman82 said in How not to CV:
Tip 10
Sending your CV in a PDF? Good.
Sending your CV as a bitmap in a PDF? That's too primal for us, dude.
Or he's previously worked with dubious recruiters with adobe acrobat licenses?
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@Steve_The_Cynic said in How not to CV:
there are many people with highly ... uneven ... levels of intelligence across a wider range of measures.
Ain't that the truth! In the dog sports I do, I run into a number of people with PhDs, etc. Doctors, nurses, rocket scientists. And smart is not the first thing I think... Well, actually the rocket scientist is -he's pretty cool.
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@RaceProUK said in How not to CV:
@cartman82
That's a lot of JS.No, what it says there it that he knows three JS: the Babylon JS, the Angular JS and the Node JS.
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@anonymous234 Three JS of orient are?
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@Yamikuronue One in a package, one in a RAR
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@RaceProUK E_OFF_BY_ONE_ERROR
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@boomzilla said in How not to CV:
@Yamikuronue said in How not to CV:
@anonymous234 Three JS of orient are?
Walking into a bar?
And one of them was TypeScript?
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@RaceProUK said in How not to CV:
@cartman82
That's a lot of JS.As much as I hate people who just overload their resumes with every js library they've so much as browsed the documentation on, I'm willing to give a pass here since they each represent some very distinct niches.
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@RaceProUK said in How not to CV:
Mensa tests your IQ, which as a measure of a particular set of classes of problem-solving ability, is a number. But they don't measure anything that could reasonably be considered real-world intelligence, which is far more important.
They didn't let you in, huh?
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@Yamikuronue said in How not to CV:
dyscalculia or dyslexia has zilch to do with someone's actual intelligence
But a lot to do with performance on tests.
I read this and the first thing I think is, "so for Yami, 4 + 2 = 2?" :P
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@cartman82 said in How not to CV:
##Tip 6:
Either include personal information or not. Don't do this.
What's this, a fucking Anime video game from the 80-ies? "In the year 199x..."
I'm guessing that that's the address for his phone - his "phone address".
Filed under: Not that this explanation helps in any way...
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@cartman82 said in How not to CV:
##Tip 6:
Either include personal information or not. Don't do this.
What's this, a fucking Anime video game from the 80-ies? "In the year 20X6..."
Stinkoman?
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@The_Quiet_One said in How not to CV:
@RaceProUK said in How not to CV:
@cartman82
That's a lot of JS.As much as I hate people who just overload their resumes with every js library they've so much as browsed the documentation on, I'm willing to give a pass here since they each represent some very distinct niches.
I feel like JavaScript developers should put a list of the libraries they don't use in their projects in their CV:
left-pad, five.js, addOneToInteger, APDB.js
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@ben_lubar ...Vanilla.JS
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@djls45 said in How not to CV:
/me wants there to also be a Chocolate.JS, a Strawberry.JS, and a Banana.JS too
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@RaceProUK said in How not to CV:
Chocolate.JS
@RaceProUK said in How not to CV:
Strawberry.JS
Can't find a javascript library, but here's a SASS framework
@RaceProUK said in How not to CV:
Banana.JS
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@RaceProUK
Durian?
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@Luhmann
Those greedy Yoshis ate them all, now there are none left to use in JavaScript
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@RaceProUK said in How not to CV:
Is there any fruit that isn't used as the name of a JS project?
No.
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@fbmac Started two years ago, one commit, no code.
Makes you wonder why they bothered.
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@RaceProUK that describes half of github
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@fbmac said in How not to CV:
@RaceProUK that describes
half ofgithub
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@RaceProUK said in How not to CV:
Is there any fruit that isn't used as the name of a JS project?
I couldn't find a chuckberry.js or halleberry.js…
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@ben_lubar said in How not to CV:
@cartman82 said in How not to CV:
##Tip 6:
Either include personal information or not. Don't do this.
What's this, a fucking Anime video game from the 80-ies? "In the year 20X6..."
Stinkoman?
From BO-grad
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@ben_lubar said in How not to CV:
@The_Quiet_One said in How not to CV:
@RaceProUK said in How not to CV:
@cartman82
That's a lot of JS.As much as I hate people who just overload their resumes with every js library they've so much as browsed the documentation on, I'm willing to give a pass here since they each represent some very distinct niches.
I feel like JavaScript developers should put a list of the libraries they don't use in their projects in their CV:
left-pad, five.js, addOneToInteger, APDB.js
What's really sad is I had to google those last three libraries to make sure you were being facetious, mainly because I know the first one was real.
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@RaceProUK said in How not to CV:
Makes you wonder why they bothered.
Resume.
(edit: Or CV for some of you)
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Cherry?
Boysenberry?
Tomato?
Orange? (Similarly, lime, lemon and grapefruit?)
Guava?
Grape?