I need to set up a counterpart, a typical European breakfast as imagined by an American. An entire wedding cake dripping with fruit in syrup, a couple of large fish with the heads still on, blood sausage, an entire magnum of red wine, and three packs of unfiltered cigarettes.
Posts made by da_Doctah
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RE: The Official Funny Stuff Thread™
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RE: 🙅 THE BAD IDEAS THREAD
I've only had arson-ic compulsions during my interactions with certain entities.
To be fair, they did have your stapler....
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RE: Patterns of Primes
"keep in mind that primes can only end in 1, 3, 7, or 9"
if you exclude 2, and 5 from that statement as being "trivial" then it is accurate. ay even number has two as a divisor, so the only even number prime is 2, and any number ending in 5 must be divisible by 5 and so 5 is the only prime with a ones digit of 5.
So you adjust your wording: "keep in mind that multi-digit primes can only end in 1, 3, 7, or 9".
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RE: Pi Day: More reasons to hate the English language
Could never make up my mind if Aronofsky's surreal film π should be counted.
Why not? What are you, some kind of latinicist?
Not me, IMDb.
Same site that got all the Icelandic names right in Ben Stiller's "The Secret Life of Walter Mitty", when the movie's own credits butchered them.
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RE: Pi Day: More reasons to hate the English language
Some years ago I happened to watch both M (the thriller with Peter Lorre as a serial killer) and Z (Costa-Gavras's political potboiler) on the same day. I wondered just how many other movies there were with one-letter titles (I vaguely remembered a John Leslie porn fantasy called F, but some sources gave the full title as F...and Lots of It, and if I accepted that as the official title I'd be inclined to disqualify it.)
Could never make up my mind if Aronofsky's surreal film π should be counted.
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RE: Dumb and Random Videos Thread
He's not trolling them, he's incrementally creating squirrels that can fly. Horrid bat-like things.
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RE: 🙅 THE BAD IDEAS THREAD
I know! We should do a Kickstarter to produce a Battlefield Earth/Leonard Part 6/Pluto Nash crossover set on Kashyyk! With Kevin Costner, Pauly Shore, Tommy Wiseau, and Adam Sandler in the lead roles, and Michael Cimino co-directing with Uwe Boll!
Huh, I was expecting to get at least one good "Why would you do that?" out of this. SON I AM DISAPPOINT.
Maybe if you'd thrown in Joe Piscopo or Carrot Top....
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RE: The Official Funny Stuff Thread™
However, 19-year-old Rusty Shackleford of Lombard, in line to attend the
Trump rally, said he was there to "support the man who wants to make
America great again."Rusty Shackleford? BWAHAHAHAAA!!!
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RE: In other news today...
A Swedish doctor who has previously hit the headlines for using a controversial 'anal massage' technique to cure various aches and pains has had his licence revoked.
Darn. And just when business was looking up.
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RE: The ironic ideas thread
@Lorne_Kates said:
Making fun of people's incorrect usage of "ironic" by referencing Alanis Morrisette--
Canadians, amirite?
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RE: The quasi Official Stupid Ideas that have actually been done thread
@Lorne_Kates said:
Call them a "cunt". That's macroaggressivly offensive.
Only if you subscribe to the opinion that female genitalia are inherently offensive.
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RE: 🙅 THE BAD IDEAS THREAD
How's that thing steer?
It's like the cartoon I saw (dated roughly 1939) in which some rich guy is showing off his new car when someone asks him how he turns it around to go back home. His response: "I abandon it and place an order for another car facing the other way."
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RE: The Official Funny Stuff Thread™
Do not tell everyone Brad is dead. Brad is not dead. He is in Florida. He will be back on Monday.
"You loved Brad. And then you totalled him. You two had been through everything together: two boyfriends, three jobs. You're like 'nothing can replace Brad'."
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RE: 🔥 Australia. Now in Europe.
That's not what everyone keeps telling me.
Well "everyone" would be wrong.
So Cuba's not in North America, Britain's not in Europe, and Japan's not in Asia. Fine. I'll send people to you when they say otherwise.
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RE: YouTube belatedly promises to have a couple human beings involved with ContentID
Peter Noone is a musician. Why is he so interested in blocking copyright holders from finding lawyers?
This door swings both ways.
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RE: 📧 The Official Spam Emails Thread™
Mind you, "Obama's Hackers" would be a great name for a rock band. Or techno. Or some kind of jazz fusion thing. Something like that.
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RE: 🔥 Australia. Now in Europe.
What color is the sky on this mysterious planet that is so like Earth as to have the same political designations but without the usual geographic landmasses?
Maybe it's the one I was born on. Where I was born and lived the first ten years of my life in the state of California, but didn't live on the North American continent.
Used to think I did, but then someone explained to me that a continent isn't just a bunch of land you can walk from one end of to the other without drowning, but there's all this business about "continental shelves" and "tectonic plates" that determines such things. So Cuba is part of North America but the part of SoCal that's west of the San Andreas fault isn't.
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RE: The bad jokes topic 🐴🍹👨
How many Rednecks does it take to change a light bulb?
One. But they'll get the Mexicans to pay for it.
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RE: The Official Funny Stuff Thread™
My grandfather had a cat that I described as "hemidecaudated".
(Back story: Christmas 1970. Three women puttering around an open-plan kitchen that normally held only one. Metal cabinets at all levels being opened and closed at random but frequent intervals. And a young blue-point Siamese tom trying to be a part of the frantic action. Cabinet door is opened, middle section of tail somehow finds itself between cabinet and door, cabinet door is closed suddenly, feline scream penetrates the air. The tail survived for a few days before becoming gangrenous and requiring amputation.)
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RE: 🙅 THE BAD IDEAS THREAD
We (and other moving companies) still use multi-part paper forms
Okay, but are there enough of you, buying new typewriters often enough, to justify keeping a considerable chunk of retail display dedicated to showing off typewriters?
Seriously, I'd love to see the math on this from corporate.
(Incidentally, the worst possible name for an office-supply company has to be "Staples". Sure, it evokes the spirit of office stuff, but when you're working in that office and need a box of actual staples, it's a huge distraction to walk into the supply room looking for them and be confronted by hundreds of boxes of every size, all with the word "Staples" printed on the side in humungous red letters.)
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RE: Is the Moon a planet, a star or an alien conspiracy?
The problem I have with conspiracy theories:
Have you seen these conspirators? They can't accomplish anything even with the full observation, approval and cooperation of the general public. Yet we're supposed to believe that they are competent enough to accomplish these elaborate sinister schemes, and keep them concealed from that same public. Except of course from the theorists who've figured them out.
Sorry. The bad guys just aren't that smart. Nobody is.
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RE: 🙅 THE BAD IDEAS THREAD
A lot of people still need typewriters for paper form filling.
What, in this context, constitutes "a lot"? Are we doing Donald Trump style counting here, where he spoke of the "hundreds of thousands of members" of Veterans for a Strong America, when in fact the organization had exactly one member?
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RE: The minor rants thread.
it's pretty debatable whether good old Harald was called Bluetooth at all. The 'blue' bit is likely to have meant black or dark, and the 'tooth' bit could mean that or could be a mistranslation of the word for chieftain or lord. So he may have been Bluetooth, or maybe he was Blacktooth, or maybe he was the Blue Chieftain - it's theorised he may have liked to dress in blue - or he may have been the Dark Lord.
Maybe he's like the Blue Rajah in "Mystery Men", whose crime-fighting costume contained every color except blue.
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RE: Is the Moon a planet, a star or an alien conspiracy?
The hollow one always gets a giggle.
The moon is hollow, if by "hollow" you mean "composed mostly of empty space, just like every other material object".
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RE: Global literacy is a problem, it must be stamped out...
The first has a wrong headline but correct first sentence. EDIT: actually I take that back, it's identical to the second one which can easily be expanded to "literacy problem".
The second merely says "tackle global literacy", which could be expanded to "global literacy problem", which is fine.
The third specifically says, "global literacy crisis", which is fine.
I am suddenly reminded of a bit George Carlin used to do about "National Drug Abuse Week", which he claimed sounded like "if you're not already into drugs, get started right away!"
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RE: 🙅 THE BAD IDEAS THREAD
dumb typewriters still exist
It's worse than that. I could sort of understand "they still make these for niche markets and we can order one from the factory if we get someone from the late Pleistocene asking for it". But every OfficeMax, Staples, OfficeDepot and whatever other brands you recognize has two typewriter models on display, plugged in so people can play with them. Granted, they can no longer be counted on to have a sheet of paper rolled into the platen for those impromptu demos, but they're still in the stores taking up precious retail space.
(Not every piece of obsolete technology is on open display. Head to one of those stores tomorrow morning and try to buy a box of leads for a retractable grease-pencil/china marker. I'll even spot you the brand name "Listo" under the pretense that it will help you describe it for the slack-jawed yoof on the sales floor.)
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RE: "The Cloud" is the new internet
We used to distinguish stuff that was really saved from stuff that was just floating around where it could disappear at any moment. If you were the generation before me, "really saved" meant "printed out on fanfold paper and collected into binders"; for my own cohort, it had to do with what kind of media you used. Stuff that was just floating around wasn't quite "real" and was therefore inferior to something that was "written in stone".
That was the expression.
Now all that "permanent" hard-copy stuff is turning yellow, the ink is fading, and the paper is beginning to disintegrate, while the ephemeral floaty cloudy stuff exists as signals on various silicon chips.
And silicon is a fancy name for...er...stone!
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RE: The Official Funny Stuff Thread™
My favorite WTF movie warning was the standard disclaimer that "this motion picture is a work of fiction. Any persons, places, institutions, incidents and events depicted are strictly imaginary and any resemblance to actual persons, places, institutions, incidents and events is purely coincidental."
On Cronenberg's The Fly.
So if you happen to know someone who, experimenting with teleportation, gets his genes spliced with those of a household insect and transforms into a monstrous hybrid creature that can disfigure and kill you by vomiting digestive juices onto you, don't worry. This movie isn't actually about that guy.
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RE: In other news today...
was there a mouse hurricane that they didn't have time to prepare for?
Don't anybody tell the SyFy channel or we'll have to endure three "Mousicane" movies.
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RE: 📧 The Official Spam Emails Thread™
The learn more link is less interesting than I expected for something named "unifap".
See? You're learning already. -
RE: The Official Funny Stuff Thread™
Rare footage of an Australian bird species trying to acclimate to the northern hemisphere.
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RE: Only for Albert Einstein: 3-3×6+2=??
I drop Ma and Pa Kettle jokes every so often and nobody gets them.
I know, right? You call a couple of your friends Crowbar and Geoduck and everybody just stares at you.
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RE: 🙅 THE BAD IDEAS THREAD
Yeah, but we must follow our bureaucratic rules, no exceptions
"Listen, cowboy! I've got a job to do! It's a stupid, pointless job, but at least it keeps me away from Iceland, all right?!"
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RE: 🙅 THE BAD IDEAS THREAD
There's no prohibition on minors having credit cards, so long as the parent accepts responsibility for the bills.
That depends on a lot of variables. Years ago, when I was working for a major credit-card company, there was a big to-do up in the corporate offices about some kid who had started his own company and become a millionaire at fifteen getting one of our premium cards, and then someone found out he was under 18 and invalidated the account on that basis.
Many of us down in the ranks who lived in the real world thought it was stupid that his age alone disqualified him from holding one of our cards when he was probably a lot more creditworthy than many of the "adults" on our rolls.
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RE: The Official Good Ideas Thread™
Fire up that asshole!
Am I supposed to read this figuratively or literally?
I believe the traditional expression is Fire in the hole! -
RE: YouTube spouts some bullshit about respecting Fair Use.
@Lorne_Kates said:
I can count how many people I've legitimately heard calling Google "Alaphbet" on the number of vaginas I have.
Damn, I thought I knew all the metric system units!
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RE: The Official Funny Stuff Thread™
You also come from the land of Raymond Luxury-Yacht
The very land that dispels any notion that there is such a thing as a single underlying national character. The same country that invented rugby also invented Morris dancing.
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RE: Only for Albert Einstein: 3-3×6+2=??
Just to close the circle, in APL 3 - 3 × 6 + 2 yields the result -21 (not -21, which is not a literal but an expression that happens to have the same value).
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RE: The Official Funny Stuff Thread™
No inconsistency there. Neil Young is Canadian.
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RE: Only for Albert Einstein: 3-3×6+2=??
No sane language would ever make the plus operator right-associative. Some languages are very creative with other operators, though.
In APL, all operators are right-associative (or more accurately, all expressions are evaluated from right to left).
But even in algebra, before there was programming for real people, exponentiation has always been right-associative:
2^3^2 = 512
(assuming left-associativity would give you 64). -
RE: In other news today...
smut
/smət/noun
- a small flake of soot or other dirt.
"all those black smuts from the engine" - a fungal disease of grains in which parts of the ear change to black powder
verb
- mark with flakes or soot or other dirt.
"the smutted sky" - infect (a plant) with smut."smutted wheat"
I see nothing wrong here.
- a small flake of soot or other dirt.
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RE: The Official Funny Stuff Thread™
You mean people who went directly to Heaven, right? But they aren't here to play with Legos
If Heaven doesn't have Legos, I ain't going.