Upside-down job ads



  • Is it just me who's been noticing a trend recently towards job postings that are even more ludicrous than normal? I keep seeing things which are akin to advertising for a cleaner at minimum wage, with a note like 'in addition, must be a qualified and experienced cardiac surgeon'. The latest one I've seen was for junior 1st line support/sysadmin and required 'in addition, MUST have in-depth knowledge and experience in [...] database creation, modification & upkeep' - and offering a salary that's low for the support job, let alone being even in the same ballpark as what a qualified, experienced DBA expects.

    Actually, on that note, does anyone know of any half-useful slave-traders in the UK that they'd recommend?



  • @MascarponeRun said:

    Actually, on that note, does anyone know of any half-useful slave-traders in the UK that they'd recommend?

     

    Hays. They are slave-traders, in the UK, and [considerably less than] half-useful. Last time I was with them was also the only time. Wouldn't sign with them again unless the alternative was starvation. Not only were they incapable of processing anything correctly, be it timesheets or expenses, but they overloaded their own people beyond all reason. My pimpette was looking after 220 people.

    If you want someone rather better, I've been as happy as one can be when being sold down the river with IDPP and Open Spaces.

     



  • Our job agency (where I had to register due to a 3 months gap between successfully finishing my studies and the first possible entry date into my actual job) recently tried to sell me a job as a "Network Administrator". No, seriously, it stood right there on the application form.

    The actual job was that of a lowly 1st level tech support grunt.

    I would have done that if it had made sense from a monetary viewpoint - but even that was not in the picture.

    My line of reasoning: I'm getting 634€ per month from the job agency plus health insurance is covered, and I don't have to do anything besides looking for a job (which is doubtful since, y'know the 3 months, which is actually only two and a half now, since towards the end I'll have to find a new appartment, have to move, get documents, fill out forms and that kind of stuff. No, I don't know yet where I'll end up. I'll know towards the end of December).
    So, that's 634€.

    Contrast that with a 35hrs/week job, where I'm getting 7,50€ per hour. Which means that I'll arrive at roughly 1100€ per month. I'll need to use public transportation, that adds one and a half hour to the seven hours per day. Additionally, there's a mandatory half hour pause (which is not paid), so make that 2 hours on top of the 7 hours.
    The pass for public transport for one month costs 100€. I'll have to pay for health insurance, 150€. I'll have to pay taxes, 100€. Which means I'll arrive at ~750€ for one month.

    You may now call me lazy, but I simply think it's not worth it, considering that I have no future at all at this company, it's only 3 months, the gap being not my fault at all and, to top it off, I've come to loathe call-center jobs during my time at university.



  • @Rhywden said:

    So, that's 634€.
     

    That's €200 less than the base rent of my apartment.

    Where do you live where €634 is above the poverty line?



  • Well, it's a combination of two funds: One for basic living (354€) + plus one for the rent (in my case: 280€ total).

    The rent fund gives you a certain maximum appartment size and also a certain limit for Euro/m², usually dependant upon the average rent in the area. And, yes, it's a rather small town, but try to find an appartment where you have to tell the landlord that you're most probably gone again in 3 months.



  • This post raises tons of new questions without answering my previous one.

    Such as, Given that moving sucks absolute balls unless you live out of a tent and backpack, what's the point of living somewhere for 3 months? What sort of manure shed costs €280? Why is your "basic living" income about as much as the amount I have left as play-cash at the end of every month? Who's paying for this? Are you a student instead of a working man as I initially assumed? Are you a jobless bum leeching off the government, or a jobless individual looking for proper emplyment?

    I am confused by these extraordinarily low numbers that you quote without batting an eye, is basically it.



  • First of all, you may be a bit confused about the height of the rent over here. While it may not be much, a one-room appartment for 280€ is not that bad.

    Secondly, as I already stated, I'm currently between the end of my studies and the beginning of my new job. Since I previously lived in a students' dormitory, the end of my time at university also meant having to move out.

    To spare you further confusion, let me point out that I'm on course to become a teacher for chemistry and physics. In Germany this means that after your time at university you spend another one and a half year as a teacher in training.
    Due to the fact that training needs specialised institutions (and the spots at those institutions are limited in number), we can suggest where we want to be placed, the deciding vote is not ours, however. This is the "I don't know where I'll end up" part I was talking about. Where I'll be placed depends on my final grade and my teaching subjects. New teachers-in-training are always hired at the end of January and the beginning of August in my state (that's when the new school semester begins).

    So, that's the reason why I'm content with a rather smallish appartment at the moment, why there's this 3 months thing going on and, yes, why I'm "leeching off the government" at the moment because it's the government which enforces this 3 months pause in the first place.



  •  Ahh, sweet clarity. Thanks. :)



  • @dhromed said:

    Ahh, sweet clarity. Thanks. :)

    Nope, not good enough for me, I need 2 forms of picture identification and a DNA sample.



  • @Rhywden said:

    My line of reasoning: I'm getting 634€ per month from the job agency plus health insurance is covered, and I don't have to do anything besides looking for a job (which is doubtful since, y'know the 3 months, which is actually only two and a half now, since towards the end I'll have to find a new appartment, have to move, get documents, fill out forms and that kind of stuff. No, I don't know yet where I'll end up. I'll know towards the end of December).

    So, that's 634€.

    Wow, what kind of totally awesome welfare state do you live in where you get paid a living wage to LOOK FOR A JOB??? Can I move there?



  • I see something equally ridiculous in my neighborhood. When I walk my dog around the neighborhood, I keep finding small sandwich bags full of stones with a business card in them. Apparently the local tree trimmers, maids, etc. think this is an effective advertising mechanism. There was one at the end of my driveway that I assumed was something that had fallen out of the trash. So I picked it up to throw away and saw what it was. I'm not sure what goes through the mind of someone that makes them think, "I know! I'll leave my card like a piece of trash on the sidewalk! That will get me business!" Now I see them everywhere, and people mostly ignore them. I don't know, maybe it works for someone, somewhere?



  • @ekolis said:

    Wow, what kind of totally awesome welfare state do you live in where you get paid a living wage to LOOK FOR A JOB??? Can I move there?

    Apparently a big part of the world does that, so maybe you should consider moving



  • @ekolis said:

    Wow, what kind of totally awesome welfare state do you live in where you get paid a living wage to LOOK FOR A JOB??? Can I move there?
     

    As he said: Germany. Social security is pretty good around here. You'll find lots of people who complain about it though, because they think the "Arbeitslosengeld 2" (usually incorrectly called "Hartz IV") of ~350EUR should be raised. I'm not quite sure about it, although I think it shouldn't be much lower.

     



  • @dcardani said:

    I see something equally ridiculous in my neighborhood. When I walk my dog around the neighborhood, I keep finding small sandwich bags full of stones with a business card in them. Apparently the local tree trimmers, maids, etc. think this is an effective advertising mechanism. There was one at the end of my driveway that I assumed was something that had fallen out of the trash. So I picked it up to throw away and saw what it was. I'm not sure what goes through the mind of someone that makes them think, "I know! I'll leave my card like a piece of trash on the sidewalk! That will get me business!" Now I see them everywhere, and people mostly ignore them. I don't know, maybe it works for someone, somewhere?
     

    Works wonders for my lawnmower repair business.



  • @dcardani said:

    I see something equally ridiculous in my neighborhood. When I walk my dog around the neighborhood, I keep finding small sandwich bags full of stones with a business card in them. Apparently the local tree trimmers, maids, etc. think this is an effective advertising mechanism. There was one at the end of my driveway that I assumed was something that had fallen out of the trash. So I picked it up to throw away and saw what it was. I'm not sure what goes through the mind of someone that makes them think, "I know! I'll leave my card like a piece of trash on the sidewalk! That will get me business!" Now I see them everywhere, and people mostly ignore them. I don't know, maybe it works for someone, somewhere?

    It must work, or else people in several parts of the country came up with the easiest way to get rid of business cards without slowing the truck down at the same time. (Unless you're in Colorado, which I guess would mean lots of Coloradans came up with the same idea.)

    I guess the business you get from people who pick up your rock-bag saying 'Wow, I need this business' outweigh the cost of ziploc bags and random rocks/gravel. It's less if you do the vistaprint "free business cards" thing.


  • Discourse touched me in a no-no place

    @ekolis said:

    Wow, what kind of totally awesome welfare state do you live in where you get
    paid a living wage to LOOK FOR A JOB??? Can I move there?
    Try the UK, where being 'unemploy{able|ed}' is now apparently a career choice for some people families - it's simply not (currently) economical for them to get a job, since in doing so the difference between what they earn if they work, minus the reduction in benefits they get as a result is so small (on the order of earn #10 in a job, lose #9.50 in benefits/tax) is so small it simply isn't worth it for them.



  • @PJH said:

    @ekolis said:
    Wow, what kind of totally awesome welfare state do you live in where you get
    paid a living wage to LOOK FOR A JOB??? Can I move there?
    Try the UK, where being 'unemploy{able|ed}' is now apparently a career choice for some people families - it's simply not (currently) economical for them to get a job, since in doing so the difference between what they earn if they work, minus the reduction in benefits they get as a result is so small (on the order of earn #10 in a job, lose #9.50 in benefits/tax) is so small it simply isn't worth it for them.

    Or, you know, the US, where unemployment benefits were stretched out for what, 2, 2.5 years now? It's not a lot of money, but people are still out of work, and something's better than nothing.



  • @tweek said:

    Or, you know, the US, where unemployment benefits were stretched out for what, 2, 2.5 years now? It's not a lot of money, but people are still out of work, and something's better than nothing.

    You know I saw a film once that had a perfect solution to this problem. Starred Charlton Heston. The streets were so crowded during foot riots that they used bulldozers to round up protesters. Ended with him shot, in a church, yelling something... hm, now what was the title of that film...



  • @blakeyrat said:

    @tweek said:
    Or, you know, the US, where unemployment benefits were stretched out for what, 2, 2.5 years now? It's not a lot of money, but people are still out of work, and something's better than nothing.

    You know I saw a film once that had a perfect solution to this problem. Starred Charlton Heston. The streets were so crowded during foot riots that they used bulldozers to round up protesters. Ended with him shot, in a church, yelling something... hm, now what was the title of that film...

    the subject of one of my 'friday shirts', I believe. [url=ttp://www.thinkgeek.com/tshirts-apparel/unisex/popculture/6e87/]this one, perhaps?[/url]

    I've never filed for unemployment, although I have been unemployed a few times due to no fault of my own. It just never occurs to me to do so.



  • @dhromed said:

    What sort of manure shed costs €280?

    I have a 3-bed flat for 600€ and I'm paying above market rates (get on well with my landlord and don't want to move, so I haven't tried negotiating hard). In most European cities - London is an exception - a recent ex-student who doesn't mind sharing won't have much difficulty renting a room in a shared flat for 200€ or less.



  • @dcardani said:

    I see something equally ridiculous in my neighborhood. When I walk my dog around the neighborhood, I keep finding small sandwich bags full of stones with a business card in them. Apparently the local tree trimmers, maids, etc. think this is an effective advertising mechanism. There was one at the end of my driveway that I assumed was something that had fallen out of the trash. So I picked it up to throw away and saw what it was. I'm not sure what goes through the mind of someone that makes them think, "I know! I'll leave my card like a piece of trash on the sidewalk! That will get me business!" Now I see them everywhere, and people mostly ignore them. I don't know, maybe it works for someone, somewhere?
     

    It might be a sample.  "Like our gravel?  Come to Smith's Building Supplies."

    This may not work as well for all businesses, for example the local mohel.



  • @tweek said:

    @blakeyrat said:
    @tweek said:
    Or, you know, the US, where unemployment benefits were stretched out for what, 2, 2.5 years now? It's not a lot of money, but people are still out of work, and something's better than nothing.

    You know I saw a film once that had a perfect solution to this problem. Starred Charlton Heston. The streets were so crowded during foot riots that they used bulldozers to round up protesters. Ended with him shot, in a church, yelling something... hm, now what was the title of that film...

    the subject of one of my 'friday shirts', I believe. this one, perhaps?

    I've never filed for unemployment, although I have been unemployed a few times due to no fault of my own. It just never occurs to me to do so.

     

    [url="http://www.smbc-comics.com/?id=2387"]SPLONCH![/url]

    * warning, will make you very, very sad that that's how it would go down...



  • @Lorne Kates said:

    <A title=http://www.smbc-comics.com/?id=2387 href="http://www.smbc-comics.com/?id=2387" target=_blank>SPLONCH!

    • warning, will make you very, very sad that that's how it would go down...

    What I thought of based on your warning was actually even more cynical and depressing than SMBC's take on it, so it actually didn't.

    Also there's no L in SPONCH.



  • @ekolis said:

    Wow, what kind of totally awesome welfare state do you live in where you get paid a living wage to LOOK FOR A JOB??? Can I move there?
     

    I got something like $450 AUD a fortnight unemployment ("dole") for a few months after I graduated university back in 2005. I eventually started a business under another government scheme, which let payments continue for 12 months while my business grew (which it did) as well as business mentoring and business training. But now I'm on salary due to me getting a mortgage, wife, kids, etc.



  • @Scarlet Manuka said:

    @Lorne Kates said:
    SPLONCH!

    • warning, will make you very, very sad that that's how it would go down...

    What I thought of based on your warning was actually even more cynical and depressing than SMBC's take on it, so it actually didn't.

    Also there's no L in SPONCH.

     

    SPLONCH is the sound of biting into a nice sponch steak.

     


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