Yes Virginia, WTFs are real



  • The Daily WTF is not fiction, people really do write stupid code. This is actual, production Java code that I now have to support.

    public static final int ZERO = 0;<BR/>
    public static final int ONE = 1;<BR/>
    public static final int TWO = 2;<BR/>
    public static final int THREE = 3;<BR/>
    public static final int FOUR = 4;<BR/>
    public static final int FIVE = 5;<BR/>
    public static final int SIX = 6;<BR/>
    public static final int SEVEN = 7;<BR/>
    public static final int EIGHT = 8;<BR/>
    public static final int NINE = 9;<BR/>
    

    Weep for me.



  • Bonus points if this was written for a post 1.5 JDK where you have enums :)



  •  Consider yourself lucky, the values are correct. I found one piece of code in our code base where Byte1 was set to 1, byte2 was set to 2 up to byte 4, no byte5 to 8,  byte9 was set to 10 and byte10 was set to 11.

    And sadly those numbers happened to be correct (in that it did what it was documented to do)



  • This is useful when you code using voice recognition software, and the software insists on inserting the written numbers instead of the numerals.



  • @warmachine said:

    The Daily WTF is not fiction, people really do write stupid code. This is actual, production Java code that I now have to support.

    public static final int ZERO = 0;<br>
    public static final int ONE = 1;<br>
    public static final int TWO = 2;<br>
    public static final int THREE = 3;<br>
    public static final int FOUR = 4;<br>
    public static final int FIVE = 5;<br>
    public static final int SIX = 6;<br>
    public static final int SEVEN = 7;<br>
    public static final int EIGHT = 8;<br>
    public static final int NINE = 9;<br>
    

    Weep for me.

    You are now duty-bound to change these values, release the code to production, and see what breaks.


  • Discourse touched me in a no-no place

    But magic numbers are bad!



  • @geocities said:

    This is useful when you code using voice recognition software, and the software insists on inserting the written numbers instead of the numerals.

    What?



  • @derula said:

    @geocities said:

    This is useful when you code using voice recognition software, and the software insists on inserting the written numbers instead of the numerals.

    What?

     

    You mean you don't program using voice recognition? It really saves your wrists from carpal tunnel syndrome and at first you feel like you're in an episode of Star Trek, and you get good practice pronouncing some phrases you never get to say in everyday speech, such as ampersand and left curly brace

    Get with the times, it's 2011! Keyboards are so old-school.

     



  •  You forgot a few:

     public static final int NEGATIVE_ZERO = ZERO - ZERO;

    public static final int I_SQUARED = ZERO - ONE;

    public static final int BIBLICAL_PI = THREE;

    public static final int FORTY_TWO = SIX * NINE;

    public static final int GENERAL_TSOS_CHICKEN = SIX * (NINE + ONE) + NINE;



  • @geocities said:

    This is useful when you code using voice recognition software, and the software insists on inserting the written numbers instead of the numerals.

    No.  It's not.



  •  TEN = Integer.Parse(ONE.ToString() & ZERO.ToString())

    I think I now have an understanding of what whiskey is for.



  • @Lorne Kates said:

     TEN = Integer.Parse(ONE.ToString() & ZERO.ToString())

    public static final int ZERO_X_TEN = TEN + SIX;


  •  public static final int JAVASCRIPT_TEN = EIGHT;



  • @ekolis said:

    public static final int NEGATIVE_ZERO = ZERO - ZERO;

    That's not right. A number minus itself is zero. It should be:

    public static final int NEGATIVE_ZERO = ZERO - ( ZERO * 2 );



  •  No, negative zero is clearly zero minus zero, because "negative X" is defined as zero minus X!

    Though I suppose if your definition and my definition were both valid, then you could factor out a zero or something, and prove that one equals two...



  • @blakeyrat said:

    @ekolis said:
    public static final int NEGATIVE_ZERO = ZERO - ZERO;
    That's not right. A number minus itself is zero. It should be:

    public static final int NEGATIVE_ZERO = ZERO - ( ZERO * 2 );

    Holy shit, a blakeyrat joke!  I'm going to get this bronzed right now!



  • How is this a WTF? When your job is outsourced, it'll be easier to refactor those numbers into a more appropriate, local language. That's simply incredible foresight.



  • @ekolis said:

     No, negative zero is clearly zero minus zero, because "negative X" is defined as zero minus X!

    Though I suppose if your definition and my definition were both valid, then you could factor out a zero or something, and prove that one equals two...

    Let's try it!

    ZERO-ZERO = negative zero

    ZERO-(2*ZERO) = negative ZERO

    ZERO-ZERO = ZERO-(2*ZERO)

    subtract a zero from both sides

    -ZERO = -2*ZERO

    divide by negative ZERO

    1 = 2

    !!!!!



  • @C-Octothorpe said:

    Holy shit, a blakeyrat joke!  I'm going to get this bronzed right now!

    I make jokes all the time. You guys just have terrible senses of humor.



  • @Sutherlands said:

    divide by negative ZERO

    There's your reason why you don't usually allow to divide by zero. If you do, it follows that 1=2 which implies that all numbers are the same. You can still use that model, but everything based on it will be inherently trivial.



  • @Power Troll said:

    How is this a WTF? When your job is outsourced, it'll be easier to refactor those numbers into a more appropriate, local language. That's simply incredible foresight.

    This may not be that far from the truth. It was written by an Indian immigrant who probably did previously work on outsourced projects.



  • @blakeyrat said:

    I make jokes all the time.

    lol?



  • @derula said:

    @Sutherlands said:
    divide by negative ZERO
    There's your reason why you don't usually allow to divide by zero. If you do, it follows that 1=2 which implies that all numbers are the same. You can still use that model, but everything based on it will be inherently trivial.

    NSIS



  • @Sutherlands said:

    @derula said:

    @Sutherlands said:
    divide by negative ZERO
    There's your reason why you don't usually allow to divide by zero. If you do, it follows that 1=2 which implies that all numbers are the same. You can still use that model, but everything based on it will be inherently trivial.

    NSIS

    Nullsoft Scriptable Install System?

    Are you sure you didn't mean 'Nullity'? 



  • @ekolis said:

    public static final int BIBLICAL_PI = THREE;

    I know what you're trying to say, but the scripture in question is not trying to define the value of PI.


  • Discourse touched me in a no-no place

    @ekolis said:

    public static final int BIBLICAL_PI = THREE;
    I know of an engineering professor who, in order to simplify doing the math by hand, instructed his class to use pi=3.All his answer keys assumed this fact.



  • @C-Octothorpe said:

    @blakeyrat said:

    @ekolis said:
    public static final int NEGATIVE_ZERO = ZERO - ZERO;
    That's not right. A number minus itself is zero. It should be:

    public static final int NEGATIVE_ZERO = ZERO - ( ZERO * 2 );

    Holy shit, a blakeyrat joke I actually get!  I'm going to get this bronzed right now!

    FTFY



  • @serguey123 said:

    @C-Octothorpe said:

    @blakeyrat said:

    @ekolis said:
    public static final int NEGATIVE_ZERO = ZERO - ZERO;
    That's not right. A number minus itself is zero. It should be:

    public static final int NEGATIVE_ZERO = ZERO - ( ZERO * 2 );

    Holy shit, a blakeyrat joke I actually read!  I'm going to get this bronzed right now!

    FTFY
    FTFM



  • @DaveK said:

    @Sutherlands said:

    @derula said:

    @Sutherlands said:
    divide by negative ZERO
    There's your reason why you don't usually allow to divide by zero. If you do, it follows that 1=2 which implies that all numbers are the same. You can still use that model, but everything based on it will be inherently trivial.

    NSIS

    Nullsoft Scriptable Install System?

    Are you sure you didn't mean 'Nullity'? 

    Not Sure If Serious.


  • @Sutherlands said:

    @DaveK said:

    @Sutherlands said:

    @derula said:

    @Sutherlands said:
    divide by negative ZERO
    There's your reason why you don't usually allow to divide by zero. If you do, it follows that 1=2 which implies that all numbers are the same. You can still use that model, but everything based on it will be inherently trivial.

    NSIS

    Nullsoft Scriptable Install System?

    Are you sure you didn't mean 'Nullity'? 

    Not Sure If Serious.
     

    He's not being serious. He's making a joke at your expense.

    And what the hell does NSIS mean?



  • @Lorne Kates said:

    @Sutherlands said:

    @DaveK said:

    @Sutherlands said:

    @derula said:

    @Sutherlands said:
    divide by negative ZERO
    There's your reason why you don't usually allow to divide by zero. If you do, it follows that 1=2 which implies that all numbers are the same. You can still use that model, but everything based on it will be inherently trivial.

    NSIS

    Nullsoft Scriptable Install System?

    Are you sure you didn't mean 'Nullity'? 

    Not Sure If Serious.
     

    He's not being serious. He's making a joke at your expense.

    And what the hell does NSIS mean?

    Yeah, seriously. Tell us already!



  • Naval Shipline Investigative Service.  It's a poor spin-off of NCIS



  • @Sutherlands said:

    Naval Shipline Investigative Service.  It's a poor spin-off of NCIS

    Ah, now it makes sense. Thanks for clarification.


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