There is definitely no free lunch...
Every month we get a couple of lunch 'vouchers' in our in-trays. These entitle us to eat free in the 'bistro' (as they like to call it... it's just a cafeteria..)
Last month I went down there for a freebie and realised I didn't bring a voucher - so I asked if I can pay without it and give to them later - after much grumbling the person serving agreed and then ticked me off a list (which has two tickboxes for each person in the company - there are only about 100 people in total). They asked me if I could bring the voucher when I'd found it and, although puzzled by why I'd need to hand it in after they'd ticked me off, I agreed.
Of course I promptly forgot about the whole affair, thinking that since I was ticked off on a list that it didn't really matter. How wrong could I be!
I get a phone call this morning "Can you bring me your lunch voucher from last month please, I need it by the end of today"
"er...I don't have it, I don't think I can find it, it's probably lost or I've thrown it away... I got ticked off on the list though"
"It doesn't matter, I need the voucher"
Now at this point, you must be thinking that there's a bar code or some special number on the voucher to identify it...there is not. The voucher is just printed on some A4 en masse with peoples names, some dodgy clip art of a brown paper bag with an apple next to it and the number 1 or 2 depending on which voucher number it is. Then these vouchers are cut out (I think with scissors as the edges look a little wobbly) and placed delicately into peoples trays in the post room.
I try to reason with the caller
"I've been ticked off...it's just a piece of paper I could print one off at any time"
"I don't care, I need the paper now or I'm going to have to charge you for last month"
I hung up at this point and promptly opened up my browser and navigated to this site. I'm going to get a copy of photoshop and the printer fired up. I might even get a dirty tea/coffee cup and put some mug-rings on it just to make it look authentic...
There is no passion like that of a functionary for his function.
Not overly suprising. The cafe probably has to remit the coupons to some other department to be reimbursed for the free lunches. Sure, they could just use the ticky boxes on the check list-- but then why bother printing out coupons? And if you don't bother printing out coupons, why bother keeping Millie in HR busy all week printing, snipping and delivering the coupons, then handling them when they come back.
@Lorne Kates said:
And if you don't bother printing out coupons, why bother keeping Millie in HR busy all week printing, snipping and delivering the coupons, then handling them when they come back.
And the male head of HR needs a vaguely plausible reason for employing Hot Millie. Assuming Millie is, indeed, hot.
Your hopes are far too high... It's 58 year old Millie who's been there longer than time itself. The overweight, embattled, bitter, childless, man-hating, thrice-devorced Millie. The same Millie who is feared by all the staff and by the CEO himself.
Nay, this Millie is *not* hot, however she *does* have a nack for creating rediculous, and often meaningless company policy (i.e. you need a "coupon" even though a company ID and a tick next to your name would do).
@Lorne Kates said:
And if you don't bother printing out coupons, why bother keeping Millie in HR busy all week printing, snipping and delivering the coupons, then handling them when they come back.A few years ago my company did support and updates for the public website of a certain ministry that will remain unnamed. Since I was the sole developer assigned to this I got to work closely with several public servants. Most of them (although not all) were your typical small-minded, minimum-wage, do-as-little-work-as-possible, timecard-punching trash. Once I was talking with my liaison (one of the good ones) about some stuff that needed to be done when the IT department boss' secretary came around and left a piece of paper on the desk. My liaison then explained that the general email address listed on their website was only readable by the secretary. She would go through the emails and when she found something that needed to be passed on to someone else she would print it, get up and go hand it to whomever. That way it'd be obvious how busy and thus invaluable she was to the department.
Later I also found out that the IT department boss had in fact two secretaries, this woman and her daughter. It's this and other similar fun facts I learned during my time there that makes me want to go out and stab public employees in the kidney with a corkscrew every time I see them go on strike.
stab pubic employees in the kidney with a corkscrewThis is how I read this.