Corporate Email signature WTF



  • The IT dept of my employer (ie the morons responsible for the crappy PCs on our desks) has many quirks.

    One of my pettest of peevests is the retarded corporate signature they add to all outgoing emails. It reads:

     " Please consider the environment before printing this email"

    In green. I mean in #00FF00

    First time I saw this, I thought, who's moron enough to print his emails in this days and age? Only someone technologically inept enough to print his own emails would think it a neat idea to remind others not to do it. You know, just like anti-drug anti-gay are called Ted Haggart.



  • @nixar said:

    In green. I mean in #00FF00
    Most people call that lime.
    @nixar said:
    First time I saw this, I thought, who's moron enough to print his emails in this days and age?
    But what else would printers be used for?
    @nixar said:
    One of my pettest of peevests is the retarded corporate signature they add to all outgoing emails.
    I'm slightly curious to know if GPG/PGP messages will get corrupted by that or not.



  •  @Lingerance said:

    @nixar said:
    In green. I mean in #00FF00
    Most people call that lime.

     You can be pretty certain in their sick, rotten, perverted mine it's very Green™ indeed. Fun fact: they can't be fucked to put compact fluorescent light bulbs to replace broken ones, because "they don't have a budget," even though it would save them money.

     



  • @nixar said:

    You can be pretty certain in their sick, rotten, perverted mind it's very Green™ indeed. Fun fact: they can't be fucked to put compact fluorescent light bulbs to replace broken ones, because "they don't have a budget," even though it would save them money.
    <chaneling src="PHB">Ah but it won't. You see if they stop buying the energy inefficient ones then the PHBs second cousing thrice removed will be out of customers and so he'll be forced to dump all his remaining stock when he goes bankrupt. By buying from his relative at a very steep "discount" (read: surcharge) he (and thus the company) are actually benefiting the environment. You just don't see the entire picture, you have to look at the really shaddy parts of it too.</chanelling>



  • Lol, they did the same here. Someone managed to print an email with just that line on the 2nd page the same day.



    I put it up on our wall of shame :)



  • @nixar said:

    One of my pettest of peevests is the retarded corporate signature they add to all outgoing emails. It reads:

     " Please consider the environment before printing this email"

    In green. I mean in #00FF00

     

     

    Yeah, we have a lot of people using that one at work too. Perhaps I should mod it to say

    "Please consider my eyes before using #00FF00".



  • @nixar said:

    Only someone technologically inept enough to print his own emails would think it a neat idea to remind others not to do it.
    The higher in the hierarchy somebody is, the more likely he (or his secretary) will print each and every e-mail. Don't ask me why.



  • @ender said:

    The higher in the hierarchy somebody is, the more likely he (or his secretary) will print each and every e-mail. Don't ask me why.
     

    this is so true...


  • Discourse touched me in a no-no place

    @nixar said:

    One of my pettest of peevests is the retarded corporate signature they add to all outgoing emails.
    I took to adding the universal disclaimer on all internal mails when the IT dept at my last job did this.



  • If you have the webdings font, you can see this thing that gets sent around my office with a lot of manager-or-higher e-mails:

    P Please consider your environmental responsibility before printing this e-mail.

    If you're missing webdings, the capital P at the beginning appears to be a river through a field with a tree in the distance. I had the exact same reaction to this when I first saw it as nixar did.



  • Makes me wonder how hard would it actually be to include a @media print in the CSS to make the message invisible.



  • @nixar said:

    First time I saw this, I thought, who's moron enough to print his emails in this days and age? Only someone technologically inept enough to print his own emails would think it a neat idea to remind others not to do it. You know, just like anti-drug anti-gay are called Ted Haggart.

    Oh my, you guys keep understimating the habilities of human kind to repeatedly and consistently do stupid things. In any case people print emails for more reasons other than ineptitude or stupidity.

    A few reason/excuses I've seen around:

    1. Improve "readibility".
    2. Keep track on print of something (Yes, this is kind of stupid, but I've seen a tech savy but highly paranoid dude who worked here do that.).
    3. Get a request approved by client or superior by signing. (Nope, digital signatures are not good enough. Sign that shit and wet stamp it)
    4. Going to a meeting and passing the email around so everyone is on the same page. (ha! see what I did there?)
    5. Evidence for the divorce. (Your spouse also has to print the Facebook pages with the pics of yourself with the midget twins).

    In any case if you have to print your emails and still want to save the planet and the pandas, you can use this:

     

    P.S. I forgot to add, that that doing this on the email signature makes your company look more "Ecological" an PC.

    We recently had a campaing on ecofriendliness that included making 500 plastic keychains, and printing dozens of huge posters on bright non-recycled paper.



  • @fatdog said:

    Oh my, you guys keep understimating the habilities of human kind to repeatedly and consistently do stupid things. In any case people print emails for more reasons other than ineptitude or stupidity.
     

     It might surprise you to learn that all of us are aware that there are valid reasons for printing an email.You forgot one:

     0. To pin to the wall an instance of utter stupidity



  • @Welbog said:

    If you have the webdings font, you can see this thing that gets sent around my office with a lot of manager-or-higher e-mails:

    P Please consider your environmental responsibility before printing this e-mail.

    If you're missing webdings, the capital P at the beginning appears to be a river through a field with a tree in the distance. I had the exact same reaction to this when I first saw it as nixar did.

    One of our frequent clients uses the same stupid character:

    P Support [COMPANY DELETED]'s commitment to the environment: please do not print this email unless necessary.



  • @bstorer said:

    @Welbog said:

    If you have the webdings font, you can see this thing that gets sent around my office with a lot of manager-or-higher e-mails:

    P Please consider your environmental responsibility before printing this e-mail.

    If you're missing webdings, the capital P at the beginning appears to be a river through a field with a tree in the distance. I had the exact same reaction to this when I first saw it as nixar did.

    One of our frequent clients uses the same stupid character:

    P Support [COMPANY DELETED]'s commitment to the environment: please do not print this email unless necessary.

    Unfortunately, I don't have webdings so I get a giant "P".  If I ever saw this, I would print out every email just to be an asshole.  It's as retarded as the people who have the signature with "the contents of this email are confidential and if you aren't the recipient you shouldn't even be reading this and if you do I will totally call the police on you!"



  • @morbiuswilters said:

    Unfortunately, I don't have webdings so I get a giant "P".
    I get a giant "P" in Firefox and Opera, but it works in IE.  I blame Eric S. Raymond.



  • @bstorer said:

    @morbiuswilters said:

    Unfortunately, I don't have webdings so I get a giant "P".
    I get a giant "P" in Firefox and Opera, but it works in IE.  I blame Eric S. Raymond.

    Wasn't Canada the one to blame? And I get a nice winding in firefox on linux...



  • @Daid said:

    @bstorer said:

    @morbiuswilters said:

    Unfortunately, I don't have webdings so I get a giant "P".
    I get a giant "P" in Firefox and Opera, but it works in IE.  I blame Eric S. Raymond.

    Wasn't Canada the one to blame? And I get a nice winding in firefox on linux...
    Nice winding in firefox, seamonkey and konqueror. I blame bstorer.



  • @fatdog said:

    1. Improve "readibility".
     

     I, for one, find reading of paper a lot easier than reading on the screen. That said, it only counts for me if something is about 2 pages or more, I wouldn't print out most corporate mails because a lot of them just consist of "can you do A for me", "Dont forget B" or "this and that is (not) okay"

    @fatdog said:

    Keep track on print of something (Yes, this is kind of stupid, but I've seen a tech savy but highly paranoid dude who worked here do that.).

    Depending on how important something is, I don't find that stupid at all. For example: I keep a paper trail on my taxes, insurance, contracts and that sort of things. Also organising something on paper can, sometimes, be better than doing it digital. A folder in an email-account isn't as clear to me as a real folder, and it can be hard to find just that mail where that and that was written. (either because of a missing good find feature or because of conversation view a la gmail)

    @fatdog said:

    Get a request approved by client or superior by
    signing. (Nope, digital signatures are not good enough. Sign that shit
    and wet stamp it)

    Partly bureaucracy, partly insurance. A real signature (even when scanned) is much more convincing than, to name something, a PGP signature.

     @fatdog said:

    Going to a meeting and passing the email around so everyone is on the same page. (ha! see what I did there?)

    Just like agenda's that can either be very efficient and usefull or totally wastefull (also depending on the content of the mail)

     

     



  • @Daid said:

    @bstorer said:

    @morbiuswilters said:

    Unfortunately, I don't have webdings so I get a giant "P".
    I get a giant "P" in Firefox and Opera, but it works in IE.  I blame Eric S. Raymond.

    Wasn't Canada the one to blame?
    Yes, but Canada is all Eric S. Raymond's fault.  I'll leave the application of the transitive property as an exercise for the reader.

    @Daid said:

    And I get a nice winding in firefox on linux...
    I call bullshit: nothing works on Linux.  I blame Eric S. Raymond for that, too.



  • Talk about a viral signature.  My company uses it as well.

     I imagine that we could do a lot more for the environment if middle managers would actually support the company policy of allowing employees to work from home if possible.  That would be more effective than pleading for people to not print emails.



  • @bstorer said:

    I call bullshit: nothing works on Linux.[Citation needed.]

    FTFY.



  • I added my own signature on top:

    This message was hand-crafted with 100% recycled electrons and environmentally friendly green pixels. Before printing an email, please consider how many trees have been wasted by needless disclaimers.



  • @derula said:

    @bstorer said:
    I call bullshit: nothing works on Linux.[1]

    FTFY.
    FTFY



  • @morbiuswilters said:

    , I don't have webdings so I get a giant "P".  If I ever saw this, I would print out every email just to be an asshole.  It's as retarded as the people who have the signature with "the contents of this email are confidential and if you aren't the recipient you shouldn't even be reading this and if you do I will totally call the police on you!"

    That line is companypolicy here since we deal with PHI.  also all emails are automatically encrypted unless we specifically mark them not be.  So it does have a place with certain companies.



  • @dtech said:

     I, for one, find reading of paper a lot easier than reading on the screen. That said, it only counts for me if something is about 2 pages or more, I wouldn't print out most corporate mails because a lot of them just consist of "can you do A for me", "Dont forget B" or "this and that is (not) okay"

    Me too. But if an email is longer than 2 pages (or 2 parragraph) I don't print it. I just simply don't read it. I dismis it and hope nothing important was in there.

    @dtech said:

    Depending on how important something is, I don't find that stupid at all. For example: I keep a paper trail on my taxes, insurance, contracts and that sort of things. Also organising something on paper can, sometimes, be better than doing it digital. A folder in an email-account isn't as clear to me as a real folder, and it can be hard to find just that mail where that and that was written. (either because of a missing good find feature or because of conversation view a la gmail)

    I keep paper trails on lot of things, but I usually just print them as PDF files and store them digitally. If I need them phisically, I'll print them. And yes, sensitive stuff I have redundant backups, even though I don't think gmail is going to lose my emails anytime soon. In my current job I have only printed twice in almost 2 years. At home I haven't bought ink for my printer in probably 6 months.

    I hate printing more than and I hate comunism and olives.


  • Discourse touched me in a no-no place

    @dtech said:

    I wouldn't print out most corporate mails because a lot of them just consist of "can you do A for me", "Dont forget B" or "this and that is (not) okay"
    Or you've been CC'd on it because you're in the group address the mail was sent to, and the email itself has no relevance to you, personally, whatsoever.



    No, I don't get a lot of that sort of email, why do you ask?



  • @fatdog said:

    Me too. But if an email is longer than 2 pages (or 2 parragraph) I don't print it. I just simply don't read it. I dismis it and hope nothing important was in there.

    This is my strategy, too.

     

    @fatdog said:

    I keep paper trails on lot of things, but I usually just print them as PDF files and store them digitally. If I need them phisically, I'll print them. And yes, sensitive stuff I have redundant backups, even though I don't think gmail is going to lose my emails anytime soon. In my current job I have only printed twice in almost 2 years. At home I haven't bought ink for my printer in probably 6 months.

    Paper trails are a good way to get caught.  I keep no records of anything.  Therefore, I can never be caught.

     

    @fatdog said:

    I hate printing more than and I hate comunism and olives.

    But you love Communism!  And olives!



  • @fatdog said:

     

    I hate printing more than and I hate comunism and olives.

    I heard you smell of communism and olives.


  • @operagost said:

    Talk about a viral signature.  My company uses it as well.
    I've seen it somewhere too, so someone has decided to translate it to Portuguese.

    I have wingdings, so I don't see the P. What does it look like?</stupid joke>



  • @galgorah said:

    That line is companypolicy here since we deal with PHI.  also all emails are automatically encrypted unless we specifically mark them not be.  So it does have a place with certain companies.

    Except, I don't see how that's legally enforceable.   If someone commits a crime (like haxing) in the process of getting your email, okay.  But if you print out your emails and leave them in a public place, I can't be charged with a crime just for reading them.  It's a joke.



  • @morbiuswilters said:

    I can't be charged with a crime just for reading them
    Reading is a serious crime, right up there with independent though.  If the government wants you to do or think something, they will provide you with the necessary pictographs.



  • @morbiuswilters said:

    Except, I don't see how that's legally enforceable.   If someone commits a crime (like haxing) in the process of getting your email, okay.  But if you print out your emails and leave them in a public place, I can't be charged with a crime just for reading them.  It's a joke.

    true but at least then the company can use it as leverage in a we took precautions argument.  Especially since HIPPA violations are excessively bad for a company.



  • @bstorer said:

    @morbiuswilters said:

    I can't be charged with a crime just for reading them
    Reading is a serious crime, right up there with independent though


    Don't worry, Morbs will only ever be done for one of those crimes



  • For those of us who still dont have Webdings...


    I see this bullship all the time unfortunately. Especially in the horrible thing known as blackboard (as well as this: <!--[if !SupportLists]-->o<!--[endif]-->



  • Now, if one really cared about the environment, they'd install several recycle bins and empty them frequently. But that takes money and effort. :(



    I see the same bullshit at the local mall. All these (paper) signs going on about "look how eco-friendly we are!" They added a single recycle bin, bringing them up to a total of one.



  • I print out those emails purely out of spite.

    I have a manager who was upset at us for printing about 15 pages for a meeting we were having. This same manager flew cross-country 6 times in one week.

    She has the audacity to use more carbon in one week than I do in 2 YEARS of commuting, then nags us for printing 15 pages of tree-farmed paper? Fucking environmentalist hypocrites.



  • @galgorah said:

    true but at least then the company can use it as leverage in a we took precautions argument.  Especially since HIPPA violations are excessively bad for a company.
     

    No, they really can't.  One can't enter into a legally-binding contract merely by reading something.  Even signed non-disclosure agreements are generally considered void if the information was somehow made public through other means.

    Every time I see that signature, I know I'm dealing with incompetence, at least indirectly.



  • @nixar said:

     " Please consider the environment before printing this email"

    In green. I mean in #00FF00

     

    One of my clients at least use #669900 so it's not so bright. They do use a "recycle" icon (as a gif) - 3 images in their signatures...


  • Discourse touched me in a no-no place

    @morbiuswilters said:

    It's as retarded as the people who have the signature with "the contents of this email are confidential and if you aren't the recipient you shouldn't even be reading this and if you do I will totally call the police on you!"
     

     

    My personal favorite is the military classification level Unclassified/For Official Use Only (U/FOUO)

    Which roughly means "Anyone can read this/Don't distribute it outside the attached distribution list" and in practice translates to "We'll send you a nice letter asking you to please take it down if you post it on the Internet, because this is totally unenforcable. But we'd totally classify this if we could be arsed to get just about everyone a security clearance."



  • @ender said:

    The higher in the hierarchy somebody is, the more likely he (or his secretary) will print each and every e-mail. Don't ask me why.
    Many top executives do not send or recieve email.  It's all handled by
    their secretary.  Why?  Because typing on a keyboard is viewed as a
    menial clerical job that is beneath them.  Seriously.



  •  I found another WTF two links away! :  http://www.masterlock.com/general/Legal.html

    <font face="Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif" size="2">Unless otherwise noted, product names, designs, logos, titles, text,
    ../images
    , audio and video within this Site are the trademarks, service
    marks, trade names, copyrights or other property of Master Lock Company
    ("Master Lock Company's Intellectual Property").</font>

      Yes, ../images with respect to the above URL does link to a listable directory of image files.  There are plenty of other listable directories too.

    Another fun link:  http://www.masterlock.com/general/Y2k.html



  • @joeyadams said:

     Yes, ../images with respect to the above URL does link to a listable directory of image files.  There are plenty of other listable directories too

    Full of the two most vile image formats known to mankind. Why do people insist on obsessively saving things as *.jpg without knowing the implications of it? There's also a bit of HTML in there. Seems like someone decided to drop unfinished pages in /images.

    I'm wondering what this one is for:

    Yes, they appear to have saved a screenshot of some other image with the tooltip showing.



  • @scgtrp said:

    Full of the two most vile image formats known to mankind. Why do people insist on obsessively saving things as *.jpg without knowing the implications of it? ....

    Yez, jpg is teh Evil. Kill jpg, and GIF too. Gif is like Satan or Bush or Windows!!! Pure vileness and evilnesses.



  • @scgtrp said:

    Why do people insist on obsessively saving things as *.jpg without knowing the implications of it?

    You answered your own question.

    Now what are you objections to jpeg files aside from them being vile?



  • @fatdog said:

    @scgtrp said:

    Full of the two most vile image formats known to mankind. Why do people insist on obsessively saving things as *.jpg without knowing the implications of it? ....

    Yez, jpg is teh Evil. Kill jpg, and GIF too. Gif is like Satan or Bush or Windows!!! Pure vileness and evilnesses.

    A JPEG killed my parents while a GIF watched and laughed.  That's what drove me to a life of vigilantism in the first place.


  • @bstorer said:

    A JPEG killed my parents while a GIF watched and laughed.  That's what drove me to a life of vigilantism in the first place.

    Goddammit, last you week you said an OGG killed your parents while the Joker watched and laughed.  And the week before that it was Ra's al Ghul and an SVG!



  • @morbiuswilters said:

    @bstorer said:

    A JPEG killed my parents while a GIF watched and laughed.  That's what drove me to a life of vigilantism in the first place.

    Goddammit, last you week you said an OGG killed your parents while the Joker watched and laughed.  And the week before that it was Ra's al Ghul and an SVG!

    Those are true, too, but on alternate universe versions of Earth.  This will all be cleaned up in the next Crisis event, along with the reader-requested death of MNG Lad.



  • @bstorer said:

    @morbiuswilters said:

    @bstorer said:

    A JPEG killed my parents while a GIF watched and laughed.  That's what drove me to a life of vigilantism in the first place.

    Goddammit, last you week you said an OGG killed your parents while the Joker watched and laughed.  And the week before that it was Ra's al Ghul and an SVG!

    Those are true, too, but on alternate universe versions of Earth.  This will all be cleaned up in the next Crisis event, along with the reader-requested death of MNG Lad.

    I'm just hoping the CUEP gets its shit together and kicks some JPEG ass.



  • @Aaron said:

    @galgorah said:

    true but at least then the company can use it as leverage in a we took precautions argument.  Especially since HIPPA violations are excessively bad for a company.
     

    No, they really can't.  One can't enter into a legally-binding contract merely by reading something.  Even signed non-disclosure agreements are generally considered void if the information was somehow made public through other means.

    Every time I see that signature, I know I'm dealing with incompetence, at least indirectly.

    granted its not legally worth anything but the hope is that they can use it as an example of steps they took, as I previously stated.  After a breach and thorough investigation  of a hippa violation this may help with garnering sympathy.  in other words its a better to be safe than sorry measure.

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