Ways to troll speedrunners
-
- Have a choice between killing and saving some animals, where saving them is significantly faster.
- Make an optional objective named "Runner's Choice".
- Put a space between "speed" and "run" in the ingame leaderboards.
- Fill the inside of every wall and floor in every map in the game with kill triggers.
- Require a button press to complete the game after a long unskippable credits sequence.
-
- At the end of the level / game, a funeral service is held for any innocent bystanders you may have killed. Each one gets their own, unskippable eulogy.
- If you skip a level or area, you have to go and do it again at the end, and your speed is reduced to three quarters.
- Have lots of ways to get out of the normal map, but none to get back in. Or only let them back in at the beginning of the level.
- Have an energy bar that depletes quadratically with speed.
-
@scarlet_manuka said in Ways to troll speedrunners:
- At the end of the level / game, a funeral service is held for any innocent bystanders you may have killed. Each one gets their own, unskippable eulogy.
- Assume any enemy that was not non-lethally stopped to have been murdered when computing experience points. (This is something Mass Effect does.)
-
@scarlet_manuka said in Ways to troll speedrunners:
Have lots of ways to get out of the normal map, but none to get back in. Or only let them back in at the beginning of the level.
Even better: Do this randomly.
-
Add a button or key combination to instantly complete all objectives and win the game on the very first frame.
Speedruns = nullified.
-
@anonymous234 Nah, they'd just make a new category "Any% no win button"
-
Release 5 versions of the game, all with slightly modified physics engines, and no way to tell which one you have.
-
Make an RTS game:
- resources take time to gather
- buildings and units take time to build
-
@ben_lubar said in Ways to troll speedrunners:
- Make an optional objective named "Runner's Choice".
At first I interpreted it as GDQ making a fundraising challenge for goal will all the "runner's choice" donation go to instead of the runner's choice.
@ben_lubar said in Ways to troll speedrunners:
Require a button press to complete the game after a long unskippable credits sequence.
It's likely the community rules won't count the credits and after-credits interactions towards run time.
@anonymous234 said in Ways to troll speedrunners:
Release 5 versions of the game, all with slightly modified physics engines, and no way to tell which one you have.
If you know the differences (and speedrunners WILL know the differences), it's easy to tell what version you're running.
-
@gąska said in Ways to troll speedrunners:
If you know the differences (and speedrunners WILL know the differences), it's easy to tell what version you're running.
So randomly switch between them while the level is running.
Or make health exponentially decrease if you go outside the official bounds of the map.
-
Exponentially decay the tick rate as the game progresses so that it is impossible for anyone to complete the game
-
@scarlet_manuka said in Ways to troll speedrunners:
- At the end of the level / game, a funeral service is held for any innocent bystanders you may have killed. Each one gets their own, unskippable eulogy.
Relevant:
Responsible Gaming: Epic Games’ Latest ‘Fortnite’ Update Includes Memorial-Service Cutscenes After Every Kill So Players Can Learn To Value Human Life
Fortnite has quickly become one of the most successful games of the past year, but Epic Games’ latest move proves that the company is also…
-
@the_quiet_one relevant:
-
@gąska said in Ways to troll speedrunners:
@the_quiet_one relevant:
That one always reminds me of the loading screen captions towards the end of Spec Ops: The Line
How many people have you murdered?
Do you feel like a big man yet?
-
Have an alternative movement, like rolling, that's slightly faster than walking but increases the scale of the level just enough to cancel it out
-
Detect if the gameplay is being recorded, and if so, replace the player's avatar with a giant animated cartoon penis.
-
Make the final boss unkillable for the first 12h of playing time.
-
@jaloopa Or just have an alternative movement (like rolling) that IS slightly faster, but is a pain in the ass to do continuously.
Filed under: HYAAAY
-
@anonymous234 said in Ways to troll speedrunners:
@jaloopa Or just have an alternative movement (like rolling) that IS slightly faster, but is a pain in the ass to do continuously.
You underestimate dedication of speedrunners. They're already running the entire Half-Life 2 backwards!
-
Have a score counter that if high enough, all battles are in slow motion - and only reset the counter on death.
-
@gąska said in Ways to troll speedrunners:
@the_quiet_one relevant:
-
@anonymous234 said in Ways to troll speedrunners:
Add a button or key combination to instantly complete all objectives and win the game on the very first frame.
Speedruns = nullified.
There's a speedrun category for Celeste called True Pure Any% where you basically do this.
-
@gąska said in Ways to troll speedrunners:
It's likely the community rules won't count the credits and after-credits interactions towards run time.
That's not how TAS timing works, at least. There's no special case for any game. It's always time from power on to time of last input.
-
@mott555 said in Ways to troll speedrunners:
Detect if the gameplay is being recorded, and if so, replace the player's avatar with a giant animated cartoon penis.
There's actually some additional dialogue in Undertale Genocide Route that only happens if you have streaming software running.
-
@gąska said in Ways to troll speedrunners:
Have a score counter that if high enough, all battles are in slow motion - and only reset the counter on death.
There are a LOT of games where death is a thing speedrunners do on purpose.
-
@gąska said in Ways to troll speedrunners:
@anonymous234 said in Ways to troll speedrunners:
@jaloopa Or just have an alternative movement (like rolling) that IS slightly faster, but is a pain in the ass to do continuously.
You underestimate dedication of speedrunners. They're already running the entire Half-Life 2 backwards!
The opposite of this topic would be things like "fix the bunny hopping glitch by adding an even sillier speed boost glitch that goes even faster"
-
@ben_lubar said in Ways to troll speedrunners:
@gąska said in Ways to troll speedrunners:
Have a score counter that if high enough, all battles are in slow motion - and only reset the counter on death.
There are a LOT of games where death is a thing speedrunners do on purpose.
Usually to teleport to save point. But if you have to die periodically to avoid losing precious frames, it's an entirely different thing. Especially if the score is invisible.
-
@ben_lubar said in Ways to troll speedrunners:
Have a choice between killing and saving some animals, where saving them is significantly faster.
Make an optional objective named "Runner's Choice".Unless those differences were so utterly boring as to not be worth it, wouldn't that just make more running categories in the game?
Fill the inside of every wall and floor in every map in the game with kill triggers.
Or just write code that doesn't have wall/floor clipping bugs.
Require a button press to complete the game after a long unskippable credits sequence.
I was under the impression that the run is considered complete as soon as the credits begin. But putting credits in the middle of the actual game would just make them like a cutscene, and it'd annoy far more normal players than it would speedrunners if you made the sequence unskippable.
@ben_lubar said in Ways to troll speedrunners:
@scarlet_manuka said in Ways to troll speedrunners:
- At the end of the level / game, a funeral service is held for any innocent bystanders you may have killed. Each one gets their own, unskippable eulogy.
- Assume any enemy that was not non-lethally stopped to have been murdered when computing experience points. (This is something Mass Effect does.)
Enemies aren't innocent bystanders.
@ben_lubar said in Ways to troll speedrunners:
That's not how TAS timing works, at least. There's no special case for any game. It's always time from power on to time of last input.
But the game's already considered over when the credits roll. You don't have to push the last button at all.
-
@ben_lubar said in Ways to troll speedrunners:
@gąska said in Ways to troll speedrunners:
It's likely the community rules won't count the credits and after-credits interactions towards run time.
That's not how TAS timing works, at least. There's no special case for any game. It's always time from power on to time of last input.
Usually it's the last input before the final boss is down. Going through epilogue pages etc. is not timed in any game I'm aware of.
-
@gąska said in Ways to troll speedrunners:
@ben_lubar said in Ways to troll speedrunners:
@gąska said in Ways to troll speedrunners:
It's likely the community rules won't count the credits and after-credits interactions towards run time.
That's not how TAS timing works, at least. There's no special case for any game. It's always time from power on to time of last input.
Usually it's the last input before the final boss is down. Going through epilogue pages etc. is not timed in any game I'm aware of.
Maybe there's a long unskippable pre-credits cutscene, then?
-
@gąska said in Ways to troll speedrunners:
Usually it's the last input before the final boss is down
Long cutscene before the boss attains its final form, which is a pink fluffy bunny that goes down in one hit
-
With fake rabbits or whatever on a rail around the track.
Duh.
-
@ben_lubar said in Ways to troll speedrunners:
@gąska said in Ways to troll speedrunners:
@ben_lubar said in Ways to troll speedrunners:
@gąska said in Ways to troll speedrunners:
It's likely the community rules won't count the credits and after-credits interactions towards run time.
That's not how TAS timing works, at least. There's no special case for any game. It's always time from power on to time of last input.
Usually it's the last input before the final boss is down. Going through epilogue pages etc. is not timed in any game I'm aware of.
Maybe there's a long unskippable pre-credits cutscene, then?
Half-Life 1 has a long unskippable interactive pre-credits cutscene after final boss that ends with player choosing the ending, and yet speedruns are timed by final boss's death.
-
@gąska ... How do I not remember that?
... How do I not even remember what the final boss if HL1 even was?
-
@weng said in Ways to troll speedrunners:
@gąska ... How do I not remember that?
... How do I not even remember what the final boss if HL1 even was?
I believe it was a giant baby
-
@ben_lubar uhhhhhhhhhhhhhh
-
@ben_lubar said in Ways to troll speedrunners:
I believe it was a giant baby
That was Mass Effect 2. (Sort of.)
-
@masonwheeler what's the current consensus on time after release after which it's okay to spoil endings?
-
@gąska No idea, but that game came out 8 years ago, and that's by no means the most spoilerific thing that happened in the ending, so...
-
@masonwheeler It's not about your post as much as potential replies other people might post. For the record, I only finished ME trilogy last year - and one of my friends started it but hasn't finished yet. I'm sure he's not the only one.
-
@gąska said in Ways to troll speedrunners:
@masonwheeler what's the current consensus on time after release after which it's okay to spoil endings?
Warning: Spoiler!
-
@ben_lubar said in Ways to troll speedrunners:
@gąska said in Ways to troll speedrunners:
It's likely the community rules won't count the credits and after-credits interactions towards run time.
That's not how TAS timing works, at least. There's no special case for any game. It's always time from power on to time of last input.
That's true for TAS, but not speedruns in general. For example,
Time begins on "YES" during name selection and ends as soon as you touch the door after the Photoshop Flowey battle.
-
@boomzilla I hope Blakey doesn't see this topic because he might make the same joke but with something that has an actual plot, like Halo.
-
@gąska said in Ways to troll speedrunners:
@boomzilla I hope Blakey doesn't see this topic because he might make the same joke but with something that has an actual plot, like Halo.
Halo has a plot? I thought it was just an excuse to shoot aliens (which you can't do on Windows because it will reset on you).
-
@gąska said in Ways to troll speedrunners:
@boomzilla I hope Blakey doesn't see this topic because he might make the same joke but with something that has an actual plot, like Halo.
-
@boomzilla Bard's tale (not the remake) was a good game.
-
@anonymous234 said in Ways to troll speedrunners:
Release 5 versions of the game, all with slightly modified physics engines, and no way to tell which one you have.
Better yet: determine some fundamentals of the physics randomly when the game or level starts.
-
Randomness.
For example you have door A and B and a long path and a short path. Which path is behind which door is determined randomly once you enter it, and you can't come back to take the other door.Use a non-standard source of entropy, which is hard to spoof:
- time it takes to read a file (depends on the disk, the state of the caches etc)
- interaction between multiple threads (depends on the mood of the OS's scheduler)
- time of reading memory (depends on the CPU cache state)
-
@adynathos Pretty much anything that's pure RNG is already a troll for speedruns. In Wind Waker HD (at least a few years ago) there was an item that was critical for the speedrun, which you obtained by going to an auction. The item up for bids was randomized, and if you got the wrong one it meant you had to sit through some dialogue and cutscenes before you could try again.
-
In case nobody knew this,
<spoiler> The gatekeeper from Hell is actually John Carmack's head on a stick. </spoiler>
