Tinder is shit


  • Grade A Premium Asshole

    Tinder is such an amazingly shitty piece of software I'm almost speechless. It's particularly interesting because... well it's big, isn't it? Everyone under the age of like 30 knows what it is, it's so much a part of popular culture, there's actually a good amount of people from Blekistan on it, and I'm not even anywhere near the capital where all the cool and hip globetrotting people who speak English live. For comparison, OKCupid as well as pretty much any local dating site are barren wastelands that God forsake, with literally 10 or fewer people roughly my age active in the last month within 50km of me.

    (On one of them I keep getting messages from dudes. "Where do you work out?" Mother fucker, if I ever walked into a gym, they'd have to call a priest of Brodin to reconsecrate the place. I also got a message from one chick with an obvious skinhead fetish and one ~40yo Nazi who must have fallen out of a 1930s "Slavs are Untermensch" propaganda poster. #justbaldthings)

    Aaaaanyway, back to shitting on Tinder. This app is so unbelievably bad, it's like some kid coded it as his first mobile project after only reading the table of contents of App Development For Dummies. It does absolutely nothing right. It's staggering for something this popular. Yes, I know being garbage and being used a lot isn't mutually exclusive, shush.

    It consistently fails to send notifications, I open the app after not thinking about it for a week and suddenly see I have new matches. YOU HAD ONE JOB, YOU USELESS PIECE OF SHIT. Do I need to pay them for that now or something? I did get a notification about a match like once or twice in the past, but nothing in ages. If they did actually turn that into a premium-only feature they did a really bad job at communicating this...

    The "membership" is also really steeply priced, and by the way, it blows my mind that they offer discounts if you pay for more than one month. What kind of train of thought goes through someone's head when they pay for 12 months of premium Tinder? "I wanna find matches better and meet that special someone, but realistically, I'm gonna need at least a year to find someone worthwhile, so I might as well save half"? That might be realistic but it's so totally sad and defeatist, I'm pretty sure it's a self-fulfilling prophecy because I don't think anyone finds that attractive. Seriously, who thinks like that? Also, who spends 5 to 10 dollars a month on this shit?!

    You can't even log into the fucking thing without a Facebook client installed on your phone. Of course, I don't want any dating profile to be in any way associated with my actual facebook profile, even if I just use FB for chat and the occasional event organization - so I have a second one that's completely blank just to get around this. Good thing I don't care about FB Messenger on mobile, because having to switch back and forth between multiple profiles... ugh.

    For the longest time it was almost impossible to scroll between multiple photos on the same profile profile and to get to the profile details on the 1st try because somehow, they managed to fuck up swiping on an app that's literally built around the swiping motion. If you ask anyone if they know what Tinder is, they'll probably answer "that's the app where you swipe left or right on people, isn't it?". They fixed that some time ago by changing the UI so you tap on the sides/bottom to move between photos/see details. It works alright now, except when it doesn't, which I'm about to get into.

    Yesterday this piece of shit got an update, which also reminded me it existed in the first place, so I opened it again. First thing I saw was some dude's profile. Good job, Tinder. (Ok, maybe it wasn't the app's fault and some genius just fucked up his profile settings, even though sex is the almost only thing you can actually set there... anyway, no thanks.)

    The next profile was a woman (yay!), so I tap on the bottom to see the bio, and the app crashes. NICE UPDATE YOU FUCKING SOFTWARE DEVELOPMENT MAGICIANS. Let's try one more time! I open the app, see another woman (the original one is presumably lost in time forever, THAT COULD HAVE BEEN MY SOULMATE, THANKS A LOT YOU USELESS DICKS). Try to get into profile details again, the piece of shit crashes again.

    Then I opened it for one last time time and now it just says there isn't anyone near me. Maybe my city just got nuked and the house I live in just has so much lead paint on the walls it's like a nuclear bunker... OOOOOOR MAYBE THIS APP IS JUST A COMLPETE TRAINWRECK. God damn.

    Another problem is that when you actually match with someone and try to have a conversation, you'll quickly discover that you need to find literally any other way to talk, because the incredibly primitive messaging "system" is, you guessed it, also absolute fucking garbage. If you get a message, a lot of the time you don't see a notification (do I have to pay for that, too?!). Sometimes you do. When you do and you tap that notification to open the app, it takes forever as usual, then the message window finally loads, and sometime later that week the actual new message you got finally loads as well. I'm not talking about messages with several megabyte GIF here, just short plaintext messages, which Tinder already has, because it (maybe) showed me a notification which included at least a part of said message, so it's already in there somewhere, it just takes ages to actually appear in the message window. undefined

    I'm not even going to go into how I hate the entire way this app works - I know it was meant for hookups and I'm using it wrong (I'm not the only one, but it's really the only decently active service like that around these parts). And it's Garage material anyway. Problem is, the way this app actually works, which is barely, is a huge clusterfuck.

    inb4 "you should get grindr instead"



  • @blek said in Tinder is shit:

    Tinder? "I wanna find matches better and meet that special someone,

    I thought the whole point of Tinder was casual hook ups.undefined


  • Grade A Premium Asshole

    @boomzilla God dammit, there was another paragraph there that would make that make sense, but I got rid of it because it was Garage material and I wanted to focus on why the app itself is garbage, not why it pisses me off. Yes, buying 6 or 12 months at a time makes sense if you treat it like a steady source of ass. You can use the money you save on premium to buy your gonorrhea meds, it's actually really smart.




  • Grade A Premium Asshole

    Oh by the way, another incredibly bad thing about this is that unless you buy the premium thing, any profiles you see (and that see you) are based on your current proximity - the thing requires location access. You can't normally set your location to a specific city and browse profiles that also have their location set there, you get whoever is near your current position, so if you want to use this while short-term traveling, you're shit outta luck.

    I keep seeing profiles that say they live in another country a lot, presumably because these people are traveling through somewhere nearby. It's very helpful.


  • Grade A Premium Asshole

    @magus The red pill thread is undefined

    (But yes, if I see one more fucking instagram dog face filter I'm going to just delete this and get Grindr.)



  • @blek It's mostly just a dumb comedy channel, that I immediately thought of after reading your post. Been a long time since I've actually watched the video.


  • Grade A Premium Asshole

    @magus I know, the huge faces seem familiar, I've seen something from them before. I just wanted to focus on the actual app being terrible instead of the people on it, there's plenty to rant about there as well but it's hard to write about that without looking like a rabid MGTOW or an incel.



  • @blek It's just another case proving the point that people still don't seem to understand:

    Things are not popular because they are the best. They are popular because someone was convinced they are the best. Maybe they were first, or maybe a small trickle turned into a movement.

    Most people don't care about details. I think in Tinder's case, the only detail they care about is the number of people on it. They'll put up with things no one should ever have to put up with for that.

    But that's basically just how humanity works.


  • Grade A Premium Asshole

    @magus Yeah, sure, but it's been a while since it became so extremely popular, and I'm sure plenty of people use the premium thing and pay them heavy money, a quick google tells me the company was valued at 1.35 billion dollars in 2015 - so I'm sure they could hire one somewhat competent person who could probably rewrite the entire app and make it miles better in like a week. It's a really simple app, I'm sure there's some deep hidden logic in the algorithm that decides what profiles you see but I was complaining about the client which is extremely bare bones and still broken in ways even my cynical ass wouldn't expect. They broke swiping.


  • area_can

    I agree that the app sucks, but

    @blek said in Tinder is shit:

    You can't even log into the fucking thing without a Facebook client installed on your phone. Of course, I don't want any dating profile to be in any way associated with my actual facebook profile

    Perhaps this is because I'm in North America but I'm not able to repro this

    I'm able to log in without any fb app installed. It just shows me an embedded web view:

    0_1510183906827_15101839061660.jpg

    They also appear to have an option for phone number login

    0_1510183956596_15101839561390.jpg



  • @blek Optons:

    1. Keep making money
    2. Keep making money, but spend some of it.

    They'll totally go for option 1.


  • Grade A Premium Asshole

    @bb36e Hm. I've had it on my phone for at least 6 months, probably more, so I suppose it changed in the meantime. Neither the webview login form nor the phone number option were there when I installed it. Yay for adding features, I guess, but phone number? Can't I just use a user name? Sigh...

    @Magus I knooooooow, but seriously I'm 1000% sure a halfway competent hobbyist programmer could write a vastly better client with the same functionality for like 10 thousand dollars, and I'm really highballing it here. Or hire one in Blekistan, they'll do it for 1k and they'll consider it a great deal.


  • Notification Spam Recipient

    As much as I hate the mob mentality in most things, with Tinder it at least makes sense. A dating app is only as good as the people on it. But I really fucking hate its freemium mentality. Hell, so do its users; so many profiles I've seen say that they directly refuse to respond to Super Likes. Not to mention the fact that it still retains its hookup-app design despite the majority of its users trying to use it for legitimate dating.


  • Notification Spam Recipient

    @blek If it didn't need to be so flashy, I could write a client with identical functionality in a weekend for $0.



  • @blek said in Tinder is shit:

    inb4 "you should get grindr instead"

    Obviously you're joking about this, but if you think Tinder is bad, Grindr is unbelievably worse.


  • kills Dumbledore

    @blek said in Tinder is shit:

    I'm sure they could hire one somewhat competent person who could probably rewrite the entire app and make it miles better in like a week

    I often complain that Facebook could do the same.



  • @magus said in Tinder is shit:

    Things are not popular because they are the best. They are popular because someone was convinced they are the best.

    Or they’re popular because they’re perceived to be popular. Say, a journalist writes an article that mentions (let’s pull a name out of thin air) Tinder specifically, simply because that’s what this journalist has tried for the article, not because it’s any good or because it’s already popular. People read the article, and think that because this “Tinder” is mentioned in the article, a lot of people must be using it. And Shirley, anything anyone else does, is clearly an example to be followed. (I grant you that with dating apps, there’s logic to that reasoning — but not for a lot else that becomes popular for the same reason, whether apps or whatever.)



  • @blek said in Tinder is shit:

    I'm going to just delete this and get Grindr.

    ...and you think that would be any better?


  • area_can

    @douglasac said in Tinder is shit:

    @blek said in Tinder is shit:

    inb4 "you should get grindr instead"

    Obviously you're joking about this, but if you think Tinder is bad, Grindr is unbelievably worse.

    Damn, and they ripped grindr off too (IIRC)



Looks like your connection to What the Daily WTF? was lost, please wait while we try to reconnect.