TDWTF Plays The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy
-
@error_bot enjoy poetry
-
Captain's Quarters, in the chair Score: 60 Moves: 89
Hey, let's not overdo it, okay?
"And hooptiously drangle me with crinkly bindlewurdles, or I will rend thee
in the gobberwarts with my blurglecruncheon, see if I don't!">
-
@error_bot enjoy poetry
-
Captain's Quarters, in the chair Score: 60 Moves: 90
Hey, let's not overdo it, okay?
"You looked like you enjoyed my poem. I think...yes, I think I'll read the
NEXT verse, also!">
-
@error_bot wait
-
Captain's Quarters, in the chair Score: 60 Moves: 91
Time passes...
"Gashee morphousite, thou expungiest quoopisk!"
>
-
@error_bot scream
-
Captain's Quarters, in the chair Score: 60 Moves: 92
You begin to get a sore throat.
"Bleem miserable venchit! Bleem forever mestinglish asunder frapt."
>
-
@error_bot gnash teeth
-
I don't know the word "gnash".
>
-
@error_bot wait
-
Captain's Quarters, in the chair Score: 60 Moves: 93
Time passes...
"Fripping lyshus wimbgunts, awhilst moongrovenly kormzibs."
>
-
@PleegWat listen
-
@error_bot listen
-
Captain's Quarters, in the chair Score: 60 Moves: 94
(to Vogon poetry)
You have no choice. Why not relax and enjoy it?"Gerond withoutitude form into formless bloit, why not then? Moose."
>
-
@error_bot wait
-
Time passes...
"Since you have somehow managed to survive two verses of my poetry, I have
no choice but to space you. Guards!" A guard grabs you and Ford, and drags
you toward the hold. Ford whispers, "Don't worry, I'll think of something!"Vogon Hold
This is a squalid room filled with grubby mattresses, unwashed cups, and
unidentifiable bits of smelly alien underwear. A door lies to port, and an
airlock lies to starboard. Your gown is hanging from a hook and a towel is
draped over a drain on the floor.
There is a satchel here, resting in front of the tiny robot panel.
In the corner is a glass case with a switch and a keyboard.
It looks like the glass case contains:
an atomic vector plotter
Along one wall is a tall dispensing machine.The guard releases you and Ford and begins cycling the air in the airlock.
"Hey, guard!" shouts Ford, "do you really enjoy this sort of thing?
Shouting, stomping around, shooting people, is it really a fulfilling
career?"Vogon Hold Score: 60 Moves: 95
>
-
@error_bot type morphousite on keyboard
-
You used the word "morphousite" in a way that I don't understand.
>
-
@error_bot enter morphousite
-
You used the word "morphousite" in a way that I don't understand.
>
-
@error_bot enter "morphousite"
-
Vogon Hold Score: 60 Moves: 96
Did you have any particular direction in mind?
Ford continues trying to talk the guard into a sudden career change.
>
-
@error_bot examine keyboard
-
Vogon Hold Score: 60 Moves: 97
You see nothing special about the keyboard.
Ford continues trying to talk the guard into a sudden career change.
>
-
@error_bot enter "morphousite" on keyboard
-
Vogon Hold Score: 60 Moves: 98
Did you have any particular direction in mind?
Ford continues trying to talk the guard into a sudden career change.
>
-
@error_bot type "morphousite" on keyboard
-
Vogon Hold Score: 85 Moves: 99
The glass case opens.
Ford continues trying to talk the guard into a sudden career change.
>
-
@error_bot take plotter
-
Airlock Score: 85 Moves: 100
Taken.
The guard says, "Well, all things considered, I guess I like being a guard.
Especially the shouting. Resistance is useless!" He throws you and Ford
into the airlock and closes the door.Airlock
This airlock has massive doors to port and starboard.>
-
@error_bot ask ford what now
-
You used the word "what" in a way that I don't understand.
>
-
@error_bot wait
-
Airlock Score: 85 Moves: 103
Time passes...
Ford points at the outer door. "In about two minutes, it will open and
we'll be ejected into the vacuum of space. But don't panic, I'll think of
something.">
-
@error_bot panic
-
Airlock Score: 85 Moves: 104
Not surprised.
Ford is mumbling to himself.
>
-
@error_bot query guide about panic
-
You used the word "panic" in a way that I don't understand.
>
-
@error_bot query guide about vogons
-
Airlock Score: 85 Moves: 105
The Guide checks through its Sub-Etha-Net database and eventually comes up
with the following entry:Vogons, whose specialties are bureaucracy and planet-smashing, are the most
unpleasant race in the Galaxy. They wouldn't think twice about throwing
someone into space, and wouldn't lift a finger to save their own
grandmother from the Ravenous Bugblatter Beast of Traal. Also see the
entries on Vogon poetry and the Ravenous Bugblatter Beast of Traal.Ford produces a pencil and begins scribbling equations on the wall.
>
-
@error_bot query guide about Ravenous Bugblatter Beast of Traa
-
I don't know the word "traa".
>
-
@error_bot query guide about Ravenous Bugblatter Beast of Traal
-
The Guide checks through its Sub-Etha-Net database and eventually comes up
with the following entry:The Ravenous Bugblatter Beast of Traal is a mind-bogglingly stupid animal.
It has almost no capacity for learning from experience and is therefore
surprised by virtually everything that happens to it. Here is an example of
how stupid it is: it thinks that if you can't see it, it can't see you.
Its behaviour would be quite endearing if it wasn't spoilt by this one
thing: it is the most violently carnivorous creature in the Galaxy. Avoid,
avoid, avoid.Ford's eyes light up. "Do you still have the Electronic Sub-Etha Auto
Hitching Thu..." At that moment, the airlock door opens, and you and Ford
are blown out into space.Your elbow must have struck some key on The Hitchhiker's Guide because it
begins droning out an entry, coincidentally enough the entry on SPACE. "If
you hyperventilate and then empty your lungs, you will last about thirty
seconds in the vacuum of space. However, because space is so vastly hugely
mind-bogglingly big, getting picked up by another ship within those thirty
seconds is almost infinitely improbable." (Footnote 9)Dark Score: 85 Moves: 106
Precisely twenty-nine seconds later, you and Ford are scooped up by a
passing ship. Gasping for air, you pass out...Dark
>
-
@error_bot look
-
Dark Score: 85 Moves: 107
Dark
You can't hear anything, see anything, smell anything, feel anything, or
taste anything, and do not even know where you are or who you are or how
you got there.>
-
@error_bot listen
-
Dark Score: 85 Moves: 108
(to darkness)
You can hear nothing, smell nothing, taste nothing, see nothing, feel
nothing, and are not even certain who you are.>
-
@error_bot smell