TDWTF Plays The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy
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Country Lane Score: 25 Moves: 28
Country Lane
The road runs from your home, to the north, toward the village Pub, to the
west.
Ford Prefect is here.
There is a dog here.>
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@error_bot north
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Front of House Score: 25 Moves: 29
You reach the site of what was your home. It is now a pile of rubble. Mr.
Prosser looks sheepishly triumphant, a trick few people can do, as it
requires a lot of technically complex deltoid muscle work.Front of House
Mr. Prosser, from the local council, is standing on the other side of the
bulldozer. He seems to be wearing a digital watch.Ford hurries after you.
>
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@error_bot punch prosser
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Front of House Score: 25 Moves: 30
You muck up all his fancy facial work. This is the last moment of
satisfaction you will experience for some time.>
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@error_bot punch prosser
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Front of House Score: 25 Moves: 31
You muck up all his fancy facial work. This is the last moment of
satisfaction you will experience for some time.With a noise like a cross between Led Zeppelin's farewell concert and the
eruption of Krakatoa, a huge fleet of Vogon Constructor ships flies
overhead and announces that the Earth will be demolished to make way for a
new hyperspace bypass in "two of your Earth minutes."In all the turmoil, you drop the thing your aunt gave you which you don't
know what it is and it rolls away. It is the least of your worries. Anyway,
you've been trying to get rid of it for years.>
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@error_bot punch prosser
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Front of House Score: 25 Moves: 32
You muck up all his fancy facial work. This is the last moment of
satisfaction you will experience for some time.The vast yellow ships thunder across the sky, spreading waves of terror and
panic in their wake. The voice of the Vogon Captain slams across the
country, insisting that the planning charts and demolition orders have been
available at the local planning office in Alpha Centauri for fifty years
and it's too late to start making a fuss about it now.Throughout the noise, Ford is shouting at you. He removes a small black
device from his satchel, but accidentally drops it at your feet.>
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@error_bot take device
examine device
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Front of House Score: 25 Moves: 33
Taken.
Fierce gales whip across the land, and thunder bangs continuously through
the air in the wake of the giant ships. Ford fights to reach you, but the
wind is too fierce. Further announcements from the Vogon Captain make it
clear that demolition will begin in just a few seconds.Through the blinding rain, you see lights flickering on the small device.
> Front of House Score: 25 Moves: 34
The electronic Sub-Etha signaling device is shaped like a small fist with
an extended thumb. Various lights along its "knuckles" are currently
blinking wildly, indicating a spaceship in the vicinity. It has two small
buttons, a red one labelled "Call Engineer" and a green one labelled
"Hitchhike." It bears a small label which reads "Another fine product of
the Sirius Cybernetics Corporation." Affixed to the Thumb is a lifetime
guarantee.>
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@error_bot press green button on device
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That sentence isn't one I recognise.
>
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@error_bot press green button
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Dark Score: 25 Moves: 35
Lights whirl sickeningly around your head, the ground arches away beneath
your feet, and every atom of your being is scrambled, an experience you're
probably going to have to get used to. You are in...Dark
>
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@error_bot save
vogon hold
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Please enter a filename [dog]: Okay.
>
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I still have my "Don't Panic!" button that came with this game :)
Oddly enough, the cheese sandwich/dog bit is one of the few things you can fix later.
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@error_bot said in TDWTF Plays The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy:
\*\*\*\* You have died \*\*\*\*
FFS. Is there a sane way to escape plaintext into unformatted Markdown?
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I don't know the word "ffs".
>
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@error_bot look
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Dark Score: 25 Moves: 36
Dark
You can't hear anything, see anything, smell anything, feel anything, or
taste anything, and do not even know where you are or who you are or how
you got there.>
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Dark Score: 25 Moves: 37
You can hear nothing, smell nothing, taste nothing, see nothing, feel
nothing, and are not even certain who you are.>
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@error_bot exist
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I don't know the word "exist".
>
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@error_bot look
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Dark
There's nothing you can taste, nothing you can see, nothing you can hear,
nothing you can feel, nothing you can smell, you do not even know who you
are.It is of course well known that careless talk costs lives, but the full
scale of the problem is not always appreciated. For instance, at the exact
moment you said "ffs. is there a sane way to escape markdown to produce
plaintext" a freak wormhole opened in the fabric of the space-time
continuum and carried your words far far back in time across almost
infinite reaches of space to a distant galaxy where strange and warlike
beings were poised on the brink of frightful interstellar battle.The two opposing leaders were meeting for the last time. A dreadful silence
fell across the conference table as the commander of the Vl'Hurgs,
resplendent in his black jewelled battle shorts, gazed levelly at the
G'Gugvunt leader squatting opposite him in a cloud of green, sweet-smelling
steam. As a million sleek and horribly beweaponed star cruisers poised to
unleash electric death at his single word of command, the Vl'Hurg
challenged his vile enemy to take back what it had said about his mother.Dark Score: 25 Moves: 38
The creature stirred in its sickly broiling vapour, and at that very moment
the words "ffs. is there a sane way to escape markdown to produce
plaintext" drifted across the conference table. Unfortunately, in the
Vl'Hurg tongue this was the most dreadful insult imaginable, and there was
nothing for it but to wage terrible war for centuries. Eventually the error
was detected, but over two hundred and fifty thousand worlds, their peoples
and cultures perished in the holocaust.You have destroyed most of a small galaxy. Please pick your words with
greater care.>
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@error_bot look
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Dark Score: 25 Moves: 39
Dark
You can see nothing, feel nothing, hear nothing, taste nothing, and are not
entirely certain who you are.>
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@error_bot smell
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Dark Score: 25 Moves: 40
(darkness)
It does smell a bit. There's something pungent being waved under your nose.
Your head begins to clear. You can make out a shadow moving in the dark.>
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@error_bot look at shadow
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Vogon Hold Score: 33 Moves: 41
The shadow is vaguely Ford Prefect-shaped.
Vogon Hold
This is a squalid room filled with grubby mattresses, unwashed cups, and
unidentifiable bits of smelly alien underwear. A door lies to port, and an
airlock lies to starboard.
In the corner is a glass case with a switch and a keyboard.
It looks like the glass case contains:
an atomic vector plotter
Along one wall is a tall dispensing machine.Ford removes the bottle of Santraginean Mineral Water which he's been
waving under your nose. He tells you that you are aboard a Vogon spaceship,
and gives you some peanuts.>
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@error_bot eat peanuts
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Vogon Hold Score: 33 Moves: 42
You feel stronger as the peanuts replace some of the protein you lost in
the matter transference beam.>
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@error_bot look
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Vogon Hold Score: 33 Moves: 43
Vogon Hold
This is a squalid room filled with grubby mattresses, unwashed cups, and
unidentifiable bits of smelly alien underwear. A door lies to port, and an
airlock lies to starboard.
Ford Prefect is here.
In the corner is a glass case with a switch and a keyboard.
It looks like the glass case contains:
an atomic vector plotter
Along one wall is a tall dispensing machine.>
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@error_bot look dispensing machine
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Vogon Hold Score: 33 Moves: 44
Use prepositions to indicate precisely what you want to do: LOOK AT the
object, LOOK INSIDE it, LOOK UNDER it, etc.>
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@error_bot look at dispensing machine
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Vogon Hold Score: 33 Moves: 45
The dispenser is tall, has a button at around eye-level, and says "Babel
Fish" in large letters. Anything dispensed would probably come out the slot
at around knee-level. It bears a small label which reads "Another fine
product of the Sirius Cybernetics Corporation.">
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@error_bot ford "Where are we?"
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There was no verb in that sentence!
>
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@error_bot ask ford "Where are we?"
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What do you want to ask Ford about?
>
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@error_bot Where are we
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I don't know the word "we".
>
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@error_bot Ask ford Where am I?
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You used the word "where" in a way that I don't understand.
>