TDWTF Plays The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy
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@error_bot look at glass case
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Captain's Quarters, in the chair Score: 45 Moves: 73
The glass case is closed. Attached to it are a keyboard and a switch.
Guards burst in and grab you and Ford, who comes slowly awake. They drag
you down the corridor to a large cabin, where they strap you into large,
menacing chairs...Captain's Quarters, in the poetry appreciation chair
This is the cabin of the Vogon Captain. You and Ford are strapped into
poetry appreciation chairs.
The Captain is indescribably hideous, indescribably blubbery, and
indescribably mid-to-dark green. He is holding samples of his favourite
poetry.>
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@error_bot wait
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Captain's Quarters, in the chair Score: 45 Moves: 75
Time passes...
"If he's going to read us his poetry," mutters Ford, sweating profusely,
"just pray he softens us up with some cudgels first...""Hello, hitchhikers!" begins the Vogon Captain. "I've decided to read you a
verse of my poetry!">
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@error_bot wait
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Captain's Quarters, in the chair Score: 45 Moves: 76
Time passes...
"Oh freddled gruntbuggly, thy nacturations are to me!"
>
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@error_bot listen
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Captain's Quarters, in the chair Score: 45 Moves: 77
(to Vogon poetry)
You have no choice. Why not relax and enjoy it?"As plurdled gabbleblotchits on a lurgid bee."
>
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@error_bot enjoy poetry
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Captain's Quarters, in the chair Score: 60 Moves: 78
You realise that, although the Vogon poetry is indeed astoundingly bad,
worse things happen at sea, and in fact, at school. With an effort for
which Hercules himself would have patted you on the back, you grit your
teeth and enjoy the stuff."Groop I implore thee, my foonting turlingdromes."
>
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@error_bot enjoy poetry
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Captain's Quarters, in the chair Score: 60 Moves: 79
Hey, let's not overdo it, okay?
"And hooptiously drangle me with crinkly bindlewurdles, or I will rend thee
in the gobberwarts with my blurglecruncheon, see if I don't!">
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@error_bot wait
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Captain's Quarters, in the chair Score: 60 Moves: 80
Time passes...
"You looked like you enjoyed my poem. I think...yes, I think I'll read the
NEXT verse, also!">
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@error_bot wait
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Captain's Quarters, in the chair Score: 60 Moves: 81
Time passes...
"Bleem miserable venchit! Bleem forever mestinglish asunder frapt."
>
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@error_bot listen
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Captain's Quarters, in the chair Score: 60 Moves: 82
(to Vogon poetry)
You have no choice. Why not relax and enjoy it?"Gashee morphousite, thou expungiest quoopisk!"
>
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@error_bot enjoy poetry
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Captain's Quarters, in the chair Score: 60 Moves: 83
Hey, let's not overdo it, okay?
"Fripping lyshus wimbgunts, awhilst moongrovenly kormzibs."
>
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@error_bot scream
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Captain's Quarters, in the chair Score: 60 Moves: 84
You begin to get a sore throat.
"Gerond withoutitude form into formless bloit, why not then? Moose."
>
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@error_bot wait
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Vogon Hold Score: 60 Moves: 85
Time passes...
"Since you have somehow managed to survive two verses of my poetry, I have
no choice but to space you. Guards!" A guard grabs you and Ford, and drags
you toward the hold. Ford whispers, "Don't worry, I'll think of something!"Vogon Hold
This is a squalid room filled with grubby mattresses, unwashed cups, and
unidentifiable bits of smelly alien underwear. A door lies to port, and an
airlock lies to starboard.
In the corner is a glass case with a switch and a keyboard.
It looks like the glass case contains:
an atomic vector plotter
Along one wall is a tall dispensing machine.The guard releases you and Ford and begins cycling the air in the airlock.
"Hey, guard!" shouts Ford, "do you really enjoy this sort of thing?
Shouting, stomping around, shooting people, is it really a fulfilling
career?">
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@error_bot look glass case
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Vogon Hold Score: 60 Moves: 86
Use prepositions to indicate precisely what you want to do: LOOK AT the
object, LOOK INSIDE it, LOOK UNDER it, etc.Ford continues trying to talk the guard into a sudden career change.
>
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@error_bot look at glass case
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Vogon Hold Score: 60 Moves: 87
The glass case is closed. Attached to it are a keyboard and a switch.
Ford continues trying to talk the guard into a sudden career change.
>
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@error_bot press switch
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Vogon Hold Score: 60 Moves: 88
A recording plays: "To open the case, type in the second word from the
second verse of the Captain's current favourite poem. WARNING: An incorrect
input will cause the case to explode."Ford continues trying to talk the guard into a sudden career change.
>
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@error_bot type "miserable"
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Vogon Hold Score: 85 Moves: 89
The glass case opens.
Ford continues trying to talk the guard into a sudden career change.
>
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@error_bot take all
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Airlock Score: 85 Moves: 90
keyboard: Nice try.
The guard says, "Well, all things considered, I guess I like being a guard.
Especially the shouting. Resistance is useless!" He throws you and Ford
into the airlock and closes the door.Airlock
This airlock has massive doors to port and starboard.>
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Damn, didn't get the plotter.
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@error_bot restore
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Please enter a filename [vogon hold]:
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@error_bot vogon hold
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Dark Score: 25 Moves: 35
Okay.
Dark>
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@error_bot look
look
look
look
look
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Dark Score: 25 Moves: 36
Dark
You can't hear anything, see anything, smell anything, feel anything, or
taste anything, and do not even know where you are or who you are or how
you got there.> Dark Score: 25 Moves: 37
Dark
You can hear nothing, smell nothing, taste nothing, see nothing, feel
nothing, and are not even certain who you are.> Dark Score: 25 Moves: 38
Dark
You can see nothing, feel nothing, hear nothing, taste nothing, smell
nothing, and are not entirely certain who you are.> Dark Score: 25 Moves: 39
Dark
There's nothing you can taste, nothing you can see, nothing you can hear,
nothing you can feel, you do not even know who you are.> Dark Score: 25 Moves: 40
Dark
You can hear nothing, taste nothing, see nothing, feel nothing, and are not
even certain who you are.>
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@error_bot smell
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Dark Score: 25 Moves: 41
(darkness)
It does smell a bit. There's something pungent being waved under your nose.
Your head begins to clear. You can make out a shadow moving in the dark.>
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@error_bot look at shadow
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Vogon Hold Score: 33 Moves: 42
The shadow is vaguely Ford Prefect-shaped.
Vogon Hold
This is a squalid room filled with grubby mattresses, unwashed cups, and
unidentifiable bits of smelly alien underwear. A door lies to port, and an
airlock lies to starboard.
In the corner is a glass case with a switch and a keyboard.
It looks like the glass case contains:
an atomic vector plotter
Along one wall is a tall dispensing machine.Ford removes the bottle of Santraginean Mineral Water which he's been
waving under your nose. He tells you that you are aboard a Vogon spaceship,
and gives you some peanuts.>
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@error_bot take off gown
hang gown on hook
take towel
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Vogon Hold Score: 33 Moves: 43
Okay, you're no longer wearing your gown.
> Vogon Hold Score: 33 Moves: 44
The gown is now hanging from the hook, covering a tiny hole.
You begin to feel distinctly groggy.
> Vogon Hold Score: 33 Moves: 45
Taken.
You begin to feel indistinctly groggy.
>
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@error_bot eat peanuts
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Vogon Hold Score: 33 Moves: 46
You feel stronger as the peanuts replace some of the protein you lost in
the matter transference beam.>
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@error_bot put towel on grate