TDWTF Plays The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy
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Vogon Hold Score: 33 Moves: 47
The towel completely covers the drain.
Ford yawns. "Matter transference always tires me out. I'm going to take a
nap." He places something on top of his satchel. "If you have any
questions, here's The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy" (Footnote 14). Ford
lowers his voice to a whisper. "I'm not supposed to tell you this, but
you'll never be able to finish the game without consulting the Guide about
lots of stuff." As he curls up in a corner and begins snoring, you pick up
The Hitchhiker's Guide.>
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@error_bot take satchel
put satchel in front of panel
put mail on satchel
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Vogon Hold Score: 33 Moves: 48
Taken.
> Vogon Hold Score: 33 Moves: 49
Okay, the satchel is lying on its side in front of the tiny robot panel.
> Vogon Hold Score: 33 Moves: 50
Okay, the loose pile of junk mail is now sitting on the satchel.
>
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@error_bot push dispenser button
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Vogon Hold Score: 45 Moves: 51
A single babel fish shoots out of the slot. It sails across the room and
hits the dressing gown. The fish slides down the sleeve of the gown and
falls to the floor, landing on the towel. A split second later, a tiny
cleaning robot whizzes across the floor, grabs the fish, and continues its
breakneck pace toward a tiny robot panel at the base of the wall. The robot
plows into the satchel, sending the babel fish flying through the air in a
graceful arc surrounded by a cloud of junk mail. Another robot flies in and
begins madly collecting the cluttered plume of mail. The babel fish
continues its flight, landing with a loud "squish" in your ear.>
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@error_bot take all
look at glass case
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Vogon Hold Score: 45 Moves: 52
satchel: Taken.
towel: Taken.
your gown: Taken.
keyboard: You can't be serious.> Vogon Hold Score: 45 Moves: 53
The glass case is closed. Attached to it are a keyboard and a switch.
>
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@error_bot push switch
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Vogon Hold Score: 45 Moves: 54
A recording plays: "To open the case, type in the third word from the
second verse of the Captain's current favourite poem. WARNING: An incorrect
input will cause the case to explode."An announcement is coming over the ship's intercom. "This is the Captain.
My instruments show that we've picked up a couple of hitchhikers. I hate
freeloaders, and when my guards find you I'll have you thrown into space.
On second thought, maybe I'll read you some of my poetry first.
Repeating...">
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@error_bot save
babel fish
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Please enter a filename [vogon hold]: Okay.
>
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@error_bot type "venchit"
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The hold of the Vogon ship is virtually undamaged by the explosion of the
glass case. You, however, are blasted into tiny bits and smeared all over
the room. Several cleaning robots fly in and wipe you neatly off the walls.\*\*\*\* You have died \*\*\*\*
We are about to give you your score. Put on your peril-sensitive sunglasses
now. (Hit RETURN or ENTER when ready.) >
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@error_bot restore
babel fish
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Your score is 45 of a possible 400, in 54 turns.
Would you like to start over, restore a saved position, get hints or end
this session of the game?
(Type RESTART, RESTORE, HINTS or QUIT):
>Would you like to start over, restore a saved position, get hints or end
this session of the game?
(Type RESTART, RESTORE, HINTS or QUIT):
>
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@error_bot restore
babel fish
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Please enter a filename [babel fish]: Vogon Hold Score: 45 Moves: 54
Okay.
Vogon Hold
Ford is in the corner, snoring loudly.
In the corner is a glass case with a switch and a keyboard.
It looks like the glass case contains:
an atomic vector plotter
Along one wall is a tall dispensing machine.>
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@error_bot push switch
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Vogon Hold Score: 45 Moves: 55
A recording plays: "To open the case, type in the third word from the
second verse of the Captain's current favourite poem. WARNING: An incorrect
input will cause the case to explode."An announcement is coming over the ship's intercom. "This is the Captain.
My instruments show that we've picked up a couple of hitchhikers. I hate
freeloaders, and when my guards find you I'll have you thrown into space.
On second thought, maybe I'll read you some of my poetry first.
Repeating...">
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@error_bot wait
wait
wait
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Vogon Hold Score: 45 Moves: 56
Time passes...
An announcement is coming over the ship's intercom. "This is the Captain.
My instruments show that we've picked up a couple of hitchhikers. I hate
freeloaders, and when my guards find you I'll have you thrown into space.
On second thought, maybe I'll read you some of my poetry first.
Repeating..."> Captain's Quarters, in the chair Score: 45 Moves: 57
Time passes...
Guards burst in and grab you and Ford, who comes slowly awake. They drag
you down the corridor to a large cabin, where they strap you into large,
menacing chairs...Captain's Quarters, in the poetry appreciation chair
This is the cabin of the Vogon Captain. You and Ford are strapped into
poetry appreciation chairs.
The Captain is indescribably hideous, indescribably blubbery, and
indescribably mid-to-dark green. He is holding samples of his favourite
poetry.> Captain's Quarters, in the chair Score: 45 Moves: 59
Time passes...
"If he's going to read us his poetry," mutters Ford, sweating profusely,
"just pray he softens us up with some cudgels first...""Hello, hitchhikers!" begins the Vogon Captain. "I've decided to read you a
verse of my poetry!">
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@error_bot listen
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Captain's Quarters, in the chair Score: 45 Moves: 60
(to Vogon poetry)
The Vogon Captain hasn't begun yet!"Oh freddled gruntbuggly, thy nacturations are to me!"
>
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@error_bot enjoy poetry
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Captain's Quarters, in the chair Score: 60 Moves: 61
You realise that, although the Vogon poetry is indeed astoundingly bad,
worse things happen at sea, and in fact, at school. With an effort for
which Hercules himself would have patted you on the back, you grit your
teeth and enjoy the stuff."As plurdled gabbleblotchits on a lurgid bee."
>
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@error_bot enjoy poetry
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Captain's Quarters, in the chair Score: 60 Moves: 62
Hey, let's not overdo it, okay?
"Groop I implore thee, my foonting turlingdromes."
>
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@error_bot listen
listen
enjoy poetry
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Captain's Quarters, in the chair Score: 60 Moves: 63
(to Vogon poetry)
You have no choice. Why not relax and enjoy it?"And hooptiously drangle me with crinkly bindlewurdles, or I will rend thee
in the gobberwarts with my blurglecruncheon, see if I don't!"> Captain's Quarters, in the chair Score: 60 Moves: 64
(to Vogon poetry)
You have no choice. Why not relax and enjoy it?"You looked like you enjoyed my poem. I think...yes, I think I'll read the
NEXT verse, also!"> Captain's Quarters, in the chair Score: 60 Moves: 65
Hey, let's not overdo it, okay?
"Gashee morphousite, thou expungiest quoopisk!"
>
-
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Captain's Quarters, in the chair Score: 60 Moves: 66
You begin to get a sore throat.
"Bleem miserable venchit! Bleem forever mestinglish asunder frapt."
> Captain's Quarters, in the chair Score: 60 Moves: 67
Time passes...
"Fripping lyshus wimbgunts, awhilst moongrovenly kormzibs."
>
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@error_bot listen
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Captain's Quarters, in the chair Score: 60 Moves: 68
(to Vogon poetry)
You have no choice. Why not relax and enjoy it?"Gerond withoutitude form into formless bloit, why not then? Moose."
>
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@error_bot wait
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Vogon Hold Score: 60 Moves: 69
Time passes...
"Since you have somehow managed to survive two verses of my poetry, I have
no choice but to space you. Guards!" A guard grabs you and Ford, and drags
you toward the hold. Ford whispers, "Don't worry, I'll think of something!"Vogon Hold
This is a squalid room filled with grubby mattresses, unwashed cups, and
unidentifiable bits of smelly alien underwear. A door lies to port, and an
airlock lies to starboard.
In the corner is a glass case with a switch and a keyboard.
It looks like the glass case contains:
an atomic vector plotter
Along one wall is a tall dispensing machine.The guard releases you and Ford and begins cycling the air in the airlock.
"Hey, guard!" shouts Ford, "do you really enjoy this sort of thing?
Shouting, stomping around, shooting people, is it really a fulfilling
career?">
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@error_bot type "thou"
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Vogon Hold Score: 85 Moves: 70
The glass case opens.
Ford continues trying to talk the guard into a sudden career change.
>
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@error_bot take vector plotter
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Vogon Hold Score: 85 Moves: 71
Your load is too heavy.
Ford continues trying to talk the guard into a sudden career change.
>
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@error_bot put all in thing
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Vogon Hold Score: 85 Moves: 72
your gown: Done.
towel: Done.
satchel: Done.
babel fish: You'll have to remove it first.
The Hitchhiker's Guide: Done.
electronic Sub-Etha signaling device: Done.
toothbrush: Done.
flathead screwdriver: Done.Ford continues trying to talk the guard into a sudden career change.
>
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@error_bot take vector plotter
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Vogon Hold Score: 85 Moves: 73
Your load is too heavy.
Ford continues trying to talk the guard into a sudden career change.
>
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@error_bot drop thing
take vector plotter
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Airlock Score: 85 Moves: 74
It falls to the ground with a light "thunk." It doesn't do anything else at
all.The guard says, "Well, all things considered, I guess I like being a guard.
Especially the shouting. Resistance is useless!" He throws you and Ford
into the airlock and closes the door.Airlock
This airlock has massive doors to port and starboard.>You can't see any vector plotter here!
>
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@error_bot restore
babel fish
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Please enter a filename [babel fish]: Vogon Hold Score: 45 Moves: 54
Okay.
Vogon Hold
Ford is in the corner, snoring loudly.
In the corner is a glass case with a switch and a keyboard.
It looks like the glass case contains:
an atomic vector plotter
Along one wall is a tall dispensing machine.>
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@error_bot type "thou"
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The hold of the Vogon ship is virtually undamaged by the explosion of the
glass case. You, however, are blasted into tiny bits and smeared all over
the room. Several cleaning robots fly in and wipe you neatly off the walls.\*\*\*\* You have died \*\*\*\*
We are about to give you your score. Put on your peril-sensitive sunglasses
now. (Hit RETURN or ENTER when ready.) >
-
@error_bot restore
babel fish