The Cooking Thread
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@dcon said in The Cooking Thread:
@ObjectMike said in The Cooking Thread:
Eew, they'd be room temperature.
He could've nuked the water bottle first...
Still, even tho I (very) occasionally eat those, I'd say that goes in the Nope thread, not the Cooking one!
I guess I'd never nuke those flimsy bottles.
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Very possibly the best looking apple pie I've ever baked from scratch. It's still too hot to taste.
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@HardwareGeek is it gluten-free? Just curious if it can also taste good.
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@Polygeekery Yes and yes. It's basically the same recipe I made at Thanksgiving (edit: but without the excess of lemon). The crust has a different texture than normal pastry, more like shortbread than flaky pastry. But it tastes good.
Note that it looks perfectly baked, but the filling is under-cooked, and bottom crust might be a little, too. Oh, well; live and learn. Lower temperature for longer time.
Edit: Also, no sugar added. Sweetened with stevia.
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Our traditional family Christmas cake (log), made by yours truly.
This is a recipe that one of my cousin learnt at school (at a time when there were cooking lessons at school... ) and that my mother took over. She made it for Christmas, and only ever at Christmas for something like 30 years before she decided it was too much work and I took over making it (it isn't that much work, though it's a bit long and fiddly at times). I honestly wouldn't say it's extraordinarily tasty, but it's a tradition! Plus it's mostly chocolate, butter and sugar, so it can't really be bad.
The dish itself also is part of the tradition. My mother used to use a canary-yellow dish with golden insets that was quite hideous and only ever used for that cake. Every year we joked about how ugly it was and that we should break it down, while my mother played the fierce defender of the dish. But of course we kept using it. Until last year when it was actually broken... by my mother! So this year my brother found a new "yellow" dish (pictured, on a wooden table of course) and that was the first Christmas present that my mother opened.
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@remi said in The Cooking Thread:
yeah, I know, it also looks a bit like that sort of 'log'
Just a skosh. I would suggest more fiber in your diet. That looks like it would cause a bad case of "mud butt".
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@HardwareGeek said in The Cooking Thread:
Edit: Also, no sugar added. Sweetened with stevia.
Read that as "sweetened with saliva" at first and was like "oh, @HardwareGeek got his start as a short order cook"
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@Polygeekery Gluten-free dough can taste just fine, the real problem is working with it. I tried it once and I found out that it's the work of the devil. Stickiest goddamn thing I've ever touched.
(That was years ago, I can't remember what exactly they used instead of flour)
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@Polygeekery said in The Cooking Thread:
I would suggest more fiber in your diet.
That was taken care of with the next meal:
(GIS picture, didn't bother taking a pic)
Lots of fermented cabbage has, uh, side-effects. Lower-side effect.
But it's sooooo taaaasty...
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@izzion said in The Cooking Thread:
Read that as "sweetened with saliva" at first
I always read it as "sweetened with sativa" and assume that his food smells pretty skunky.
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@Polygeekery said in The Cooking Thread:
his food smells pretty skunky
that would have been the cabbage too
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Christmas and New Year were pretty conventional for us food-wise (except for the ordering of things for reasons that don't matter here). Of particular note was the traditional Christmas pudding (a gift from my brother) that we had on New Year's Day; it was accompanied with a brandy butter that was strong enough and in large enough quantities to entirely explain why I did nothing meaningful for the rest of the day.
There's a Christmas cake to come, where that's only really called a "cake" by convention given the quantity of preserved fruit and alcohol involved; I expect to have recovered enough by the weekend to start on that.
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@remi said in The Cooking Thread:
fermented cabbage ... sooooo taaaasty
Sauerkraut is something I get the urge for once a decade or three. I'm not sure, but I think maybe the last time I had any was when I was in Germany, and I haven't been there since 2000.
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@HardwareGeek I love sauerkraut. And kimchi.
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@Polygeekery said in The Cooking Thread:
I always read it as "sweetened with sativa" and assume that his food smells pretty skunky.
Sativa means cultivated, and it's part of the scientific name of a lot of plants, including rice (Oryza sativa), oats (Avena sativa), lettuce (Lactuca sativa), alfalfa (Medicago sativa), false flax (Camelina Sativa), black cumin (Nigella sativa), arugula (Eruca vesicaria ssp. sativa), parsnip (Pastinaca sativa), common vetch (Vicia sativa), tarragon (Artemisia dracunculus var. sativa), sweet chestnut (Castanea sativa), and various species that use the masculine -us and neuter -um forms, e.g., saffron crocus (Crocus sativus) and garlic (Allium sativum).
So, in a way, my pie did include sativa (Oryza sativa), since rice flour is the main ingredient in the crust. Or a main ingredient, anyway; if you measure the composition by mass, the butter may well exceed the flour.
(TIL that sativa, used alone, refers to Cannabis sativa. I'm so not into that stuff that I didn't even know that. It took some effort to find anything else on the internet.)
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@Polygeekery said in The Cooking Thread:
@HardwareGeek I love sauerkraut. And kimchi.
Why Hungary ?
Kimchi is Korean !
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@BernieTheBernie my guess is that it's the same reason why he could of used on Thanksgiving.
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@remi said in The Cooking Thread:
could of
May you have to eat English cooking for the rest of your days!
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I didn't think you'd sink so low.
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@remi said in The Cooking Thread:
@BernieTheBernie my guess is that it's the same reason why he could of used on Thanksgiving.

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@HardwareGeek said in The Cooking Thread:
@remi said in The Cooking Thread:
could of
May you have to eat English cooking for the rest of your days!
Hey now!! That was uncalled for.
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@HardwareGeek said in The Cooking Thread:
@remi said in The Cooking Thread:
could of
May you have to eat English cooking for the rest of your days!
That's a bit too harsh.
Such extra cruel punishments are not constitutional!
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@BernieTheBernie said in The Cooking Thread:
@HardwareGeek said in The Cooking Thread:
@remi said in The Cooking Thread:
could of
May you have to eat English cooking for the rest of your days!
That's a bit too harsh.
Such extra cruel punishments are not constitutional!If they are not against the Geneva Convention they damned well should be.
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@HardwareGeek said in The Cooking Thread:
May you have to eat English boarding school cooking for the rest of your days!
If you're going to wheel that insult out, use the correct version of it.
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@dkf said in The Cooking Thread:
@HardwareGeek said in The Cooking Thread:
May you have to eat English boarding school cooking for the rest of your days!
If you're going to wheel that insult out, use the correct version of it.
What is bubble and squeak, anyway?
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@dkf said in The Cooking Thread:
@HardwareGeek said in The Cooking Thread:
May you have to eat English boarding school cooking for the rest of your days!
If you're going to wheel that insult out, use the correct version of it.
No. Most proper English food is rubbish. This is probably why you basically adopted Indian food.
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@Polygeekery said in The Cooking Thread:
@dkf said in The Cooking Thread:
@HardwareGeek said in The Cooking Thread:
May you have to eat English boarding school cooking for the rest of your days!
If you're going to wheel that insult out, use the correct version of it.
No. Most proper English food is rubbish. This is probably why you basically adopted Indian food.
"So, what you do is, you don't destroy the original flavor, and then, you add more flavors."
Sadly, due to an odd rowhammer-type interaction with the lyrics to "God Save The
QueenKing", the above sentence causes cardiac arrest in 97% of the English.
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@dkf said in The Cooking Thread:
@HardwareGeek said in The Cooking Thread:
May you have to eat English boarding school cooking for the rest of your days!
If you're going to wheel that insult out, use the correct version of it.
I'd also accept whatever it was that gave my wife and I food-borne illness on the last night of our honeymoon. 11 hours in an airplane lavatory is not fun. I'm not entirely sure what that was, but my best guess is either a salad at a fancy restaurant or horribly greasy fish and chips the previous night.
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@Polygeekery said in The Cooking Thread:
@dkf said in The Cooking Thread:
@HardwareGeek said in The Cooking Thread:
May you have to eat English boarding school cooking for the rest of your days!
If you're going to wheel that insult out, use the correct version of it.
No. Most proper English food is rubbish. This is probably why you basically adopted Indian food.
For a country that seems to hate foreigners, we eat a lot of their food.
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@HardwareGeek said in The Cooking Thread:
but my best guess is either a salad at a fancy restaurant or horribly greasy fish and chips the previous night.
Nothing lives thru grease. And you use to live here, so you know the odds of a lettuce contamination.
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@loopback0 said in The Cooking Thread:
@Polygeekery said in The Cooking Thread:
@dkf said in The Cooking Thread:
@HardwareGeek said in The Cooking Thread:
May you have to eat English boarding school cooking for the rest of your days!
If you're going to wheel that insult out, use the correct version of it.
No. Most proper English food is rubbish. This is probably why you basically adopted Indian food.
For a country that seems to hate foreigners, we eat a lot of their food.
I've considered that same thing myself.
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@Polygeekery said in The Cooking Thread:
Most proper English food is rubbish.
Only if you ignore several major categories of it.
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@dkf said in The Cooking Thread:
@Polygeekery said in The Cooking Thread:
Most proper English food is rubbish.
Only if you ignore several major categories of it.
The major categories of proper English food:
- Bangers and mash
- Bubble and squeak
- Greasy fish and chips
- Warm beer
- Takeaway curry
Nope, it's all rubbish.
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Tasty meatloaf
- 3 lbs ground turkey
- 2 lbs Jimmy Dean sage sausage
- 2 eggs
- 1/2 onion, shredded
- a couple of handfuls of baby carrots, shredded
- a few slices of canned beets, shredded
- a bunch of cloves of garlic (7â9?), shredded
- enough oatmeal to make it fly everywhere when I started the mixer
- about 1/2 a bottle of Stubb's Spicy Legendary Bar-B-Q Sauce
- salt, pepper
- More Stubb's BBQ sauce drizzled on top
Bake at 350°F (177°C) until the meat thermometer says it's done (~1.5 hours? I wasn't really keeping track).
Serve with garlic-rosemary-parsley mashed potatoes.
TIL my stand mixer isn't quite big enough to handle a 5-lb meat loaf. I have a 4.5 qt KitchenAid mixer; I needed at least the next larger size (5 qt). I flung oatmeal all over the counter and floor and smeared meat mix on the moving bits.
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@HardwareGeek I believe you have forgotten the kippers.
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@dkf eh, he's just a clone.
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I mentioned in another thread that a city-building game that I play kinda sucks at naming streets, and tends to reuse names. It sucks even worse at naming industries; it has a short list of names to choose from, so it reuses those a lot. In particular, a city is most likely inundated with dozens (if not hundreds, in a large city) of instances of "Frank's Fish Stick Factory" or "Frank's Gourmet Fish Stick Factory". Inspired by this, I decided to make gourmet fish sticks.
I thawed a salmon fillet I've had in the freezer for a long time and marinated it according to this recipe. Then, instead of grilling it, I baked it just enough to make removing the skin easy, then cut it into fish-stick-sized strips, breaded them with Kikkoman gluten-free panko-style breadcrumbs seasoned with salt, pepper and a little dried onion, and finished baking them.
Tasty, but I'd do a few things differently next time. I think I'd cut the fillet into strips before removing the skin (or maybe just leave it on; it's supposed to be very healthy, unless it's contaminated with PCBs and/or mercury; apparently, the skin has the highest concentration of contaminants, and Atlantic farmed salmon (which this was, I think) is the salmon most likely to be contaminated and Pacific wild-caught the least likely).
I also think I'd batter it, rather than bread it. I can never get breading to adhere properly. Or, you know, just forget the fish sticks and grill the fillet over an open flame, like God intended man to cook.
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@HardwareGeek tl;dr did u di3d?
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Itâs a straya day, and that means no better time for the most strayan cuisine imaginable â a lovely strawberry pavlova. I definitely didnât make it primarily due to a Swedeâs expression of supreme envy upon searching âAustralian Christmasâ and seeing a particular strawberry pavlova.
And now I feel sickâŚ
(also the meringue doesnât hold up too well once the cream is added, so eat relatively quicklyâŚ)
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When I cook, I like to amortize the effort over several meals. I may have overdone it a bit tonight.
4 lbs. gluten-free pasta
2 lbs. extra-sharp white cheddar
~0.5 lb. mozzarella
0.66 lb. broccoli
1/4 lb. butter
? milk
2â3 oz. (?) ham
~1/4 c. gluten-free bread crumbs
salt, pepper, garlic powder, minced onion, oregano, paprika, potato starch= a dozen+ good meals.
The sauce was not quite what I had in mind, and despite 2.5 pounds of cheese, there wasn't really enough of it for 4 pounds of macaroni, but it was tasty anyway.
Edit: Also, it takes a long time to heat enough water for 4 pounds of pasta to boiling. And it's hard to stir that much pasta to keep it from sticking together at the bottom of the pot.
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@HardwareGeek said in The Cooking Thread:
Also, it takes a long time to heat enough water for 4 pounds of pasta to boiling. And it's hard to stir that much pasta to keep it from sticking together at the bottom of the pot.
You also can't get enough energy back into it in the cooking time to bring it back to a rolling boil. You pretty much have to babysit it the entire time and may need to extend the cooking time a bit because of the temperature drop.
That's a shitton of pasta to cook at one time.
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@Polygeekery said in The Cooking Thread:
extend the cooking time a bit because of the temperature drop
Yeah, I did extend it a couple of minutes. Also, it was al forno; after the pasta was cooked and the sauce was mixed in, I put it in a baking pan, sprinkled on the bread crumbs and a little paprika, then popped the whole thing in the oven for about half an hour. Even if the pasta wasn't quite fully cooked in the (almost) boiling water, it absorbed enough water to finish cooking in the oven.
That's a shitton of pasta to cook at one time.
Yeah. It turned out to be almost twice what my colander can hold. I had to drain it in batches. (It was also the first time I'd used my big stock pot since the last time I made soup for a family of four.) If I do it again, I'll only cook 3 pounds of pasta, instead of 4, to get the pasta/sauce ratio a little better. Also, I realized late last night (too late to bother correcting my post) that the blocks of cheddar cheese I used are only a half-pound each, not a full pound (duh, I knew that; they're the same blocks of cheddar I buy almost every week, because the store I shop at doesn't carry extra-sharp in full-pound blocks), so I only had 1.5 pounds of cheese, not 2.5, but that's as much as my sauce pan can hold, so rather than increasing the sauce to match the pasta, I need to reduce the pasta to match the sauce. I do have a bigger pot I could use for the sauce, but it's not a "sauce pan".
Every time I type the phrase "pounds of", my phone is suggesting "weed" as the next word. Huh? Probably because I mentioned my stock pot earlier.
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@kazitor said in The Cooking Thread:
And now I feel sickâŚ
(also the meringue doesnât hold up too well once the cream is added, so eat relatively quicklyâŚ)I just watched an Australian cooking show and the audience cheered when the chef made meringue.
I was surprised...usually Australians boo meringue.
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@boomzilla said in The Cooking Thread:
Australians boo meringue.
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@HardwareGeek said in The Cooking Thread:
I realized late last night (too late to bother correcting my post) that the blocks of cheddar cheese I used are only a half-pound each, not a full pound
Making fudge, huh?
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The weekend before last (I've been meaning to write this up but ) made a roast of shoulder of hogget. Now hogget is unusual in modern farming practice, as it is a sheep that is intermediate in age between lamb and adult â most animals are killed young except those that are kept for wool or breeding and who end up a lot older and tougherâ it has most of the taste of mutton with most of the tenderness of lamb. It's also really inclined to be fatty, so one of the aims of the cook was to make that all cook out and leave things lean enough to enjoy.
We slow roasted it (almost pot roast) over a bed of mixed winter vegetables for a long time, then took it off and let the meat rest while we got rid of the fat and blended the vegetables to make a sauce. The meat was so soft and tender it only just possible to carve it at all. Lovely.
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Lasagna:
~2.5 boxes (25 oz., 700 g) oven-ready gluten-free lasagna
6 jars (144 oz., 4 kg total) sauce
60 oz. (1.7 kg) ricotta cheese
~4 lbs. (1.8 kg) Italian sausage (I cooked 5 lbs., but only used 4-ish)
2â3 oz. (60â80 g) freshly grated Parmesan cheese
Edit: 1 lb. (453.5 g) provolone cheeseIf I mathed correctly, that adds up to almost 20 lbs. (9 kg) of lasagna. I may have overdone it, again. Edit: The provolone puts it over 20 lbs. Edit_2: My oven rack really doesn't like sliding with that much weight on it.
Edit_3:
Edit_4: I ate too much. Bleh.