The bad jokes topic 🐴🍹👨
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I just found it an unusual turn of phrase, in both contexts. I'm sticking with my theory.
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I just found it an unusual turn of phrase, in both contexts.
Have you never heard the phrases "Well hung" or "Hung like a horse"? Those should at least give you an idea of the direction of the joke.
While I'm here:
2 friends greet each other:
- How's it hanging?
- Low and to the left.
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I was ing until I read his name. Then I realized i was the one wooshing.
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The rule of states that any unsepcified "it" in a sentence refers to a penis, that's why "how's it hanging" works. If you were to greet someone with "how are you hanging" I think the reaction would be more: , hence my response above.
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Background:
I like to tease my children about being assigned busy work as homework, as in "So, tonight, do you have to write out in longhand, Volume 'B' of the Encyclopedia?"Dumb joke:
IJIJ "Greetings, Youngest Spawn"YS: "Greetings, Noble Father"
IJIJ: "What onerous, soul-crushing task has the Enslaver given you this night...?"
"...Are you to enscribe The Code of Hammurabi in Cuneiform??"YS: "No, Dad, we don't use clay tablets anymore... they've got this new, cheap papyrus-knock-off...you know, paper?"
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The rule of states that any unsepcified "it" in a sentence refers to a penis
Not if interpreting "it" as something else is funnier…
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Have you never heard the phrases "Well hung" or "Hung like a horse"? Those should at least give you an idea of the direction of the joke.
I thought it was referring to the removal of the two hanging things.
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I assumed that he got left tied up somewhere (in the original joke, not what @abarker said). I think we can all agree that it was posted in the right topic.
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Edit: Replacing with locally hosted image since some can't see the original.
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From Facebook:
You can't run through a campground, you can only ran - because it's past tents!
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Pagin @groaner
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yes. having to page in Groaner is a strong indication. ;-)
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yes. having to page in Groaner is a strong indication. ;-)
Ok - I was just confused by the response - I'd expect a joke that elicited a groan to just get a like, not a full on reply.
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Ok - I was just confused by the response -
that keeps happening around me.... I'm not sure if that's because i'm going it epically wrong or epically right....
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@rad131304 said:
Ok - I was just confused by the response -
that keeps happening around me.... I'm not sure if that's because i'm going it epically wrong or epically right....
all of the above?
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i can live with that. ;-)
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I assumed that he got left tied up somewhere (in the original joke, not what @abarker said). I think we can all agree that it was posted in the right topic.
I have the impression...I am thinking...this seems to me like a whoosh.
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It certainly felt like one. I was trying really hard to make it a little bit funny. Maybe too hard. The obvious line that @abarker posted was obvious and didn't really make sense in the joke.
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Reminds me of this one (paraphrased):
Old man hears some noise in the shack outside. Turns out to be 2 burglars cleaning out the place. So he calls the police, 911:
OM: Burglars are stealing my stuff!
911: We can't spare anyone, it'll be at least an hour. Sorry. hangs upSo the old man waits a minute, then calls back:
OM: Never mind the police, I shot them myself. Take your time. hangs up3 minutes later, 4 squad cars, an ambulance, and a SWAT team arrive, catching the burglars in the act and hauled them away.
One officer went up to the old man and said:
Officer: I thought you said you shot the burglars?!
OM: I thought you said you couldn't spare anyone?!Moral: never mess with an old man.
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A woman walks into a bar.
"Bartender, give me an entendre. And make it a double!"
"Oh, so you want a big one, huh?"
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A pharmaceutical truck full of Viagra was stolen today.
Police have asked the public to be on the lookout for a gang of hardened criminals.
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Why are there no aspirin in the jungle?
Paracetamol.
[spoiler](parrots ate them all)[/spoiler]
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Why are there no aspirin in the jungle?Paracetamol.(parrots ate them all)
That doesn't work in the US. An equivalent pun along the lines of "ass eat 'em in a fen" is left as an exercise for the reader.
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That doesn't work in the US.
Kinda, but not very well. I don't recognize the name Paracetamol, but the general meaning is not too hard to infer from the context. I got the "ate (or eat) 'em all" part, but "parac(e)" "parrots" stretched the pun past the breaking point.
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That doesn't work in the US.
Which just makes it a better fit for this thread though, right?
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My grandfather was a baker for the army.
When he went to war, he went in all buns glazing.
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...that 'e' in Parac[b]e[/b]temol is pronounced "eh" to someone? I got "eat em all" from etamol, but "Ate" is a stretch to my ear.
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At least it's not Parasitemol.
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that 'e' in Paracetemol is pronounced "eh" to someone?
I have heard that shorte
in the word before, and some British accents do pronounceate
asett
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some British accents do pronounce ate as ett
Ah, that's the bit I was forgetting that makes it make sense again. Thanks :)
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At least it's not Parasitemol.
Perhaps it works better as a Pokemon joke: Paras et 'em all.
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A woman goes to the gynecologist.
"I'm afraid you'll have to stop masturbating", says the gyno.
"Why is that so, doctor?", asks the patient, starting to feel a bit uneasy.
"Well, for one thing it'll be easier to examine you without your hands in the way".
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Perhaps it works better as a Pokemon joke: Paras et 'em all.
It probably does, although I would have completely whooshed. I belong to a pre-Pokémon generation; I've never played it (but I do know how to spell it correctly).
Or maybe Paris ate 'em all.
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Or maybe [Tom] Paris ate 'em all.
Not even in my top three references for that name. (1) The city. (2) The Iliad hero. (3) The Hilton chick.
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So this just happened IRL...
My girlfriend is cooking buffalo wings, but she can't find her recipe for the sauce.
"Eh," she says, "I'll just wing it."
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Grandpa was on the porch in his favorite rocker, just rocking slowly away, when all of a sudden a big smile spread across his face.
His granddaughter, who was sitting next to the steps, saw this, and asked sternly, "Grandpa, are you entertaining those evil thoughts again?"
"No," he said slowly, "I'm letting them entertain me."
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Works better with UK pronunciation, obviously ;)
I guess so. As a yank, I don't get it at all. Care to explain?Edit: Ma' head wasn't working right.
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Tomatoes = To ma (my) toes
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The jester boasted, "I can make a pun on any subject."
"What about the king?" yelled a heckler.
"The king is not a subject." replied the jester.
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A yellow giant captured the princess. The king sent his knight to rescue her. This big giant hand came out and grabbed the knight.
The king then sent his squire to rescue the princess. The big giant hand came and grabbed the squire, and then that was the end of him also.
Without his knight or his squire, the king then sent his page to rescue the princess. The page got the princess, and they both returned safely to the castle.
The moral of the story is: Let your pages do the walking through the yellow fingers.
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You have to be a yank over 50 to get that one.
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Let your pages do the walking through the yellow fingers.
Let your fingers do the walking through the yellow pages.
Is that about right?
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>Let your pages do the walking through the yellow fingers.
Let your fingers do the walking through the yellow pages.
Is that about right?
Yes, in the '60's it was a jingle.
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I've just fallen through the roof of a French bakery.
I'm in a world of pain.
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And no Yellow Pages discussion would be complete without this gem:
And for once, an apparently genuine thing that happened.