๐ The synergistic thread of data-driven agile community-based buzzwords leveraged to present a business and personal advantage
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Some of the ones I changed when my kids were little were rather deadly.
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Sitting in a meeting with our account manager and the client discussing a data import, the account manager actually consistently referred to the data for import as "the Updata".
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For bonus points if it wasn't clear, Pampers is a brand of diaper in the UK...
Same here, but "pampers" (non-capitalized) is used to refer to diapers in general.
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Upsert
I don't know what it is, but it makes me upsert.Except towards Linux
or torvalds linus.I've decided: Fixture is a meaningless word.
And I've decided that I absolutely will name something Fixture just for joke's sake. Such as my next dog.On the other hand, I read this in a keyboard player's forum:
[quote=PianoMan51][quote=DulceLabs.com][quote=marczellm][quote=PianoMan51][quote=RudyS]
(original news article about a synth company having a part handmade by a local 80 year old man)Ha. Cool!
Why wouldn't they automate the process? [/quote]
Because paying an old local craftsman to hand-make a visible wooden control stick differentiates their product and symbolizes a set of corporate values that pro keys players can appreciate. [/quote]The only word missing from that sentence is "synergy". [/quote]...and "paradigm shift" :laugh: [/quote]
Yes, there is someone on the forum with a BA in Music and a Masters in Business Administration. I wrote the description above in 'business speak' because that's how we think about these things. They are only buzz-words to people who don't.
When I talk about music I use 'music speak' which often get the same 'ha-ha' reaction from:
wait for it:
Guitar players. [/quote]
So I reckon biz-speak actually mean something to biz-people.
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Sometimes it does and sometimes it doesn't.
That sentence was pretty intelligible, all things considered. Differentiation is a key part of controlling market share, and corporate values are an easy PR boost. shrugs It's no different to marketing people than for them to listen to us talk about git pulls and whatnot.
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git pulls
Damnit! I read that as โpit bullsโ and wondered what this has to do with this site.
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Oh come on. Like you never talk about committing science.
Or was it not invented back when you were in school?
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Like you never talk about committing science.
Committing knowledge? No.
Or was it not invented back when you were in school?
I hope not.
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https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GyV_UG60dD4
Filed under: I wonder what Stephen Stills thinks of this...
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The product is actually pretty cool, but look at that description:
Revolutionary pool table adjusts at the speed of light to offset any ship motion and maintain a stable playing surface!
The ordinary looking pool table you see before you is not what it appears, but rather it is a living entity. It employs state-of-the-art technology that allows a delicate balancing of the massive table surface, independent of the base, on a single, centrally located, universal ball bearing the size of a grape. Two gravity sensors act as the Electronic Eyes constantly monitoring real-time information and the pitch and roll of the ship.
The sensors relay this information to the Brain; a sophisticated computer that dynamically calculates counter movements necessary to keep the table in a precise position at all times. At the speed of light, this information is relayed to a control system for electric motors operating two servo-mechanical linear actuator arms. The Actuator Arms manipulate the tabletop to keep it on a level plane, perpendicular to the earthโs center, offsetting the shipโs forces.
The Brain? Electronic Eyes? Are these guys from the 1920s? And I'm pretty sure it doesn't move anywhere close to the speed of light.
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When you think about what it really is, it's way more awesome. It's a civilian adaptation of self leveling naval gun platforms.
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Two gravity sensors act as the Electronic Eyes
The Electronic Inner Ears, surely?
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And I'm pretty sure it doesn't move anywhere close to the speed of light.
Reading comprehension for the lose:
At the speed of light, this information is relayed to a control system for electric motors
Information moves at near-lightspeed through fiberoptic cables. The motors are significantly slower.
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It's not just the information that was claimed to move at the speed of light:
@anonymous234 said:Revolutionary pool table adjusts at the speed of light to offset any ship motion and maintain a stable playing surface!
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Ah, fair enough. I need more tea after all.
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I heard ActionTea is good.
Although I heard it from the sales guy of that company so they might have been a bit biased.
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It would have been cheaper to put the table on an actual gyroscope. It would have weighed like 4 tons. But cheaper.
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I wonder if you could make a version of pool that used gyroscopes instead of balls. I'd play that at least once.
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I wonder if you could make a version of pool that used gyroscopes instead of balls.
Used them for what?
Gyroscopes don't roll. That's kind of the only purpose of them existing.
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Gyroscopes don't roll.
Yeah, but they could bounce.
EDIT: If the table was slippery enough, and you put rubber around the edges of the gyroscopes, you could probably get some approximation of real pool. Actually, now I think about it, this is the Discourse version of pool. Nevermind...
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Or you could use discs.
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Like Carrom?
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Not familiar with that game, but it seems to be similar to checkers in that the discs are placed. The picture I posted is of a 'sjoelbak' (no clue on if there's an english name) where the discs are shoved.
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a 'sjoelbak' (no clue on if there's an english name)
According to Wikipedia, it's table shuffleboard.
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inb4
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Was listening to a video about our company's vision for the new year, when I heard this:
...customer intimacy, industry domain thought leadership, and nimble innovation...
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...customer intimacy...
Feeling up clients in the elevator.
...industry domain thought leadership...
Uh, mind control?
...nimble innovation...
Yeah, I have no idea what this is.
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Nimble innovation is the 2016 buzzwordy version of agile.
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@Magus said:
...customer intimacy...
Feeling up clients in the elevator.
...industry domain thought leadership...
Uh, mind control?
...nimble innovation...
Yeah, I have no idea what this is.
Nimble innovation is the 2016 buzzwordy version of agile.
Exactly my thoughts.
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@tar said:
Feeling up clients in the elevator.
Ooooh ... Are there open positions?
Yes. Their clients look like this:
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I hope that tattoo says "HUG LIFE"
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Why are you posting pictures of @obeselymorbid ?
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Did someone leak my photos?
Nah, that's not me - I know how to wear underwear properly - it shouldn't be visible over your jeans and the extra pair on the forehead is not necessary at all.
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I know how to wear underwear properly - it shouldn't be visible
over your jeansunder your stomach and the extra pair on the forehead is not necessary at all.FTFYA
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I wouldn't really know - I don't see anything below my stomach.
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Weird Al nails it again, apart from leaving out "world's best practice" and "continuous improvement".
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Apologies for the necro, but...
I just found out that "jellyfish" is apparently a buzzword. I saw it in the sources to the Sans Bullshit Sans font (which I wholeheartedly recommend everyone installs and sets up a custom CSS for their company's "collaboration platform" if they have one - it's amazing). I also tried googling it and this page agrees.
I've never heard of it, though. What is jellyfish supposed to mean in bullshit?
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@blek said in ๐ The synergistic thread of data-driven agile community-based buzzwords leveraged to present a business and personal advantage:
which I wholeheartedly recommend everyone installs and sets up a custom CSS for their company's "collaboration platform" if they have one - it's amazing
Could be better; it lacks โknowledgeeringโโฆ
Actually, I'm happy that there are depths we've not plumbed so far.
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@dkf Yeah, some stuff is missing, and some of the terms shouldn't really be there (like "user" - I mean, come on). Source is available though, so you can make adjustments as you see fit.
Knowledgeering?! Jesus fuck!
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Blockchain
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@JazzyJosh have we mentioned machine learning
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@blek said in ๐ The synergistic thread of data-driven agile community-based buzzwords leveraged to present a business and personal advantage:
Knowledgeering?! Jesus fuck!
OK, I made that one up today. But it'd totally fit with how some people mangle language for real.
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@dkf said in ๐ The synergistic thread of data-driven agile community-based buzzwords leveraged to present a business and personal advantage:
@blek said in ๐ The synergistic thread of data-driven agile community-based buzzwords leveraged to present a business and personal advantage:
Knowledgeering?! Jesus fuck!
OK, I made that one up today. But it'd totally fit with how some people mangle language for real.
No shit: https://what.thedailywtf.com/topic/19872/siemens-healthineers
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I heard someone say something along the lines of 'activationalizing' that wasn't it, but like... something on that level.
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Brexposure
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Pokรฉconomy
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@JazzyJosh look @accalia, we found another fbmac alt