The Official First World Problems Thread™
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Their first FWP:
More than 30 asylum seekers refused to get off a bus that took them to temporary accommodation at a holiday park on Sunday night because they didn't want to stay in such a rural location, Sweden's Migration Board has told The Local.
"Look, you ingrates, you can get off here, or you can get off at the next stop, but the next stop is back in Syria."
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Dude, concentration camps are put in rural areas. JUST SAYIN'.
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I don't follow Swedish news much
Neither do I, but I think I would have stumbled upon that news nevertheless.
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Dude, concentration camps are put in rural areas. JUST SAYIN'.
The French banlieus, where they've been shoving all their Muslim immigrants for decades, are suburbs/outer-city.
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The French banlieus, where they've been shoving all their Muslim immigrants for decades, are suburbs/outer-city.
That's because everyone knows the suburbs are the best place for a
barcarbeque.
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Ok?
Did you have a point of some sort, or...?
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Filed under: Special snowflake
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It took me a moment to realise that the notice was talking about American Smarties (sugar/dextrose tablet candy) rather than UK Smarties (candy-coated chocolate, which definitely contain dairy).
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Ferraris:
http://blogs.msdn.com/b/oldnewthing/archive/2010/06/30/10031848.aspxBack in the crazy dot-com boom days, I knew someone who was into high-performance automobiles. And since these were the crazy dot-com boom days, he had the money to satisfy his urge to drive high-performance automobiles. He bought a used Ferrari, but found that it spent more time in the repair shop than on the road. To solve this problem, he bought a second Ferrari. (Note: This is not a solution available to most people.)
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I've had something similar. I run a haunted house-- we convert my father-in-law's lawn and garage into a walkthrough attraction.
"Is this scary?"
"Yes"
"Will my kid be scared?"
"Maybe."
"Will you make it less scary for him?"
"No."
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How scary is your father in law? Isn't that a bit harsh on him?
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That episode of The Venture Brothers where he's being followed around by the Japanese ghost is the best. IIRC it's also the one that introduced the extraordinarily lame Venture-brand car from the 1960s, and the villain Henry Killenger.
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What a douchebag. Plus, at least half of those suggestion suck shit. Here's a better idea: people who bred defective children should carry a sign, and families can stock up on gifts like Brillo pads for them. When you give a peanut-allergic kid his Brillo pad, be sure to tell him it's his parents' fault for having defective genes.
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Or here's a thought: maybe, if you know your kid has severe allergies, and you want to let him go trick-or-treating anyway, maybe you should actually do your job as a parent and make sure he's mentally prepared for the fact that most of the stuff he's given will be things he can't eat.
If you want to be a really good parent and devote the five seconds of thought that it took me to come up with this idea (but five seconds is a lot; I understand if you don't), then make an agreement with him that when he comes back you'll do a trade with him, in which you acquire any candy he's collected that he can't eat, in exchange for an equal quantity of stuff he can eat.
You're doubtless buying that stuff anyway, so you just have to buy a bit more before Halloween; this is probably even easier than making and distributing giant signs that you hope everyone will read, remember, and act on.
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However it's nowhere near as passive-aggressive, in-your-face, look-at-me-I'm-special, how-dare-you-not-bend-my-way as putting up signs and complaining to people.
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If you want to be a really good parent and devote the five seconds of thought that it took me to come up with this idea (but five seconds is a lot; I understand if you don't), then make an agreement with him that when he comes back you'll do a trade with him, in which you acquire any candy he's collected that he can't eat, in exchange for an equal quantity of stuff he can eat.
This.
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you'll do a trade with him
No matter if the kid can eat it or not, they's not going to trade candy for carrots. If they do, you've got a bigger problem than the allergies.
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You're doubtless buying that stuff anyway, so you just have to buy a bit more before Halloween; this is probably even easier than making and distributing giant signs that you hope everyone will read, remember, and act on.
Especially since the most likely act will be to start hating you.
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This. My brother was allergic to peanuts and I wasn't, so every year between my parents and me we traded all his nut products for non-nut products. Granted, he's not one of those who is super sensitive to them, so he could handle the wrapped candies without swelling up, but still, it wasn't that hard to work out.
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Well that explains the weird toy and the ambulance!
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maybe you should actually do your job as a parent and
... and get your kid actually tested for the allergy instead of just assuming he has Special Snowflake Syndrome, and perhaps see an actual medical professional to see if exposure therapy for desensitizing / training the immune system is a better option that avoiding the offending proteins completely.
"I once got itchy after eating french fries, so I know for sure I'm allergic to starch"
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The plugin that restores paging, and then silently uninstalls Discourse and replaces it with an instance of phpBB.
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Breakdown of gamers reading that comic:
- 50% don't get past the first panel, after masturbating to a cartoon butt
- 30% don't make it past the upper portion of the second panel, after masturbating to the guy's game collection
- 15% don't make it past the upper portion of the second panel, because they get involved with a 1000-page long argument thread about which games are actually in that collection
- 4% start a flamewar about how this comic is sexist and offensive to straight, white males
- 1%* are women
* note: the above has a margin of error of +/- 1%
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@Lorne_Kates said:
- 50% don't get past the first panel, after masturbating to a cartoon butt
@Lorne_Kates said:
- 1%* are women
And I suppose you think those are exclusive groups?
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Why would anyone masturbate to a butt
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475 litres of wine?
...
I-- I have a LOT of drinking and masturbating to do.
Filed under: Don't worry. I'll return the barrel full
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@Lorne_Kates said:
Filed under: Don't worry. I'll return the barrel full
You can keep it as far as I'm concerned. Really. It's ok...
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You can keep it as far as I'm concerned. Really. It's oak...
FTFY.
I'll show myself out...
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I'll
show myselfmake like a tree and get out...FTFY
Filed under: I donated to the fund for those injured by horrible jokes right after writing this post
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I am sick and tired of this War on Christmas. It seems like you can't even celebrate Christmas anymore because of these bleeding-heart PC liberals.
{turns to Camera 2, changes tie from red to blue, parts hair the other way}
I am sick and tired of Christmas being everywhere. It seems like you can't even celebrate Halloween anymore before Christmas trees, lights, Nativity scenes, decorations, posters, sales, and parties have already started, because of these Christ-pushing red-state conservatives.
{turns to Camera 3, changes tie to bowtie, puts on fedora}
I am sick and tired of arguments over Christmas. Um, actually, Jesus was brown, Christmas is on a made up day to oppress Pagans, and everything "traditional" is just bullshit made up by Coca-Cola marketing in the 1900s-- all thanks to these sheeple blindly shoveling corn syrup and tortured birds into their maws and being good little consumers.
{changes to regular clothes, turns to web cam}
It's the holiday pledge drive on GoFundMe. Fuck you. Give me money. ho ho ho.
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All Christmas BS should start on a date the church uses:
NOT IN BELGIUMING SEPTEMBER, FFS.
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The most annoying thing is they start all the hubbub that early and they are still 4 days late every damned year!
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NOT IN BELGIUMING SEPTEMBER, FFS.
Dang. I think Walmart here has put out the Christmas decoration section, which takes over the inside part of the garden / outdoors section, so it's not so bad. Also, we're still working up to Thanksgiving around here.
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Also, we're still working up to Thanksgiving around here.
That acts as a major brake on the Xmas BS over there. Here, there's nothing. I saw the first decorations going up in October.
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I saw halloween stuff at a walmart 2-3 months ago. I don't really get it.