How To Demoralize Employees: A DIY Guide for Terrible Companies
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We had someone leave their computer unlocked 5 minutes after a pre ISO security audit where everyone was reminded always to win+L when so much as turning their chair around.
The CTO spotted it and sent out an email to all the developers along the lines of "I have been a naughty boy and left my computer unlocked"
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If this is something you're realistically worried about, you have bigger problems than screen locking.
Like that weird red cat in HR.
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Am I the only one to whom messing with another person's unlocked desktop "to teach them a lesson" seems unreasonable?
So I went to bathroom and left my PC unlocked. I also left my wallet and keys and who knows what else. So what? When I get back, should I expect all my money strewn on the floor and my keys hung from the ceiling? Because I didn't secure my possessions from my colleagues? And if not, why should my computer be an exception?
Just seems childish. That's not how grownup society should work.
We had a guy who finally got the message about locking his PC after a dozen or so prank emails.
He still leaves his jacket on the back of his chair though so I shit in the pocket.
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Once you're there, you might as well organize things on their desk and separate small bills from large bills in their wallet too. What's the big deal? You're only being helpful.
...and, yea, I thought you might need some change for that $100, and the 7-11 doesn't like to just make change, so I bought some stuff, but you can't eat all that at once, so we're sharing this coffee and some Cheetos. THX.
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Am I the only one to whom messing with another person's unlocked desktop "to teach them a lesson" seems unreasonable?
And it seems more reasonable some how if it's just a prank?
People leave their computers unlocked with all manner of information available that other people shouldn't see and applications open that allow real damage to be caused to Production. The likelihood of anything malicious happening is pretty slim, but it's a risk that's sometimes best avoided.
I do tend to just lock their computer these days.
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And it seems more reasonable some how if it's just a prank?
Yes. It's the difference between "Let's sign cartman up for this pyramid scheme thing because he ranted about it. Ha ha! Funny." and "I signed you up for this seminar that changed my life, you HAVE to go, you'll thank me later!".
Prank for prank's sake = ok if it's funny, don't overdo it
Prank as a way to nag you into accepting my philosophy / religion = NOT ok.
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No, I'm with you 100%. Just don't touch other people's shit.
If you MUST do something, hit Windows-L, then write a little post-it saying "remember to lock your PC." There, done.
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http://blog.codinghorror.com/dont-forget-to-lock-your-computer/
Filed Under: And we trust this guy with our forums?, we need a new tag cloud to attack
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The CTO spotted it and sent out an email to all the developers along the lines of "I have been a naughty boy and left my computer unlocked"
Meanwhile, that developer is in the parking lot crying because he just got the call that his grandma has died and that's why he rushed away from his desk, and now don't you feel like an ass.
Seriously. Just don't fuck with people's shit. You don't know why the desktop is unlocked. It's not that big a deal.
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If you MUST do something, hit Windows-L, then write a little post-it saying "remember to lock your PC." There, done.
"Hmm, Windows-L... What's that? Some kind of quick post-it note utility I didn't know about? ...(type)... Nope. That's the lock screen shortcut".
That's how often I lock my screen.
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Prank as a way to nag you into accepting
my philosophy / religion = NOT ok.company policy.
FTFY.EDIT- As I said, I do just lock their computers these days.
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And if not, why should my computer be an exception?
Shit like SOX. Companies are paranoid because some random person could come along with a flash drive and steal company secrets.
Oh, I know, they've probably seen too many James Bond movies, but it probably happened once or twice in real life and now people are paranoid because the regulators have no sense of humor or proportion about this.
Hell, the company where this happened was sold to a non-American company (as opposed to an American one; the parent was looking to get rid of it for no good reason I ever heard of) specifically to get out from under SOX.
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If I see a coworker forgot to lock his PC I simply lock it for him. I know, I'm a terrible person.
That's the nice-person version of the same thing. The emails are, admittedly, the asshole "reminder" not to leave it unlocked again.
And assholish as it is, it works.
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How the hell did I write this and not "closet of".
I did wonder what that was supposed to mean.
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Hmm, Windows-L... What's that? Some kind of quick post-it note utility I didn't know about?
Wasn't that Windows-F4?
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WIN+D then ALT+F4
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Nah, too obvious. Though if you can get them to post the following in a command line:
rundll32.exe user,ExitWindows
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Oh man. Now that we're actually doing work, I'm just having tons of conflicts with the "architect" on the project.
I had a nice, simple, procedural design. And he wanted to add a new class to it. And I'm like:
Ok, but if we add that class, we can no longer:
- Do this (atomic, from our perspective) operation in a single database transaction,
- Due to that, we open the possibility for having orphaned objects leftover after a failed DB operation
- Also, we're calling this thing a "hydrate" (the terminology around here for taking a code object and filling it with values from the database), but using this new design two of the "hydrate" operations now create new values in the DB
I was outvoted because my single procedure in a single class was "too complicated". The replacement is about 4 classes. 2 of which are going to have to be totally rewritten when we're reading records from the DB and need an actual "hydrate" process for that.
"Too complicated."
Blakeyrat [10:01 AM]:
That attitude really bugs me. How can removing an unnecessary class, that also makes error-checking more difficult, be considered "more complicated"
ProgrammerWhoGetsIt [10:02 AM]:
I agree. We'll see how it goes, make corrections as needed. If something gets to prod, well, it wouldn't be the first time
Blakeyrat [10:03 AM]:
It's not a matter of works or not works
Architect's idea works
It just makes everything more difficult and annoying.
Which seems to be the motto of Company: "everything's difficult and annoying!"
ProgrammerWhoGetsIt [10:03 AM]:
ha! That's totally correct
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Ok, but if we add that class, we can no longer:1) Do this (atomic, from our perspective) operation in a single database transaction,
Wat. What is this I don't even. Etc. etc.
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If you have a specific question, I can answer it to the extent anonymity allows.
But this might answer a lot of them: this process interacts with a shitty database made by a third-party company that we have no control over.
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shitty database
Nah, that's enough explanation.
I was actually expression shock/disbelief at the "we cannot do this in a single transaction." But I'm used to working with a language with pretty fine-grained transaction control.
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It's complicated because it involves change, rather than just leaving it alone.
Necessary risk, though, since you don't want crap code making your environment toxic.
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I have no idea what you are talking about.
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So I just got chewed-out for "butting heads" and removed from the project. This is now a livejournal of me being fired for the first time in my life.
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This is now a livejournal of me being fired for the first time in my life.
Now you don't have to waste any more time agonizing about whether you can get through the next four months! I'm not the cupcake fairy but here you go:
Also: "gloomy cupcakes" leads to some scary pictures.
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Wow, sorry to hear that. What kind of company fires someone for having a difference of opinion?
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Wow, sorry to hear that. What kind of company fires someone for having a difference of opinion?
The kind of company that thinks that employees should be mindless drones.
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...or the kind that is convinced it knows what it's doing, ignores all evidence to the contrary, and demonstrates that by firing people. I have a friend that's happened to.
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What kind of company doesn't have free coffee? What kind of company would cram an employee in half a cubicle?
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BTW, the guy who manages the group I'm in is out for the week, and the guy who is temporarily in charge of the group is manager of the guy I butted-heads with. I think that's a big part of the problem.
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What kind of company would cram an employee in half a cubicle?
I've probably mentioned this but I once quit working at a place primarily because of this. Well, it was the proximate cause, and the attitude that represented putting developers in a sea of those things right next to the call center for collections was the primary reason.
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Agreed. My current company doesn't have a lot of morale, but I have two tables and the caffeine is free.
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removed from the project...being fired for the first time in my life.
I understand you are doing a short term contact with them, but is the contract only for this one project or are they instead putting you somewhere else?
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Also: "gloomy cupcakes" leads to some scary pictures.
Immediately typed it into google.
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"15!...15!...15!"
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What kind of company doesn't have free coffee? What kind of company would cram an employee in half a cubicle?
Some pretty large ones. My friend recently quit his high-paying job at a very large company (you'd recognize the name) since they gave him half a desk space.
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In theory I'm going to another project. I'm guessing that my contract will be cut short, which I guess doesn't technically count as "fired" but it sure makes me feel crummy.
It all depends on what happens when I meet with my actual manager on monday.
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I'm sorry for you if you have to go looking for a replacement job right away, but I have a difficult time being sorry for you not being there any longer, if you know what I mean.
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In theory I'm going to another project. I'm guessing that my contract will be cut short, which I guess doesn't technically count as "fired" but it sure makes me feel crummy.
It all depends on what happens when I meet with my actual manager on monday.
It sucks but it'll suck less not to be being fucked over with the crazy shit they have been doing, right?
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As long as I'm not unemployed too long.
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Investigate unemployment ASAP, if you don't know you'll have a new job within, say, a week or so.
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I've been on unemployment before, when I was laid-off. Problem is, in my state, it's capped at like... a third of what I normally make.
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Is it really so difficult to find a programming job that you're forced to work for these fuckers and worry about unemployment? I would expect someone with your skills would be grabbed right away. We are currently turning business away because we can't find enough competent people to do the work.
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I've been on unemployment before, when I was laid-off. Problem is, in my state, it's capped at like... a third of what I normally make.
So? That's how it worked out the one time I was on it too. But in my case it meant that everything but rent was paid for, so I didn't have to worry about keeping the lights on or food in the refrigerator. In the worst case, it means you can handle a few extra weeks before finding your next job.
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What kind of company fires someone for having a difference of opinion?
Indeed. Surely as professionals it's our responsibility to give our professional opinion.
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Surely as professionals it's our responsibility to give our professional opinion.
True. But at some point it becomes obvious that they don't WANT your opinion, they want to do it their way. At that point, you can either give up or keep arguing.
Sometimes you choose the latter and they tell you they don't appreciate it by escorting you off the premises.