The Official Funny Stuff Thread™
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@Zecc Though for the average human, a sideways velocity of ~8 km/s is a bit hard to achieve by merely stumbling.
It would also necessitate the Earth to be perfectly round (and devoid of inopportune obstacles like houses) or you'll get some pretty
skidmarkscraters.
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Found on Facebook (I've never been married, so I can't speak from experience):
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@Benjamin-Hall I just now was forced to research some wedding quotes for a wedding gift and initially was rather partial to Socrates ("Either wed someone or don't, you'll regret it either way."), Kafka ("Love is as unproblematic as a car. The only problems arise from the drivers, the passengers and the roadways.") and Oscar Wilde ("Marriage is the attempt to be half as happy as a pair as you've been before on your own.")
I got the faint impression that they were not exactly the world's most renowned romanticists.
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@Rhywden said in The Official Funny Stuff Thread™:
@Benjamin-Hall I just now was forced to research some wedding quotes for a wedding gift and initially was rather partial to Socrates ("Either wed someone or don't, you'll regret it either way."), Kafka ("Love is as unproblematic as a car. The only problems arise from the drivers, the passengers and the roadways.") and Oscar Wilde ("Marriage is the attempt to be half as happy as a pair as you've been before on your own.")
I got the faint impression that they were not exactly the world's most renowned romanticists.
Like with comments/feedback generally, happy people aren't the ones commenting. And Oscar Wilde was gay (in an era when that wasn't ok), And Kafka never married (despite being engaged several times). So they might have a bit of a skewed perspective on marriage. Dunno about Socrates.
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@Benjamin-Hall said in The Official Funny Stuff Thread™:
Dunno about Socrates.
Well, let me tell you about Xanthippe.
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@Rhywden said in The Official Funny Stuff Thread™:
@Benjamin-Hall said in The Official Funny Stuff Thread™:
Dunno about Socrates.
Well, let me tell you about Xanthippe.
So one out of the three had actual first-hand experience. Not bad for commenters!
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@Benjamin-Hall Yeah, I then settled on Mark Twain who is probably a bit more agreeable on the subject.
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@Rhywden said in The Official Funny Stuff Thread™:
@Benjamin-Hall said in The Official Funny Stuff Thread™:
Dunno about Socrates.
Well, let me tell you about Xanthippe.
Socrates adds that he chose her precisely because of her argumentative spirit
I think she'd feel right at home over here. Socrates himself would too, for that matter.
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@Gąska said in The Official Funny Stuff Thread™:
@Rhywden said in The Official Funny Stuff Thread™:
@Benjamin-Hall said in The Official Funny Stuff Thread™:
Dunno about Socrates.
Well, let me tell you about Xanthippe.
Socrates adds that he chose her precisely because of her argumentative spirit
I think she'd feel right at home over here. Socrates himself would too, for that matter.
As would the Persians who (apocryphally?) argued the same topic both drunk and sober.
Not that we'd dismiss something because it doesn't make sense sober, just that the practice would fit the place.
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@Gąska said in The Official Funny Stuff Thread™:
@Rhywden said in The Official Funny Stuff Thread™:
@Benjamin-Hall said in The Official Funny Stuff Thread™:
Dunno about Socrates.
Well, let me tell you about Xanthippe.
Socrates adds that he chose her precisely because of her argumentative spirit
I think she'd feel right at home over here. Socrates himself would too, for that matter.
I think Diogenes would fit pretty well too.
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@Carnage said in The Official Funny Stuff Thread™:
@Gąska said in The Official Funny Stuff Thread™:
@Rhywden said in The Official Funny Stuff Thread™:
@Benjamin-Hall said in The Official Funny Stuff Thread™:
Dunno about Socrates.
Well, let me tell you about Xanthippe.
Socrates adds that he chose her precisely because of her argumentative spirit
I think she'd feel right at home over here. Socrates himself would too, for that matter.
I think Diogenes would fit pretty well too.
The original shitposter, as the internet has him.
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@topspin said in The Official Funny Stuff Thread™:
@Carnage said in The Official Funny Stuff Thread™:
@Gąska said in The Official Funny Stuff Thread™:
@Rhywden said in The Official Funny Stuff Thread™:
@Benjamin-Hall said in The Official Funny Stuff Thread™:
Dunno about Socrates.
Well, let me tell you about Xanthippe.
Socrates adds that he chose her precisely because of her argumentative spirit
I think she'd feel right at home over here. Socrates himself would too, for that matter.
I think Diogenes would fit pretty well too.
The original shitposter, as the internet has him.
He had some proper trolls during his time.
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@Carnage I don't think ancient Greeks knew what trolls are.
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@Rhywden said in The Official Funny Stuff Thread™:
@Benjamin-Hall I just now was forced to research some wedding quotes for a wedding gift and initially was rather partial to Socrates ("Either wed someone or don't, you'll regret it either way."), Kafka ("Love is as unproblematic as a car. The only problems arise from the drivers, the passengers and the roadways.") and Oscar Wilde ("Marriage is the attempt to be half as happy as a pair as you've been before on your own.")
How about Ambrose Bierce?
MARRIAGE, n. The state or condition of a community consisting of a master, a mistress and two slaves, making in all, two.
also:
LOVE, n. A temporary insanity curable by marriage.
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@Rhywden said in The Official Funny Stuff Thread™:
@Benjamin-Hall I just now was forced to research some wedding quotes
I quite like "marriage is solving together problems that you would never have had alone."
It's attributed to Sacha Guitry, who is more or less the French equivalent of Mark Twain i.e. a witty guy from the end of the 19th century/beginning 20th, to whom most humorous quotes are attributes when you don't know who actually said them.
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@Rhywden said in The Official Funny Stuff Thread™:
@Benjamin-Hall Yeah, I then settled on Mark Twain who is probably a bit more agreeable on the subject.
Is it weird that I can always remember Samuel Clemens but usually not Mark Twain?
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@error_bot xkcd serious putty
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@DoctorJones it's not stealing if your dog can't read.
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@topspin said in The Official Funny Stuff Thread™:
@Gąska said in The Official Funny Stuff Thread™:
@Rhywden said in The Official Funny Stuff Thread™:
@Benjamin-Hall said in The Official Funny Stuff Thread™:
Dunno about Socrates.
Well, let me tell you about Xanthippe.
Socrates adds that he chose her precisely because of her argumentative spirit
I think she'd feel right at home over here. Socrates himself would too, for that matter.
As would the Persians who (apocryphally?) argued the same topic both drunk and sober.
Not that we'd dismiss something because it doesn't make sense sober, just that the practice would fit the place.Did they call each other proper cunts or what?
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Lockdown has not been kind to Nyan Cat
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Funny or Nope?
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https://imgur.com/gallery/440SAvu
The comments are pure gold, as usual...
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(UK Government, don't know what other countries this works for...)
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@DoctorJones said in The Official Funny Stuff Thread™:
(UK Government, don't know what other countries this works for...)
According to our Infrastructures Minister, it's time to lift the cap on two thirds capacity from public transportation, because limiting the amount of people using them is useless, and no other country in Europe is doing it.
According to our Health Minister, we need to maintain our occupancy restrictions in public transportation, in line with what other European countries are doing.
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@Zecc said in The Official Funny Stuff Thread™:
no other country in Europe is doing it
We are in Europe and we are doing more than that - every second seat is marked as not available.
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@Zecc said in The Official Funny Stuff Thread™:
According to our Infrastructures Minister, it's time to lift the cap on two thirds capacity from public transportation, because limiting the amount of people using them is useless, and no other country in Europe is doing it.
Poland does. Although people are just ignoring it - does it still count then?
Edit: that's what I get for not reading posts in full.
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@obeselymorbid said in The Official Funny Stuff Thread™:
@Zecc said in The Official Funny Stuff Thread™:
no other country in Europe is doing it
We are in Europe and we are doing more than that - every second seat is marked as not available.
That reduces the number of seats, not the number of passengers, right? Or are people in your country not standing in buses?
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Sometimes, YT comments are actually good. Found this one under a video about Intel inventing a new way to screw their customers.
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@topspin said in The Official Funny Stuff Thread™:
It can shit one metric ton per day on the lawn near your favorite bathing spot.
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@Gąska said in The Official Funny Stuff Thread™:
@obeselymorbid said in The Official Funny Stuff Thread™:
@Zecc said in The Official Funny Stuff Thread™:
no other country in Europe is doing it
We are in Europe and we are doing more than that - every second seat is marked as not available.
That reduces the number of seats, not the number of passengers, right? Or are people in your country not standing in buses?
Minibuses weren't operating until July at all, supposedly because there's not a lot of space to begin with. They put articulated buses on all of the routes where smaller buses usually went and at first passenger flow dropped enough because of remote working that even standing passengers had a bit of room.
This is all as far as I know from news and my friends' experience of course, I use the bus about once in two years when the car is getting an oil change.