The Official Funny Stuff Thread™
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@dcon said in The Official Funny Stuff Thread™:
Hiring a senior backend engineer
This could mean something else in the context of dating apps
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@hungrier
Increasing the size of your payroll I see?
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@Luhmann It's a proven way to grow your staff
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I feel this should of had a Darwin award
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@DogsB said in The Official Funny Stuff Thread™:
I feel this should
ofhave had a Darwin awardAdmittedly sharks aren't excessively dangerous to humans – when they bite it's out of curiosity rather than hunger. If sharks actually attacked humans, there'd be no survivors.
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@kazitor said in The Official Funny Stuff Thread™:
@DogsB said in The Official Funny Stuff Thread™:
I feel this should
ofhave had a Darwin awardAdmittedly sharks aren't excessively dangerous to humans – when they bite it's out of curiosity rather than hunger. If sharks actually attacked humans, there'd be no survivors.
Sharks are why I don't surf. Though, I've read more Americans die from being buried in the sand than by sharks every year.
INB4: Yeah, sure....thaaat's why
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@Karla A shark bite is the exact same thing as a dog sniff - it's just trying to figure out what manner of thing you are. If you just hit it in the nose it'll fuck off real quickly.
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@pie_flavor said in The Official Funny Stuff Thread™:
A shark bite is the exact same thing as a dog sniff
I'll take the latter over the former every day of the week.
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@pie_flavor said in The Official Funny Stuff Thread™:
@Karla A shark bite is the exact same thing as a dog sniff - it's just trying to figure out what manner of thing you are. If you just hit it in the nose it'll fuck off real quickly.
I know. The dog sniff isn't going to accidentally remove any of my flesh.
And on land, I can defend myself better.
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@boomzilla said in The Official Funny Stuff Thread™:
As a former digger-of-holes, pruner-in-chief and puller-of-weeds for my (ex-)wife's rose garden (I think we had just over 100 when we sold the house), I must give you a +∞ for this.
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@HardwareGeek said in The Official Funny Stuff Thread™:
As a former digger-of-holes, pruner-in-chief and puller-of-weeds for my (ex-)wife's rose garden
Men would do almost anything to get laid
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@TimeBandit said in The Official Funny Stuff Thread™:
@HardwareGeek said in The Official Funny Stuff Thread™:
As a former digger-of-holes, pruner-in-chief and puller-of-weeds for my (ex-)wife's rose garden
Men would do almost anything to get laid
I'm not 100% sure but I think that's what he was describing already
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@pie_flavor said in The Official Funny Stuff Thread™:
@Karla A shark bite is the exact same thing as a dog sniff - it's just trying to figure out what manner of thing you are. If you just hit it in the nose it'll fuck off real quickly.
I know someone who claims to have punched a shark in the nose.
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@Gribnit said in The Official Funny Stuff Thread™:
@pie_flavor said in The Official Funny Stuff Thread™:
@Karla A shark bite is the exact same thing as a dog sniff - it's just trying to figure out what manner of thing you are. If you just hit it in the nose it'll fuck off real quickly.
I know someone who claims to have punched a shark in the nose.
That is supposed to be a way to ward off a shark. I'm not sure I would try if its mouth was open.
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@Karla said in The Official Funny Stuff Thread™:
I'm not sure I would try if its mouth was open.
You could just judo-chop it
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@TimeBandit said in The Official Funny Stuff Thread™:
@Karla said in The Official Funny Stuff Thread™:
I'm not sure I would try if its mouth was open.
You could just judo-chop it
Use mayonnaise-based sunscreen to fend them off.
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@topspin said in The Official Funny Stuff Thread™:
@TimeBandit said in The Official Funny Stuff Thread™:
@Karla said in The Official Funny Stuff Thread™:
I'm not sure I would try if its mouth was open.
You could just judo-chop it
Use mayonnaise-based sunscreen to fend them off.
That'll just attract sharks. Use cilantro, sharks hate that.
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@kazitor I think there was a study where fantasizing about your success can actually decrease your chances to succeed in a task because you become more complacent, whereas thinking about failing increases them.
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Good job, Wikipedia trolls:
Edit: Wait, nevermind. I can't English well I guess.
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@Tsaukpaetra add "s" and say in comment that it's typo fix - it's quite possible the change will remain unnoticed for some time
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's a funny pun.
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This one cuts a bit close to the bone:
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Filed under: Why report what the weather was like yesterday?
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@DogsB said in The Official Funny Stuff Thread™:
I feel this should of had a Darwin award
Since it was so small she could pull it alone, it wasn't dangerous, so no.
Only three or so largest species of sharks present any serious danger to humans.
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@Tsaukpaetra said in The Official Funny Stuff Thread™:
Filed under: Why report what the weather was like yesterday?
This is so that time travellers reading tomorrow's paper in advance (so they know what will happen today) also know what the weather will be today.
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@PleegWat said in The Official Funny Stuff Thread™:
will happen
will bewill have were have been
Filed under: Future Unconditional Frivolous Assumptive
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@Bulb said in The Official Funny Stuff Thread™:
@DogsB said in The Official Funny Stuff Thread™:
I feel this should of had a Darwin award
Since it was so small she could pull it alone, it wasn't dangerous, so no.
Only three or so largest species of sharks present any serious danger to humans.
And they can only be found in two places in the world: The northern and southern hemispheres
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@hungrier They are. But handling a small shark does not become dangerous just because large ones also, occasionally, appear in the area.
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@anonymous234 said in The Official Funny Stuff Thread™:
@kazitor I think there was a study where fantasizing about your success can actually decrease your chances to succeed in a task because you become more complacent, whereas thinking about failing increases them.
This sounds like a classic psychology study that cannot be reliably reproduced.
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@Polygeekery said in The Official Funny Stuff Thread™:
This one cuts a bit close to the bone:
I always wonder why my friends like me. I think I am an awful friend.
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@Karla said in The Official Funny Stuff Thread™:
@Polygeekery said in The Official Funny Stuff Thread™:
This one cuts a bit close to the bone:
I always wonder why my friends like me. I think I am an awful friend.
You have friends? You must be
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