Quick recruitment



  • In July 2012 I was looking for a job, and had used a very efficient recruitment firm to get me lots of interviews. They were quite good, and got me two or three interviews a day, and would call me every day or two for status updates. One of the first companies that showed interest in my resume was Matrix, which calls itself "the leading information technology company". I've had some dealings with them before, and I didn't really want to work for them, but everything has its price and I was willing to interview and make them an offer - I'd decided I'd probably accept around 28-30K ILS/month if it came with all the standard benefits and a company car, and if the offered position seemed right.

    Every time I talked to the recruiter, she'd ask: "Has Matrix contacted you yet?"
    "No," I'd respond, "I promise I'll let you know if they do. Perhaps you should talk to them yourself." And the recruiter did - a number of times - and they promised they'd contact me right away.

    Fast forward to March 2013, that's eight months later, and I get a call.
    "Hi, this is Alex from Matrix. We've received your resume from [recruitment firm] - we understand you're looking for a job?"
    "No, I was looking for a job eight months ago. In fact, I'm in the process of starting my own business so I'm not currently looking."
    "Oh, we get that a lot. But if you pass our interview process, we're willing to make you an offer you can't refuse."
    "Like I said I'm not interested. I just invested a large sum of money in creating a new company, I'm not going to ditch that no matter what your offer is."

    Alex continued to beg for me to at least listen to his offer - they were desperate for senior tech leads, even on a temporary basis, and perhaps we could come to some arrangement. Eventually, I conceded and allowed him to make an offer.

    He offered me 9,000 ILS/month, which is just under $30K/year. That's roughly what a beginner QA tester could expect to make, and less than what I made a decade ago when I was 17 and fresh out of high-school.



  • Always good to tell these cheap-ass companies that all they're going to get is monkeys if they're only paying peanuts.



  • @Nexzus said:

    they're only paying peanuts

    Unfortunately that colloquialism doesn't really translate. Also, I seriously doubt the problem is the company's pay grade. I think it was just an idiot HR person who thought he could offer me a very junior position without me noticing it.

    Of course TRWTF, which probably is the company's fault, is they took eight months to make first contact in a situation which is normally resolved within two or three weeks. Perhaps they're only looking for desperate people who've been looking for a job forever and thus are willing to take anything they're offered?



  • Of course TRWTF, which probably is the company's fault, is they took eight months to make first contact in a situation which is normally resolved within two or three weeks. Perhaps they're only looking for desperate people who've been looking for a job forever and thus are willing to take anything they're offered?



  • @configurator said:

    n fact, I'm in the process of starting my own business
     

    Can you post your company's website so we can check out* your work?

    * Meaning: mock your code, UI, layout, graphics, choices in framework and general worth as a human being



  • @Lorne Kates said:

    @configurator said:

    n fact, I'm in the process of starting my own business
     

    Can you post your company's website so we can check out* your work?

    * Meaning: mock your code, UI, layout, graphics, choices in framework and general worth as a human being

    Marvel at the beauty of my web design.

    Since it's in Hebrew, I'll translate all the text for you: "Opening May 2013". Tiny text in the corner says "waiters wanted". My new business is a restaurant.



  • @configurator said:

    Since it's in Hebrew, I'll translate all the text for you: "Opening May 2013". Tiny text in the corner says "waiters wanted". My new business is a restaurant.

    You realize of course that you left yourself open to people attempting to make jokes about opening the kind of restaurant you are in Israel.



  • @configurator said:

    Of course TRWTF, which probably is the company's fault, is they took eight months to make first contact in a situation which is normally resolved within two or three weeks.
     

    That, plus a recruitment consultant that kept pressing you to find out if they'd contacted you, but didn't really press Matrix to find out why they hadn't.

    @configurator said:

    "if you pass our interview process, we're willing to make you an offer you can't refuse."
     

    What was their response to you laughing hysterically at their non-refusable offer?

    @configurator said:

    Marvel at the beauty of my web design.

    That's not a website, that's an image!

    Good luck in your new business, anyhow. What's it about? You advertising Lowenbrau Bier?

     

     



  • @configurator said:

    Marvel at the beauty of my web design.
     

    HAHAHAHAAHH! YOU-- ah-- declared your doctype properly. I-- hmm, I've got nothing. Good job.

    @configurator said:

    Since it's in Hebrew, I'll translate all the text for you: "Opening May 2013". Tiny text in the corner says "waiters wanted". My new business is a restaurant.

    I like food. And I like making it. I approve.

    What kind of restaurant is it? Doing any interesting marketing? (like tweeting pics of the menu items as you test them?)

    Fair warning, though: If you one of "those" restaurant websites-- you know what I mean... flash, javascript animations, all the menu items on separate pages making it impossible to really browse what you have to offer-- if you do that, all bets are off.



  • @Lorne Kates said:

    Fair warning, though: If you one of "those" restaurant websites-- you know what I mean... flash, javascript animations, all the menu items on separate pages making it impossible to really browse what you have to offer-- if you do that, all bets are off.

    Don't forget the menu only available a downloadable .pdf



  • @Lorne Kates said:

    * Meaning: mock your code, UI, layout, graphics, choices in framework and general worth as a human being

    This is exactly why I will never post a link to any of the sites that I work on. It's not my fault, I swear [code][/code] but that doesn't change the fact that they are complete clusterfucks.



  • @configurator said:

    My new business is a restaurant.
     

    Well that caught me off-guard.

     

    Oh by the way, my sources tell me nobody in Israel speaks proper Hebrew and nobody can actually read their own bible. Can you confirm this?



  • @mikeTheLiar said:

    Don't forget the menu only available a downloadable .pdf

    I've found that with smart phones that doesn't really matter anymore. If it's properly formatted, I can zoom and scroll to my hearts content. Plus, it's saved so I can bring it up later if need be.

    I find scanned images much worse. Of course, if it's PDF of scanned images, I will avoid your restaurant out of spite.



  • @locallunatic said:

    You realize of course that you left yourself open to people attempting to make jokes about opening the kind of restaurant you are in Israel.

    That's alright, I've been getting them daily from suppliers. "Oh, it's a German restaurant? Then we won't give you our product. Ha ha ha!"

    @Cassidy said:

    What was their response to you laughing hysterically at their non-refusable offer?

    I didn't laugh hysterically, I was quite speechless. I then hung up.


    They didn't call again.

    @Cassidy said:

    That's not a website, that's an image!

    Indeed, that's how I "designed" the poster that we printed to stick on the windows. We'll have a more "proper" website soon enough.
    @Lorne Kates said:
    What kind of restaurant is it? Doing any interesting marketing? (like tweeting pics of the menu items as you test them?)

    That's a cool idea, we might try that! Of course, we have the problem that the most important dish, the Schnitzel, is a thoroughly unsexy food.

    @Lorne Kates said:

    one of "those" restaurant websites

    We were googling "bavarian brasserie" to find some inspiration, and come across this abomination. We will not be one of those.

    @mikeTheLiar said:

    Don't forget the menu only available a downloadable .pdf

    Happily, I can design stuff with HTML but not with any traditional design software. So we're stuck with plain-old-HTML for all our design needs. wkhtmltoimage has been invaluable lately.

    @dhromed said:

    Israel speaks proper Hebrew and nobody can actually read their own bible

    What we speak is closer to proper Hebrew than, say how what most Americans speak is close to proper English. However, the bible is written in a different language - Old Hebrew (a.k.a. Biblical Hebrew), which is more different to modern Hebrew than Old English is to English. And most of the bible is written in very poetic language, which is already harder to understand than the spoken language.


    Most people can't quite understand it perfectly, but are able to understand most. I'm a bit above average in that regards, and I understand what is written quite well - but that's not enough because there is far more unwritten than there is written.


    Also, some of the bible and accompanying text is written in Aramaic, and is completely indecipherable to the average Israeli.



  • @configurator said:

    Of course, we have the problem that the most important dish, the Schnitzel, is a thoroughly unsexy food.

    Unsexy as it may be, it is usually an incredibly delicious food.



  • @configurator said:

    We were googling "bavarian brasserie" to find some inspiration, and come across this abomination. We will not be one of those.
     

    2.7MB image, 1500px by 100px.

    Scaled down to 300px.

    Fuck.

    @configurator said:

    Of course, we have the problem that the most important dish, the Schnitzel, is a thoroughly unsexy food.

    Lay it out with some leafy greens, add a splash of red. Try to keep the puke yellow out of the picture. Use the right white lighting.

    Good:

    [img]http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/thumb/a/ae/Wiener-Schnitzel02.jpg/240px-Wiener-Schnitzel02.jpg[/img]

    Puke:

    [img]http://saltybittersweetmontreal.files.wordpress.com/2011/04/schntzel.jpg?w=480&h=372[/img]

    Horrific lighting:

    [img]http://2.bp.blogspot.com/_pwrKRcgY4w4/TOJmkSq_ihI/AAAAAAAAAh8/syQDUducE18/s1600/schnitzel.jpg[/img]

    Jesus fuck no:

    [img]http://saltybittersweetmontreal.files.wordpress.com/2011/10/schnitzel-dad.jpg?w=480&h=346[/img]



  • @Cassidy said:

    You advertising Lowenbrau Bier?

    You just confused the Bavarian coat of arms with the logo of one of the sh*ttiest breweries of Munich. As a Bavarian, I find this offensive.



  • @Lorne Kates said:

    If you one of "those" restaurant websites-- you know what I mean... flash, javascript animations, all the menu items on separate pages making it impossible to really browse what you have to offer-- if you do that, all bets are off.

    My favorite are the ones that forget to put the address on the page. Or, the super special ones you see sometimes that have a MAP but neglect the address.



  • @configurator said:

    proper English

    What is that? We don't have "language cops" like the French, so there is no such thing.

    @configurator said:

    And most of the bible is written in very poetic language, which is already harder to understand than the spoken language.

    Thus the reason nobody can figure out what the fuck Revelations is going on about.



  • @blakeyrat said:

    @configurator said:
    proper English

    What is that? We don't have "language cops" like the French, so there is no such thing.

    You haven't met my sister-in-law.



  • @dhromed said:

    @configurator said:

    My new business is a restaurant.
     

    Well that caught me off-guard.

     

    Oh by the way, my sources tell me nobody in Israel speaks proper Hebrew and nobody can actually read their own bible. Can you confirm this?

    There are hebrew bibles now?


  • Discourse touched me in a no-no place

    @configurator said:

    this abomination.
    That guy wearing the sorting hat doesn't look too happy...



  • @Ben L. said:

    There are hebrew bibles now?
     

    Who do you think wrote it?



  • @blakeyrat said:

    @configurator said:
    And most of the bible is written in very poetic language, which is already harder to understand than the spoken language.

    Thus the reason nobody can figure out what the fuck Revelations is going on about.

    No, that's due to the especially potent mushrooms found on Patmos.



  • @Ben L. said:

    There are [url=http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hebrew_Bible]hebrew bibles[/url] now?

    Heh heh, I have a vision of a 4th century Jewish uncle somewhere exclaiming "There are [url=http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/CHristian_Bible]christian bibles[/url] now?"


  • Discourse touched me in a no-no place

    @GoatRider said:

    @blakeyrat said:
    @configurator said:
    proper English
    What is that? We don't have "language cops" like the French, so there is no such thing.
    You haven't met my sister-in-law.
    That's because English uses more of a “language vigilante” approach.



  • @Hatshepsut said:

    No, that's due to the especially potent mushrooms found on Patmos.
     

    It's a-me, Jesus!



  • @configurator said:

    My new business is a restaurant.
    Q: whats the quickest way to make a million dollars in the restaurant business

    A: start with ten million



  • That's a cool idea, we might try that! Of course, we have the problem that the most important dish, the Schnitzel, is a thoroughly unsexy food.

    Dude, this thing is made to be eaten, not to make an intercourse with.

    The only problem I see with Schnitzel is that it is thoroughly [i]lo kosher[/i].



  • @esoterik said:

    @configurator said:
    My new business is a restaurant.
    Q: whats the quickest way to make a million dollars in the restaurant business

    A: start with ten million

    Before I was a programmer, I worked in the restaurant industry. Recently one of my co-workers says to me, "You know, we should open a restaurant." My reply? "No thanks, I'm not in the mood to set fire to a pile of money right now." Running a restaurant at all is fucking hard, running a profitable restaurant is nigh on impossible. 90% of all restaurants fail in the first year.



  • @Lorne Kates said:

    Jesus fuck no:


    The picture is shit, but out of all the pictures I'd actually like to eat that one the most.



  • [url=http://youtu.be/LGrlWOhtj3g?t=47s]Lews Black can explain it[/url]


  • Discourse touched me in a no-no place

    @mikeTheLiar said:

    Before I was a programmer, I worked in the restaurant industry.
    I used to work in McDonald's before I was a programmer too!



  • @PJH said:

    @mikeTheLiar said:
    Before I was a programmer, I worked in the restaurant industry.
    I used to work in McDonald's before I was a programmer too!

    Cute. Really. I was a cook in a four star hotel.



  • @mikeTheLiar said:

    @PJH said:
    @mikeTheLiar said:
    Before I was a programmer, I worked in the restaurant industry.
    I used to work in McDonald's before I was a programmer too!

    Cute. Really. I was a cook in a four star hotel.

     

    I think we both know who the jackass is here.



  • @dhromed said:

    @Ben L. said:
    There are hebrew bibles now?
    Who do you think wrote it?

    I assumed all religions were written by L. Ron Hubbard.

    He penned Christianity but then got out of the business when he couldn't wet his beak, so he invented a new religion based purely on giving him money in exchange for vaguely-defined superpowers.



  • @mikeTheLiar said:

    Cute. Really. I was a cook in a four star hotel.

    I love when people take this forum so seriously.

    It's cute. Really.



  • @blakeyrat said:

    @mikeTheLiar said:
    Cute. Really. I was a cook in a four star hotel.

    I love when people take this forum so seriously.

    It's cute. Really.

     

    I take it way more seriously than you.

     



  • @blakeyrat said:

    I love when people take this forum so seriously.

    It's cute. Really.

    I might (okay, am) be a little touchy about the subject. I worked my ass off, I was good at it, and I fucking hated every goddam second of it. But it paid the bills while I was in school.



  • @dhromed said:

    @mikeTheLiar said:

    @PJH said:
    @mikeTheLiar said:
    Before I was a programmer, I worked in the restaurant industry.
    I used to work in McDonald's before I was a programmer too!

    Cute. Really. I was a cook in a four star hotel.

     

    I think we both know who the jackass is here.

    You say that like you think there can only be one.



  • @Lorne Kates said:

    @blakeyrat said:

    @mikeTheLiar said:
    Cute. Really. I was a cook in a four star hotel.

    I love when people take this forum so seriously.

    It's cute. Really.

     

    I take it way more seriously than you.

     I suspect you take it more seriously than he takes himself.



  • @blakeyrat said:

    My favorite are the ones that forget to put the address on the page. Or, the super special ones you see sometimes that have a MAP but neglect the address.

    Don't forget the ones where the map looks like

    [IMG]http://i.imgur.com/Eljq1pQ.png[/IMG]

    Seriously, it's not that hard. Address, opening hours and a clear map (with an interactive version embedded or linked. Google maps works, but there's also Bing maps, Nokia Here, OpenStreetMap...) should be on the main page. Links to the menu, and maybe a photo gallery, and you have a good site.



  • @Lorne Kates said:

    @configurator said:

    We were googling "bavarian brasserie" to find some inspiration, and come across this abomination. We will not be one of those.
     

    2.7MB image, 1500px by 100px.

    Scaled down to 300px.

    Fuck.

     

    Hey at least the images scale down percentage wise when shrinking your browser window. Responsive design at its finest!

     



  • @spamcourt said:

    Seriously, it's not that hard. Address, opening hours and a clear map (with an interactive version embedded or linked. Google maps works, but there's also Bing maps, Nokia Here, OpenStreetMap...) should be on the main page. Links to the menu, and maybe a photo gallery, and you have a good site.
     

    With a section for holiday hours so people don't have to guess if you're open on a "soft" holiday like Easter Monday or not.

     



  • @configurator said:

    We were googling "bavarian brasserie"

    Did anyone else misread that as "bavarian brassiere" and figure that the link would be NSFW?

     



  • @Mason Wheeler said:

    @configurator said:

    We were googling "bavarian brasserie"

    Did anyone else misread that as "bavarian brassiere" and figure that the link would be NSFW?


    Indeed. I was quite disappointed.



  • @Lorne Kates said:

    With a section for holiday hours so people don't have to guess if you're open on a "soft" holiday like Easter Monday or not.
    From my (short) experience in Jerusalem, knowing the religious adherence of the owners was an important component in successfully navigating the maze of local businesses. Muslims would close shops on Fridays, Jews on Saturdays and Christians on Sundays.



  •  We have a lesser version of that here in Arizona.  Owner Mormon (even if the employees aren't), closed Sunday.  Owner anything else, open seven days a week.



  • @anonymous_guy said:

    You just confused the Bavarian coat of arms with the logo of one of the sh*ttiest breweries of Munich. As a Bavarian, I find this offensive.
     

    As a Limey, I found the same logo atop a beer tent in the midst of a Munich park last October, and on the front of a steiner. I also recall being offensive at the time, so there's clearly a correlation.

    @shimon said:

    Dude, this thing is made to be eaten, not to make an intercourse with.

    You float your boat, I'll float mine. 'kay?

    @mikeTheLiar said:

    I was a cook in a four star hotel.
     

    Not good enough to be a chef, then.

     

     



  • @Cassidy said:

    Not good enough to be a chef, then.


    @mikeTheLiar said:
    I worked my ass off, I was good at it, and I fucking hated every goddam second of it.

    Actually, they did offer me a chef's position, but I turned them down. I didn't want it, I knew that I was going to leave that industry the second I could. On top of that, it was a union hotel, and getting a promotion meant losing my union benefits and actually getting a cut in pay.


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