By the power of Grayskull! I have TRWTF!
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With the girlfriend out for the weekend, I spent the last night with my Gallifreyan boyfriend. He's a lot like 8 actually: long brown hair, soulful eyes and a lovely almost-RP-accent. Needless to say, since it was a Friday night I didn't watch the time. In a relationship with three it's a rare treat when you get to properly focus on just one person. When I finally got to bed at about 4 am, I fell asleep happy and contented. This was not to last long.
At just quarter past seven, my phone rang. Still high on my timelord-induced happy, I just told the iPhone to go into silent mode and not bother me with trivialities such as calls again. This, clearly, was my first mistake. I saw the phone flash a few more times, but turned over and wrapped myself into the duvet - nothing is real, strawberry fields.
Then, just a few minutes to 8 the doorbell rang. I knew I could not ignore that now. I quickly forced myself into yesterday's clothes - breakneck heels and white sheath dress - and answered. To my surprise it was my neighbour Andrea who knows full well I like to sleep in at the weekends and who would never bother me in such a manner. If she'd been the one with the emergency, she'd have just come in. She's got the keys to my house. When finally she opened her mouth I could not believe my ears: "Poet, there is someone from your work on the line for you. They could not reach you on your phone."
Well, duh. I don't do on-call service. I'm a senior software engineer not an IT monkey.
Grudgingly, I accepted the phone. A teary voice informed me that my computer was broken. This seemed borderline impossible. My machine is the company file server (just files, no network) and I take meticulous care of it. The whole reason my workstation is also the server is because my OCD is well documented. I remained calm. Fridays is when the cleaning lady comes in. She sometimes dislodges cables. But, first things first. Have you checked that both monitor and machine are switched on? I got a five minute tale of all the failed attempts. Panic is welling up inside of me. Could the updated graphics card driver have caused this? The possibility seems remote but the implication of the server being broken is catastrophic. I ask for the cables to be checked. Allegedly, they are all in place.
Not wanting to waste my time talking to morons, I brush my teeth, wash my face, put on too much perfume and race to the office, my trusty Irish setter dog in tow. Might as well walk her and have a long lie in after that. I get to the office, sit down at my desk, check the cables (all okay) and boot the server normally. It does not fail. It is not broken. I just switched on the screen.
I say hi to my dumb-assed colleague who made the phone call and to my utter dismay discover he is working with the laptop. Yes, that would be the laptop that has a local copy of all server data and synchronises every night. The very same I just checked was up to date yesterday! Couldn't have waited til 10am possibly, could it have?
To add insult to injury, dimwit had the gall to tell me that "I've got the power!" Amazing, ain't it. I am off to Grayskull now. Anyone fancy coming with me?
</3 my life.
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Oh my God, she's channeling Erik Gern.
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I take it that is a compliment? Can't claim to be familiar with Erik beyond a frontpage article I skimmed. XD
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I take it that is a compliment?
Well, he is one of the most recognizable frontpage authors...
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Cool. Any resemblence is entirely coincidental in that case. I've not paid much attention to the frontpage.
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I hope you know Hanzo, at least.
He's our favorite recurring TDWTF character, followed closely by Sergio and @presidentsdaughter.
Recommended Reading: Human Heat SinkAnd yes, all of them first appeared in Erik Gern's stories.
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Why would I encourage anyone to read about Hanzo, like a ninja in the night and the bloody book of Five Rings?
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Good thing "Human Heat Sink" wasn't a story.
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Indeed. It was one of Erik's less terrible efforts, I thought.
At least it's not the fucking windmills.
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Like an Inquisitor in the daylight, Sergio sneaks around Casa de Quixote ...
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Yes, yes, I know. I'm pointing out that Human Heat Sink was less terrible and that the fucking windmills were more terrible. Hanzo in the night is more... tragicomic.
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I fully agree with whatever @Arantor just said.
Filed under: We need a tag cloud!, Cornify all the things!, klatyzarc, whatever
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I am so tempted to set up Arantorbot now. It was at one time an SMF urban legend that I was really a bot since I seemed to post with superhuman speed about the most complex things.
Filed under: weren't we going to get a tag plugin at some point, pre-v1?
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That one was awesome. When I have a boring afternoon at work I know what to do.
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Arantorbot. Because the real Arantor isn't spammy enough:
Filed under: Department of redundancy department
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@ArantorBot is usually just as confused as the real @Arantor.
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You think that is possible?
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Kawaii!!
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That one was awesome. When I have a boring afternoon at work I know what to do.
Sergio's tales of heroism and windmillery are a lesson to us all.
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Arantorbot. Because the real Arantor isn't spammy enough:
Filed under: Department of redundancy department
Error: VIKINGS_NOT_FOUND.
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@ArantorBot is usually just as confused as the real @Arantor.
Marvin would tell you how depressingly stupid I am on this score, and I am easily confused.
A bot of me would only have to say 'what', 'where's the tea?' and 'I don't understand' and no-one would know the difference.
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don't forget "Yes, I know I'm TRWTF for using PHP"
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don't forget "Yes, I know I'm TRWTF for using PHP"
But that's not very Marvin-like to admit such.
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It wouldn't surprise me if the Sirius Cybernetics Corporation robots were all programmed in PHP
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It wouldn't surprise me if the Sirius Cybernetics Corporation robots were all programmed in PHP
Me either, and I like PHP.
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'I'm aware the TRWTF is PHP'
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The four things...
Amongst the things Arantorbot would have to be programmed with...?
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Nobody expects the ZZ9 Plural Z Alpha inquisition!
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Wow, you leave all the frogs standing.
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Pretty sure Arantorbot would say: "well, yes" when summoned and have some sort of functionality to post a clip of "Don't Stop Believing."
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It's like you know me.
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Just a little
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The PDA thread is that way.
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I'm not an I'm a ...
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I am not an , I am a just like my love
And I don't think I can see the PDA thread. This makes me unhappy.
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I am not an , I am a just like my love
And I don't think I can see the PDA thread. This makes me unhappy.
Indeed, you are not a regular yet
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It's not that weird. Aquarius is a sign of the air zodiac element. The weird part is the colour of the icon. Green is usually for the earth signs.
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ohnoes! Whatever will I do about that!
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ohnoes! Whatever will I do about that!
Read 1/4 of the posts here, like 20 posts or something every so often, receive 20 or so likes every so often? And be here 50 out of the last 100 days.
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that sounds suspiciously like effort!
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It's not that weird. Aquarius is a sign of the air zodiac element.
That's weird, because the icon looks like waves to me. Which are generally caused by wind, I suppose.
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that sounds suspiciously like effort!
But the rewards are... possibly maybe worth it. The ability to egregiously abuse topic titles certainly is.
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It's not that weird. Aquarius is a sign of the air zodiac element. The weird part is the colour of the icon. Green is usually for the earth signs.
And yet it sounds water-related - with the 'aqua' connection...
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I'm not an I'm a [1] ...
Really? Really? :ar autocomplete brings up the aries symbol along with the arrow symbols, and it looked enough like an arrow I just went with it.
[1] CBA remember what that symbol was for, CBA to enumerate the signs to find the right one.
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water signs:
fire signs:
earth:
and
air:
So yes, discourse fucked the colours. Made the air signs green and the earth signs yellow.
You're doing it wrong (TM)!!!
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So yes, discourse fucked the colours. Made the air signs green and the earth signs yellow.
You're doing it wrong (TM)!!!
Fairly sure I've been whining to you about this for a while now...
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So yes, discourse fucked the colours. Made the air signs green and the earth signs yellow.
You're doing it wrong (TM)!!!
Paging @Matches and @kevinranks ...
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Why are you paging me? This is obviously by design. CLOSED;WONTFIX;COLORBLIND;
Also, why would yellow represent air? Wouldn't blue be more appropriate?
Actually. . .
Green, by design.