How To Demoralize Employees: A DIY Guide for Terrible Companies
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@CodeNinja said:
What, this isn't a common thing in the industry? We hear that around here all the time. Apparently highly-trained software engineers (ok, so I'm not really, I went to an 'accelerated' for profit school and got lucky) aren't doing a job that's any harder than the guys on the manufacturing floor, and we're grossly overpayed to just sit on our butts staring at computer monitors, snapping software legos together.
Snort. Isn't that Marx's Labor Theory of Value? While I CBA to look up the details, I don't think he ever considered that different kinds of labor might deserve different valuations.
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chubertdev said:
They're all "walked in on parents getting it on in bedroom" looks now.
eww.
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Snort. Isn't that Marx's Labor Theory of Value? While I CBA to look up the details, I don't think he ever considered that different kinds of labor might deserve different valuations.
There's a lot of things he never considered. The biggest is that adding labor to raw materials doesn't always increase its value. It decreases it if you're making something nobody wants. That should have been a sure sign that something's wrong with the theory.
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That should have been a sure sign that something's wrong with the theory.
The theory wasn't about reality. It was about what he thought was good and correct.
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The theory wasn't about reality. It was about what he thought was good and correct.
So you're saying Marx was the original Social Justice WarriorTM?
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So you're saying Marx was the original Social Justice Warrior<sup>TM</sup>?
I'm sure the bright minds around here could come up with someone earlier. Without searching too far back in history, we at least come to Robespierre.
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There's a lot of things he never considered. The biggest is that adding labor to raw materials doesn't always increase its value. It decreases it if you're making something nobody wants. That should have been a sure sign that something's wrong with the theory.
Yeah; sometimes the opportunity costs of pairing X labor with Y raw material outweigh the profits that could be obtained that way. This can be a rather aggravating problem when the market being served is small, but essential (think drugs for rare, but crippling, conditions).
The theory wasn't about reality. It was about what he thought was good and correct.
- Marx is most definitely rolling over in his grave about what his words have been used to justify.
- Communism is fine in theory, it's simply stunningly impractical (albeit less stunningly so for a group-oriented society like the Chinese). Unfortunately, folks like Lenin had no grasp of this, and thus left Karl Marx rolling over in his grave as a result.
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@chubertdev said:
They're all "walked in on parents getting it on in bedroom" looks now.
or 
seems more appropriate.The sob one actually isn't bad.
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there really needs to be a :flee: emoji
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I'm posting here just so I can click my name and get the shortcut to the full list of emoji.
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Is that before or after a giant wooden rabbit is thrown over the battlements?
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either. just so long as it's before it lands.
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Indeed.
RUN AWAY RUN AWAAAAAAAAAAY
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They're all "walked in on parents getting it on in bedroom" looks now.
<--turn this one sideways 
:goberserk: 
:rage1: 
<-- Why is this sleepy? 
I don't get the correlation between the name and the image in about half of those.
I notice a lot of duplicates in the full list, and the emoji autocomplete breaks if you type in an underscore even if there are emoji with underscores.
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What about :running: ?
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bravely sir robin ran away?
how does that song go again?
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bravely sir robin ran away?
how does that song go again?
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BZwuTo7zKM8
Bravely bold Sir Robin
Rode forth from Camelot.
He was not afraid to die,
Oh brave Sir Robin.
He was not at all afraid
To be killed in nasty ways.
Brave, brave, brave, brave Sir Robin.He was not in the least bit scared
To be mashed into a pulp.
Or to have his eyes gouged out,
And his elbows broken.
To have his kneecaps split
And his body burned away,
And his limbs all hacked and mangled
Brave Sir Robin.His head smashed in
And his heart cut out
And his liver removed
And his bowels unplugged
And his nostrils raped
And his bottom burnt off
And his pen--"That's... that's enough music for now lads,
*** looks like there's dirty work afoot*** ???."Brave Sir Robin ran away.
("No!")
Bravely ran away away.
("I didn't!")
When danger reared it's ugly head,
He bravely turned his tail and fled.
("no!")
Yes, brave Sir Robin turned about
("I didn't!")
And gallantly he chickened out.Bravely taking ("I never did!") to his feet,
He beat a very brave retreat.
("all lies!")
Bravest of the braaaave, Sir Robin!
("I never!")
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I notice a lot of duplicates in the full list
For my own amusement:
[pjh@sofa discourse]$ IFS=$'\t\n '; for md5sum in $(md5sum plugins/emoji/public/images/*.png | cut -d' ' -f1 | sort | uniq -c | grep -v " 1 " | cut -d' ' -f8); do md5sum plugins/emoji/public/images/*.png | grep $md5sum; done 0bf1d3de309a89d9ed70ae91f6271a7f plugins/emoji/public/images/shipit.png 0bf1d3de309a89d9ed70ae91f6271a7f plugins/emoji/public/images/squirrel.png 183ff6aadf4ef4c21c18674732ac1d3f plugins/emoji/public/images/shirt.png 183ff6aadf4ef4c21c18674732ac1d3f plugins/emoji/public/images/tshirt.png 18ecbb414151f8a756e81033d6b54b0d plugins/emoji/public/images/email.png 18ecbb414151f8a756e81033d6b54b0d plugins/emoji/public/images/envelope.png 19b7a3da485e76d340e4ac78a04e728f plugins/emoji/public/images/mans_shoe.png 19b7a3da485e76d340e4ac78a04e728f plugins/emoji/public/images/shoe.png 1d7fe1e9f7c5ae141d8d16fd937c4ccd plugins/emoji/public/images/-1.png 1d7fe1e9f7c5ae141d8d16fd937c4ccd plugins/emoji/public/images/thumbsdown.png 226d893967ee7a1040d529ffb1dc5c91 plugins/emoji/public/images/railway_car.png 226d893967ee7a1040d529ffb1dc5c91 plugins/emoji/public/images/train.png 2645389fe1ca33e7eb73400518782482 plugins/emoji/public/images/runner.png 2645389fe1ca33e7eb73400518782482 plugins/emoji/public/images/running.png 3f4326568936bf15e000a8f5bb66759b plugins/emoji/public/images/bee.png 3f4326568936bf15e000a8f5bb66759b plugins/emoji/public/images/honeybee.png 44ecee82b3bb838749ad2895fc325d39 plugins/emoji/public/images/boom.png 44ecee82b3bb838749ad2895fc325d39 plugins/emoji/public/images/collision.png 4f46eb27685f2eea5485ef4ea7c0514f plugins/emoji/public/images/hankey.png 4f46eb27685f2eea5485ef4ea7c0514f plugins/emoji/public/images/poop.png 4f46eb27685f2eea5485ef4ea7c0514f plugins/emoji/public/images/shit.png 5dec97d08bd99f6b4f41cc41d8905c68 plugins/emoji/public/images/dolphin.png 5dec97d08bd99f6b4f41cc41d8905c68 plugins/emoji/public/images/flipper.png 6778159921601c10b542629af0c563f7 plugins/emoji/public/images/laughing.png 6778159921601c10b542629af0c563f7 plugins/emoji/public/images/satisfied.png 73e315a520490b798d196f67dbce10e3 plugins/emoji/public/images/boat.png 73e315a520490b798d196f67dbce10e3 plugins/emoji/public/images/sailboat.png 8b5481d1d59dd97edf3d373587a563e2 plugins/emoji/public/images/memo.png 8b5481d1d59dd97edf3d373587a563e2 plugins/emoji/public/images/pencil.png 9f795bc83af95505002141f435230eb5 plugins/emoji/public/images/car.png 9f795bc83af95505002141f435230eb5 plugins/emoji/public/images/red_car.png a78e14f5f7b726d1b137a304261a9fc0 plugins/emoji/public/images/phone.png a78e14f5f7b726d1b137a304261a9fc0 plugins/emoji/public/images/telephone.png b13ee8fadd57581cd9fd0cd762a97fe0 plugins/emoji/public/images/hand.png b13ee8fadd57581cd9fd0cd762a97fe0 plugins/emoji/public/images/raised_hand.png c5b63b8a807b3be8d248d2d6e429410a plugins/emoji/public/images/facepunch.png c5b63b8a807b3be8d248d2d6e429410a plugins/emoji/public/images/punch.png cad88ff3631721475e565395e73efc7c plugins/emoji/public/images/izakaya_lantern.png cad88ff3631721475e565395e73efc7c plugins/emoji/public/images/lantern.png d0ada6dd4524f06579dba28660a38bd8 plugins/emoji/public/images/gb.png d0ada6dd4524f06579dba28660a38bd8 plugins/emoji/public/images/uk.png d0e74cf5ed0e8afd2e0f2e006e6d4efb plugins/emoji/public/images/book.png d0e74cf5ed0e8afd2e0f2e006e6d4efb plugins/emoji/public/images/open_book.png dffbb1f4afa4ad1bedea8053511328ce plugins/emoji/public/images/exclamation.png dffbb1f4afa4ad1bedea8053511328ce plugins/emoji/public/images/heavy_exclamation_mark.png e3587f5967214a02c1fb498ad9caf26a plugins/emoji/public/images/feet.png e3587f5967214a02c1fb498ad9caf26a plugins/emoji/public/images/paw_prints.png ed4803a797f18532f5d19c1cfcdf9d17 plugins/emoji/public/images/+1.png ed4803a797f18532f5d19c1cfcdf9d17 plugins/emoji/public/images/thumbsup.png fdaa85356c8596fd221cd5f27b71938c plugins/emoji/public/images/moon.png fdaa85356c8596fd221cd5f27b71938c plugins/emoji/public/images/waxing_gibbous_moon.png[pjh@sofa discourse]$ IFS=$'\n\t'; for image in $(IFS=$'\t\n '; for md5sum in $(md5sum plugins/emoji/public/images/*.png | cut -d' ' -f1 | sort | uniq -c | grep -v " 1 " | cut -d' ' -f8); do md5sum plugins/emoji/public/images/*.png | grep $md5sum; done); do echo $image | cut -d'/' -f5 | sed -e "s/^\(.*\).png/:\1: - \1/g"; done
- shipit
:squirrel: - squirrel
- shirt
:tshirt: - tshirt
- email
- envelope
- mans_shoe
:shoe: - shoe
- -1
- thumbsdown
- railway_car
- train
- runner
:running: - running
- bee
- honeybee
- boom
- collision
- hankey
- poop
- shit
- dolphin
:flipper: - flipper
- laughing
- satisfied
:boat: - boat
- sailboat
- memo
- pencil
:car: - car
- red_car
:phone: - phone
- telephone
:hand: - hand
- raised_hand
:facepunch: - facepunch
- punch
- izakaya_lantern
:lantern: - lantern
- gb
:uk: - uk
- book
- open_book
- exclamation
:heavy_exclamation_mark: - heavy_exclamation_mark
- feet
- paw_prints
- +1
- thumbsup
:moon: - moon
- waxing_gibbous_moon
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Thanks for putting that bullshit in this thread instead of elsewhere.
Had a looong meeting with a group discussing the design for a new feature, one which has a very tight timeline. It kept getting derailed because one particular "architect" (what the fuck does that title even mean?) kept bringing up all these hypothetical situations:
"What would happen if someone else wanted to access those database tables directly without going through our API? What about if in the future we need to support Foobar?" etc.
During the fourth or fifth of these, I just stopped her and said:
"Look. You're saying 'if'. Are we talking about a 90% chance this will happen in the next 6 months? Or are we talking about a 5% chance this will happen in the next 10 years? Help me understand 'if'."
(For once, that's more-or-less an exact quote.)
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"Look. You're saying 'if'. Are we talking about a 90% chance this will happen in the next 6 months? Or are we talking about a 5% chance this will happen in the next 10 years? Help me understand 'if'."
Aww, you just ruined his day.
That reminds me of the guy at the place I work now who torpedoed using source control because it only does 90% of what we "need" (by which he meant the arcane features of the build process and the dev/test/qa/etc environment tree.)
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During the fourth or fifth of these, I just stopped her and said:
Aww, you just ruined his day.
100% chance of a sex change...
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Aww, you just ruined his day.
That was after an hour of bullshit discussing how we'll generate the WSDL for the service. I held my tongue from saying, "do you know how fucking EASY it is to build a WSDL? I could have actually done the fucking thing in a half hour."
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That was after an hour of bullshit discussing [the specifics don't matter]
Oh, we've all had that conversation. In fact, my example was probably more less the same conversation.
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People haven't been demoralized yet, but I just got ordered to do something likely to cause it in the next few months.
Certain organizations have people scheduled to do stuff. The time / place for the requirements are generated by the software after getting oodles of user input on business rules and when various events need to happen.
Those organizations are responsible for maintaining data on how many people they have to be scheduled. They haven't done a good job, and so it's apparently been a problem that we've been scheduling too many people at certain times.
The people who push the buttons to get the scheduling done and sort of help with the business rules don't like that sometimes the order of activities is changed based on the availability of people. They've convinced the powers that be that the scheduling process should ignore limits on the number of people, and supposedly the management of the people being scheduled has agreed.
I'm anticipating some excellent fireworks.
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I'm anticipating some excellent fireworks.
Oh, I can barely wait. This is going to be awesome the first time someone gets called while they're at the dentist. "Why aren't you here, you were scheduled to be in today!" "I told you three weeks ago I couldn't make it because I had a doctor's appointment!"
IOW it'll be half the content of notalwaysworking.com.
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Oh, I can barely wait. This is going to be awesome the first time someone gets called while they're at the dentist. "Why aren't you here, you were scheduled to be in today!" "I told you three weeks ago I couldn't make it because I had a doctor's appointment!"
IOW it'll be half the content of notalwaysworking.com.
That'd never happen to me. My phone is silent when I'm not available.
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Oh, I can barely wait. This is going to be awesome the first time someone gets called while they're at the dentist. "Why aren't you here, you were scheduled to be in today!" "I told you three weeks ago I couldn't make it because I had a doctor's appointment!"
It's not so much that. Keeping track of individual stuff is easy. It's more a case of saying, "You guys have to send 3 people at 8:00 on Tuesday." And then they go to figure out whom to send and there's no one available, when we could have just moved that to 3pm on Wednesday instead.
They have always been adamant that deciding when individuals get scheduled is a human's task. The system just says they have to supply a body.
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That'd never happen to me. My phone is silent when I'm not available.
Not everyone's that smart.
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It's not so much that. Keeping track of individual stuff is easy. It's more a case of saying, "You guys have to send 3 people at 8:00 on Tuesday." And then they go to figure out whom to send and there's no one available, when we could have just moved that to 3pm on Wednesday instead.
Ah, so instead the stories will be about 35 people milling around in the break room on Wednesday afternoon. Not as obviously exciting but I have confidence in you!
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Ah, so instead the stories will be about 35 people milling around in the break room on Wednesday afternoon. Not as obviously exciting but I have confidence in you!
Yeah, that too.
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Our product manager occasionally not-quite-jests that he works overtime frequently and he doesn't see why we shouldn't. I don't see it happening though.
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Oh, I can barely wait. This is going to be awesome the first time someone gets called while they're at the dentist. "Why aren't you here, you were scheduled to be in today!" "I told you three weeks ago I couldn't make it because I had a doctor's appointment!"
They'd probably say, "Mmm mmm mmmm mMMMmmm M mMMmm". Get it? Because the dentist has stuff in their mouth? Haha?
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The "only questions allowed" thread is over
there.
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Missed my point a little, but it was funny, so one like to you.
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Ticket comes in, gets assigned to me.
I pass it to the proper team responsible for the system, and give them what I know about the incident.They ask if I can communicate with the end user, do some research, etc.
I tell them, "no, this is your system, not mine. my only involvment was passing the ticket on. you have the system, you have the information. I'm washing my hands of this ticket. it's yours."
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That was after an hour of bullshit discussing how we'll generate the WSDL for the service. I held my tongue from saying, "do you know how fucking EASY it is to build a WSDL? I could have actually done the fucking thing in a half hour."
It's only easy if you're doing it the sensible way (getting a tool to generate it). If they're going to do it the mad way (writing it by hand) it takes a lot longer than that.
And yes, I recognise that type of scenario. People round here wonder why I sometimes get very dismissive of their stupid meetings…
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They'd probably say, "Mmm mmm mmmm mMMMmmm M mMMmm". Get it? Because the dentist has stuff in their mouth? Haha?
Oh baby, give me a call the next time you need dentistry, sounds sexy.
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So part of me was hoping today was an Article DiscoComments day, just so we'd have two threads with this title but under two different categories.
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Couldn't be worse than idiots posting "The Dictionary Of Emoji" in here for no fucking reason except to annoy me. A moderator, no less. The only active moderator!, no less. Then he even wrote "for my own amusement" at the top of it!!!
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Don't you mean
that way?Also lime green.
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The first person to receive a ticket should be doing triage on it.
The system should be set up so the first person to receive a ticket is equipped to do triage on it. Typically this would be a helpdesk person or some such. In this case, it probably shouldn't have been you, but the next guy probably only saw that you had it before him and assumed it was you who dropped the ball.
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I'm in a meeting that is killing me. I feel my life draining away.
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There's a woman at this meeting who is WAY too energetic. It's kind of disturbing.
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I don't know who that is, but the facial expression is similar.
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I don't know who that is
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The first person to receive a ticket should be doing triage on it.
The system should be set up so the first person to receive a ticket is equipped to do triage on it. Typically this would be a helpdesk person or some such. In this case, it probably shouldn't have been you, but the next guy probably only saw that you had it before him and assumed it was you who dropped the ball.
Nah, I passed on all the info, I was done. They had every piece of data that I did, they knew everything that I did, I could be of no more use to them, and yet, they still couldn't understand that I was absolutely done with the ticket.
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I still don't know who that is, but thanks for a link to a thread full of broken image icons? I guess?
Godaddy wtf
