The nerdy jokes thread (bonus original title mode!)
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Continuing the discussion from Where did your user name come from?:
Filed under: these jokes would make a nice topic as well.
Why the hell not then?
A byte walks into a bar and orders a beer.
The bartender gives him a beer and asks: "What's wrong?"
"Parity error", the byte says.
"Ah, I thought you looked a bit off""There are only 10 kinds of people in the world: those who understand binary, and those who don't."
Let the cheeziness begin!
Filed under: no Emoji for cheese? I am dissapoint.
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Question: How does a mathematician catch a lion?
Answer: He climbs into a cage, closes the door and defines himself as being outside.
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As if by cosmic coincidence, I just had this linked to me on IRC:
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Not so much a joke, put a silly pun I frequently make after a break from work.
In a mild TV announcer impression: "And now back to our regular programming".It took a couple of years for a colleague of mine to catch that stupid pun.
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There are only 10 kinds of people in the world: those who understand quaternary, those who don't, those who confuse it with ternary, and those who get annoyed with @ben_lubar for posting the lame joke they wanted to make before they got chance.
There are only 10 kinds of people: those who understand hexadecimal, and F the rest.
Damnit @Keith, you made me reply in the wrong topic!
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This post is deleted!
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There are only two hard things in Computer Science: cache invalidation, naming things and off-by-one errors.
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A DBA walks up to two tables in a pub and asks "Do you mind if I join you?"
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Photons have mass? I didn't know they were Catholic!
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I'd make a UDP joke but I'm not sure you guys would get it.
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Either the heat is killing me, or Discurse is fucking with me. Reposting becuse I fucked up, again:
A neutron walks into a bar and orders a drink. After finishing it he asks:
"How much?"
The bartender says: "For you, no charge."
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You win.
I'd tell you a TCP joke but it would take too long.
I'd tell you a 10Base-2 joke but---BSSSSZZZTYTHDSSSFTTTDSZ
I'd tell you a Wi-Fi joke but the microwave is running.
I'd tell you a TokenRing joke but it's not my turn yet.
Filed under: My jokes are the worst of the worst.
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I'd tell you a TolkeinRing joke, but a dragon ate it.
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TolkeinRing joke
Really? You go there and don't use a punchline about ruling or invisibility?
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I'd tell you a TolkeinRing joke, but a dragon ate it.
Really? You go there and don't use a punchline about ruling or invisibility?
I'd tell you a TolkeinRing joke but you'd never see it coming.
There. FTFY.
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I liked the "dog ate my homework" vibe. Also, I couldn't come up with anything along those lines that I liked.
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I'd tell you a TolkeinRing joke but you'd never see it coming.
Or,
I'd tell you a TolkeinRing joke but a hobbit stole it from me.
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Plus, I thought the dwarf rings were actually pretty cool and should have gotten more page time.
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Really? You go there and don't use a punchline about ruling or invisibility?
It's like a party with a keg.
Filed under: There is no punch line.
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I'd tell you a TolkeinRing joke but a hobbit stole it from me.
I'd tell you a TolkienRing joke, but you might get precious.
Filed under: What edit?
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It's like a party with a keg.
"Here's the keg!!! Erm, has anyone thought to bring a beer tap and a hammer?"
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"Here's the keg!!! Erm, has anyone thought to bring a beer tap and a hammer?"
They're nerds, they'll figure something out.
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His name is Tolkien, you luddites.
This meaning of the word calls into question a lot of @blakeyrat's posting history back on CS. @mikeTheLiar is probably still OK, though.
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For a moment I half thought that was a Unicode character which would make Unicode the WTF for including Tolkien's runes (even if it does include friggin' hieroglyphics)
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I thought about that, but didn't seem like a high probability of success. Had to look a bit to find a single rune image.
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Why do programmers get Halloween and Christmas confused?
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DEC 25 = OCT 31
Already mentioned that one already :P
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DEC 25 = OCT 31
Already mentioned that one already
Posting it elsewhere is a barrier to jokes.
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For a moment I half thought that was a Unicode character which would make Unicode the WTF for including Tolkien's runes (even if it does include friggin' hieroglyphics)
Why not? There's plenty of space available in the various supplementary planes. Support is a bit problematic, of course.
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It's not really about whether there's room or not. I'm just of the opinion it's not necessary.
You see, I'm not even a fan of hieroglyphics being part of the spec but at least that was a real language at some time in real every-day use. Once you start adding in characters for all kinds of fictional tales, even the important ones... you'd have to include all the dwarfish runes, Elvish script... then before you know it, Standard Galactic Alphabet as in Commander Keen will need to be in the standard, then every yo-yo that writes a book with a fictional alphabet will need to be brought into the spec.
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Sorry to disappoint you but I didn't get back to your thesaurus rant until after I'd posted here.
Damn. I should have made some pogo joke instead of yo-yo.
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Why do Java Programmers wear glasses?
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Because they can't C#
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I should have made some pogo joke instead of yo-yo.
Completely off-topic: there now exists an app to say "yo". I doesn't do anything else. Just says "yo".Filed under: Discourse needs a button that auto-posts a "Yo!" as reply to another post
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And then the Borderlands version that says 'Heeeyoooooo' instead.
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channeling @blakeyrat: WHAT DO YOU MEAN 'I'??? I WHAT??? SPEAK IN FULL SENTENCES!
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Why is Java such a manly language?
[spoiler]Because every programmer has to grow a Pair<A,B>.[/spoiler]
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Is that <spoiler>supposed to be legible when hovered?</spoiler>
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Hover and click for full reveal. [spoiler]It's [spoiler] tags.[/spoiler]
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Oh, so they got installed? I'd prefer them to collapse but hey, this works.
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And then the Borderlands version that says 'Heeeyoooooo' instead.
Is there a Lil' Jon version too?