"My double life as a software developer... and luddite"
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@khudzlin said in "My double life as a software developer... and luddite":
@steve_the_cynic said in "My double life as a software developer... and luddite":
It's probably the simplest cooking task known to man.
Yeah, even I can manage that. Though I put the eggs in cold water like @Carnage, but don't wait for the water to cool down because I like the yolk runny.
2-3 minutes for white mostly set, yolk liquid, 5-6 for yolk somewhat set, 15 minutes for fully hard-boiled.
And if you want to make Caesar salad the way I once saw Julia Childs make it, 1 minute. The yolk probably isn't even warm, and the white is a sort of gloppy mess. Absolutely the grossest thing I've ever seen someone do with a boiled egg.
By the way, I'm sure that someone out there on da intawebz has done something even grosser, but I don't want to know about it, thanks.
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@pleegwat said in "My double life as a software developer... and luddite":
@rhywden said in "My double life as a software developer... and luddite":
I mean, just take a look at the available varieties of knives. And how many do you use? Two if you're honest. A large and a small one.
I note you don't prepare tomatoes, or have never used a proper tomato knife.
What for? A properly sharp knife easily does the trick.
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@mrl said in "My double life as a software developer... and luddite":
@steve_the_cynic said in "My double life as a software developer... and luddite":
It's probably the simplest cooking task known to man.Egg cooker makes it even easier, plus you can control how they are cooked no matter how many you make.
Put eggs in, pour a glass of water, turn it on and wander off to read tdwtf/watch netflix/read a book.
Sure, but it's not "essential". And it doesn't help with "person 1 likes hard boiled, person 2 likes soft boiled" if you want to serve them at the same time. Well, unless you have two machines. But I can do that with my saucepan by adding the second person's egg(s) to the water at the right moment.
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@steve_the_cynic said in "My double life as a software developer... and luddite":
Sure, but it's not "essential".
It sure is not.
And it doesn't help with "person 1 likes hard boiled, person 2 likes soft boiled" if you want to serve them at the same time. Well, unless you have two machines. But I can do that with my saucepan by adding the second person's egg(s) to the water at the right moment.
Yeah, I would have to run the machine twice, which would probably take longer than regular boiling.
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@rhywden said in "My double life as a software developer... and luddite":
Not sure what you're playing at. There's a lot of kitchen stuff out there you don't actually need. Or maybe once or twice per decade (and you can usually make do with what you're using on a regular basis).
Agreed.
@rhywden said in "My double life as a software developer... and luddite":
I mean, just take a look at the available varieties of knives. And how many do you use? Two if you're honest. A large and a small one.
You lost me. I have two paring knives and four chef knives that I use extremely regularly. I rotate them and use whichever is sharpest to get by longer between sharpenings. Beyond that I also regularly use a boning/carving knife as a chef's knife is just too bulky and wide for those tasks. I also use a bread knife pretty regularly as non-serrated knives are pretty rubbish for slicing bread.
So four different types of knives, 8ish knives in total.
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@lucas1 said in "My double life as a software developer... and luddite":
@rhywden I have an egg cooker. Essential.
So have I. It's called a frying pan.
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@gąska said in "My double life as a software developer... and luddite":
@rhywden but that's you and me, complete amateurs, at least one of which doesn't cook at all. A professional culinary journalist, one that received multiple prizes for her work, ought to be held to slightly higher standards, don't you think? Just like it's expected from programmers to have at least elementary knowledge about assembler languages.
No. A better comparison would be for you to be able to identify with a glance each and every single esoteric language and framework and all of that, even if you did not use them. You may recognize them as a computer language, but you may not recognize exactly what they are.
@Rhywden is correct, there is a lot of useless shit when it comes to kitchen gadgets. You may recognize that it is to be used in the kitchen due to how it was given to you (in a kitchen swag bag) but not know
it is to be used for.
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@bjolling said in "My double life as a software developer... and luddite":
In my car, the 'exploding fuel' pushes the pistons but maybe that's different where you are from?
"That's not an explosion" thread is
(try searching for hindenburg)
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@carnage said in "My double life as a software developer... and luddite":
I might ruin my good name!
Too late.
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@steve_the_cynic said in "My double life as a software developer... and luddite":
And if you want to make Caesar salad the way I once saw Julia Childs make it, 1 minute. The yolk probably isn't even warm, and the white is a sort of gloppy mess. Absolutely the grossest thing I've ever seen someone do with a boiled egg.
By the way, I'm sure that someone out there on da intawebz has done something even grosser, but I don't want to know about it, thanks.
Usually you just use a raw egg, so not really much difference.
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@polygeekery said in "My double life as a software developer... and luddite":
@carnage said in "My double life as a software developer... and luddite":
I might ruin my good name!
Too late.
Aw, dagnabbit!
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@rhywden said in "My double life as a software developer... and luddite":
First: Do you actually know what kind of kitchen gadgets were in that bag?
For example, what is this?When @Rhywden and I are agreeing you can probably take it to the bank.
What is this and why would you need it?
Or this?
Or this?
Or this?
Or this?
Or this?
Or this?
The sheer volume of useless unitasking bullshit they make for the kitchen is mind boggling. When we registered for wedding gifts I remember the girl thought I was weird because I told her we did not want to register for any of that useless shit. It would all be taking up space in a kitchen drawer or in a box in the basement or given to Goodwill by now.
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@carnage said in "My double life as a software developer... and luddite":
Aaaw, come on, that one is too easy.
A GIS thinks that it is "best white elephant gift" so I think he chose wisely.
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@pleegwat said in "My double life as a software developer... and luddite":
I note you don't prepare tomatoes, or have never used a proper tomato knife.
I do, and I have never needed a tomato knife.
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@steve_the_cynic said in "My double life as a software developer... and luddite":
something even grosser
sorry, I'm out of fresh virgin boy pee
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@polygeekery said in "My double life as a software developer... and luddite":
@pleegwat said in "My double life as a software developer... and luddite":
I note you don't prepare tomatoes, or have never used a proper tomato knife.
I do, and I have never needed a tomato knife.
I have on at least one occasion resorted to sharpening someone's knife on the bottom of a ceramic mug because it wasn't sharp enough to cut through tomato skin without smashing the tomato.
A good sharp knife should go through tomato skin like it's not even there.
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@luhmann said in "My double life as a software developer... and luddite":
@steve_the_cynic said in "My double life as a software developer... and luddite":
something even grosser
sorry, I'm out of fresh virgin boy pee
Congratulations?
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@anotherusername said in "My double life as a software developer... and luddite":
A good sharp knife should go through tomato skin like it's not even there.
Yep. I keep my knives razor sharp so I have never needed one.
If I did I would just use a bread knife because it is a larger version of the same thing, but it will also cut bread.
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Right, lets see how well I do...
@polygeekery said in "My double life as a software developer... and luddite":
What is this and why would you need it?
Looks like it's for scoring things. I'm going to say cake decorating, for getting parallel lines
Or this?
I think this is for cutting fresh pasta
Or this?
That lets you cut and lift a slice of pizza in one
Or this?
Trick question, that's a nit comb for getting rid of headlice.
Although I suppose if you were really short on protein...
Or this?
Is that pasta again? For cutting and crimping ravioli? If not then it's some sort of garlic peeler
Or this?
That's for stoning and cutting avocado.
Or this?
Looks like a sink strainer.
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@gąska said in "My double life as a software developer... and luddite":
@sloosecannon said in "My double life as a software developer... and luddite":
You don't need to know anything about assembler to be a good programmer.
Technically, no. Practically, a good programmer is someone who can write maintainable, efficient code in somewhat short time. You'd have to really try your hardest to avoid any bit of information about assembler in your quest for knowledge. You'd be like a pole vaulter who can't run more than 1km. A race driver who can't operate gear stick. Sure, it's technically possible to be one, but have you ever seen any?
Knowing at least the basics of how assembly works for your platform is crucial for reverse engineering stuff.
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@jaloopa said in "My double life as a software developer... and luddite":
Right, lets see how well I do...
2/7
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Treat those "Food Critics" like royalty...
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@dkf said in "My double life as a software developer... and luddite":
you really do have to look at the assembly sometimes
There are a couple of reasons I have had to look at assembly in recent years. They're not terribly common, but they do happen.
You have to test what happens if thing A happens, then thing B happens on the next clock cycle. Unless you can make them happen one immediately after the other, you can't answer the question (and if you don't, you can be sure that some customer will discover the answer, and you won't like it). Nowadays, the answer is usually going to be randomizing the occurrence of A and B, and keep trying until you see them happen with the timing you want, but a few years ago that might mean adding a few NOPs at a strategic point to adjust the event timing.
Another situation in which I have used knowledge of assembly (not actually writing it, but reading the listing of the compiled and linked code) is figuring out what the heck the CPU is actually doing at a particular moment. The CPU reads some bad data from memory or an I/O port and corrupts everything the whole chip tries to do from that point on. I've watched instructions move through the fetch-decode-execute pipeline to figure out which instruction the CPU was executing and what address it was reading from when the bad data was read.
I admit I don't know enough to write aassembly language code for any recent-generation CPU, nor do I remember the instruction set of the ones I used to know, but the general knowledge of assembly language, CPU instruction sets, and how the CPU executes them is definitely useful in my field at times.
OTOH, admittedly, I'm not writing desktop applications or web front-ends, or database connectors. For that sort of programming, it's rather a bit less useful. Still, knowing what's going on under the hood is never a bad thing.
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@anotherusername said in "My double life as a software developer... and luddite":
@steve_the_cynic said in "My double life as a software developer... and luddite":
And if you want to make Caesar salad the way I once saw Julia Childs make it, 1 minute. The yolk probably isn't even warm, and the white is a sort of gloppy mess. Absolutely the grossest thing I've ever seen someone do with a boiled egg.
By the way, I'm sure that someone out there on da intawebz has done something even grosser, but I don't want to know about it, thanks.
Usually you just use a raw egg, so not really much difference.
That's neither here nor there. I was talking about how she did it, and appearance-wise, there's a big difference between a raw egg and a one-minute egg. After a minute, the white has kinda sorta begun to set, so it's a mass of gloppy lumps.
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@polygeekery said in "My double life as a software developer... and luddite":
Wolverine's knuckledusters
scissors for making ruffled edges on banners/streamers
for people too retarded to use a pizza wheel
nit-comb, or getting those itches really good
pencil sharpener
someone decided to "improve" the kiwi spoon-knife and just fucked up
one of those drain strainers you see in urinals
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@spencer 1/7
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@polygeekery it was the last one, wasn't it?
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@spencer pizza scissors.
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@anotherusername said in "My double life as a software developer... and luddite":
A good sharp knife should go through tomato skin like it's not even there.
I have a knife for cutting tomatoes, but it's just a medium sized knife that's comfortable to hold, holds a really nice edge when you sharpen it, and looks good on the dining table. It's got no special attributes or anything like that.
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@jaloopa said in "My double life as a software developer... and luddite":
Looks like a sink strainer.
GIS says that it is a tuna press. I have no idea why anyone would ever want a tuna press.
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@dkf said in "My double life as a software developer... and luddite":
@jaloopa said in "My double life as a software developer... and luddite":
Looks like a sink strainer.
GIS says that it is a tuna press. I have no idea why anyone would ever want a tuna press.
Yep. I just use the lid. I can always find it, I don't have to rummage through drawers and when I am done with it I throw it in recycling and don't have to wash it.
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@hardwaregeek said in "My double life as a software developer... and luddite":
There are a couple of reasons I have had to look at assembly in recent years. They're not terribly common, but they do happen.
Considering the popularity of the Compiler Explorer, I'd say that looking at generated assembly isn't that weird. But, sure, it depends on what you do.
I end up looking at assembly every now and then. It may be during profiling, because something is taking time and it's not immediately obvious from the high-level code. Some things I past into the compiler explorer up front just to see the damage they do. Debugging drops me into asm on occasion. If I need to vectorize stuff I usually look at the results in ASM.
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@polygeekery said in "My double life as a software developer... and luddite":
throw it in recycling and don't have to wash it.
How smelly are your recycling bins?
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@pjh said in "My double life as a software developer... and luddite":
@polygeekery said in "My double life as a software developer... and luddite":
throw it in recycling and don't have to wash it.
How smelly are your recycling bins?
Not at all. All recycling goes in to bags. Also, I don't go around smelling my trash cans.
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@polygeekery said in "My double life as a software developer... and luddite":
What is this and why would you need it?
Shreds cooked meat, e.g. pork. Alternatively really, really poor meat tenderizre
Herb shredder (or you could just... julienne them)
I mean, I still like the pizza idea, but it is clearly intended to cut and strain. Fuck it I'm still going for pizza
Lice comb as others have said, or the world's worst meat tenderizer.
It crimps pie crust while cutting off the excess.
Multi purpose knife? Egg slicer, citrus knife, holder in the middle?
Sink drain.
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@jazzyjosh 3/7
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FFS.
@polygeekery said in "My double life as a software developer... and luddite":
Meat handlers (for lifting whole chicken e.g.,) also used for producing pulled pork.
Herb scissors.
Pizza cutter, as mention before.
It's a quilling comb. But if you must use it in the kitchen, stab your whole/half onions with it before slicing them using the tongs as guides.
Garlic chopper.
An essential tool used in the preparation of avocado toast.
Tuna press. Presuming your tuna comes in round cans..
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@pjh someone did a GIS, 7/7.
I assume GIS because no sane person would know
that garlic chopper thing is. Honestly, all the guesses that people had for it seemed more plausible than what it actually is.
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@pjh said in "My double life as a software developer... and luddite":
An essential tool used in the preparation of avocado toast.
There is nothing essential about avocado toast. I had never heard of "avocado toast," and my life has not been improved by my newfound awareness of it.
@pjh said in "My double life as a software developer... and luddite":
Bugger you, tuna!
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Tool, apparently, for making pulled pork or similar or for tossing salads. (I did have to look that one up, but before hitting Goggle I speculated about tossing salads.
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Herb-chopping scissors.
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Pizza scissors - the triangle helps for picking up the cut piece, but I prefer your analysis.
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Not entirely sure, I must admit, but then I'm not a professional food writer.
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I've seen something like that somewhere, but I don't remember what it's supposed to be.
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I can imagine that being meant for doing ... something and something and something else with boiled eggs, but that's speculation.
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Now that someone mentioned "tuna press" I can see the concept - you have a can of tuna and want to get the bulk of the oil / brine out of it - this will, in theory, be more effective than the top of the can because it allows the liquid to escape from the centre of the block, but frankly life's too short for that sort of thing.
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@dkf said in "My double life as a software developer... and luddite":
@anotherusername said in "My double life as a software developer... and luddite":
A good sharp knife should go through tomato skin like it's not even there.
I have a knife for cutting tomatoes, but it's just a medium sized knife that's comfortable to hold, holds a really nice edge when you sharpen it, and looks good on the dining table. It's got no special attributes or anything like that.
Yeah... some people think that you need a serrated knife for cutting tomatoes.
They are wrong.
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@anotherusername said in "My double life as a software developer... and luddite":
@dkf said in "My double life as a software developer... and luddite":
@anotherusername said in "My double life as a software developer... and luddite":
A good sharp knife should go through tomato skin like it's not even there.
I have a knife for cutting tomatoes, but it's just a medium sized knife that's comfortable to hold, holds a really nice edge when you sharpen it, and looks good on the dining table. It's got no special attributes or anything like that.
Yeah... some people think that you need a serrated knife for cutting tomatoes.
They are wrong.
If it is sufficiently sharp, it doesn't need to be serrated. If it is not sufficiently sharp, serration helps, but
.
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@steve_the_cynic
yeah, I could've had a reasonable, logical guess at all those things. But it was more fun to come up with the silliest-yet-still-believable answers I could.
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Method for choosing a kitchen knife:
- reach into drawer, get knife
- if drawer empty: is there a clean knife elsewhere?
2a. Use clean knife
2b. Curse.
Admittedly, using a bread knife for cutting up herbs is a bit of a dicey proposition. (I solved that particular problem by moving to a place that doesn't sell edible bread in the first place, so now I don't have to own a bread knife anymore.)
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@cvi said in "My double life as a software developer... and luddite":
Admittedly, using a bread knife for cutting up herbs is a bit of a dicey proposition.
In general, the only kitchen knives that really need serration seem to be bread knives (and then only if you're dealing with very crusty bread). For the rest, the important things are whether it's comfortable, sharp enough, a good size for the task, and that you're not cross-mixing anything that's potentially contaminated and things that will be eaten without cooking (e.g., raw meat and salad material). And scissors actually work better for some tasks.
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@carnage said in "My double life as a software developer... and luddite":
I know you put it in quotes so you probably know it, but combustion engines should not have exploding fuel, but a controlled fast burn. Explosions in ICe are generally referred to as knocking, and it's bad.
Diesels...
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This post is deleted!
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@spencer said in "My double life as a software developer... and luddite":
@steve_the_cynic
yeah, I could've had a reasonable, logical guess at all those things. But it was more fun to come up with the silliest-yet-still-believable answers I could.Some of your explanations made more sense than reality, so there's that.
Lots of useless shit that you can buy to take up drawer space.
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@cvi said in "My double life as a software developer... and luddite":
Admittedly, using a bread knife for cutting up herbs is a bit of a dicey proposition.
It doesn't sound like the proper tool for dicing, though.
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@dkf said in "My double life as a software developer... and luddite":
And scissors actually work better for some tasks.
Yep. I use scissors instead of a knife for snipping bacon in to short pieces to fry up, to debone chicken (much easier to use scissors to spatchcock poultry), and some other things. Some people use scissors for things like chives but I have always found a knife to be quicker.
