authors

@sockpuppet7 cost is no object! Mostly because I only get a few unsolicited B2B a week - they're less traditional "spam" (those get filtered) and more prospecting emails

I would love to figure out how to do AI voices and all that!

A long while ago, I wrote about my dream for Effective trolling of B2B prospectors/spammers:

We're making some great trollgress here! I'm starting to envision a pipeline that could be entirely automated as needed. So let's talk about that. How can this be done?

Unlike Lenny, which strives to keep people on the phone for as long as possible, I'm envisioning a system that keeps B2B spammers pursing the lead for as long as possible through multiple mediums, and leading them through an increasingly bizarre world of our creation.

-- snip --

• First response: this sounds interestingg, what's cost look?. The most likely will not respond with the cost, but instead what to know what my needs are.

• Second response: thank0-- awesome; okay i'll be offsite thru next wwk, can u get started w Brian, my assst?.

• First response from Brian (no CC to Alex): Thank you very much for your inquiry; after carefully reviewing things, I've decided that I'm not interested in pursing this at this time.

You can see where this is going. Eventually, I shift from Brian to Alyssa, who schedules a meeting, that I miss due to timezones but promptly apologize for. Next meeting is a video meeting, and Alex shows up really early: there's a webcam with a desk, sitting down, getting coffee, taking to himself, not realizing his camera is on, and then when the meeting officially starts, complains that he can't see or hear anyone else, does a bunch of reset things -- but eventually has to end because Brian interrupts with an urgent issue.

Perhaps the next meeting, Alyssa mistakenly schedules two people at once (as @cvi suggested). And so on. And maybe in the end, they'll finally end with a "sat-phone call with the CEO who's on Safari" who basically complains and tells them they need to qualify leads better.

Oooooh how times have changed! I'm getting close to revising this dream thanks to George.

This prompt has produced some wonderful results so far:

I'm annoyed at getting unsolicited emails, and would like to send long and drawn-out responses to salespeople who send me emails. The email should feign some interest and ask a lot of questions, with the goal of wasting their time. Note that I would be interested in a call, but my schedule is very busy and I want to learn more before committing to a call. Write a response to the following email.

And George's replies to their replies are wonderful.

So from here, it's a question of... how to automate this further?? Technology has to have progressed to the point of making my trolling dream come true?