π The synergistic thread of data-driven agile community-based buzzwords leveraged to present a business and personal advantage
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So I tried this topic out with Sans Bullshit Sans to see how much of a bullshit ratio it has.
I r dissapoint, son.
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@Arantor said in π The synergistic thread of data-driven agile community-based buzzwords leveraged to present a business and personal advantage:
I r dissapoint, son.
Yeah, how does it not pickup synergistic, data-driven, and community-based?
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@boomzilla It knows
synergy
and it knowsbig data
. Apparently they started building their font (yes, it's actually a font) from this list: http://ngenworks.com/culture/250-buzzwords-we-love-to-hate/
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@Arantor these guys leveraged the hate on buzzwords, thought outside the box and shifted the paradigms in font design.
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Legit.
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@Arantor said in π The synergistic thread of data-driven agile community-based buzzwords leveraged to present a business and personal advantage:
Legit.
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I can't stand the word "innovation" anymore
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@wharrgarbl said in π The synergistic thread of data-driven agile community-based buzzwords leveraged to present a business and personal advantage:
I can't stand the word "innovation" anymore
It's overused and thus worth so much less.
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The horizontal stakeholders better align with the go-to-market adoption of disruption.
Almost copied from some boss+2 PHB
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@wharrgarbl "Alignment"
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The latest release of Windows Embedded products helps companies extend the intelligence of their information technology systems. With the Windows Embedded 8 family, enterprises can empower employees and customers with secure access to business-critical data, delivered in rich, natural user experiences through the power of Windows 8 technologies. Designed to connect to existing enterprise IT systems, Windows Embedded 8 ensures the manageability, consistency and predictability that enterprises require. For partners, Windows Embedded 8 delivers the power, familiarity and reliability of the Windows operating system with flexibility for the advanced industry devices and solutions they create. Windows Embedded 8 is connected, targeted and customizable, offers rich experiences to delight your users, is more secure and utilizes enterprise grade features. The platform is also intelligent systems ready; enterprises and partners can capitalize on existing enterprise investments as they build out powerful enterprise-class solutions.
HOLY WALL OF TEXT, BATMAN!
Let's decipher those buzzwords:
The latest release of Windows Embedded products helps companies do useful stuff with computers. With the Windows Embedded 8 family, enterprises can give secure access to business-critical data through a nice app. Designed to connect to existing enterprise IT systems, Windows Embedded 8 is a good OS for enterprise. For partners, Windows Embedded 8 lets you build good devices that have Windows. Windows Embedded 8 is seriously really good and does a lot of things. The platform is also intelligent systems ready (okay, what the fuck does that mean?); enterprises and partners can reuse their existing stuff as they build out more good stuff.
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@anonymous234 said in π The synergistic thread of data-driven agile community-based buzzwords leveraged to present a business and personal advantage:
The platform is also intelligent systems ready (okay, what the fuck does that mean?)
Supports Cortana?
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I made a word cloud of all the Windows Embedded descriptions.
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@anonymous234 Nice. Are you a Microsoft dev looking for help?
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"Intentionality" is a new one on me.
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@boomzilla NONE OF THOSE ARE WORDS
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@raceprouk They're artificial words.
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@raceprouk said in π The synergistic thread of data-driven agile community-based buzzwords leveraged to present a business and personal advantage:
NONE OF THOSE ARE WORDS
They can be if we wish very hard!
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They even acknowledge it's just another term for "work from home". But they wanted to be special anyway.
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@anonymous234 said in π The synergistic thread of data-driven agile community-based buzzwords leveraged to present a business and personal advantage:
They even acknowledge it's just another term for "work from home".
Technically there are subtle differences in the terms, and even the caption could be takes as "virtual location positions" or "work-from-home positions".
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@thecpuwizard said in π The synergistic thread of data-driven agile community-based buzzwords leveraged to present a business and personal advantage:
@anonymous234 said in π The synergistic thread of data-driven agile community-based buzzwords leveraged to present a business and personal advantage:
They even acknowledge it's just another term for "work from home".
Technically there are subtle differences in the terms, and even the caption could be takes as "virtual location positions" or "work-from-home positions".
I would honestly assume an employer using the term "Virtual Location" is going to pay for access to a coworking venue.
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I would honestly assume an employer using the term "Virtual Location" is going to pay for access to a coworking venue.
Or, whatever resources are needed to make the physical work location "virtually" identical to working in a classic central office location...
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@thecpuwizard said in π The synergistic thread of data-driven agile community-based buzzwords leveraged to present a business and personal advantage:
I would honestly assume an employer using the term "Virtual Location" is going to pay for access to a coworking venue.
Or, whatever resources are needed to make the physical work location "virtually" identical to working in a classic central office location...
So they're going to pipe in a bunch of audio from their open office?
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@jazzyjosh said in π The synergistic thread of data-driven agile community-based buzzwords leveraged to present a business and personal advantage:
@thecpuwizard said in π The synergistic thread of data-driven agile community-based buzzwords leveraged to present a business and personal advantage:
I would honestly assume an employer using the term "Virtual Location" is going to pay for access to a coworking venue.
Or, whatever resources are needed to make the physical work location "virtually" identical to working in a classic central office location...
So they're going to pipe in a bunch of audio from their open office?
Save bandwidth and just loop this locally for an authentic experience:
someone_from_another_department_having_a_loud_call_by_your_desk.wav
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@jazzyjosh Or any annoying situation that you usually need Terry Tate to handle.
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@jazzyjosh said in π The synergistic thread of data-driven agile community-based buzzwords leveraged to present a business and personal advantage:
@thecpuwizard said in π The synergistic thread of data-driven agile community-based buzzwords leveraged to present a business and personal advantage:
I would honestly assume an employer using the term "Virtual Location" is going to pay for access to a coworking venue.
Or, whatever resources are needed to make the physical work location "virtually" identical to working in a classic central office location...
So they're going to pipe in a bunch of audio from their open office?
Not exactly, but elements such as video conferencing, appropriate bandwidth, office support [e.g. local Kinkos, Staples], can all be part of the package.
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@boomzilla said in π The synergistic thread of data-driven agile community-based buzzwords leveraged to present a business and personal advantage:
Cadaverification β what @Lorne-Kates does to trans-hookers.
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@hardwaregeek Hmm. All of those are in the correct order for him too!
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Cross-posting from @djls45 's post Ellellator go up. Ellellator go down. Ellellator go up. Ellellator go down...:
Vycle is a human-powered vertical transport system for our expanding cities
Taking inspiration from bicycles, Vycle is a system powered by continuous cyclical movement. Its benefits are twofold: firstly, it will give stakeholders a more efficient and sustainable option to ascend, and secondly variable energy selection will be able to cater to people of varied ages and abilities, whilst creating a personalised experience.
From the LEARN MORE section:
APPLICATION - FITNESS AND WELLBEING
Vycle in an office environment reinforces the growing importance of workers for communal areas, eco-friendly buildings, and bike parking facilities. Vycle is a statement showing the core values of the space: is an energy efficient vertical transport system that on one side improves the long-term wellbeing of the employee and and on the other reintroduces the sense of flow and community that currently is exclusive on the urban ground plane.
APPLICATION - HEALTH AND SAFETY
The lightweight, low square footage and flexible aspect of the system makes it suitable for retrofitting and temporary installations like in the use of scaffoldings or cranes.
In the construction sector, around a quarter of the workforce is aged over 50. Vycle is an alternative to long ladders often used in these temporary works that can offer the user a more sustainable and safer way to navigate through scaffoldings, cranes or transmission towers.
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@jbert said in π The synergistic thread of data-driven agile community-based buzzwords leveraged to present a business and personal advantage:
reintroduces the sense of flow and community
How does an elevator that can be used by only one person at a time (re)introduce a sense of community? How does an elevator that cannot be called to a floor where someone else is waiting to use it (re)introduce a sense of flow?
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@hardwaregeek
It forms a sense of community in the people stand there and looking at the schmuck trying to level up without spilling his morning coffee
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Since ο are already starting to get old, I think the next big (nonsensical) thing is going to be bots.
Microsoft has been advertising their Bot Framework and Azure Bot Service on their websites for a while, and I just saw a conference at my university about them.
The pitch being "you can build an intelligent agent that interacts with people! It can act as a member of the group! Imagine the possibilities". Nevermind that they literally can't do anything that a plain GUI can't already do.
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@anonymous234 Although I was thinking AR/MR/XR was going to become the Next Big Thing, although tbf I haven't seen anything new there for a couple months now. Was in january where I saw a lot of buzz about those techs.
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https://www.minsait.com/en/digital-and-technology-consulting
"What we do: technologies with cool names. ALL OF THEM."
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@anonymous234
Itβs an especially absurd technology to push, because whatβs the win condition?βHey, our onboarding process leaves new hires with insufficient information about their benefits and responsibilities as employees, how can we improve our HR process?β βI know! Weβll set up a virtual HR assistant using Bot Framework to answer questions our employees have about their benefits and responsibilities!β βBut no one ever asks HR about these benefits, because they donβt know they exist...β
βBooootttt Fraaaameeeework!!!!!!β
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@anonymous234 said in π The synergistic thread of data-driven agile community-based buzzwords leveraged to present a business and personal advantage:
Look out! Waterfall is a new methodology to those guys!
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@boomzilla I particularly like the way that "Statistics" is considered not useful, while "Statistical programming" is moderately useful and "Data science" is very useful (and easier to acquire than the other two).
Also, the way that "Business intelligence" is much more useful and quicker to acquire than "Data warehousing".
Granted, this is for how one particular company identified their own needs, and not supposed to be a general case. But it still seems like they didn't really know what they were talking about.
ETA: Oh, there's a clarification in one of the comments.
βNot usefulβ simply means focusing on that skill now is not important for your team now. That might well be because the capability is already well covered.
So for us at Filtered, maths and stats are already well covered, and further focus on building those skills is not useful relative to others.
I would never say maths, stats, etc are not useful generally.That does make more sense.
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https://developer.ibm.com/technologies/
Oh lord the pain...
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@anonymous234
I like how their image for "Blockchain" has a split in it. As if they just know whatever they create will go horribly wrong and they'll have to fork a previous version.
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This one is a bit worrying. Can you imagine error messages like "Something went wrong We're so sorry, we hope you were not having a bad day . Your search history indicates you like Chinese food, would you like to order some delivery to make your day brighter? "
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@anonymous234: and if you click on "Yes", you go back to "Something went wrong ". Because the issue is that your Internet connection doesn't work, and obviously nobody noticed the Catch-22.
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@anonymous234
"I've been talking to the computer. It hates me."
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@Applied-Mediocrity It's just grumpy because of the pain in the diodes on its left side.
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According to the agenda for this week today I am supposed to work with:
Own planning with a starting point in the systematic quality progression, local work plan and quality report.
And after lunch I am to:
Work in unity with the morning work.
Because that's so much easier than writing "Personal planning time" and "Continued planning time".
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@Atazhaia said in π The synergistic thread of data-driven agile community-based buzzwords leveraged to present a business and personal advantage:
According to the agenda for this week today I am supposed to work with:
Own planning with a starting point in the systematic quality progression, local work plan and quality report.
And after lunch I am to:
Work in unity with the morning work.
Because that's so much easier than writing "Personal planning time" and "Continued planning time".
I'm guessing the reason it's not all just "Planning time" is because of Vogon bureaucracy? E.g. there has to be a lunch break so it's two halves of a day.
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@Shoreline Pretty much, yeah. They could have just done a "lunch when it fits" or even skipped explicitly typing out the lunch hour, as people would be taking ther lunch either way at about the time written.
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@Atazhaia said in π The synergistic thread of data-driven agile community-based buzzwords leveraged to present a business and personal advantage:
@Shoreline Pretty much, yeah. They could have just done a "lunch when it fits" or even skipped explicitly typing out the lunch hour, as people would be taking their lunch either way at about the time written.
Either way you'd have Monolunch-Punctuated Planning Time. More Enterprisey/Enterprisesque/Enterprisular.