Elephantastic jokes
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(self-
ing)@remi said in Driving Anti-Patterns - Necro Edition:
@boomzilla Mmmm, not quite, no. Your link is for a long-winded story that hasn't really got any funny element (except maybe incidentally, but not as part of the main story), and works because people expect something funny to happen at some point and their expectations are subverted to the very end by not having a true funny punchline. I do know a few stories that fit that description, but I don't really like telling them because putting in the right amount of long-windedness, while keeping it somewhat interesting for listeners, is just too much work for me.
In the case of the elephant stories, there isn't truly an overarching narrative (just a common theme), and each step is (supposed to be) a joke by itself (a bad one, granted, and often of the absurd kind). The fun derives from the piling-on of such "jokes", and how they build on each other. They work better if you spread them out a little bit by telling other stories, or letting other people tell other stories, in between, so that people don't really have the previous ones fully in mind when you tell the next one (typically they work fairly well at boyscouts gathering or similar).
Some of the same series:
Q: How to you fit a giraffe in a fridge in 3 movements?
A: Open the door, put in the giraffe, close the door.Q: How to you fit an elephant in a fridge in 4 movements?
A: Open the door, remove the giraffe, put in the elephant, close the door.Q: How do you know an elephant has been in your fridge?
A: There are foot marks in the butter.Q: How do you know the elephants have gone to church?
A: The Mini is parked in front.Q: Why are there only 3 elephants at church?
A: The fourth one is still in the fridge.@Zecc said in Driving Anti-Patterns - Necro Edition:
Q: how do you pass an elephant through a closed door?
A: put the elephant inside a sealed envelope and slide it under the door.Q: what if it won't fit?
A: remove the stamp.@remi said in Driving Anti-Patterns - Necro Edition:
Q: How do elephants hide in the wood?
A: They disguise themselves as strawberries.Q: Why haven't you ever seen an elephant close to where you live?
A: Because they're all well disguised.Q: how do you kill a blue elephant?
A: shoot it with a blue gun.Q: how do you kill a red elephant?
A: shoot it with a red gun.Q: how do you kill a grey elephant?
A: choke it until it turns blue, then shoot it with a blue gun.
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ITYM "Elephantastic jokes"
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@loopback0 Your PR was accepted.
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@Zecc so that's what happened here.
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Q: why do elephants walk in a compact herd?
A: because the one in the middle has the radio.Q: why do rhinoceroses walk in compact herds?
A: because they want other animals to believe they have a radio.
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Q: how do you fit two hippos in a Mini?
A: you can't, there already are 4 elephants in there!
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(not to be confused with:
Q: how do you get two whales in a Mini?
A: take the M4
)
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@Zecc said in Elephantastic jokes:
Q: how do you kill a blue elephant?
A: shoot it with a blue gun.
Q: how do you kill a red elephant?
A: shoot it with a red gun.
Q: how do you kill a grey elephant?
A: choke it until it turns blue, then shoot it with a blue gun.You forgot the final one of that series:
Q: how do you kill a pink elephant?
A: There's no such thing as pink elephants, stupid!(for best effect, that answer should be given in a very condescending tone)
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Q: how does an elephant climb in a tree?
A: he sits on a shrub and waits for it to grow.Q: how does an elephant get down a tree?
A: he sits on a leave and waits for it to fall.Q: why are crocodile flats?
A: they like going into the woods in autumn.
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@boomzilla said in Driving Anti-Patterns - Necro Edition:
I had a feeling you'd try to point out that mostly irr
elevantelephant difference. You used a series of unfunny jokes instead of a story, but it relies on the same things.
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@ixvedeusi said in Elephantastic jokes:
@Zecc said in Elephantastic jokes:
Q: how do you kill a blue elephant?
A: shoot it with a blue gun.
Q: how do you kill a red elephant?
A: shoot it with a red gun.
Q: how do you kill a grey elephant?
A: choke it until it turns blue, then shoot it with a blue gun.You forgot the final one of that series:
Q: how do you kill a pink elephant?
A: There's no such thing as pink elephants, stupid!(for best effect, that answer should be given in a very condescending tone)
Then who was marching in that parade?
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Q: Why do elephants varnish their toenails red?
A: To hide in cherry trees.
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@No_1 said in Elephantastic jokes:
Q: Why do elephants paint their toenails red?
A: To hide in cherry trees.I love how international these are.
I must have first heard that one nearly 30 years ago.
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@No_1 said in Elephantastic jokes:
Q: Why do elephants paint their toenails red?
A: To hide in cherry trees.The version I heard involved hiding in strawberry patches.
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@Mason_Wheeler said in Elephantastic jokes:
strawberry patches.
how does that work? strawberry's don't grow on trees!
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Q: What's the difference between an elephant and a prune?
A: The color.Q: What did Tarzan say when he saw a bunch of elephants approaching?
A: Here come the elephants.Q: What did Jane say when she saw a bunch of elephants approaching?
A: Here come the prunes. (She was color-blind.)
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@Mason_Wheeler Isn't usually men that are colour blind, not women?
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@Zecc said in Elephantastic jokes:
@No_1 said in Elephantastic jokes:
Q: Why do elephants paint their toenails red?
A: To hide in cherry trees.I love how international these are.
I must have first heard that one nearly 30 years ago.For me, > 40.
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How is it possible that this forum has been around for 16 years without this topic? :shudder
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@jinpa said in Elephantastic jokes:
How is it possible that this forum has been around for 16 years without this topic? :shudder
People must have figured that everybody was trying to forget them.
Relatedly, I just thought of this old TV advert:
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@Mason_Wheeler said in Elephantastic jokes:
Here come the elephants.
Q: What do you do if you see a herd of elephants coming towards you?
A: Swim for it.
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@JBert said in Elephantastic jokes:
People must have figured that everybody was trying to forget them.
An elephant joke is never forgotten.
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Q: what can a mother elephant get, that no other mother can?
A: a baby elephant.
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@No_1 said in Elephantastic jokes:
@Mason_Wheeler said in Elephantastic jokes:
Here come the elephants.
Q: What do you do if you see a herd of elephants coming towards you?
A: Swim for it.What's grey and comes in pints?
An elephant
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Q: what's the difference between an Asian elephant and an African elephant?
A: about 5000 km.
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Q: Why is an elephant large, gray, and wrinkled?
A: Because if it was small, white, and smooth it'd be an aspirin.
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What do you get if you cross an elephant and a mole?
Very large molehills.
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@PleegWat That's just making mountains out of molehills.
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@brie I blame you. I told that to my son, and he slapped me upside the head. Three times.
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@HardwareGeek You probably deserved it.
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@HardwareGeek said in Elephantastic jokes:
@brie I blame you. I told that to my son, and he slapped me upside the head. Three times.
Kids these days.
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@jinpa said in Elephantastic jokes:
@HardwareGeek said in Elephantastic jokes:
@brie I blame you. I told that to my son, and he slapped me upside the head. Three times.
Kids these days.
I blame his parents.
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Q: How do you get down off an elephant?
A: You don't. You get down off a duck.
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Q: What do you call an elephant in a tree with a briefcase?
A: A branch manager.
