Just went to check my lottery results, and after seeing this, decided to do a Back to the Future Part II style cheat. I've put a reminder on my Google calendar to buy a ticket on 23rd Nov 2023, but please give me a chance to win the entire jackpot by not doing the same.
Posts made by MeesterTurner
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Time travel. It exists!
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RE: Privacy
[quote user="Renan "C#" Sousa"]
I once logged into my mastercard account and it listed someone else's credit card as being mine - it even showed me the card number and the security code. That was about four years ago. I could've charged 4 grand on the poor bugger's card and he wouldn't know what hit him.
[/quote]We have some Xerox printers in our office, and we order consumables from their web-based
pile o' crapordering tool. About a year ago, as well as our four printers, another one (completely different model to ours) appeared, listed to an address that's in another town, and nothing to do with us in the slightest.Every now and again (ok, probably once a week), we order them some consumables.... just because we can. Wonder how their stockpile is getting....
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MovieOS strikes again!
Yesterday, we had an "incident" in the car park on CCTV where some berk reversed into a colleague's car. The camera is only has a crappy resolution, but is connected to a DVR, so we can replay recordings on a web interface. We can make out shapes of people, and can basically identify people at the front door (where the camera points) but nothing in mega detail, and certainly not any distinguishing marks on a reversing car approx 10 meters away.
So, after the "incident" (this is the official name of the event in question), I get asked to login to see if we can see who did it, and get their licence plate number. I go to the bit of the AVI file where it happens, and can't read the licence plate (no surprises there). I then get told to "draw a box around the back of the car, then zoom and enhance". When I give the "that's as good as it gets, if you zoom in it'll get blocky" explanation, the reply is "don't be stupid, they have these systems on TV... They can enhance the picture, why can't you?!"
Whaddya think this is? CS-bloody-I?!?!?!? -
RE: Approval is paramount
@da Doctah said:
A poor workman blames his tools.
A good workman knows its his tools' fault!! -
RE: NDA WTF'ry
@Qwerty said:
There's probably some legal term you can sign it with that will allow the person insisting on a signature to report back that you signed it but actually means you disagree with the contents. The words "without prejudice" on a document have some specific legal meaning (at least under UK and Australian law) which basically means nothing on that document can be used in legal proceedings.
One of my bosses signed something like that once with the words "Under Duress" - I think that's what you're looking for. Also, FYI, a similar trick for signing for parcels is "Unchecked". -
RE: Job Offer - Any Takers?
@bstorer said:
Bless you, sir. If you swap that Earl Grey out for a triple shot mochaccino and acquire an almost sexual fascination with guns, you might have a future as an American.
Our office vending machine does Espresso-choc. Will that do instead? Now I'm off to read Playgun magazine in the toilet, I may be some time :-) -
RE: Job Offer - Any Takers?
@bstorer said:
And are they really under the bizarre impression that whatever the fuck it is that Russell Brand does is actually amusing?
I'm English. I think Russell Brand sucks! -
RE: Windows XP
Nope. My company just did the same. In my defence, we had 5-6 Win 2K boxes, all the others were XP, and .Net 3.5 doesn't work on 2K (and a new app we just got needs it). And no-one would let me do an all-out Win 7 upgrade :-( Still, works for us!! I'd best not mention our core in-house app is actually written in VB6 with no plans to convert that beast to .NET... That would make us look really out-of-date :-)
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Tickboxes... Remixed!
Tickboxes are good. Radio buttons are good. Tickboxes that work like radio buttons are not.
Someone should tell my colleague that... Everyone knows where they stand with "regular" tickboxes and radio buttons, no need for extra code on the radio buttons as they (in .net land anyway) just work, so it makes it a bit easier for everyone concerned.
And why did my friend create this tickbox-as-a-radio-button mashup? "Because I like the way they look better than radio buttons"
Needless to say, end user was suitably confused, and colleague shot.
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RE: Better late than never...
@Bumble Bee Tuna said:
I pity the fool named "MeesterTurner" that redacts the letters after "Mr. T", as if we couldn't figure it out.
Yes, it was deliberate :-)
Betchya can't work out my office address though, as I may still be wanted by the government for a crime I didn't commit.
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Better late than never...
I got this letter in the post today.... I know the next line on the it is "If you have recently renewed your licence, please disregard this letter", but even so the letter below does make you wonder how integrated their marketing department is to their sales (Note the dates, and the other - invisible - fact that I renewed 1st March)
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RE: Wow, thanks for the support calls
My brand spanking new laptop arrived yesterday with McAfee installed. I'd seen this story somewhere a couple of hours beforehand at work, so new laptop setup process involved disabling the WLAN using the hardware switch whilst running the "You've unpackaged your new laptop!" wizard, and removing McAfee before it had a chance to update.
Basically, normal procedure, with the additional step of disabling wireless then......
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RE: We've got it all wrong, why use a printer when MAGIC will do instead?
@Charleh said:
Your wife sent you shopping but forget to put an item on the list? No more hard to track text messages asking you to add 6 Mars bars to the list, just get her to update the spreadsheet!
This happens to me more than I care to think of.... Someone invent this magic voodoo wotsit ink system now... pleeeeease!
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RE: You have the data so whats the problem?
I'm guilty of bringing our fine WTF-free selves into disripute....
Do I spend a few minutes doing a small UI to setup exceptions for whatever feature, or knock up another If statement and hard code statuses or account numbers? Usually, the latter.
I have already slapped myself in the face with a wet fish for doing so. I hope that is punishment enough :-)
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Always one.... or in this case, zero...
I've installed Sophos Anti Virus far too many times to be able to count using fingers, toes, limbs, appendages and hair follicles. And it's worked perfectly every time. So, on this one occasion that I'm reinstalling XP on an existing box (from scratch, with full format), it decided to show this:
Still installed absolutely fine though :-)
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Inflation in 2010
Was just doing some price comparisons using Dell's website. I'm not keen on Windows 7, and I know to encourage take up of the new OS, they sometimes do overprice older versions (just try getting XP Pro at the moment!), but this might be taking the biscuit slightly...
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RE: T-Mobile WTFs
I'm on an unlimited text plan with T-Mobile, although through the website I find I am limited to 9,999,999 messages. I think that's just not on....! :-)
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RE: Get max ID
@Mason Wheeler said:
Never heard of "select top 1", then?
...or alternatively "SELECT MAX(IDField) FROM Table"
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RE: Renew your domains
Ah, the joys of having a corporate credit card! I can spend what I want, when I want, on what I want without asking (within reason.. ahem!).
This way, the suppliers get their money, I get goods quickly, both parties are happy, and then I don't care how long it takes accounts to pay the bill. And if you're thinking "until they forget and my card stops working", the bank takes the money straight out of our bank account by direct debit.
Simples!
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RE: MORE Microsoft Photoshop Disasters?
@El_Heffe said:
WTF? They didn't use the real guy? OK. Maybe he's really shy or wasn't available.
Remember, Intel want their brand to look sexy. They can't use real Intel staff - They'd be too ugly like the rest of us "normal" (i.e. non-actor) people!! :-)
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Rounding bug wierdness, methinks!
I was always lead to believe that if you multiply a whole number by another whole number, you will always get...... a whole number!
I've been through different ways to try to replicate this, but even if I take the ex-VAT price listed on another page, and add the VAT back on, it always comes back as £71.98
So, the question is.... am I lucky to have a 1p discount, or am I getting ripped off by 1p? You decide!!!
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RE: Easier to read than one line of code?!
@Fabian said:
May I suggest a default case? Maybe something like:
MyTab = MyTab + 1
?
That's exactly what it now reads... with the following comment above it:
' Nick - Check http://forums.thedailywtf.com/forums/t/14558.aspx about this next line of code :-)
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Easier to read than one line of code?!
Sometimes, I just want to actually put that "Bang Head Here" sign on my desk, particularly when I'm looking at some code that the programmer knows isn't particularly right!!!
<font face="courier new,courier"> ' I know you could + 1 - but easier to read here !!
</font><font face="courier new,courier"> Select Case Me.SSNPControl.Tab
Case 0: MyTab = 1
Case 1: MyTab = 2
Case 2: MyTab = 3
Case 3: MyTab = 4
Case 4: MyTab = 5
Case 5: MyTab = 6
Case 6: MyTab = 7
Case 7: MyTab = 8
Case 8: MyTab = 9
Case 9: MyTab = 10
Case 10: MyTab = 11
Case 11: MyTab = 12
End Select</font> -
RE: Marty! We're going Back to the Future!
@Helix said:
noame and shame please - it's not like this is a bit trashing of there reputation.
Yeah, ok, since I'm still p****d off (just called them again, and they still haven't heard or seen anything of the order - but at least my credit card hasn't been charged AFAIK).
BTW, don't laugh about what I could've been buying... my wife's pregnant. I don't have a beer gut to fit into a maternity dress...
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Marty! We're going Back to the Future!
One phone call today felt like I was in 1996. Or more accurately, like calling an ex-client in 1996, who was a tiny backstreet pet food store, who thought that web-based ordering was printing a blank PDF from a website and getting it in the post.
Last night, I placed an order on an e-tailer's website (a fairly large & reputable one, thousands of orders a month I assume) which, for one reason or another, today I've decided to cancel. I've got my email from them saying "Thanks for the order, here's the order number" and the usual blah, so I thought, no problem, I'll give them a quick call.
Call number one - I was told that the order "hadn't hit the warehouse system yet, it probably will in a couple of hours" and I'd get a call back before they processed the order. Ok, slightly odd, but it's the first working day after Xmas (it is here in Blighty anyway), so probably a bit of a backlog, or something temporarily went wrong between webserver and warehouse system.
Call number two - They didn't call me, so I called them. They still "hadn't got the order on the system", to which I expressed my worry about them having my credit card details at the same time as losing my order, and I told the guy to describe their system. Apparently, after the order is placed on the website, the order is then sent to the warehouse on an email. Some poor loser, or multiples thereof, then has the job of manually re-typing all the orders into their warehouse system so that the pickers can do their job.
Manually typing in the orders!?!?!?!?! Whaaaa?! If you can afford a shiny, well-put together website, send out even shinier paper catalogue and fulfil thousands of orders a month, surely someone has had the thought "how can we make this more efficient to [let's be honest] make more money!!!"
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Happy New Year (yes, already)
It's that time of year again! Our customer services team are "diarising" (is that even a word?!) customer accounts that need contacting when we re-open over to January 2010, but forgetting to change the year field on our calendar control and setting the date to Jan 2009. But that's not the WTF....
This year, someone actually bothered to mention it to me so I could fix it (it's only been a bug for around 10 years). No bother, just something to do as I'm getting bored (it's not worth doing any "real" work on Xmas Eve!). The original code in the section that presumably should have done this check looked like this:
<font size="2" face="courier new,courier">Calendar.Show</font><font size="2" face="courier new,courier">
If Calendar.SelectedDate >= Date Then
HoldDate = Calendar.SelectedDate
Else
HoldDate = Calendar.SelectedDate
End If</font>Ah, the joys of the impending new year!
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RE: I'm no DBA....
@Volcanon said:
If ever get access to their sourcecode, you will see probably a week's worth of articles by me.
My company is also looking at buying the source to the only piece of software that isn't in-house developed. I think I'll be spending a lot of time posting here when we get it too...
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RE: Feel the Sicness
Oh, man! I feel so.... so..... useless. According to this guy's s(h)ite, "I am 6'2" tall with brown hair and hazel eyes"
I'm 5'8" with black hair and grey-blue eyes (read "pasty-faced short-arse") No wonder my websites are crap!
I need that makeover now to ensure that I can say that "I am THAT good"!
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Good product placement, or just extracting the urine?
On today's The Register is this story about how the population of the county of Norfolk can't use Google (for those outside the UK, the place has got a rep for being very in-bred [allegedly]). The banner ad made me smile though:
How to go to google: Easy, type in "G", "o", "o", "g", "l", "e", ".", "c", "o", "m" into your address bar... Do Norfolk residents really need their own personal intern for doing that?! :-)
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RE: Minor Solitaire WTF
At least you guys get that far... Management here made me do this to our domain group policy for starting Solitaire:
Sometimes I hate being the sysadmin...
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RE: Tell us how you REALLY feel about Argentina. :)
Ahhh! I feel refreshed afterhaving an hour extra in bed after we switched back to GMT this morning from British Summer Time. Yay for me!
My twin sons were up earlier (well, same time as they're concerned cos they can't tell time yet), but that means they'll be tired before their regular bedtime, so they'll be going to sleep earlier! Double yay! :-)
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RE: Whaddya mean "else"?
@AndyCanfield said:
My boo-boo. What I wrongly said about 22 rightly applies to 60: you can have CustAge in "Case 22 To 60" and also in "Case 60 To 65". Thus two different cases match, making the whole case statement sensitive to evaluation order etc.
Sweet Jesus! I never even spotted that myself!!! D'oh!!! :-)
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RE: Whaddya mean "else"?
@dtech said:
@dcardani said:
I'm just curious what this routine is trying to do. At first I thought it was checking if the customer was old enough to purchase alcohol, but that check would be less than 21, not 22 (at least for the US, in most cases). Then I thought maybe it was for a senior discount, but it seems to apply differently to people from 60 to 65 than for people over 65, which is unusual for a senior discount. The message for customers 60 to 65 is also odd. Check length of deal? What does that mean, and why would your age affect it? Just curious.
My thoughts were insurances of some kind. But I couldn't think of one that would fit all the cases (car, life-insurance, funeral and unemployment don't really seem to aply). My second-best guess would be loans, mortages or some other long-term agreement.
Not far off guys... it's car finance! The output is used in a message box, and the company I work for don't do loans for under 22's (they're likely to wrap their turbocharged Subaru Impreza around a tree), or for those 65+ who have most likely retired and have sod-all income from a UK pension.
In answer to everyone else... It's definitely declared as an integer, and it errors with a null (I thought of that, so I tried it to find out) Also, as you can probably tell from the phrasing, we occasionally have a sloppy grasp of English... ah, the fun of in-house development with almost no QA :-)
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Whaddya mean "else"?
Just seen this in a ex-co-worker's code:
<font color="#000080" face="courier new,courier"> Select Case CustAge
Case Is < 22
MyMsg = "WARNING - Customer is under 22 years old"
Case 22 To 60
MyMsg = ""
Case 60 To 65
MyMsg = "Customer is " & CustAge & " Check length of deal."
Case Is > 65
MyMsg = "WARNING - Customer is over 65 years old."
Case Else
MyMsg = "Cannot calculate customer age. Please check details."
End Select</font>Case else?! If CustAge is defined an integer, what the hell else can it be??!!
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$FORUM_SUBJECT
I don't normally read spam, but this expert piece of marketing caught my eye...
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RE: Deadlines
Similar thing happened to a me and a mate of mine working in the same place...
He was plodding through the project (an extranet for some industrial firm) believing the deadline was in two months. Our project manager comes up to him and says "You do know it needs to be ready by Friday don't you?" - This is on Wednesday at 5pm as we're leaving to go home.
He went in the office early the next day, didn't leave until nearly midnight, and gets me and another guy roped in to hurriedly code up this thing. We go home and congratulate ourselves on a job well done (and some speedy keyboardery), and think the client will be happy.
Client comes in on Friday for a meeting as planned. However, our project manager got it wrong... it wasn't the "ok-we're-about-to-make-this-live-today-so-please-help-us-check-it-works" meeting that we (and obviously the project manager) thought it was... It was the "we're-a-month-in-are-we-keeping-to-schedule" meeting.
From client's point of view, it couldn't have gone any better ("You're ready to launch? NOW?!? Groovy!") From ours, not so much - We ran our project manager out of the firm fairly sharpish, with pitch forks and everything... and yes, the deadline was two months from that point.
And yes, he really did say "Groovy!"
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RE: If you are Ulises Cortes, don't worry
In our software, people who forget their passwords have a box asking them to go to the IT helpdesk. I've always wondered what happens if whoever's manning the IT helpdesk consequently forgets their password since that'll be the person who's got to go to himself to reset his password, but he can't login because he forgot his password, so he has to go to himself... ad infinitum
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RE: This is only the beginning...
Being a programmer (or, in my non-IT friends' words "Because I work with computers") I do seem to get roped in to do on-the-fly tech support for random people, their mates, grandmas, cats, etc.
I know f*ck all about cars, apart from how to actually drive, and "warning lights mean something ain't right". I also know a lot of people who "work with cars". It doesn't mean I call them up every time I need to know something.... I actually find the manual and read it!!! Failing that, use Google or borrow a Haynes manual from the library. And then consider asking them what it might be, without pressuring them to fix it.
I think this "Dude, you gotta help me" phenomenon is much worse for us in IT though..... Man, it's sooo annoying!
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RE: Clbuttic censorship
Just had another thought... a colleague of mine works in Scunthorpe...
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RE: Clbuttic censorship
@rohypnol said:
This sure makes it difficult for #**** Dracula to introduce himself.
Note: In this post, # is capital *.
On my keyboard, * is upper case "8"... :-)
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RE: "Share and Enjoy" the sounds of the chemist.
A long time ago I worked on the checkout of a large home improvement chain. For the entire four years, right next to the checkouts was this bloody 1m 30s looping video of the Dremel Multitool, featuring the voiceover artist from hell. It was only ever switched off when the shop was closed. By the time I left, I could recite the thing word for word, and probably did so in my sleep too...
Thankfully, that was almost 10 years ago that I left, and somehow I've managed to forget the words! :-)
The people that create these monstrosities do so for a quick marketing tool to try to entice the passing customer, unfortunately they don't consider the sanity (or lack thereof) of the staff that have to listen to it 8 hours a day...
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RE: Asking for trouble...
That's kinda what I thought too! But I thought I'd leave that particularly amusing task to someone else.... Don't wanna use my company's internet access for borderline hacking activity (is it hacking when people freely have given out their credentials????)
Maybe I'm just far too honest (he says a few days after using a neighbours' unsecure wireless connection.... hey! I've got an idea about that ;-)
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Asking for trouble...
A colleague of mine stumbled on this post on a forum earlier today:
http://forums.asp.net/p/1106645/1694691.aspx
About 4 posts down is a snippet of XML (something .net related... I don't do a lot of .net) Conveniently highlighted in aforementioned snippet is an email address. And next to it, lo and behold, a password.
So, 10 seconds later, out came my trusty old Telnet client, guessed (successfully) at the name of their POP3 server, and entered the username and password. Imagine the glee when the server responds with "+OK".... I was tempted to put the details into Outlook Express and start downloading, but I thought not...
Just as big a WTF is the fact that the post is from 2007, and boyo has not yet changed his publicly available credentials... Hope this guy isn't in charge of their corporate email system....
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RE: New Support Guy probably needs clean pants now...
<font size="2">No SQL related accidents today :-)</font>
Developmestruction - It's not for wimps!
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New Support Guy probably needs clean pants now...
Just spoken to the support desk of a software supplier we use. The software in question we've used for years, and we have an agreement with them that we can write our own software around their database that does anything their product doesn't do (and we've become damned good at it). Yesterday we applied an update to it, and the part of the program that claims customer payments didn't work. I knew why it didn't work (one database field wasn't filled in), but contacted their support as I didn't want to fix it myself every day, especially since I'm off on holidays soon...
By the time support bod called back, a new fella I'd not spoken to before, I'd already fixed it as our admin girls wanted to go home to drink multiple bottles of cheap wine, but I promised him I'd show him the next day (today)
So, I hooked up into their remote desktop system so he could see what I was looking at on screen, and I could hear him in the background chatting to a developer. Then came the question "How did you fix it yesterday?". He then watched me remote desktop from that PC to my PC, loaded up SQL Server Enterprise Manager, and typed (without checking the database schema first, 'cos I've practially committed it to memory) "UPDATE PaymentClaims SET Reference = AccountNumber WHERE ...etc... " and clicked "Execute".
I could practically hear him go as white as a sheet just before he stuttered "What are you doing!?!?!?!", clearly thinking we're the equivalent of a granny taking her car to get serviced and showing the mechanic how she removes and reinserts the spark plugs in order to get it started
Bless him, he is new after all!
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RE: Do as I say, not as I do.
Even better than that, I did first one successfully, now it seems to be not working at all. But they give you some helpful instructions on how to get around it right at the bottom...
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RE: I think I'm missing a plugin...
The best bit is that you can actually disable the Mozilla Default Plugin. Not willing to try it right now though....!
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I think I'm missing a plugin...
For me, it's a bit of a classic WTF (I've took this image about 10-ish years ago), but found it when rummaging through some folders on my HD - It comes from a Mozilla 0.x release, long time before it became the beast that is Firefox...
(http://img188.imageshack.us/img188/2821/mozillaplugin.png)
Can you say "Recursive"?